Fanfic (Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's): Loose Ends (by karnimolly)

[winhall]

Title: Loose Ends
Character(s): Divine
Rating: R? PG-something?
Disclaimer: I don't own 5D's and neither does karnimolly.
Summary: Divine's last thoughts during the moments before his death.
Author's comment: karnimolly wrote this fic after watching episode 61, disappointed by the lack of backstory Divine was given. So she created one for him based on his bahavior and her thoughts concerning his hatred towards normal, weak people.
Translator's comment: The original language is German. I've been wanting to translate the fic for a while now to make it availabl eto a broader audience, hoping against hope that people will be interested. I'm not sure I did it justice, seeing how I'm not an experienced translator; my own style might have influenced the outcome more than it should. If you understand German and are interested in the original, just ask karnimolly or me and we'll gladly provide you with a link. XD


He had often thought about if and how death would find him. This possibility however hadn't occurred to him. It never would have. It might even have amused him, had it not been his own passing that was concerned. He'd lost his footing, couldn't move a muscle, there was nothing but blackness before him when he realized it.

This was the end.

And for one moment the whole world seemed to stand still. Complete silence lay over his ears, the scene froze and his vision turned all the way inside. They said that in the moment of your death you saw your life flashing in front of your inner eye like a movie. But nothing like that happened.

He opened his eyes.

He felt nothing, heard nothing, saw nothing.

Then, pictures. Everywhere. Numerous, promiscuous pictures in a mindless order. Trees, a window, snow...

He felt like his skull had to burst, and still he couldn't even stir until the whole scene suddenly stopped. And all of a sudden, as if he'd been conjured, there was a boy. Fifteen at best, but he looked older. His eyes seemed older. His features looked grim and haggard. His rusty brown hair was scrubby, the dark green eyes blood-shot.
And still he smiled.

"Divine.", he greeted friendly.
The addressed swallowed barely noticeably.
"You don't need to be afraid. You're not dead. Not yet-". The boy remarked without a hint of joy. He himself seemed to be sad at what he had just said.
"Who are you? What do you want?", Divine asked outright.

But the boy just smiled absent-mindedly, made a step toward him and took him by the hand. "You don't know your way around. I'll show you the way."
"Where to?", the older tried in vain to be impatient, but an unbelievable calm had taken possession of him just when the boy had taken his hand.
"Don't think about the 'whereto'", the boy asked. "Enjoy the way as long as you can. It's everything that's left to you."
Before Divine could ask any more questions the boy turned around and walked ahead of him. Even though he couldn't say with certainty whether the boy just turned toward or away from him. Everything around him was as random and haphazardly as abrupt thoughts, impossible to process or comprehend. The surroundings blurred. As if someone had thrown a stone into a pond, distorting the surface in regular lines.

As the waves receded everything Divine felt dizzy. Sensation was back, everything felt clear as glass.
He saw his own reflection in a pane of glass in front of him, and a room behind it. In that room lay, on a stretcher, a fragile little brown haired boy.
„Toby", Divine murmured when he recognized him.
"You remember him.", his young companion remarked.
"Why did you take me here?", Divine replied, "Am I supposed to repent for my deeds before I die?", he gave a soft disdainful laugh. "My subconsciousness must be more confused than I feared."
Then he looked around. Everything was exactly as it had been that day. He stood at the control panel of the stimulus deck, right at the center of the Arcadia Movement's main building. People were rushing about around the consoles, one of his subordinates waited for further directions.

Divine ordered them to increase the voltage running through the boy's body.
"But Sir! The boy can't take much more!", the other replied.
"Then I don't need him. If he's that weak he's not worth my time.", he heard himself say.
Both Divine and the boy next to him observed apathetically as Toby, screaming and shaken by seizures, died a miserable, pathetic death.

The scene blurred once again. Divine snorted, amused. "What's this supposed to accomplish?"
"What's what supposed to accomplish?", the younger one asked, slightly confused.
"Why are you showing me this? Do you want me to feel sorry? Or ashamed, because I had that worthless little bastard killed?", he laughed yet again, louder this time.
The boy looked at him, devoid of expression. Again, their surroundings distorted, and again there was a crying child. Divine had to smile. "What is this about? What do you want with me?"

And another.

Another.

All the children he'd had tested. That he had experimented on. Children with special powers, some more, some less. He saw them in increasingly fast succession, their screams ringing through the empty room that the images seemed to fly through, the noise becoming louder and shriller, reeling and spinning around Divine and his younger counterpart. But even though the screams of dozens of children were sweeping over them as deafeningly noisy as a tornado, Divine kept a perfectly straight face.

Silence.

Bone-crushing and louder than any scream. The boy looked at him, neither accusing nor angry.
"Listen", Divine finally began, "These are the last nanosceonds of my life. I'd like to spent them on a bit more interesting thoughts than these.", he approached the smaller one. "Come on, there has to be something more worth mentioning in my life than this."
"It's not up to me what you think about.", the boy answered indifferently. "Apparently you well remember these children.", he added.
Divine cast him a short assessing glance, then shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever. I had assumed I'd forgotten all about them.", he smiled down at the boy, "They never took up much of my thoughts."
"Then why did you remember ordering that boy's death in such detail?", his counterpart asked.

Slightly puzzled Divine raised an eye brow. "How would I know? Probably because he was the reason for my death in a few moments. Anyway, let's not talk about that anymore, I don't want to think of that yet.", he stopped for a moment to think, "Say, the way you told me about before... do I have power over it?"
The little one nodded. "A little, yes. But you have to consider that this, everything, it's taking place in your head at an incredible velocity, so you have no precise control.", he tilted his head, "So, after just watching you torture all these children to death... what direction do you want to turn to next?"
But Divine was already moving on. "A more enjoyable one, please.", he mumbled, more to himself than anyone else.

The way passed by a myriad of trivialities, things he had seen, taken notice of, thought and rejected. A pencil rolling from a book, his reflection in the eyes of another who's name he'd forgotten, a girl rushing through the night surrounded by broken pieces of glass... ('Whatever might have become of her...?', he wondered incidentally), a card being placed on the graveyard during a duel, and, again and again, the sweet scent of roses from untamable red hair.
He delved into that thought.

Soft, warm, pale skin, delicate ankles.

Small hands, a long, slim neck.

Hot, airy breath from perfect lips.

This round, heart shaped face with its huge, almond shaped deep brown eyes.

And psychic powers, strong beyond imagination. Devastating attacks full of hate and pain. The most fervid force hehad ever experienced, his own being the only exception.

"Aki", Divine whispered with a smile and followed each and every one of her movements, be they ever so small, that he remembered. "She was perfect."
He watched Aki who, in his thoughts, lay before him. "I made her perfect.", he laughed softly, "Damn it, her and me, we could have conquered the world." He saw himself caressing her neck with his gloved fingers. He clenched his teeth harder.
He couldn't see the boy, but he knew he wasn't far away, observing him closely. Divine lingered by this memory for a moment. "She's my loyal servant.", he said into the room and at the same time heard himself tell Yusei, "Aki belongs to me."
He felt his strength fading. He cast a last glance at the first embrace he had given her, then turned his back.

There the boy stood, already waiting next to a number of new thoughts. But first he seemed to demand an explanation. He didn't give him one. Didn't have one.

Aki was Aki.

His creation.

His possession.

His perfection.

His servant, yes, his slave even, if he wanted it.

His hope.

His hope for freedom.

He closed that door immediately, concentrating on all that his young companion showed him. He didn't have time for unnecessary memories.
"They aren't.", said the boy. He could hear what Divine thought, of course, after all the thoughts resounded through his memories loud and clear as a church's bell. "You know they are.", Divine insisted and pushed open the next door.

A heartbeat later he fervently wished he'd left it closed.
White hot pain flashed through him, bereaving him of all reason. He heard voices, felt cold metal against his skin. And fear. Indescribable fear.
He heard his own voice. Blind with pain and terror he tried to flee the bonds that held him down, but he couldn't move at all. He wanted it to stop. He wanted to pass out, wanted to die, wanted it to stop. The pain receded. Only a low sizzling noise filled the air. And an unbearable high pitched tone in his ears. The light blinded him. His eyes hurt as if he hadn't seen light in a long time. He could make out the shadowy forms of people standing around him.

"How did he react?", a female voice asked.
"It's incredible to think he actually survived that!", another one shouted.
"How high was the voltage?"
"Over 5000, professor."
They were so loud, so annoying, they should all just go away...
Hands touched him, sampled him like an object, pulling his head here and there. Breathing became difficult. It was as if his lung had been rinsed with salt acid and his mouth with water from the sewers. He coughed weakly.
"The generator's burnt-out!", he heard someone say.
"How do you explain that?"
"I have no idea.", the voices grew lower. "But to be perfectly honest, I'd prefer to get rid of this monster."

Silence.

"Shouldn't we find out more about him first?", another added to that.
Someone dragged Divine off the stretcher on which he'd been lying the whole time, off it and away. Two men, one on each of his arms. Divine didn't manage more than a hoarse moan. The men pushed him past a door that clunked shut with a heavy sound. Quickly withdrawing steps on the other side.
The light went out. Again fear rose within Divine, downright panic. He pressed his back against the ice-cold wall.

He distanced himself from that memory in haste. Breathing heavily he stood a step away from it and beheld it, horrified. "Where did that come from!?", he gasped.
"You haven't forgotten.", the boy answered, "You can't forget it. Even if you wanted."
"Of course I can!", Divine almost screamed now. He was pulled back into the memory. The darkness around him formed images, claws, eyes, teeth. Almost impossible to make out within the blackness, changing and transforming constantly, like the shadow thrown by the leafs of a tree in the wind.
"Make it stop!", he yelled at the boy, "Get me out of here!"
He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his hands over his ears, but the claws slid over his naked skin, and he heard the thundering rumble of monsters everywhere.

Then the boy took his hand once more. At once he was outside that particular thought again, watched it shivering and breathing heavily. His younger self slumped down against the wall and stayed there, lying down and trembling. He could make out his face and it looked just like that of his young companion. Divine stared at him and the boy looked back. "I don't want to see that!", Divine growled.
"You can go if you want. But you know what awaits you.", the little one that looked just like Divine replied. He still held his hand. "Stay a little longer.", he asked, "I know it isn't pretty, but it..."
"Yes, I know.", Divine cut in, "It is all that's left to us."
"Then don't be so hasty. Or do you want to reach the end so badly?"

He had been about to turn toward the next thought, but he stopped in his tracks. Paused for a moment like that, then let his head sink. Finally he looked back at the quivering boy, who was pale with fear and cold. He turned completely and sat down next to him. After a while he put a hand on the trembling shoulder. Hours might have gone by within that thought, and he surveyed every single minute.
He remembered every detail about this room. His eyes found the deep scratches all over the concrete walls, the steel door was tattered and dented from the inside as if it were made from rubber. Cuts that made you think of long talons covered the floor and the thick, bullet-proof glass that made up the tiny window, that only let in a weak gray light even during the day, was splintered.

Divine watched all that and the peaky boy, that was the cause of all the damage. Until the heavy door was pushed open and yet again he was grabbed unkindly and pulled away. He was bound to the very same stretcher once more, metal joints snapping shut over him, but his younger self seemed to have no interest in fighting back. It just stared at the tiled ceiling, a dull expression on his face, while people in white lab coats stood around him.
"For the record, we will further increase the voltage today. Thereby, I hope to gain a deeper understanding of his psycho-kinetic powers."
"But professor, do you really think...", someone interjected.

Divine didn't look at them at all. He already knew what was about to happen.
"If he survives we can continue to use him for our research. If not, well, the Security Maintenance Bureau will have one problem less. Whatever he is, the authorities will like him dead better than alive."
This was followed by silence. Everyone got to work.
But instead of observing their actions, Divine watched the boy with those empty green eyes who knew exactly what he was about to face. His hands were balled into fists. His face however was entirely relaxed. His chapped lips even seemed to smile ever so slightly.

What happened then occurred in rapid and confusing order. The electric shocks caught him, he screamed. First the metal bonds burst away, then the belts and in the end the generator exploded. And at that exact moment found every single person in the room ripped to pieces.

All but one.

The little boy rose and, with a single gesture of his hand, hurled the closed steel door open, without so much as touching it. But before he left the room he paused for a short moment to look back.
In the dark Divine was just about able to make out the smile that distorted the soft childish face, before he turned his back and disappeared.

"I went to search for the others.", he said. "I knew that you couldn't trust anyone... normal." He turned around and went on into the darkness. "There's no place for us in their world. They deny our existence, and cover it up. They harm us, murder us. So I created a place for me and mine alone. A world in that we'd be free. It wasn't big, mind you, limited to a single Movement of people, held together by nothing by desperation. But it grew. And the more I found, the more I learned we weren't powerless by any stretch of the imagination. We weren't at their mercy. We could prevent them from destroying us. Because one thing's for sure, that one day they will.", he took a deep breath. "But not if we had gotten to them first."

His companion was back at his side and listened attentively. It seemed he had grown younger. Freckles covered his nose and cheeks.
"And they deserve to be destroyed, annihilated.", Divine balled one hand to a fist. "After all they did to us, all that pain we had to suffer at their hands. I could only use the strongest among us. So I began to build and army. An army that would bring their demise. And our freedom." He sighed. "And I was but a tiny step away from completing my plan."

The boy looked at him. "Are you ready then, for this door?"
Divine contemplated the yet unclear memory in front of him. It was earlier still in his life, compared to the last one.
"You know what awaits you.", the boy added.
In all honesty, he had never been ready for that what awaited him now, and he didn't want to remember it. But his only choice was between the way and the end. He nodded and closed his eyes.

He felt an embrace, soft hair and a pleasant scent. He didn't want to open his eyes.
"Wake up, dear!", a woman's voice said, "We're back!"
He strained himself to experience the memories as dimly as possible.
"Don't call him 'dear', he's not a baby anymore.", a man muttered.
"I don't want to...", Divine murmured.
"If you don't wake up, there will be no presents."

Divine had to laugh silently. His story wasn't unlike Aki's. In fact, it was the same with everyone. It all started with the first duel.
He opened his eyes and looked around. A huge house decked in lights loomed over him, appearing out of a starry night. It probably seemed so enormous only because he himself was still so small. He was lifted out of the car and found himself ankle deep in snow. The woman held him by one hand, his other clutched the paw of some stuffed animal as he made his way toward the front door.
Divine sighed, if only on the inside. In extactly 2,38 seconds he would be dead, what did he have to lose?

By some silent order the memory turned crystal clear. The snow felt cold against his skin, he could feel every single flake. The stuffed animal in his hand was a red fox. He looked up into his mother's face. It was framed by long, reddish brown hair and the lights reflected in her eyes. She laughed at her husbands attempts to carry the presents behind them, as inconspicuously as possible.

Divine swallowed. Back then he had loved them both so very much. That was, in all probability, nothing special at all, any child would love its parents. But to him it felt odd, to have his memory bring back this feeling for them, since he had hated them for most of his life.

He heard the familiar creaking sound caused by the old wooden staircase under their steps, remembered the cold wind before his mother opened the door, switched on the light and lead him inside.
She pulled off his jacket and petted his hair lovingly, then gave him a kiss on his forehead.
Divine averted his eyes.
The accuracy of the memory surprised him, but not necessarily in a good way.
He knew just how the living room had smelled, what the candles on the Christmas tree had looked like and his dad's voice when he handed him his present.
He still remembered every single card in his first own deck.

And his very first duel.

His mother's screams and the appalled expression in his father's face.
How he was dragged down the stairs and how he hit the floor hard and how all of a sudden he was engulfed in icy darkness. The basement floor was made of stone and cold. He hammered his fists against the door, yelled for help, begged, pleaded. But there was no answer. Only sometimes he heard his mother's sobs.

At the beginning the darkness had been scary, but in time that changed. He lost his feeling for the passing of time. Days might have passed, or maybe weeks, when he saw them for the first time. Grotesque faces in the shadows. Glowing eyes, rumbling snarls. The darkness wasn't just scary anymore, it was literally driving him mad. He had no voice left, so he couldn't scream. They became his companions, his escort, at day and night. Even to this day he would always seen them in the dark. He was half mad for fear of them and himself. He couldn't forget his parent's eyes as they had looked at him... what they called him... a monster. As if he were one of them...

He must have spent years down there. His parents fed him by shoving food through the door, treating him like an animal in a cage.
At first he often heard his mother weep and cried for her, but through the door he could hear his father's voice saying, "That's not our son, it's a monster! If anyone hears... that our son is possessed by the devil..."

He lost all sense of time. Sometimes he could control the monsters, often he couldn't. He feared them.
"I learned late to master my powers. Until then, they controlled me.", he explained.
He observed each minute of his life in the cellar, and they were uncountable in their quantity. Half an eternity that he lived through once again. Everything was drowned in the oppressive darkness and cold. He ate and slept, ate and slept.

At some point he forgot how to cry. He forgot how to laugh. He forgot his parents' faces. He couldn't grasp the memories in all that darkness, they ran through his fingers like sand. He forgot about joy and sorrow. All that was left was fear, and a hatred that was eating its way deeper and deeper into his soul.

But after months or years, he couldn't tell, there came one day when he realized he had particular good control over the monsters. He had them blast the door open. His father didn't manage a sound, for he was squashed between it and the wall.
The boy couldn't quite make out his mother, it was so unbearably bright.
"Mother...?", he groaned. Nothing was left of his voice but a hoarse rasping sound.
The woman fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands. The monsters lunged at her in a heartbeat. Her head dropped like a strangled doll's. People were so fragile.
"Mother?", he asked again. But she gave him no answer.
The boy looked down at her and for a short moment he had the overwhelming urge to cry. It was gone as fast as it had come.

The image vanished in the darkness like a candle.
Divine's face was completely blank, he didn't know what to think or feel. He hadn't remembered all of this for years. This time he had tried to weather through it as rational as possible. He couldn't possibly describe what he had gone through in those years. And he didn't want to try.

It was over.

Everything was over now.

He was watching his own life like a backwards movie flash by his inner eye. So it was true after all, he noticed at the brink of his perception.
Again Divine wasn't sure how much time had passed. It felt like he had spent weeks deep in thought, maybe even months, years, or minutes.
He saw his companion vanishing, everything around him dissolved, disappeared in glistening light, while he watched his fading childhood play backwards.

He saw himself laugh, saw himself cry. A normal person with a normal life. Divine smiled. There was no time left.

He knew he'd been wronged. And there was a lot for him to regret. But what did it matter who was right, who wrong? Neither would it save him, nor would it grant him salvation or absolution. He could only look back on his life and watch.

That was all that was left to him.

~end

Feedback: Comments are love! You can leave them either here (at winhall's journal), at the entry at ygo_5ds or via DeviantArt here, which I'm sure Molly would like. =) Of course you could also send her a not ehere on LJ.
We both believe that Divine is a sadly missunderstood and underrated character, so if you share this sentiment or just like this fic please send feedback. =)