One Shot Sam´s thoughts [Spoiler 5.22]
I wrote a short one shot last night.
About the thoughts Sam has, before he says Dean that he is going to say yes to Lucifer.
thanks to my lovely beta ellethdartagnan <3
You just can´t walk away from the damage
Sam was sitting on his bed in that cheap old motel. He had to ponder over so much things.
His and Deans past, the present, the apocalypse, Lucifer, the whole angel thing. Just everything.
And it all lays on his shoulders.
If he said yes to Lucifer the world would come to an end. At least the world they knew.
Everything would collapse in fear, death, violence. Hell on earth.
But if he didn´t say yes to him, how long could he resist and defy the strength of his inner demons?
And maybe he was strong enough to defeat Lucifer. Was that such a bad idea?
Bobby had been able to fight against a demon while he was possessed.
And his fatherly friend was just an ordinary human.
Could it be that hard? Sure, when Meg possessed him, he couldn´t stem against her.
At that time he was too weak. Didn´t know anything about his powers.
But now he could be strong enough.
Ruby showed him a way to get really strong. He had even been able to kill Alastair and Lilith.
Not just with his own strength, but he did it. And if he had to pay that price to kill Lucifer or at least send him back to his hell cage, he would do it. Dean had to understand that. It was for the greater good.
Even if he hated the blood drinking, it made him feeling strong.
As if he was able to kill any evil thing in the world, the universe.
Now he felt just weak, vulnerable and useless. Without this heat in his veins it was really hard for him to survive the day.
He was an demonblood addict, and he knew it. The second rehab in Bobby’s panic room hadn’t been really effective. He felt better, sure.
But the main problem was still there. Hanging between his brother and him.
They were closer than a few months ago, but still not the old kick ass demonhunter duo. They would probably never be again.
Too much happened in the past. The four month when Dean was in hell. He met Ruby, again.
Trusted her, and fell for her. Sometimes he thought that he could actually love her.
The blood drinking thing was not that bad in the beginning. He was stronger and could kill the demons.
The lying, alienation from his big brother and the working for Lucifer was too much.
Ruby´s death was the only divine justice he could think about.
They had fought against the four horsemen. War, Famine, Pestilence and even Death.
But Death was not the one they expected him to be. He had even been cooperative and had given Dean the last ring they needed to open the door to Lucifer´s hell-cage.
But how to get Lucifer in? That was the big question.
Dean wasn´t able to say yes to Michael. Because Adam was, accidentally, his vessel now.
So, was the only way to get him in there, Sam had to say yes to Lucifer.
The one who had killed one of the very rare angels you could have put your trust in.
Cas was one of them. And Gabriel the other one. He had saved them, when they were in danger at the convention of the Gods.
And that´s where he had lost his life. Killed by his own brother.
So the big brother killed the little brother, like Dean was supposed to kill Sam.
But he died the death of a hero. And Gabriel was the one who had told the brothers how to open the hell-cage.
Now he had to tell Dean his decision. That he was going to say yes to Lucifer to defeat him.
That was Sam´s final decision. He got up and left the motel room.
Dean and Cas were already waiting for him outside.
About the thoughts Sam has, before he says Dean that he is going to say yes to Lucifer.
thanks to my lovely beta ellethdartagnan <3
You just can´t walk away from the damage
Sam was sitting on his bed in that cheap old motel. He had to ponder over so much things.
His and Deans past, the present, the apocalypse, Lucifer, the whole angel thing. Just everything.
And it all lays on his shoulders.
If he said yes to Lucifer the world would come to an end. At least the world they knew.
Everything would collapse in fear, death, violence. Hell on earth.
But if he didn´t say yes to him, how long could he resist and defy the strength of his inner demons?
And maybe he was strong enough to defeat Lucifer. Was that such a bad idea?
Bobby had been able to fight against a demon while he was possessed.
And his fatherly friend was just an ordinary human.
Could it be that hard? Sure, when Meg possessed him, he couldn´t stem against her.
At that time he was too weak. Didn´t know anything about his powers.
But now he could be strong enough.
Ruby showed him a way to get really strong. He had even been able to kill Alastair and Lilith.
Not just with his own strength, but he did it. And if he had to pay that price to kill Lucifer or at least send him back to his hell cage, he would do it. Dean had to understand that. It was for the greater good.
Even if he hated the blood drinking, it made him feeling strong.
As if he was able to kill any evil thing in the world, the universe.
Now he felt just weak, vulnerable and useless. Without this heat in his veins it was really hard for him to survive the day.
He was an demonblood addict, and he knew it. The second rehab in Bobby’s panic room hadn’t been really effective. He felt better, sure.
But the main problem was still there. Hanging between his brother and him.
They were closer than a few months ago, but still not the old kick ass demonhunter duo. They would probably never be again.
Too much happened in the past. The four month when Dean was in hell. He met Ruby, again.
Trusted her, and fell for her. Sometimes he thought that he could actually love her.
The blood drinking thing was not that bad in the beginning. He was stronger and could kill the demons.
The lying, alienation from his big brother and the working for Lucifer was too much.
Ruby´s death was the only divine justice he could think about.
They had fought against the four horsemen. War, Famine, Pestilence and even Death.
But Death was not the one they expected him to be. He had even been cooperative and had given Dean the last ring they needed to open the door to Lucifer´s hell-cage.
But how to get Lucifer in? That was the big question.
Dean wasn´t able to say yes to Michael. Because Adam was, accidentally, his vessel now.
So, was the only way to get him in there, Sam had to say yes to Lucifer.
The one who had killed one of the very rare angels you could have put your trust in.
Cas was one of them. And Gabriel the other one. He had saved them, when they were in danger at the convention of the Gods.
And that´s where he had lost his life. Killed by his own brother.
So the big brother killed the little brother, like Dean was supposed to kill Sam.
But he died the death of a hero. And Gabriel was the one who had told the brothers how to open the hell-cage.
Now he had to tell Dean his decision. That he was going to say yes to Lucifer to defeat him.
That was Sam´s final decision. He got up and left the motel room.
Dean and Cas were already waiting for him outside.