Fuck my life. With a capital F, please.
Fuck my life. Seriously, please, will someone come in and fuck my goddamn fucking fucked-up life.
My car died today. Not sure if it's permanent - it just wouldn't start. I was supposed to have a meeting with one of the teachers at the studio, so I drove to work instead of using the company's bus rides. And so I'm out in the parking lot, and the car just won't fucking start! I called my dad and we tried a few things; nothing worked, so we called the insurance company. Now I'd like to mention (although, let's be honest, no-one is reading this) that my father mentioned a certain insurance company, and I said that in my car's licence-registration-papers-etc. there was the flyer of a different company. He insisted, so I called the company he said. Big surprise: I'm not in any of their policies! Yay Dad *facepalm*
So I hitched a ride halfway home (I'm fucking lucky, at least, that the call-center is located pretty close to my hometown, and that someone was going my way, rather than pay for a cab) and then took a bus (which I nearly fucking missed, I had to sprint about a 200 yards and scream to people at the bus-stop to ask the driver to wait for me) home. Then my dad calls and says, whoops, you really are insured at a different company. Yay Dad. So I called them and we settled that they'll send a mechanic to my work tomorrow morning, I'll meet him there and then just... well, we'll go from there. I've informed my manager and she's okay with it - I just wonder what'll happen if I have to go to the garage right then and there.... gah.
So I had to cancel, last-minute, for the second time in a month, on the studio lesson. The previous time I was ill, and now this. I did talk to the teacher on the phone, and shared with her my complete and utter lack of will to work on my portfolio - she was actually very accepting of it, she said a lot of people push it back a year and then take their time building their portfolio. I was hoping for this. I was also very scared of what my parents might say - I've been considering this for the past two months but been too scared to actually fucking do anything.
I talked about it with Ron and then with Reut. Ron is supportive of holding off for a year, mostly because he's somewhere in the same place as me - working and undecided on his future education - and also possibly because he's seen me break down and cry with the stress over this. Reut, on the other hand (and who of course knows me 10 times better than he does) thinks I'm giving up too easily. She knows that if I give myself a year, then I might loose track entirely. She said I should at least try, this coming month, but nothing is forthcoming. I have no muse, no inspiration, and frankly no wish to work on art. What's really interesting is that when I mentioned this (vaguely, in passing) to my parents, they didn't take it so hard. My mom actually asked if the studio would allow it. And well, it turns out that they do... so... maybe today I'll bring it up more seriously, and see what they say.
Until then, I'm going to focus on work. I have a 4+1 program now, meaning I work 4 shifts one week, 5 shifts the next, alternating. Also, short shifts. Maybe I'll move up to a permanent 5 per week, and also work longer hours. Save up money, which isn't a bad idea at all. I won't have the time or energy to work during my first year of a degree (I know myself) so saving up before might be smart. This way I'll have a year+ to slowly work up to a good portfolio, instead of cramming the next 3 months and dealing with entrance exams as well. Yeesh.
So far work is so-so. I was summoned to my manager's office and told I had a low rate of calls (4.8 calls per hour, when we're supposed to be at around 8 per hour within 3 months of starting work) and also not enough subscriptions. By the end of the day, I was at 6.3 calls per hour, which is much better, but she's setting me a bar of 7.5 by the end of the month. It shows she has faith in me, but also high demands. I hope I can cut it, because fuck me, if I loose this job I really will have a nervous breakdown.
Also making me nervous is the trip to Venice with Ron. He's checking with his family's travel agent one last time today (she's not been picking up) and if there's no good deal there, we're taking the once we saw online. 3 guys at work have agreed to cover shifts for me, and I'll pay them back sometime before/after by taking shifts for them. I just want to book the deal now, as soon as possible, or I fear there won't be any rooms left in the hotel we want! It's only a month away! A month and a week!! :(
Also coming up next week is Ron's birthday, on the 17th. I'm hoping to take him to a World Press photography exhibition at the Israel Museum in Tel-Aviv, we'll see if it works out with Salsa and his work and everything else :) I'm also buying him a book of b&w nature photographs and Hebrew love songs, I think he'll like it. Nowadays he photographs mostly people, at the salsa
clubs and at parties, weddings, etc., but I know he's into still life and nature as well, and I know he's into poetry, or at least he once tried to write some :P So I think he'll like the book. He's planning - maybe - it all depends on how well (i.e., not bad) things go with his parents (who I think are out to get him, they've denied him the car - actually given it to his sister - and they're always putting him down and nothing he does is good enough) - a party next Friday, with a Jim Carrey (his hero) movie marathon. I'll probably sleep over, and shhh, don't tell - I'm gonna do a sexy librarian theme for him, I've got it all planned out: pencil-skirt, ruffled white blouse, glasses, hair pulled up - I'm going to give him the book and say he's been a bad boy, whatever, I think it'll turn him on like WHOA.
... hee hee :)
My car died today. Not sure if it's permanent - it just wouldn't start. I was supposed to have a meeting with one of the teachers at the studio, so I drove to work instead of using the company's bus rides. And so I'm out in the parking lot, and the car just won't fucking start! I called my dad and we tried a few things; nothing worked, so we called the insurance company. Now I'd like to mention (although, let's be honest, no-one is reading this) that my father mentioned a certain insurance company, and I said that in my car's licence-registration-papers-etc. there was the flyer of a different company. He insisted, so I called the company he said. Big surprise: I'm not in any of their policies! Yay Dad *facepalm*
So I hitched a ride halfway home (I'm fucking lucky, at least, that the call-center is located pretty close to my hometown, and that someone was going my way, rather than pay for a cab) and then took a bus (which I nearly fucking missed, I had to sprint about a 200 yards and scream to people at the bus-stop to ask the driver to wait for me) home. Then my dad calls and says, whoops, you really are insured at a different company. Yay Dad. So I called them and we settled that they'll send a mechanic to my work tomorrow morning, I'll meet him there and then just... well, we'll go from there. I've informed my manager and she's okay with it - I just wonder what'll happen if I have to go to the garage right then and there.... gah.
So I had to cancel, last-minute, for the second time in a month, on the studio lesson. The previous time I was ill, and now this. I did talk to the teacher on the phone, and shared with her my complete and utter lack of will to work on my portfolio - she was actually very accepting of it, she said a lot of people push it back a year and then take their time building their portfolio. I was hoping for this. I was also very scared of what my parents might say - I've been considering this for the past two months but been too scared to actually fucking do anything.
I talked about it with Ron and then with Reut. Ron is supportive of holding off for a year, mostly because he's somewhere in the same place as me - working and undecided on his future education - and also possibly because he's seen me break down and cry with the stress over this. Reut, on the other hand (and who of course knows me 10 times better than he does) thinks I'm giving up too easily. She knows that if I give myself a year, then I might loose track entirely. She said I should at least try, this coming month, but nothing is forthcoming. I have no muse, no inspiration, and frankly no wish to work on art. What's really interesting is that when I mentioned this (vaguely, in passing) to my parents, they didn't take it so hard. My mom actually asked if the studio would allow it. And well, it turns out that they do... so... maybe today I'll bring it up more seriously, and see what they say.
Until then, I'm going to focus on work. I have a 4+1 program now, meaning I work 4 shifts one week, 5 shifts the next, alternating. Also, short shifts. Maybe I'll move up to a permanent 5 per week, and also work longer hours. Save up money, which isn't a bad idea at all. I won't have the time or energy to work during my first year of a degree (I know myself) so saving up before might be smart. This way I'll have a year+ to slowly work up to a good portfolio, instead of cramming the next 3 months and dealing with entrance exams as well. Yeesh.
So far work is so-so. I was summoned to my manager's office and told I had a low rate of calls (4.8 calls per hour, when we're supposed to be at around 8 per hour within 3 months of starting work) and also not enough subscriptions. By the end of the day, I was at 6.3 calls per hour, which is much better, but she's setting me a bar of 7.5 by the end of the month. It shows she has faith in me, but also high demands. I hope I can cut it, because fuck me, if I loose this job I really will have a nervous breakdown.
Also making me nervous is the trip to Venice with Ron. He's checking with his family's travel agent one last time today (she's not been picking up) and if there's no good deal there, we're taking the once we saw online. 3 guys at work have agreed to cover shifts for me, and I'll pay them back sometime before/after by taking shifts for them. I just want to book the deal now, as soon as possible, or I fear there won't be any rooms left in the hotel we want! It's only a month away! A month and a week!! :(
Also coming up next week is Ron's birthday, on the 17th. I'm hoping to take him to a World Press photography exhibition at the Israel Museum in Tel-Aviv, we'll see if it works out with Salsa and his work and everything else :) I'm also buying him a book of b&w nature photographs and Hebrew love songs, I think he'll like it. Nowadays he photographs mostly people, at the salsa
clubs and at parties, weddings, etc., but I know he's into still life and nature as well, and I know he's into poetry, or at least he once tried to write some :P So I think he'll like the book. He's planning - maybe - it all depends on how well (i.e., not bad) things go with his parents (who I think are out to get him, they've denied him the car - actually given it to his sister - and they're always putting him down and nothing he does is good enough) - a party next Friday, with a Jim Carrey (his hero) movie marathon. I'll probably sleep over, and shhh, don't tell - I'm gonna do a sexy librarian theme for him, I've got it all planned out: pencil-skirt, ruffled white blouse, glasses, hair pulled up - I'm going to give him the book and say he's been a bad boy, whatever, I think it'll turn him on like WHOA.
... hee hee :)