So..... how do I know if he's into me?
I'm starting to worry over this. I honestly cannot tell if Ofir, one of my salsa friends, is into me or not.
We've suddenly become very very close... well, not so suddenly. It started a month ago, after one of our Salsa Mob volunteer events. We went to a nearby pub, about 8 of us, and had a few drinks and snacks. During that night, we sat at opposite ends of the group but still interacted, and exchanged phone numbers for salsa-contact. Ever since then, gradually, we've started becoming friends. At the next volunteer event (which bombed; it was supposed to be a youth group at an outdoor park but no kids came, so we just all went to the Mob's dance studio and danced there :P ) we also danced together and got a little closer, and I don't know, I just suddenly realized what a nice, fun guy he is.
Until recently, he was just one of Noam's friends to me. I'm still not sure exactly how close they are, but I know they live close to each other and were in school together, and they would go to the beach together and all sorts of stuff. But I don't think they're best friends or anything. Anyway, until a month ago, I didn't really pay that much attention to Ofir, and didn't dance with him either. But at Salsa Mob we're usually 10-20 people tops, so eventually I'll be dancing with him. And I've discovered that he's really good! He likes to do dips and lifts, and he does them well, so it's really fun :)
At the barbeque 2 weeks ago, we started getting physically close. I sat down on the grass and he suddenly popped up, sprawled down next to me, and put his head on my lap. We stayed like that for about an hour, that night. We also danced a bit together, and talked some.
Two days later was the 'End of Summer' party at the salsa club, and after that Ofir and I went to the beach together for the first time, at night. It was fun, and we said we'd do it again. The next week, we did, with 2 other salsa friends. The week after that (last thursday, after a party at the Mob's dance studio), we went again, with 3 friends this time. It's become almost a custom :)
However, that night I'd gotten my period, and also my sugar was very high so I was feeling sick. We broke up the beach party at 4AM and I practically fell asleep in the car on the way to his house where my car was parked. He walked me to my car and checked that I was okay before walking away, and even as I sat there in my car shaking with cold and crying because of my sugar and stomach cramps, he stood at his doorstep and didn't go inside until he'd seen me start to drive away. He was pretty worried about me, he even called me the next morning to see if I was alive...
We've been talking on FB and on the phone/text almost every single day. Just... silly, everyday stuff. We just really get each other. We went from hardly talking to being very good friends in a month. Now? He's all over me, and I'm all over him. Whenever we're in a group, he sits next to me most of the evening, and we're always touching and hugging/cuddling:
(blurry picture of me is blurry, but you get the idea: he's a hugger)
That was at bowling a week and a half ago... small scale. Last night I was actually in his lap:
Yeah... that's him peeking through the menu. I was in his lap half the night, and he had an arm around my waist or shoulder. We fed each other chips and I stole a few sips of his beer. At one point he took my hand in his and laced our fingers together. WTF?? No wonder people think we're a couple!!
And this was our second time seeing each other that day! We'd met up at an army benefits fair earlier that day, and spent 2 hours walking through the fair, checking out electronic gadgets, lazing around on huge lounge pillows, and eating popsicles. I came by train and he has a motorcycle ---- aka Bumblebee, like the Transofrmer! Isn't it cute? :D It's very recent -----
So anyway, I was walking from the fair back to the train station, and he rode the short way there just as I was walking by, almost as though he were watching over me to see if I got there safely :) After the train ride, I'd just gotten home and he called me, saying the Salsa Mob guys were getting together at a pub that evening, and I was coming. Not "are you coming?" but, "you're coming."
So, aside from being all over each other physically, in a very cozy friendly kind of way, we also joke a lot about sex. I love innuendos and so does he, and we joke about sex. With each other.
Okay, it's... I have next to no personal, physical experience with sex. He obviously does. He's 23 and a normal human being, meaning, he probably lost his virginity at 16 like any normal boy and I know he's had a few serious girlfriends. And he's self-admittedly shallow. He's said he looks at a girl first and won't look at her again if she's unattractive. He's probably had a dozen flings and he's not ashamed of it. He's declared that during the Salsa Festival (which is in Eilat in 1 week!!!!!) he intends to have as many flings as possible, and he's included me in that - I don't know, though, if he was serious or joking.
I've gone along with it so far, because it's fun to joke about that sort of stuff. We joke about having sex all the time, he and I. I'm not sure I would mind having sex with him. He sure sounds like he knows what he's doing, and I bet I'd have a good time.
But should I sleep with him? At any given time? It's quite possible that I'll be stopping by his place tomorrow night after salsa. He's getting the super-comfy pouffs/lounge pillows we tried out at the fair delivered tomorrow, and I said the moment he gets them I'm coming over to commandeer one. We joked that it would probably be cool to have sex on one of those. We just can't seem to stop... it'll be the first time I've been up to his room and I just ..... I don't know.
I just don't know how he feels about me, what I am to him. There are several possibilities:
1 - the platonic friend.
2 - the summer fling, possibly during the salsa festival.
3 - real girlfriend potential.
My options are the following:
1 - ask him now, and possibly ruin everything, whatever may happen.
2 - wait another week and see how things go until the festival. Maybe something will happen tomorrow night?
3 - wait until the festival itself. See if he tries to get me into bed during the festival. Maybe if he doesn't then it means he likes me more than as a fling?
4 - sleep with him at the festival and finally lose my virginity... maybe dancing and alcohol will be good for me.
5 - do nothing at the festival..... see how he acts during the festival. Wait until after and then ask him?
The thing is.... well, yes, I do sort of want a relationship with him. He's a great guy. He's fun and a great dancer and underneath the goofy, shallow exterior he's actually smart and a real gentleman.
But. He's a Salsa Guy. And I've been there before, and it didn't end well, and I got hurt. Noam broke me for two months, practically. I actually wonder that Ofir is hanging out with me as much as he is, and as closely as he is, knowing that Noam and I were together. Then again, last week he said, "We should stop talking about having a fling at the festival... you were with Noam after all. He's my friend, I can't do that." And two days later I mentioned in a conversation with a bunch of salsa friends that Noam and I didn't sleep together, and Ofir suddenly brightened: "Why didn't you say so sooner? That changes things!"
Ack. This guy has got me twisted into knots over him. And he knows I'm supposedly dating someone now - there was a successful first date last sunday but since then nothing has worked out. He's nice but, eh... Ofir is the only one on my mind right now. And he knows it. I mentioned to Ofir that I might be going out with him (the other guy) tonight and admitted that I'm not too into him and that we hadn't seen each other in over a week. Ofir said "Well of course. You've been hanging out with me! I bet you can't think of anyone else."
And the problem?
He is so right.
And this is where the 'fuck my life' tag comes in.
We've suddenly become very very close... well, not so suddenly. It started a month ago, after one of our Salsa Mob volunteer events. We went to a nearby pub, about 8 of us, and had a few drinks and snacks. During that night, we sat at opposite ends of the group but still interacted, and exchanged phone numbers for salsa-contact. Ever since then, gradually, we've started becoming friends. At the next volunteer event (which bombed; it was supposed to be a youth group at an outdoor park but no kids came, so we just all went to the Mob's dance studio and danced there :P ) we also danced together and got a little closer, and I don't know, I just suddenly realized what a nice, fun guy he is.
Until recently, he was just one of Noam's friends to me. I'm still not sure exactly how close they are, but I know they live close to each other and were in school together, and they would go to the beach together and all sorts of stuff. But I don't think they're best friends or anything. Anyway, until a month ago, I didn't really pay that much attention to Ofir, and didn't dance with him either. But at Salsa Mob we're usually 10-20 people tops, so eventually I'll be dancing with him. And I've discovered that he's really good! He likes to do dips and lifts, and he does them well, so it's really fun :)
At the barbeque 2 weeks ago, we started getting physically close. I sat down on the grass and he suddenly popped up, sprawled down next to me, and put his head on my lap. We stayed like that for about an hour, that night. We also danced a bit together, and talked some.
Two days later was the 'End of Summer' party at the salsa club, and after that Ofir and I went to the beach together for the first time, at night. It was fun, and we said we'd do it again. The next week, we did, with 2 other salsa friends. The week after that (last thursday, after a party at the Mob's dance studio), we went again, with 3 friends this time. It's become almost a custom :)
However, that night I'd gotten my period, and also my sugar was very high so I was feeling sick. We broke up the beach party at 4AM and I practically fell asleep in the car on the way to his house where my car was parked. He walked me to my car and checked that I was okay before walking away, and even as I sat there in my car shaking with cold and crying because of my sugar and stomach cramps, he stood at his doorstep and didn't go inside until he'd seen me start to drive away. He was pretty worried about me, he even called me the next morning to see if I was alive...
We've been talking on FB and on the phone/text almost every single day. Just... silly, everyday stuff. We just really get each other. We went from hardly talking to being very good friends in a month. Now? He's all over me, and I'm all over him. Whenever we're in a group, he sits next to me most of the evening, and we're always touching and hugging/cuddling:
(blurry picture of me is blurry, but you get the idea: he's a hugger)
That was at bowling a week and a half ago... small scale. Last night I was actually in his lap:
Yeah... that's him peeking through the menu. I was in his lap half the night, and he had an arm around my waist or shoulder. We fed each other chips and I stole a few sips of his beer. At one point he took my hand in his and laced our fingers together. WTF?? No wonder people think we're a couple!!
And this was our second time seeing each other that day! We'd met up at an army benefits fair earlier that day, and spent 2 hours walking through the fair, checking out electronic gadgets, lazing around on huge lounge pillows, and eating popsicles. I came by train and he has a motorcycle ---- aka Bumblebee, like the Transofrmer! Isn't it cute? :D It's very recent -----
So anyway, I was walking from the fair back to the train station, and he rode the short way there just as I was walking by, almost as though he were watching over me to see if I got there safely :) After the train ride, I'd just gotten home and he called me, saying the Salsa Mob guys were getting together at a pub that evening, and I was coming. Not "are you coming?" but, "you're coming."
So, aside from being all over each other physically, in a very cozy friendly kind of way, we also joke a lot about sex. I love innuendos and so does he, and we joke about sex. With each other.
Okay, it's... I have next to no personal, physical experience with sex. He obviously does. He's 23 and a normal human being, meaning, he probably lost his virginity at 16 like any normal boy and I know he's had a few serious girlfriends. And he's self-admittedly shallow. He's said he looks at a girl first and won't look at her again if she's unattractive. He's probably had a dozen flings and he's not ashamed of it. He's declared that during the Salsa Festival (which is in Eilat in 1 week!!!!!) he intends to have as many flings as possible, and he's included me in that - I don't know, though, if he was serious or joking.
I've gone along with it so far, because it's fun to joke about that sort of stuff. We joke about having sex all the time, he and I. I'm not sure I would mind having sex with him. He sure sounds like he knows what he's doing, and I bet I'd have a good time.
But should I sleep with him? At any given time? It's quite possible that I'll be stopping by his place tomorrow night after salsa. He's getting the super-comfy pouffs/lounge pillows we tried out at the fair delivered tomorrow, and I said the moment he gets them I'm coming over to commandeer one. We joked that it would probably be cool to have sex on one of those. We just can't seem to stop... it'll be the first time I've been up to his room and I just ..... I don't know.
I just don't know how he feels about me, what I am to him. There are several possibilities:
1 - the platonic friend.
2 - the summer fling, possibly during the salsa festival.
3 - real girlfriend potential.
My options are the following:
1 - ask him now, and possibly ruin everything, whatever may happen.
2 - wait another week and see how things go until the festival. Maybe something will happen tomorrow night?
3 - wait until the festival itself. See if he tries to get me into bed during the festival. Maybe if he doesn't then it means he likes me more than as a fling?
4 - sleep with him at the festival and finally lose my virginity... maybe dancing and alcohol will be good for me.
5 - do nothing at the festival..... see how he acts during the festival. Wait until after and then ask him?
The thing is.... well, yes, I do sort of want a relationship with him. He's a great guy. He's fun and a great dancer and underneath the goofy, shallow exterior he's actually smart and a real gentleman.
But. He's a Salsa Guy. And I've been there before, and it didn't end well, and I got hurt. Noam broke me for two months, practically. I actually wonder that Ofir is hanging out with me as much as he is, and as closely as he is, knowing that Noam and I were together. Then again, last week he said, "We should stop talking about having a fling at the festival... you were with Noam after all. He's my friend, I can't do that." And two days later I mentioned in a conversation with a bunch of salsa friends that Noam and I didn't sleep together, and Ofir suddenly brightened: "Why didn't you say so sooner? That changes things!"
Ack. This guy has got me twisted into knots over him. And he knows I'm supposedly dating someone now - there was a successful first date last sunday but since then nothing has worked out. He's nice but, eh... Ofir is the only one on my mind right now. And he knows it. I mentioned to Ofir that I might be going out with him (the other guy) tonight and admitted that I'm not too into him and that we hadn't seen each other in over a week. Ofir said "Well of course. You've been hanging out with me! I bet you can't think of anyone else."
And the problem?
He is so right.
And this is where the 'fuck my life' tag comes in.