Plodding along... where has the past month gone???
So... some stuff has been going on. Not really in the mood to elaborate, but I'm home sick and kind of sick of my bed too, so what else am I gonna do. Art for my portfolio? Naaaah. I'm gonna laze around online. I've gone through FB, 9GAG, and LJ, also written an email to my mom, and so here I am.
I've got these weird-ass (and painful as all fuck) sores on my tongue and throat. They hurt like fuck and make everything - eating, talking, brushing my teeth! - hard. I'm living on tea, soup, yogurt, and occasionally some mashed potatoes. I bailed an hour early from work yesterday (I had the brains to drive to work in my car, rather than use the company's bus rides) and saw the doctor this morning - really there's nothing much to do but gargle salt-water (or even worse, water with lemon! O_O ) but I know it's going to hurt like fuck and also possibly make me throw up (it nearly happened when I gargled salt-water after having my wisdom tooth taken out >< ) so, uh, no.
Despite having these sores since last week, I've still been up and running until today. On Thursday night, after the evening shift, I went out to play pool with Ron, Karen and her girlfriend Laura. It was pretty fun, we played two (very long, bumbling) games, first Karen and me against Ron and Laura. At first it looked like they were going to kick our asses, mainly because Karen sucks, but after a while I took charge of the game and we nearly won. But Laura's pretty damn good, the next game I played with her against Ron and Karen and thanks to her we kicked their asses. So basically, Laura kicked everyone's asses! XD
On Friday night I was a real drama queen, but from my POV, totally justified in it. We wanted to go out, a bunch of friends. Me, Ron, Ofir, his girlfriend, and two more guys from Salsa Mob. I said sure, tell me when and where and I'll be there - but only if you reserve places somewhere, because last week we spent an hour driving to 3 different pubs in search of a place that's kitchen was working and that had room indoors. It was hell and I'm the only one who pays for her own gas between us - the others usually take their parents' cars, so they're sort of unaware of how expensive it is to drive around aimlessly. I got really cranky that time last week, and I got really cranky this time too.
Initially, Ron hadn't wanted to go out/meet up at all. He was in a weird mood and said he didn't want to talk about it, but then suddenly he said he was at a birthday party and could I come bail him out and go somewhere with Ofir and Inbal instead. So wtf? In the end he admitted that he didn't really want to go out, but he just couldn't bear to stay at home. So, fine. I came, picked him up, and we got a table at one place but it wasn't so great. So Ron went to check out the next cafe, which we all know and like, came back to the first place, and said "They've got room."
What he hadn't thought to check was if they were even open! It's a cafe, not a pub, and it was 12:45 at night... not exactly the time cafes are still open and running, in fact they were empty because they were closing.
I turned on my heel and walked away. I said to Ron, "I'm getting in my car now. It's up to you if you get in too, and if we go to your place, or to mine. But I'm getting into my car and driving away from here."
It was dramatic, yes, but it got the point across. And he did follow me, coax me out of the car, and calm me down. I sort of broke down before calming down, but Ron's seen me like this once before already so he wasn't too upset. He also agrees with me on most of what I said - that it's hard to be spontaneous and that it sucks to spend an hour and gas money looking for a pub, and to have other people disregard your advice and requests. Eventually I calmed down enough to come and sit at the first place we'd been, and pretend to have a good time. Ron now knows I'm a very good actor, since he said that up until today, I'd fooled him pretty well about being hip and spontaneous and fun.
Feh. Shows how well he really knows me. At least I'm a good actress. It's about the first complement he's ever paid me, which frankly I've been too cowardly to address - he never complements me. He once commented on my outfit, saying, "Wow" about the whole 'look' - the clothes, the hair, the make-up - but generally, he never says "you look nice tonight" or "you're so sexy" or "I like how you do your hair"
I know it's a bad thing to do, but I can't help but compare it to Ori, who complemented me at every turn: "I love that you're growing your hair out, it looks really great" ; "you have such soft skin" ; "you smell so good". I think Ron does feel and think these things, but he never says them out loud. He once did say he liked my perfume, and I've taken care to wear it every single time we go out since then, but no banana. He tells me I'm hot but he means that literally: we're in bed and his hands are cold so he puts them against my stomach/breasts/back to warm them up. Which is annoying (/cold/painful) enough in itself, without it being a backhand complement.
*sigh*
I almost told him this last night. We were at the mall in his town, he's been wanting/needing new clothes for months now and I volunteered to come with him and help him out. What a flashback to that time right before we became a couple :P The thing is, we went through all the stores, and found several things he liked, and at discount prices too! - but he didn't buy a thing. *I* ended up buying a new faux-leather jacket, while he only tried things on. Seriously, what guy does this? Most guys go for the first pair of jeans that fit and aren't hugely expensive. But not this guy - he has to check out all the options first. Weird. I even shop more like a guy that he does - I see, I like, I buy! (Actually it's more like 'I see, I like, I try on, I still like, I calculate cost and if I have enough money, and then I buy :P But whatever)
So while I was trying on the new black faux-leather jacket, he said it was sexy - but he meant the jacket made it sexy. And then I flipped my hair out of my face, saying, "Gah, my hair's a mess today." And he said - "Why? For once it's nice. I like the messy curls."
And is that a backhand complement or what? God. So I nearly said something, but I bailed out. I know he's not the sentimental type, he's more a man of action than of words. Sometimes the look in his eyes when we're dancing, the way he looks at my ass in the mirror when my hips sway - sometimes that's enough for me to know he thinks I'm sexy. But sexy is passionate - I want him to say I'm pretty. Can I help it? I'm a girl. I want to be told I'm beautiful. Even when he said he thought I was out of his league and that I was settling for less by being with him - even that is a backhand complement. I need him to pay me an honest complement. Is it so hard for a guy to tell his girlfriend "You look nice tonight" ? Or "That dress is really pretty on you" ?? God.
He also had a chance on December 31 - we went to a Sylvester party at - gasp! - a non-smoking party/club!!! With Ofir and Inbal. It was in Tel-Aviv and we somehow found free parking close by, the entrance price wasn't sky-high, and the drinks were only slightly expensive. The place had levels, and we found the highest balcony deserted, with a table and couches and a great view of the party and of the DJ's box. It was fucking awesome and with no smoke, we could actually breathe!!!
I was wearing white jeans (which frankly, I find are one of the hottest thing a girl can wear, if they fit right and show off her ass. Mine do ;) ) and a black top with a tiny little black vest over it. I'd meant to wear my black fedora too, but I forgottttt :( Still, I looked hot, and he said nothing. Inbal said the vest was cute, and my boyfriend says nothing. Gah. Still, we got a nice photo:
and we had a good time dancing. Unfortunately, the next day was Sunday, so he had to go to work. I was lucky smart enough to secure an evening shift for Sunday, so I just went home and back to bed, haha :P Ron hated me for that.
Frankly, he says he hates me very often. Every time I say something clever a second before he wanted to say it, every time I prove him wrong, every time he has work the next day and I don't... he says it with affection, of course, and it's cute, so I don't mind. But at the same time, I'd like a real, honest, non-sarcastic, no-false-intentions complement from him. I think it's time I told him as much.
Work is going fine, except for the fact that I've been told a very straightforward 'NO' when I asked for 3 days of vacation in February for Venice. However, my manager is willing to work with me, and if I can get 3 people to take over my shifts (and pay them back later/before, of course) then it should be okay. The only problem is we'll have to wing it the week before..... yikes. Wish me luck :(