As i was watching you
Whenever i looked at you, your head was always bent low, fixed upon your sketchpad, your slender fingers guiding your 2B pencil as it glided across the paper, making soft strokes. Your lips pursed in total concentration, with the tip of your tongue poking slightly. Your head moved up from time to time, but i could not never figure out what your object of fascination was. Your deep brown eyes flitted all around the class. It made me even more curious, it never seemed to focus on the single object and yet i could tell that you were focusing on only one object. Or maybe you were taking bits of everything and merging it together as one picture?
What were you drawing?
You were so engrossed in your drawing, that you hardly noticed that it was a recess. The shrill sound of the bell snapped me out of my muse, but your hand was still moving swiftly, making a smaller strokes on the paper. Our classmates rushed outside, eager to get their bodies outside, their minds free and most importantly, their hands on some food.
"Earth to Kim Jaejoong...Hellooooooooo? Are you back from Mars?"
"Huh"
My best friend, Kim Junsu shook his head, his brownish black hair swishing along behind his head. "Aishhh, you're always in daze, Jae. One day you're going to bang into someone that way." He linked his arms and pulled me up from my sest. "Come! Lets us adjourn to the canteen and stuff the royal stomach! Jae, i'm so hungry i feel like someone drilled a hole in my stomach!"
"Wow, you do sound like Changmin. Speaking of him,where is he?" i chuckled with his comment. He shurgged and pouted. I laughed and let he continue his lament over his hunger as we walked out of the class. I stole a quick glance at your seat.
You got up and left the class.
"Urghhh, Jae...i'm so full now! I think i going to explode!" His face was scrunched up in mock agony and his hand was placed on his flat stomach as he plopped down on the seat i n front of mine. Junsu groaned, " Jaeee...i eat too much..! That's it, i'm now officially sick of food.. I, Kim Junsu will not touch another morsel of food ever again!"
I smiled at him as he continued jabering about his abstistinence from food. After a while, i found my eyes staring yet again at your seat. You just had sat down. You reached for the sketchpad inside your bag and opened it immediately. As usual, your hands swept over the end page and, with a pencil in your hand, you started drawing.
" What do you think is in his sketchpad?" I unconciously heard myself asking.
"....no more... Huh?" Junsu looked suprised, no doubt that i'd interrupted his sentence. He must've seen my expression, for he stopped talking and his attention was on me. " In whose sketchpad?" Junsu followe my gaze, then crossed his arms and shook his head. " To be honest, I've no idea,Jae. He never show his sketchbook to anyone. That Yunho guy hardly talked to anyone! Why do you want to know him anyway?"
I shurgged. " Just...curious, i guess," i said. But actual fact, i wasn't just curious, i was fascinated by you. How could you spend your less time just drawing? What was is that caught your interest so much? What were you drawnig? I asked myself over and over again. I could imagine. I've always imagine you drew the world as you perceived it; unique, amazing...wonderful..different. The world from an artist's point of view- your point of view..
I wondered how you perceived me?
With the cold wind blowing my way, i kept my head low. Thoughts of today's lesson buzzed in my head like an angry bee, wanting an attention. " If.. the zinc was heated with acid," i mumbled to myself. "...the result is..." i ransked my brain to remember. "...something???" i concluded. I sighed for countless time and closed my eyes, trying to remember any information.,
Shoulder meet shoulder as i crashed into someone. My eyes were scrunched tight and i heard a similar shout of pain and another 'thud' matching mine as my ass meet the could ground. "One day you're going to crash into someone that way." Well, thanks for reminding me Junsu. I cursed silently.
Gaining my composure, i looked up to see who i crushed into. "Sorr-" my apology was cut short as i gasped.
YOU
"Sorry'" you said sheepishly as you tried to collect all yoir stuff from the ground. " I wasn't watching where i was going". The shock from the collision hadn't really passed yet as i spotted that on the ground, among the pencils, markers and paintbrushes.
The sketchpad.
You stood up and offering your hand, helped me back to my feet as i clutched the sketchbook to my chest. "U..ummm," i shuttered helplessly. Holding up the sketchpad out, i managed to say out, "T..this is yours."
A smile lit up your handsome features softly. "Do...you want to have a look on it, Jaejoong?". I hesistated. This...must be a dream, a reverie, my mind straying off during math class. My mom will jolt me awake after this; my sheets; Ms Jade will strike white board with her marker pen..something!!
"So," you prodded. " Do you want to? I will buy coffee."
I found myself nodding slightly. Butterflies started to crawled inside my stomach. I can't think right..i grinned slowly and follow his steps. This...wasn't a dream. This is real..Oh My God!!
I flipped through the sketchbook while you sat closely beside me, explaining some of the picture you drew. In the book were simple things, yet i could feel the easy effort and love you put in every picture. Drawn in charcoal, there was a picture of a croissant; homemade ny your sister. Your mother sleeping peacefully on the sifa with a feather duster in her hands, accentuated with pencil highlights. Walls that been white but were decorated with tangled ribbons of green wax. "My little brother," you explained with a grin and with full of love in your brown eyes.
"I only draw the things i love," you mentioned, as i looked at a drawing o a watch. I smiled at you; you wearing the same watch. We talked even after our coffees become cold- about school, about classes, about teachers and friends.
It surprised me at how easy it was.
I flipped the last page.
There, drawn in charcoal and pencil, was a sketch of... me. My head bent low over a book that i was reading. Every single detail was drawn perfectly in place- my bangs covered my eyes and big doe eyes of mine staring at book, a smile on my face.
The next few pages also featured me.
Talking to Junsu.
Stacking books at the library.
Asleep during math class.
I looked back at you.
You just staring at your coffee. With a slight blush- was it from the cold or embrassment?- you repeated:
"I ONLY DRAW THE THINGS I LOVE"