I'm stuck.
I don't want to go to salsa, even though I have a pre-paid card that I really should use because it's only good until the 15th. Since I haven't been dancing much lately I've gained weight, and I'm not very happy with my body again, after one good year of high self-esteem.
I've lost all interest in school, in my art prep-program, I even thought of going back to writing but I haven't got the motivation to look into it.
I don't have a boyfriend anymore, Ron and I had one explosive conversation on FB that turned into an argument and ended badly.
I don't have any regular friends, never mind an actual best friend, since H is in America and hasn't even bothered to email in over two months. So no-one to support me during this crappy time.
I just found out last night that one of the girls with whom I was supposed to share a room at the salsa festival in September bailed on me and got a room with some other girls - so now, after having convinced two girls to sign up with us even though they were short on money, now, we have to find someone else. If I hadn't convinced those other two girls then I might have bailed on the festival myself as well.
Buffy is still at the animal hospital after a full week, they had to insert a feeding tube in the end because she refused to eat (she has an infection in her pancreas, which causes nausea, which killed her appetite) and then it got infected (pretty rare, so of course it had to happen to her!) so they had to take it out. Currently she's still a little feverish but at least she's eaten solid food a few times, we hope to get her home tomorrow afternoon.
Currently the only thing going for me is work. Our new team manager (who used to be a shift manager) is really sweet and I like her a lot. She said a lot of the managers love me and have faith in me and are impressed with me, including the manager of the senior representatives (they sit up on a raised platform and help us normal phone reps when we need advice with clients) and even the manager of the entire call center has taken an interest in me. They want me to join the senior reps team, which means a lot more knowledge and responsibility, and also more work-hours and better pay. Of course I have to learn a lot before that, so now I'm entering a training program. I'm not even sure I want to be a senior rep - really I'm not in the mood fore more responsibility right now. But it's at least very flattering that everyone thinks so well of me.
My last paycheck was pretty crazy - last month's too - and I know I haven't been working overtime so that means crazy bonuses. Last month's bonus (meaning, June bonus which came with July's work hours) was over 500NIS, and so was the month's before it. So... at least I have money.
Also something strange-but-good: less salsa means less exercise means goodbye 2011's bangin' bod. So whenever I tried on bathing suits, I'd leave the store pretty disgusted with myself. It's not like I gained 10 pounds or anything, but I haven't been feeling as comfortable with my body as I did last year. And then, lo and behold, at an accessories store (wtf is up with that? There are clothes and bathing suits in accessories stores, shoes in clothing stores, jewelry in shoe stores... ) I got a dirt-cheap bathing suit (without even trying it on) and I love the way I look in it. Weird. But at least something made me feel good this last week. Gah.