Fic: Static (3/?). Hisagi/Kira.
Title: Static (3/?)
Author: winteraconite
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Hisagi Shuuhei/Kira Izuru
Notes/Warnings: Yaoi. ANGST. This is actually a late (like whoa) birthday gift to two of my favorite persons here in LJ: barukode and annieroo2. Also written for prompt #32: Regret @ 50scenes.
General Summary: Betrayal is a blade that cuts deep, and you have to wonder who you can really trust.
Chapter Summary: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its sexy characters. I just borrow them and make them do my nasty bidding. They like it. A lot. >:)
Chapter One: Hisagi helps a wounded Kira and proximity takes its toll.
Chapter Two: Things fall apart as Hisagi tries to fix what isn't broken.
A/N: Like I said, this chapter is actually a (LATE) birthday present for two of my favorite persons here in LJ: Zuzu and Ann. Zuzu's birthday was on the 26th of December and Ann's, on the 17th of January, but because I am made of utter fail I was not able to finish this in time to post it between their birthdays (which was January 6, my self-imposed deadline). I hope you lovely ladies don't mind sharing! I love you, Zuzu and Ann! I can't even begin to tell you how much! I know I greeted the two of you on your actual birthdays (am still furious the ozone layer ate my text message to you Zuzu) but a belated happy birthday to you two! (What? At least it's not a month late! XD)
~
In the previous chapter:
Somewhere behind him Hisagi felt a heart break.
“I’m sorry, Izuru,” he said through clenched teeth and picked up his pace.
He felt like he couldn’t run fast enough.
~
Static: Chapter Three
Bathed in the artificial glow of the large, now blank computer screen, Akon replayed the seemingly nonsensical flickers of lights and colours in his head and frowned. Smoke from his cigarette snaked around him and the floor around his feet is littered with ash. For the first time in a very long time the Head of the Shinigami Research and Development Institute was confused.
“Play that for me again,” he said. The tech pushed a button on his work station and the screen displayed a transmitted image of the outskirts of Karakura town. It was immediately alive with lights, colours, numbers, letters, shapes-the works: orange triangles for the humans, and red for the Hollows. There were a few green circles scattered throughout the screen, representing the shinigami assigned to patrol the area. Akon watched as they winked out, consumed by a wave of red triangles.
More green circles appeared on the edges of the screen, but they didn’t last long as the red triangles quickly multiplied until Akon’s own white lab coat reflected a dull red glow. Then, right when Akon knew they would, the red triangles winked out all at once and there was nothing on the screen but thermal readings of the terrain. No green circles, no orange triangles.
He took a long puff from his cigarette, and his tech looked at him grimly.
“We’ve got a situation.”
~
“Kira-fukutaichou?”
Kira blinked and looked up from the latest request for approval for replacement written in Hisagi’s sprawling script. It wasn’t so much a request as it was notice of yet another assignment the brunet would be sending in a replacement for. Realizing he was holding it too tightly, he set it back down on the table and smoothed his palms over the now crumpled sheet.
He should be used to this by now. The necessary paperwork was delivered regularly by unseated 9th Division members who shifted their weight from one foot to the other as they handed over the documents with their eyes glued to the floor. Sometimes they arrived before Kira even knew they had been assigned on a mission together. Replacements. Reassignments. He’d known it would turn out like this, and he had expected it. What he didn’t expect, however, was how much it affected him.
“Your Lieutenant is a busy man,” he said conversationally to the unseated shinigami who brought in the documents.
“Aa,” the shinigami responded nervously. “He oversees all of our training exercises and sparring sessions himself now. He still insists on doing the bulk of the paperwork as well. It is hard for him, being the only one in command.” Then he gasped and started stammering. “B-but you understand, Kira-fukutaichou.” He bowed, as if in apology, but Kira waved it off.
Grabbing his brush, he quickly affixed his signature on the documents and handed the necessary copies to the shinigami on the other side of his desk. “Did he say who he wanted to send in his place?”
“Fukutaichou thought it would be best to leave it up to you, sir,” the young shinigami said and Kira fought the urge to roll his eyes.
“Of course he did,” he sighed and then frowned. He turned his gaze to the lopsided stack of documents that all said the same thing, at least a month’s worth of Kira’s disgrace. Sighing again, he nodded at the young shinigami still in front of him. “Try not to give your Lieutenant too much trouble, all right?” he said with a smile, and the shinigami blushed and stammered a “Yes, sir” before giving him a swift bow and backing out of his office.
Kira waited a few seconds before he sat back on his chair and groaned.
“Long day?” a familiar voice asked and Kira looked up to see Rangiku leaning casually against the doorframe, a hand on her hip. She was smiling and the sight of it alleviated his bad mood somewhat.
“When is it not?” he asked, giving her a rueful smile. “Come in.” He gestured to the couch and excused himself for a few minutes to make some tea. When he came back, Rangiku was halfway through with a bottle of sake. “I should have known,” he laughed and she winked at him. “What can I do for you, Matsumoto-san?”
She heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Hinamori and Isane are in the office, and if I have to listen to them nag me about keeping it tidier I’m going to scream. Those two are even worse than my Captain is.” She rolled her eyes.
“You just wanted a drinking partner,” he teased, retrieving his own bottle of sake and two cups from one of his cabinets.
“That, too.” She grinned, pouring some for him. They shared a toast and proceeded to drink in comfortable silence. At least until Rangiku caught sight of the documents on Kira’s desk. “Please tell me you two aren’t still at it,” she groaned, and before Kira could stop her she was up and rummaging through his desk.
“Wait, Matsumoto-san, don’t-” He tried to protest but it was no use. Rangiku held the documents at arm’s length with one hand and pushed the blond back by his face with the other. Her heart sank when she saw Kira’s signature already at the bottom of the sheet. “You’re just as bad as he is, you know that?” she said, shaking her head, and Kira had the grace to look embarrassed. And miserable.
“It’s...complicated, Matsumoto-san. I told you.” He had-many times-but she wouldn’t have it.
What’s complicated is the two of you making things even worse, she wanted to say but she checked the impulse. Kira and Hisagi were two of the most stubborn men she had ever come across, and she came across a lot of those. She sighed and dropped the documents back on the blond’s desk. “And men are considered the superior gender, why?”
The 3rd Division Lieutenant made a face. “Don’t start, Matsumoto-san. Don’t turn this into an argument of the sexes. You know I’ll just lose.” He smiled a smile that reached his blue eyes, and she laughed, forcing her disappointment and sadness for her friends and comrades to the back of her mind. The last thing I need is even more stress, she told herself as she followed her friend back to the couch and the sake. But I’m talking to Shuuhei tomorrow, she decided. She still didn’t know the details; neither of the two thick-headed lieutenants would tell her, which only made her believe that whatever had caused the rift between her two friends was either something very, very big or the exact opposite of that (something very, very stupid). She reached for her cup and brought it to her lips. Beside her, Kira did the same and she turned to look at him only to have him not meet her eyes. She suppressed the urge to roll hers.
Someone has to talk some sense into these two, she thought. Behind them, there was the faint rustle of sheets of paper being disturbed by a breeze, and she imagined Hisagi’s request for approval for replacement fluttering in the wind. An idea popped into her head.
“Hey, Kira,” she said, and the blond looked at her and raised a brow. “About Shuuhei’s replacement...”
~
“Behind you, Fukutaichou!”
Hisagi ducked and rolled to one side just as the Hollow’s claws scored the ground where he was standing only moments ago. He quickly dispatched it, thrusting Kazeshini right into its empty eye socket and through its brain.
One down. God knows how many more to go. Hisagi tightened his grip on his zapakutou.
It never occurred to him that they might lose the battle until there were only three of them left standing. Drastically outnumbered with no reinforcement in sight, he knew they it was only by sheer luck that they were still alive. All around him his men were injured and incapacitated; the ground was slick with their blood. It was terrifying, and despite over a century of training, fear made itself known in the back of his mind.
“Damn it,” he cursed when a Hollow’s talons whizzed past his ear, missing his head by a hair’s breadth. Surging forward, he lashed out with Kazeshini, slicing the monster through its throat without waiting to see its head fall before he was on the next one, plunging his zanpakutou into its chest.
A sharp cry-his fourth seat’s-followed by a ferocious roar sounded from behind him and he twisted around to come face to face with another Hollow, so close he could feel its acrid breath on his skin. Something inside him tightened at the sight, and he shuddered before he dropped to a crouch, narrowly avoiding a swing that would have lopped his head clean off. He lunged forward and delivered a clean slice from belly to chin, carving the Hollow in half.
Just two of them now. They were goners.
Another Hollow suddenly materialized in front of him and reared back, talons raised for the final blow.
“Bloom, Fujikujaku!”
Hisagi leapt backwards and shielded his eyes as blood sprayed from the gaping wound that appeared on the monster’s chest. Ayasegawa Yumichika landed in a crouch not two feet away from him.
“Still alive back there, Hisagi?” The 11th Division 5th Seat called. He was covered in blood and Hisagi didn’t doubt for one second that none of it was his.
“Ayasegawa, you-”
“Later!” Yumichika was one his feet again, slaughtering one Hollow after the other. A dozen more shinigami entered the fray and the 9th Division Lieutenant joined in, unleashing a flurry of wild cuts and slashes. On the verge of victory, he intensified his attack, sending waves of kidou after every thrust of his zanpakutou until finally silence reigned, disturbed only by the pained groans of the wounded.
“God damn it, Yumi!” Hisagi bellowed, not bothering to sheath Kazeshini as he turned towards the few still left standing. He was furious and the indifferent stare the shorter shinigami gave him only made him angrier. “What the fuck was that?!”
Yumichika raised a feathered eyebrow. “That was called saving your ass, Hisagi. Is there a problem?” He stood at his full height with arms akimbo as he glared at the 9th Division Lieutenant.
“You were supposed to outflank them from the left! The Hollows surrounded us; we were sitting ducks out there!”
Yumi’s eyes flashed. “You gave your own position away when you attacked first thing that moved. There was no way we could have gotten there in time. You should have waited until we were in position.”
“You didn’t get there fast enough,” Hisagi said through clenched teeth, refusing to back down. He glowered at the shorter brunet. “You had your orders; you have no excuse, and now my men are-”
The rest of his sentence was cut off when Yumi’s arm shot out and grabbed a fistful of his uniform.
“Fukutaichou!” He heard his men rush to his aid and threw out an arm to stop them. His eyes never left Yumichika’s.
“I followed my orders,” the older shinigami hissed dangerously. “Word for word, so don’t you dare talk to me like that. I’ve been in this business longer than you’ve been alive.” He pushed Hisagi away and jabbed a finger in the vice-captain’s chest. “You changed tactics in the middle of the game and things like that can get people killed. You’re lucky no one died so get off my back, Hisagi.”
Hisagi felt himself bristle but before he could form a retort Yumichika turned and walked away. Their men scattered as they scrambled to clear a path for the 11th Division 5th seat and Hisagi decided to be the better man and let him go.
“Get the men in order; we’re moving out,” he told his third seat. “Open the senkai and get everybody through. Priority goes to the wounded.”
“Yes, sir!” The man hurried to carry out his orders and a few moments later the glowing gate materialized and slid open to admit them. The men from the 11th division were already neatly assembled and waiting (only Yumichika could get them to do that), and one by one they all walked into the portal. Hisagi and Yumichika were the last to leave, and they stepped into the Severed World resolutely ignoring each other. Or at least Hisagi thought so.
“A word,” Yumichika said suddenly, stepping up closer to Hisagi. “Is it heavy?” He asked.
“Is what heavy?” Hisagi snapped.
“All that pride.”
Hisagi turned his head sharply to glare at Yumichika and wasn’t at all surprised to find that he was smirking. Yumichika kept talking. “I understand that the word ‘apology’ has no place in your vocabulary,” he said. “But I know you know what happened back there was your fault.”
Hisagi opened his mouth to speak and put a stop to Yumichika’s insolence but the older shinigami beat him to it. “It’s hard, isn’t it-working with someone new?” Without waiting for an answer, the shorter brunet shook his head and chuckled knowingly. “It’s even harder when you’re so used to working with someone else.” Yumichika fixed him with a steady gaze but Hisagi said nothing. “I can’t read you,” he continued. “And you can’t read me. You jump into the fray and I have to figure out what you’re doing. You wonder where I am when I’m right where I’m supposed to be and-”
“Yumi, don’t,” Hisagi said all of a sudden, effectively stopping Yumichika from whatever he was going to say next. “I’m sorry, all right? It was my fault; I’ll wait next time. I guess I just got carried away.” He hated to own up to his mistakes and admit defeat, but he had an idea where Yumi was going with this and, frankly, he didn’t want to hear it. “And I won’t yell at you or anything. Ever.” He promised because he knew that out of the many, many things Yumichika couldn’t stand about life in general, being scolded or yelled at ranked pretty high on that list.
He looked at Yumi and tried not to pout and seem like the child Yumi was always saying he was. The shorter brunet smirked. Apology accepted.
They were at the end of the Severed World now and they could see the silhouettes of their men gathered on the other side of the portal, waiting for them. Yumi stopped in his tracks and turned to Hisagi, and the taller brunet instantly knew he wasn’t going to like what Yumi was going to say.
“It’s none of my business,” Yumi started and Hisagi bit the inside of his cheek to keep from agreeing out loud. “But whatever is going on with you and Kira has got to stop.”
Hisagi grit his teeth. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. Don’t think I don’t know why we’ve been working together so much lately.” Yumi’s blue-violet eyes took on a hard glint. “Don’t compromise your duties over personal matters, Hisagi. That’s never the way to go, and if you insist on doing just that then I don’t want to be a part of it.” The shorter brunet turned and headed for the portal before Hisagi could say anything. He stopped and looked back at the younger shinigami halfway through the threshold. “Don’t ask for me again,” he said and then he was gone.
Utterly speechless, Hisagi glared at the older shinigami’s silhouette, clenching his fists in an effort to reign in his anger even as his cheeks burned with humiliation. You don’t know shit, he wanted to yell at his friend but decided against it. Don’t give Yumi any more reason to think you a fool.
He gave himself a few seconds to compose himself before crossing the rift. To his relief, the men from the 11th Division were already gone and only a handful of his own men were waiting for him.
“We’ve sent the wounded to the 4th Division, sir,” his third seat reported and Hisagi was glad for the man’s good sense.
“Get to your homes, all of you. We’ll work on those reports tomorrow,” he told his men and they were only too happy to comply, flash-stepping away with hasty farewells and barely a second glance at their lieutenant. Hisagi waited until all of them were gone before going against his own words and speeding for his office.
What he found on his desk surprised him.
“Son of a bitch,” he cursed and grabbed the files from his desk, wishing he could throw the damned thing into the trash. It had been more than a month now, but he and Kira were still being assigned together despite the two of them making an effort to stay apart. It was frustrating. Hisagi had always thought himself a patient man but it was starting to grate on his nerves. How long would it take for the higher-ups to take a hint? He was doing the right thing, wasn’t he?
And Kira... No. Hisagi pushed any thought of the blond out of his mind, and reasonably began to believe that what you wanted to happen was the last thing that was going to happen. Poking his head out of his office door, he called to the first shinigami he saw. “Satsuya,” he called, and his 5th seat came hurrying over.
“Hisagi-fukutaichou,” the man greeted and gave him a swift bow.
Hisagi nodded in return. “Where’s Touru? He was supposed to bring my request for approval of replacement forms to the 3rd Division this morning.” He waved the file in the air and Satsuya blinked.
“He did, sir. I put the copies with Kira-fukutaichou’s signatures on your desk myself.”
Hisagi looked around his desk and found the aforementioned documents, ignoring the pang he felt when he thought about how quickly they had been signed and returned. He stared at the one he had in his hand in confusion.
“Those just came in, sir.” His 5th seat answered his unspoken question, nodding to the file the brunet held. “About two hours ago, from the Shinigami Research and Development Institute.”
Frowning and shaking his head, he opened the file. It was the mission briefing for his and Kira’s current assignment, the one he was sending in a replacement for; some additional operational conditions and more specific instructions. He skimmed through it quickly and was about to set it aside when something caught his eye.
Anomalous readings. Human casualties. Missing Shinigami.
Hisagi frowned. When did that happen? The assignment was supposed to be a simple strategic reconnaissance mission. He read through the rest of the documents, the furrow between his brows becoming more and more pronounced. From across his desk, Satsuya eyed the Lieutenant warily. A confused Hisagi Shuuhei was never a good sign. “Would you like me to send a message to Kira-fukutaichou, sir?”
Hisagi shook his head and walked around his desk. “No, I’ve got this,” he said, starting to leave his office with the files in hand. “As you were,” he said to his 5th seat and then walked out into the hall. He stopped when he heard Satsuya call out to him.
“Hisagi-fukutaichou!”
“What is it?”
Satsuya was looking at him oddly. “Are you sure you should...I would gladly go to Kira-fukutaichou or even a Hell Butterfly-”
Hisagi cut him off with a sharp gesture. “This can’t wait, Satsuya,” he said then he gave the other shinigami a reassuring grin. “Don’t worry. I can handle him.” Without waiting for a response, he was out the door and flash-stepping in the direction of Kira’s office.
~
Kira was sitting behind his desk, compiling reports, when he sensed the 9th Division Vice-Captain approaching. Hisagi didn’t even stop at the door, just barged in, kicked it shut behind him, and asked, “Have you read the latest mission briefing?”
The blond nodded without looking up from his work. He was stunned, and immediately on edge. What was Hisagi doing here? This was the first time in months that the older shinigami had come to his office himself, the first time he had actually spoken to Kira since they had agreed to stop working together. His presence was like an intrusion, and one that cut deep into Kira’s core. He couldn’t help but feel defensive as his hackles rose in response to the other’s presence.
“As soon as it arrived,” he said in a carefully clipped tone, arranging the files according to date and placed them in a neat stack to one side of his desk for his 3rd seat to send to the 1st Division come morning. Then he pulled another handful of documents from the shelves behind him and started to arrange them in the same fashion. All this he did without looking at the brunet across his desk.
If it made Hisagi want to kill something, he didn’t let on. Instead, he grabbed a chair and sat down, tossing the file he had brought onto the blond’s desk. It opened to the page that had caught the brunet’s attention earlier and the grim descriptions glared up at the two of them almost accusatorily. “And?” Hisagi asked.
Kira arched a brow and pulled the file to him, scanning the first page before finally looking at Hisagi. His face was blank and his voice, carefully neutral, as he said: “And what?”
The brunet frowned. “It’s a level 5 assignment. Direct action: search and destroy.” He shook his head. “I don’t suppose that concerns you.”
“It’s nothing I haven’t done before.”
“Who did you ask for as my replacement?” Hisagi asked quickly, abruptly changing topics and Kira mind reeled to keep up.
“Matsumoto-san,” he answered then shook his head sharply. “Hisagi-san, I don’t know what you’re getting at but it’s getting late and I have work to do-”
“I rescind my request to send in a replacement,” the brunet said suddenly. “I’m going with you.”
Kira didn’t miss a beat. “No,” he said darkly. “You’re not.” He slammed the now chronologically arranged set of files on top of the previous one and stood up. “What’s gotten into you?” He snapped, placing his hands on his hips. He looked at the brunet reproachfully.
Hisagi matched his glare and leapt to his feet, pointing at the file. “This is what’s gotten into me.” Anomalous readings, human casualties, missing shinigami who were probably all dead. “Has Rangiku-san even read it yet?”
“I sent her my copy as soon as I was done with it. She should have finished it by now; she’s more responsible than anyone gives her credit for. You know that.” Kira tilted his head to one side and frowned as a thought came into mind. “But if you’re worried about her I can try to find someone else. It won’t be easy, though; she volunteered.”
“God damn it, Kira, I’m not worried about her. I worried about you!” Hisagi said and it wasn’t until the echo of his own voice died down that he realized he had yelled. He glared at the blond, as if it was Kira’s fault. “I rescind my request to send a replacement,” he repeated calmly. He let the words hang in the air.
The younger shinigami pursed his lips and didn’t speak right away. When he finally did, Hisagi knew he had lost. “You can’t rescind something you’ve already signed,” Kira said quietly. “And I’ve already sent the forms to the 1st Division. I’m sorry,” he said in a voice that didn’t sound sorry at all. “You’re not coming with me.”
Hisagi threw his hands up in the air. “There’s no getting through to you, is there?”
“Well, you look like you could use a break.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He asked, and Kira looked at him pointedly. Then Hisagi remembered that he had come barging in here straight after his previous assignment. He looked down at himself and saw that his shihakushou was tattered, stained, and reeking of Hollow blood. Suddenly Satsuya trying to stop him from coming here made sense and he blushed in spite of himself. “Routine patrol with minor setbacks,” he said simply. “No big deal. Unlike that,” he nodded toward the file still on Kira’s table.
The blond rubbed his hands over his face and groaned tiredly. He fought for control. “I’ll be fine, Shuuhei, but I appreciate your concern.” Then he lowered his hands and looked at the older shinigami. “Don’t worry about me.”
Like I could, Hisagi thought. Then he smirked as Yumichika’s words from earlier came to mind. “Is it heavy?” He asked.
Kira looked confused. “Is what heavy?”
“All that pride.”
The blond’s jaw dropped and his face flushed before he regained his composure. His eyes darkened abruptly. Every muscle in his body seemed to tighten. “Need I remind you that all this was your idea?” He asked coldly, and the temperature in the room seemed to drop along with the bottom of the brunet’s stomach. Silence hung thickly between them until Hisagi swallowed and softly said: “It won’t be long now.” He looked into Kira’s eyes and willed him to understand. “You’ll see.”
The blond was taken aback by the gentleness in the older shinigami’s voice and it suddenly made him even angrier. Trust Hisagi to make him feel like this was all his fault. “I wasn’t aware that this arrangement was temporary,” he said harshly.
Hisagi bridled in response to Kira’s hostility. “So it’s like that now?” He snapped before he could stop himself. He felt his pulse rising, his face heating up. This is why he hated arguing with Kira. He always lost. “Forget I said anything,” he said. This is going nowhere, he thought to himself. Stay calm, stay calm. He’s just being defensive. You hurt him, remember?
He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. This wasn’t supposed to be a fight. They didn’t work together, yes. They didn’t talk to each other or even look at each other. But this wasn’t supposed to be a fight; they weren’t supposed to hate each other. Fuck, what have I done? When did it get this bad?
“Do what you like, Kira,” He said finally, defeated. “I didn’t come here to pick a fight.” He turned and started for the door, wounded pride in tow. Anger and concern churned inside him, taking turns in coming to the fore. Part of him wanted to shout at Kira for being such an obstinate brat while another knew it was his fault. A level five assignment was serious; the two of them only ever carried them out together, and he wasn’t comfortable with the idea that they weren’t going to now-especially for reasons such as theirs.
“Then why did you come here?” Kira asked just as Hisagi’s fingers closed around the doorknob. The brunet turned around.
“I came here because you’re running straight into a dangerous mission with barely any intel to see you through, and I don’t like it. Not if you’re going without me.”
The blond visibly relaxed at his softened tone and Hisagi thought he saw a flicker of self-reproach in Kira’s blue eyes. But Kira’s resolve had always been made of steel and that wasn’t going to change any time soon, least of all now. “I’m not a child that needs looking after, Shuu,” he said. “Matsumoto-san and I can handle this. Trust me.”
“I do.”
Kira ducked his head at that. He opened his mouth to say something but then seemed to hesitate, as though reconsidering his words. Finally he nodded to himself before looking at Hisagi again. “If that will be all, Hisagi-fukutaichou.” He gave the brunet a short bow then gestured to the door with his eyes. There was no trace of anger in his voice. Just a profound sense of finality that was infinitely worse.
Hisagi knew a dismissal when he saw one. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, that’s it.” He turned and twisted the knob in his hand, the click of the door opening all but deafening to his ears. You’ve made your bed, Hisagi told himself. Now lie in it. He shook his head and pushed past the door quickly, slamming it shut much too loudly in his wake. Then he paused outside the door for a second...two seconds...three...before storming down the hall and savagely crushing the hope that his friend would call him back.
Friend. Kira was still one of those...right?
~
Kira listened to his footsteps fade into silence and sank back into his chair with an exasperated sigh. Guilt and regret gnawed at him. He was angry, yes-he was still hurting after all-and talking to the older shinigami only reminded how much. He recalled the fleeting sense of satisfaction he had felt when he dismissed Hisagi, and it left a bitter taste in his mouth.
The truth was he hadn’t wanted to talk to Hisagi the way he did. He didn’t want to be angry-things were bad enough between them-but it was all he could do: refuse the offer, the blatant admission of concern, no matter how much he wanted to believe them-or rather accept them, because he did believe them and that only made it everything harder.
He still cares about me, he thought and then wondered why it surprised him when he had never doubted it, not even for an instant, despite what had happened between them. And yet it wasn’t enough. Kira couldn’t just forgive and forget; not at the expense of his self-respect. Hisagi only wanted to work with him for this particular assignment to...what? Make sure nothing went wrong? That Kira did it right? And what did he mean when he said it wouldn’t be long now? It wouldn’t be long until what? What exactly was Hisagi waiting for? And if Kira had said yes, if only to this assignment, would things change between them or would Hisagi continue sending in replacements for easier and less dangerous missions?
There were too many questions and no one to answer them, though Hisagi might have tried if he had been given the chance. Kira sighed and pulled the latest mission briefing to him, flipping through its pages absently. For some reason it felt heavier than it did only a few hours ago and Hisagi’s voice suddenly rang out in his mind.
Is it heavy? All that pride?
Kira shook his head. What do you want from me, Hisagi Shuuhei? He mentally asked his friend as the image of the brunet turning his back to him and walking away for a second time replayed in his head.
When I get back, he decided, tightening his grip on the file. We’ll talk about this when I get back.
TBC.
Read Chapter Four here.
A/N: Hmmmmm...now that I think about it, I don't think anyone is following this story anymore! XD Guys, I am SO sorry this is taking me so long! Bear with me! /_\
Author: winteraconite
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Hisagi Shuuhei/Kira Izuru
Notes/Warnings: Yaoi. ANGST. This is actually a late (like whoa) birthday gift to two of my favorite persons here in LJ: barukode and annieroo2. Also written for prompt #32: Regret @ 50scenes.
General Summary: Betrayal is a blade that cuts deep, and you have to wonder who you can really trust.
Chapter Summary: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its sexy characters. I just borrow them and make them do my nasty bidding. They like it. A lot. >:)
Chapter One: Hisagi helps a wounded Kira and proximity takes its toll.
Chapter Two: Things fall apart as Hisagi tries to fix what isn't broken.
A/N: Like I said, this chapter is actually a (LATE) birthday present for two of my favorite persons here in LJ: Zuzu and Ann. Zuzu's birthday was on the 26th of December and Ann's, on the 17th of January, but because I am made of utter fail I was not able to finish this in time to post it between their birthdays (which was January 6, my self-imposed deadline). I hope you lovely ladies don't mind sharing! I love you, Zuzu and Ann! I can't even begin to tell you how much! I know I greeted the two of you on your actual birthdays (am still furious the ozone layer ate my text message to you Zuzu) but a belated happy birthday to you two! (What? At least it's not a month late! XD)
~
In the previous chapter:
Somewhere behind him Hisagi felt a heart break.
“I’m sorry, Izuru,” he said through clenched teeth and picked up his pace.
He felt like he couldn’t run fast enough.
~
Static: Chapter Three
Bathed in the artificial glow of the large, now blank computer screen, Akon replayed the seemingly nonsensical flickers of lights and colours in his head and frowned. Smoke from his cigarette snaked around him and the floor around his feet is littered with ash. For the first time in a very long time the Head of the Shinigami Research and Development Institute was confused.
“Play that for me again,” he said. The tech pushed a button on his work station and the screen displayed a transmitted image of the outskirts of Karakura town. It was immediately alive with lights, colours, numbers, letters, shapes-the works: orange triangles for the humans, and red for the Hollows. There were a few green circles scattered throughout the screen, representing the shinigami assigned to patrol the area. Akon watched as they winked out, consumed by a wave of red triangles.
More green circles appeared on the edges of the screen, but they didn’t last long as the red triangles quickly multiplied until Akon’s own white lab coat reflected a dull red glow. Then, right when Akon knew they would, the red triangles winked out all at once and there was nothing on the screen but thermal readings of the terrain. No green circles, no orange triangles.
He took a long puff from his cigarette, and his tech looked at him grimly.
“We’ve got a situation.”
~
“Kira-fukutaichou?”
Kira blinked and looked up from the latest request for approval for replacement written in Hisagi’s sprawling script. It wasn’t so much a request as it was notice of yet another assignment the brunet would be sending in a replacement for. Realizing he was holding it too tightly, he set it back down on the table and smoothed his palms over the now crumpled sheet.
He should be used to this by now. The necessary paperwork was delivered regularly by unseated 9th Division members who shifted their weight from one foot to the other as they handed over the documents with their eyes glued to the floor. Sometimes they arrived before Kira even knew they had been assigned on a mission together. Replacements. Reassignments. He’d known it would turn out like this, and he had expected it. What he didn’t expect, however, was how much it affected him.
“Your Lieutenant is a busy man,” he said conversationally to the unseated shinigami who brought in the documents.
“Aa,” the shinigami responded nervously. “He oversees all of our training exercises and sparring sessions himself now. He still insists on doing the bulk of the paperwork as well. It is hard for him, being the only one in command.” Then he gasped and started stammering. “B-but you understand, Kira-fukutaichou.” He bowed, as if in apology, but Kira waved it off.
Grabbing his brush, he quickly affixed his signature on the documents and handed the necessary copies to the shinigami on the other side of his desk. “Did he say who he wanted to send in his place?”
“Fukutaichou thought it would be best to leave it up to you, sir,” the young shinigami said and Kira fought the urge to roll his eyes.
“Of course he did,” he sighed and then frowned. He turned his gaze to the lopsided stack of documents that all said the same thing, at least a month’s worth of Kira’s disgrace. Sighing again, he nodded at the young shinigami still in front of him. “Try not to give your Lieutenant too much trouble, all right?” he said with a smile, and the shinigami blushed and stammered a “Yes, sir” before giving him a swift bow and backing out of his office.
Kira waited a few seconds before he sat back on his chair and groaned.
“Long day?” a familiar voice asked and Kira looked up to see Rangiku leaning casually against the doorframe, a hand on her hip. She was smiling and the sight of it alleviated his bad mood somewhat.
“When is it not?” he asked, giving her a rueful smile. “Come in.” He gestured to the couch and excused himself for a few minutes to make some tea. When he came back, Rangiku was halfway through with a bottle of sake. “I should have known,” he laughed and she winked at him. “What can I do for you, Matsumoto-san?”
She heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Hinamori and Isane are in the office, and if I have to listen to them nag me about keeping it tidier I’m going to scream. Those two are even worse than my Captain is.” She rolled her eyes.
“You just wanted a drinking partner,” he teased, retrieving his own bottle of sake and two cups from one of his cabinets.
“That, too.” She grinned, pouring some for him. They shared a toast and proceeded to drink in comfortable silence. At least until Rangiku caught sight of the documents on Kira’s desk. “Please tell me you two aren’t still at it,” she groaned, and before Kira could stop her she was up and rummaging through his desk.
“Wait, Matsumoto-san, don’t-” He tried to protest but it was no use. Rangiku held the documents at arm’s length with one hand and pushed the blond back by his face with the other. Her heart sank when she saw Kira’s signature already at the bottom of the sheet. “You’re just as bad as he is, you know that?” she said, shaking her head, and Kira had the grace to look embarrassed. And miserable.
“It’s...complicated, Matsumoto-san. I told you.” He had-many times-but she wouldn’t have it.
What’s complicated is the two of you making things even worse, she wanted to say but she checked the impulse. Kira and Hisagi were two of the most stubborn men she had ever come across, and she came across a lot of those. She sighed and dropped the documents back on the blond’s desk. “And men are considered the superior gender, why?”
The 3rd Division Lieutenant made a face. “Don’t start, Matsumoto-san. Don’t turn this into an argument of the sexes. You know I’ll just lose.” He smiled a smile that reached his blue eyes, and she laughed, forcing her disappointment and sadness for her friends and comrades to the back of her mind. The last thing I need is even more stress, she told herself as she followed her friend back to the couch and the sake. But I’m talking to Shuuhei tomorrow, she decided. She still didn’t know the details; neither of the two thick-headed lieutenants would tell her, which only made her believe that whatever had caused the rift between her two friends was either something very, very big or the exact opposite of that (something very, very stupid). She reached for her cup and brought it to her lips. Beside her, Kira did the same and she turned to look at him only to have him not meet her eyes. She suppressed the urge to roll hers.
Someone has to talk some sense into these two, she thought. Behind them, there was the faint rustle of sheets of paper being disturbed by a breeze, and she imagined Hisagi’s request for approval for replacement fluttering in the wind. An idea popped into her head.
“Hey, Kira,” she said, and the blond looked at her and raised a brow. “About Shuuhei’s replacement...”
~
“Behind you, Fukutaichou!”
Hisagi ducked and rolled to one side just as the Hollow’s claws scored the ground where he was standing only moments ago. He quickly dispatched it, thrusting Kazeshini right into its empty eye socket and through its brain.
One down. God knows how many more to go. Hisagi tightened his grip on his zapakutou.
It never occurred to him that they might lose the battle until there were only three of them left standing. Drastically outnumbered with no reinforcement in sight, he knew they it was only by sheer luck that they were still alive. All around him his men were injured and incapacitated; the ground was slick with their blood. It was terrifying, and despite over a century of training, fear made itself known in the back of his mind.
“Damn it,” he cursed when a Hollow’s talons whizzed past his ear, missing his head by a hair’s breadth. Surging forward, he lashed out with Kazeshini, slicing the monster through its throat without waiting to see its head fall before he was on the next one, plunging his zanpakutou into its chest.
A sharp cry-his fourth seat’s-followed by a ferocious roar sounded from behind him and he twisted around to come face to face with another Hollow, so close he could feel its acrid breath on his skin. Something inside him tightened at the sight, and he shuddered before he dropped to a crouch, narrowly avoiding a swing that would have lopped his head clean off. He lunged forward and delivered a clean slice from belly to chin, carving the Hollow in half.
Just two of them now. They were goners.
Another Hollow suddenly materialized in front of him and reared back, talons raised for the final blow.
“Bloom, Fujikujaku!”
Hisagi leapt backwards and shielded his eyes as blood sprayed from the gaping wound that appeared on the monster’s chest. Ayasegawa Yumichika landed in a crouch not two feet away from him.
“Still alive back there, Hisagi?” The 11th Division 5th Seat called. He was covered in blood and Hisagi didn’t doubt for one second that none of it was his.
“Ayasegawa, you-”
“Later!” Yumichika was one his feet again, slaughtering one Hollow after the other. A dozen more shinigami entered the fray and the 9th Division Lieutenant joined in, unleashing a flurry of wild cuts and slashes. On the verge of victory, he intensified his attack, sending waves of kidou after every thrust of his zanpakutou until finally silence reigned, disturbed only by the pained groans of the wounded.
“God damn it, Yumi!” Hisagi bellowed, not bothering to sheath Kazeshini as he turned towards the few still left standing. He was furious and the indifferent stare the shorter shinigami gave him only made him angrier. “What the fuck was that?!”
Yumichika raised a feathered eyebrow. “That was called saving your ass, Hisagi. Is there a problem?” He stood at his full height with arms akimbo as he glared at the 9th Division Lieutenant.
“You were supposed to outflank them from the left! The Hollows surrounded us; we were sitting ducks out there!”
Yumi’s eyes flashed. “You gave your own position away when you attacked first thing that moved. There was no way we could have gotten there in time. You should have waited until we were in position.”
“You didn’t get there fast enough,” Hisagi said through clenched teeth, refusing to back down. He glowered at the shorter brunet. “You had your orders; you have no excuse, and now my men are-”
The rest of his sentence was cut off when Yumi’s arm shot out and grabbed a fistful of his uniform.
“Fukutaichou!” He heard his men rush to his aid and threw out an arm to stop them. His eyes never left Yumichika’s.
“I followed my orders,” the older shinigami hissed dangerously. “Word for word, so don’t you dare talk to me like that. I’ve been in this business longer than you’ve been alive.” He pushed Hisagi away and jabbed a finger in the vice-captain’s chest. “You changed tactics in the middle of the game and things like that can get people killed. You’re lucky no one died so get off my back, Hisagi.”
Hisagi felt himself bristle but before he could form a retort Yumichika turned and walked away. Their men scattered as they scrambled to clear a path for the 11th Division 5th seat and Hisagi decided to be the better man and let him go.
“Get the men in order; we’re moving out,” he told his third seat. “Open the senkai and get everybody through. Priority goes to the wounded.”
“Yes, sir!” The man hurried to carry out his orders and a few moments later the glowing gate materialized and slid open to admit them. The men from the 11th division were already neatly assembled and waiting (only Yumichika could get them to do that), and one by one they all walked into the portal. Hisagi and Yumichika were the last to leave, and they stepped into the Severed World resolutely ignoring each other. Or at least Hisagi thought so.
“A word,” Yumichika said suddenly, stepping up closer to Hisagi. “Is it heavy?” He asked.
“Is what heavy?” Hisagi snapped.
“All that pride.”
Hisagi turned his head sharply to glare at Yumichika and wasn’t at all surprised to find that he was smirking. Yumichika kept talking. “I understand that the word ‘apology’ has no place in your vocabulary,” he said. “But I know you know what happened back there was your fault.”
Hisagi opened his mouth to speak and put a stop to Yumichika’s insolence but the older shinigami beat him to it. “It’s hard, isn’t it-working with someone new?” Without waiting for an answer, the shorter brunet shook his head and chuckled knowingly. “It’s even harder when you’re so used to working with someone else.” Yumichika fixed him with a steady gaze but Hisagi said nothing. “I can’t read you,” he continued. “And you can’t read me. You jump into the fray and I have to figure out what you’re doing. You wonder where I am when I’m right where I’m supposed to be and-”
“Yumi, don’t,” Hisagi said all of a sudden, effectively stopping Yumichika from whatever he was going to say next. “I’m sorry, all right? It was my fault; I’ll wait next time. I guess I just got carried away.” He hated to own up to his mistakes and admit defeat, but he had an idea where Yumi was going with this and, frankly, he didn’t want to hear it. “And I won’t yell at you or anything. Ever.” He promised because he knew that out of the many, many things Yumichika couldn’t stand about life in general, being scolded or yelled at ranked pretty high on that list.
He looked at Yumi and tried not to pout and seem like the child Yumi was always saying he was. The shorter brunet smirked. Apology accepted.
They were at the end of the Severed World now and they could see the silhouettes of their men gathered on the other side of the portal, waiting for them. Yumi stopped in his tracks and turned to Hisagi, and the taller brunet instantly knew he wasn’t going to like what Yumi was going to say.
“It’s none of my business,” Yumi started and Hisagi bit the inside of his cheek to keep from agreeing out loud. “But whatever is going on with you and Kira has got to stop.”
Hisagi grit his teeth. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. Don’t think I don’t know why we’ve been working together so much lately.” Yumi’s blue-violet eyes took on a hard glint. “Don’t compromise your duties over personal matters, Hisagi. That’s never the way to go, and if you insist on doing just that then I don’t want to be a part of it.” The shorter brunet turned and headed for the portal before Hisagi could say anything. He stopped and looked back at the younger shinigami halfway through the threshold. “Don’t ask for me again,” he said and then he was gone.
Utterly speechless, Hisagi glared at the older shinigami’s silhouette, clenching his fists in an effort to reign in his anger even as his cheeks burned with humiliation. You don’t know shit, he wanted to yell at his friend but decided against it. Don’t give Yumi any more reason to think you a fool.
He gave himself a few seconds to compose himself before crossing the rift. To his relief, the men from the 11th Division were already gone and only a handful of his own men were waiting for him.
“We’ve sent the wounded to the 4th Division, sir,” his third seat reported and Hisagi was glad for the man’s good sense.
“Get to your homes, all of you. We’ll work on those reports tomorrow,” he told his men and they were only too happy to comply, flash-stepping away with hasty farewells and barely a second glance at their lieutenant. Hisagi waited until all of them were gone before going against his own words and speeding for his office.
What he found on his desk surprised him.
“Son of a bitch,” he cursed and grabbed the files from his desk, wishing he could throw the damned thing into the trash. It had been more than a month now, but he and Kira were still being assigned together despite the two of them making an effort to stay apart. It was frustrating. Hisagi had always thought himself a patient man but it was starting to grate on his nerves. How long would it take for the higher-ups to take a hint? He was doing the right thing, wasn’t he?
And Kira... No. Hisagi pushed any thought of the blond out of his mind, and reasonably began to believe that what you wanted to happen was the last thing that was going to happen. Poking his head out of his office door, he called to the first shinigami he saw. “Satsuya,” he called, and his 5th seat came hurrying over.
“Hisagi-fukutaichou,” the man greeted and gave him a swift bow.
Hisagi nodded in return. “Where’s Touru? He was supposed to bring my request for approval of replacement forms to the 3rd Division this morning.” He waved the file in the air and Satsuya blinked.
“He did, sir. I put the copies with Kira-fukutaichou’s signatures on your desk myself.”
Hisagi looked around his desk and found the aforementioned documents, ignoring the pang he felt when he thought about how quickly they had been signed and returned. He stared at the one he had in his hand in confusion.
“Those just came in, sir.” His 5th seat answered his unspoken question, nodding to the file the brunet held. “About two hours ago, from the Shinigami Research and Development Institute.”
Frowning and shaking his head, he opened the file. It was the mission briefing for his and Kira’s current assignment, the one he was sending in a replacement for; some additional operational conditions and more specific instructions. He skimmed through it quickly and was about to set it aside when something caught his eye.
Anomalous readings. Human casualties. Missing Shinigami.
Hisagi frowned. When did that happen? The assignment was supposed to be a simple strategic reconnaissance mission. He read through the rest of the documents, the furrow between his brows becoming more and more pronounced. From across his desk, Satsuya eyed the Lieutenant warily. A confused Hisagi Shuuhei was never a good sign. “Would you like me to send a message to Kira-fukutaichou, sir?”
Hisagi shook his head and walked around his desk. “No, I’ve got this,” he said, starting to leave his office with the files in hand. “As you were,” he said to his 5th seat and then walked out into the hall. He stopped when he heard Satsuya call out to him.
“Hisagi-fukutaichou!”
“What is it?”
Satsuya was looking at him oddly. “Are you sure you should...I would gladly go to Kira-fukutaichou or even a Hell Butterfly-”
Hisagi cut him off with a sharp gesture. “This can’t wait, Satsuya,” he said then he gave the other shinigami a reassuring grin. “Don’t worry. I can handle him.” Without waiting for a response, he was out the door and flash-stepping in the direction of Kira’s office.
~
Kira was sitting behind his desk, compiling reports, when he sensed the 9th Division Vice-Captain approaching. Hisagi didn’t even stop at the door, just barged in, kicked it shut behind him, and asked, “Have you read the latest mission briefing?”
The blond nodded without looking up from his work. He was stunned, and immediately on edge. What was Hisagi doing here? This was the first time in months that the older shinigami had come to his office himself, the first time he had actually spoken to Kira since they had agreed to stop working together. His presence was like an intrusion, and one that cut deep into Kira’s core. He couldn’t help but feel defensive as his hackles rose in response to the other’s presence.
“As soon as it arrived,” he said in a carefully clipped tone, arranging the files according to date and placed them in a neat stack to one side of his desk for his 3rd seat to send to the 1st Division come morning. Then he pulled another handful of documents from the shelves behind him and started to arrange them in the same fashion. All this he did without looking at the brunet across his desk.
If it made Hisagi want to kill something, he didn’t let on. Instead, he grabbed a chair and sat down, tossing the file he had brought onto the blond’s desk. It opened to the page that had caught the brunet’s attention earlier and the grim descriptions glared up at the two of them almost accusatorily. “And?” Hisagi asked.
Kira arched a brow and pulled the file to him, scanning the first page before finally looking at Hisagi. His face was blank and his voice, carefully neutral, as he said: “And what?”
The brunet frowned. “It’s a level 5 assignment. Direct action: search and destroy.” He shook his head. “I don’t suppose that concerns you.”
“It’s nothing I haven’t done before.”
“Who did you ask for as my replacement?” Hisagi asked quickly, abruptly changing topics and Kira mind reeled to keep up.
“Matsumoto-san,” he answered then shook his head sharply. “Hisagi-san, I don’t know what you’re getting at but it’s getting late and I have work to do-”
“I rescind my request to send in a replacement,” the brunet said suddenly. “I’m going with you.”
Kira didn’t miss a beat. “No,” he said darkly. “You’re not.” He slammed the now chronologically arranged set of files on top of the previous one and stood up. “What’s gotten into you?” He snapped, placing his hands on his hips. He looked at the brunet reproachfully.
Hisagi matched his glare and leapt to his feet, pointing at the file. “This is what’s gotten into me.” Anomalous readings, human casualties, missing shinigami who were probably all dead. “Has Rangiku-san even read it yet?”
“I sent her my copy as soon as I was done with it. She should have finished it by now; she’s more responsible than anyone gives her credit for. You know that.” Kira tilted his head to one side and frowned as a thought came into mind. “But if you’re worried about her I can try to find someone else. It won’t be easy, though; she volunteered.”
“God damn it, Kira, I’m not worried about her. I worried about you!” Hisagi said and it wasn’t until the echo of his own voice died down that he realized he had yelled. He glared at the blond, as if it was Kira’s fault. “I rescind my request to send a replacement,” he repeated calmly. He let the words hang in the air.
The younger shinigami pursed his lips and didn’t speak right away. When he finally did, Hisagi knew he had lost. “You can’t rescind something you’ve already signed,” Kira said quietly. “And I’ve already sent the forms to the 1st Division. I’m sorry,” he said in a voice that didn’t sound sorry at all. “You’re not coming with me.”
Hisagi threw his hands up in the air. “There’s no getting through to you, is there?”
“Well, you look like you could use a break.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He asked, and Kira looked at him pointedly. Then Hisagi remembered that he had come barging in here straight after his previous assignment. He looked down at himself and saw that his shihakushou was tattered, stained, and reeking of Hollow blood. Suddenly Satsuya trying to stop him from coming here made sense and he blushed in spite of himself. “Routine patrol with minor setbacks,” he said simply. “No big deal. Unlike that,” he nodded toward the file still on Kira’s table.
The blond rubbed his hands over his face and groaned tiredly. He fought for control. “I’ll be fine, Shuuhei, but I appreciate your concern.” Then he lowered his hands and looked at the older shinigami. “Don’t worry about me.”
Like I could, Hisagi thought. Then he smirked as Yumichika’s words from earlier came to mind. “Is it heavy?” He asked.
Kira looked confused. “Is what heavy?”
“All that pride.”
The blond’s jaw dropped and his face flushed before he regained his composure. His eyes darkened abruptly. Every muscle in his body seemed to tighten. “Need I remind you that all this was your idea?” He asked coldly, and the temperature in the room seemed to drop along with the bottom of the brunet’s stomach. Silence hung thickly between them until Hisagi swallowed and softly said: “It won’t be long now.” He looked into Kira’s eyes and willed him to understand. “You’ll see.”
The blond was taken aback by the gentleness in the older shinigami’s voice and it suddenly made him even angrier. Trust Hisagi to make him feel like this was all his fault. “I wasn’t aware that this arrangement was temporary,” he said harshly.
Hisagi bridled in response to Kira’s hostility. “So it’s like that now?” He snapped before he could stop himself. He felt his pulse rising, his face heating up. This is why he hated arguing with Kira. He always lost. “Forget I said anything,” he said. This is going nowhere, he thought to himself. Stay calm, stay calm. He’s just being defensive. You hurt him, remember?
He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. This wasn’t supposed to be a fight. They didn’t work together, yes. They didn’t talk to each other or even look at each other. But this wasn’t supposed to be a fight; they weren’t supposed to hate each other. Fuck, what have I done? When did it get this bad?
“Do what you like, Kira,” He said finally, defeated. “I didn’t come here to pick a fight.” He turned and started for the door, wounded pride in tow. Anger and concern churned inside him, taking turns in coming to the fore. Part of him wanted to shout at Kira for being such an obstinate brat while another knew it was his fault. A level five assignment was serious; the two of them only ever carried them out together, and he wasn’t comfortable with the idea that they weren’t going to now-especially for reasons such as theirs.
“Then why did you come here?” Kira asked just as Hisagi’s fingers closed around the doorknob. The brunet turned around.
“I came here because you’re running straight into a dangerous mission with barely any intel to see you through, and I don’t like it. Not if you’re going without me.”
The blond visibly relaxed at his softened tone and Hisagi thought he saw a flicker of self-reproach in Kira’s blue eyes. But Kira’s resolve had always been made of steel and that wasn’t going to change any time soon, least of all now. “I’m not a child that needs looking after, Shuu,” he said. “Matsumoto-san and I can handle this. Trust me.”
“I do.”
Kira ducked his head at that. He opened his mouth to say something but then seemed to hesitate, as though reconsidering his words. Finally he nodded to himself before looking at Hisagi again. “If that will be all, Hisagi-fukutaichou.” He gave the brunet a short bow then gestured to the door with his eyes. There was no trace of anger in his voice. Just a profound sense of finality that was infinitely worse.
Hisagi knew a dismissal when he saw one. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, that’s it.” He turned and twisted the knob in his hand, the click of the door opening all but deafening to his ears. You’ve made your bed, Hisagi told himself. Now lie in it. He shook his head and pushed past the door quickly, slamming it shut much too loudly in his wake. Then he paused outside the door for a second...two seconds...three...before storming down the hall and savagely crushing the hope that his friend would call him back.
Friend. Kira was still one of those...right?
~
Kira listened to his footsteps fade into silence and sank back into his chair with an exasperated sigh. Guilt and regret gnawed at him. He was angry, yes-he was still hurting after all-and talking to the older shinigami only reminded how much. He recalled the fleeting sense of satisfaction he had felt when he dismissed Hisagi, and it left a bitter taste in his mouth.
The truth was he hadn’t wanted to talk to Hisagi the way he did. He didn’t want to be angry-things were bad enough between them-but it was all he could do: refuse the offer, the blatant admission of concern, no matter how much he wanted to believe them-or rather accept them, because he did believe them and that only made it everything harder.
He still cares about me, he thought and then wondered why it surprised him when he had never doubted it, not even for an instant, despite what had happened between them. And yet it wasn’t enough. Kira couldn’t just forgive and forget; not at the expense of his self-respect. Hisagi only wanted to work with him for this particular assignment to...what? Make sure nothing went wrong? That Kira did it right? And what did he mean when he said it wouldn’t be long now? It wouldn’t be long until what? What exactly was Hisagi waiting for? And if Kira had said yes, if only to this assignment, would things change between them or would Hisagi continue sending in replacements for easier and less dangerous missions?
There were too many questions and no one to answer them, though Hisagi might have tried if he had been given the chance. Kira sighed and pulled the latest mission briefing to him, flipping through its pages absently. For some reason it felt heavier than it did only a few hours ago and Hisagi’s voice suddenly rang out in his mind.
Is it heavy? All that pride?
Kira shook his head. What do you want from me, Hisagi Shuuhei? He mentally asked his friend as the image of the brunet turning his back to him and walking away for a second time replayed in his head.
When I get back, he decided, tightening his grip on the file. We’ll talk about this when I get back.
TBC.
Read Chapter Four here.
A/N: Hmmmmm...now that I think about it, I don't think anyone is following this story anymore! XD Guys, I am SO sorry this is taking me so long! Bear with me! /_\