[δεκαπέντε]

[winewomenand]

[ audio post ]

[ for a few seconds, there is a clop-clop noise, before a growl of frustration. ]

This is starting to get very tired very quickly. Most importantly, this isn't my lot in life. I'm the practiced beguiler. Never the straight man. Such a thing is clearly and emphatically not the way of any sane universe.

[ more rustling and bright,

Comments

[justashow]

It speaks?

[justashow]

I am royalty. My family has ruled for six generations. And it will rule for a seventh if my father has his way.

Hidden inside of what?

[winewomenand]

Yes, yes, of course it has. I'll remember to get you a nice crown tomorrow as a token of my appreciation of the severity and solemnity of your future monarch-hood.

Hidden inside of my abdomen, you dullard.

[justashow]

I didn't say my father was going to get his way.

...In your stomach. You keep your private parts in your stomach.

[winewomenand]

Yes, I'm sure your father won't, you great ass.

Apparently. And lucky that the legend isn't being played straight, Zeus help me, or I would be no less than permanently visibly aroused. Not that I'm ashamed, only that it would be ridiculously uncomfortable.

Pervert.

[justashow]

You're the only giant ass around here. Half a one. Just what are supposed to be?

And I'm no such thing. You're the one being disgusting.

[winewomenand]

A faun. Because someone around here who isn't me has a sick sense of humor. And if I hear one single word out of anyone about this by tomorrow, it's their neck.

I am not being disgusting. I'm stating various patently obvious pieces of fact.

[justashow]

You were cursed by a witch?

[winewomenand]

Yes. Sure. I was cursed by a witch with the legs of a goat, why not.

[justashow]

How horrible for you. Is there no wizard who might change you back?

[winewomenand]

Terrible. This can be fun too, in certain situations. This isn't one of them. I don't enjoy my adonis-like form being tampered with without my permission. It sullies my inherent perfection.

Although I will say I am no less handsome this way. Still a catch.

[justashow]

I suppose that all depends on what they're hunting you for.

[winewomenand]

Wild animal sex would be my first suggestion.

[justashow]

Illegal in every kingdom I've ever heard of.

[winewomenand]

What are you going to do? Tie me up? Because I could work with that.

[justashow]

Princes do not tie up criminals. That's for the Royal Guard to do.