Touch This Hair

[wintercelestial]

Title: Touch This Hair
Rating: g
Genre: fluff
Pairing: unrequited sekaiho woops, seho, sukai
Summary: Sehun, Sehun's favourite hyung, jealous baby Jongin; a head full of blond hair and some awful middle partings.


Joonmyun somehow manages to be nervous, excited and freaking out all at the time.

“I’m going to be blond tomorrow,” he says, sitting on the couch in a daze. “This is weird. The fans are going to think I’m trying to be badass. What if my hair falls out?”

Sehun’s internal hyung-is-sad radar beeps like mad and he shoots into the lounge, half-eaten bowl of ramyun in his hands and chopsticks jammed into the corner of his mouth.

“That’s not true,” he protests around the chopsticks, “the fans will love it!”

Jongin’s internal Sehun-is-trying-to-suck-up-to-hyung-again radar goes off and he pokes his head into the room to give his two cents on the situation.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “They’ll be dying for your sexy image, hyung. Your hair’s not going to fall out, trust me.”

Joonmyun opens his mouth to reply but Sehun cuts in.

“Some of my hair fell out,” he says pointedly, and Joonmyun looks a tad horrified. “Shut up, Jongin, you don’t even know anything.”

Jongin runs his hands through his own hair, which has been bleached again in preparation for their Overdose promotions. “I’m blond, asshole. Don’t tell me I know nothing about my hair.”

“I’ve been blond longer than you,” Sehun snipes.

“Drier than the Sahara desert,” Jongin says cattily.

“Baekhyun’s Pantene fixed that in two days.”

Joonmyun groans under a pile of cushions and escapes by crawling along the floor. He’s on his own now.

“I was better blond than you ever will be,” Sehun yells. He’s currently brunet but he knows the fangirls are busy cooing over his hair, which looks like it’s made a return from his MAMA era days. “I bet that’s why Joonmyun-hyung likes me more than you.”

Jongin folds his arms across his chest. “He’s not somebody who likes a person for their looks,” he scoffs. “Right… hyung?”

There’s no response.

“Why did you tell him your hair fell out?” Jongin shrieks, leaping at Sehun, hands outstretched. The youngest manages to save his ramyun by shoving it onto a nearby coffee table, cursing and flailing as he gets knocked to the ground and the two of them start fighting like teenage girls. “You scared him off!”

“I was just telling the truth!” Sehun whines. “I’d never like you back if you always lied to my face!”

Jongin “Pfft. Who even said he likes you?”

They’re crushing bad, alright.

They make peace by tomorrow morning, huddling together in vigil on the couch and praying for strength to guide Joonmyun through his trip to the hairdresser (which he had insisted he do alone). They wonder if he’s going to be okay, or if he’s spazzed out already, or maybe he’s busy bribing the manager with money so he can pick a different colour.

“What if he really doesn’t like it?” Jongin says worriedly.

“I’ll just tell him it suits him. Obviously,” Sehun adds. “Duh,”

Jongin rolls his eyes. Joonmyun always sides with Sehun, always believes whatever he has to say, always buys him bubble tea and dotes on him and buys him food. He buys Jongin food too, not that he’s complaining, but it’s hard when you’re not young and your group leader likes the young ones. Only on bad days when he’s really jealous does he pull the “hyung, my waist hurts, can you massage it for me” excuse - and then he scores Joonmyun (and his hands) all over him for several precious, beautiful hours.

Sehun nervously spoons some pudding he stole from Chanyeol’s shelf in the fridge into his mouth. “He’s taking a really long time,” he notes.

“Maybe he’s already home and trying to avoid us,” Jongin nibbles on his lower lip, uncertain. “What if his hair actually did fall out- ”

The dorm’s door unlocks and they can hear the trademark sound of Joonmyun pattering around, reorganizing the shoes and accidentally dropping his keys and then bumping his head on the corner of the shoe rack while bending down to pick them up.

“Get ready,” Sehun breathes, shifting closer as Jongin offers to hold him for emotional support. “He’s going to be so hot.”

Joonmyun comes in to find them hugging each other the couch. He is thoroughly confused.

He’s also wearing a snapback that covers most of, if not all, his newly blond hair. It’s about as anti-climactic as it can get and Jongin groans in disappointment.

Joonmyun shrinks a little, knowing that they’re looking. “It’s a bit different,” he says, embarrassed and pink-cheeked. “I’m not really used to it yet.” He peers at them, eyebrows drawing together. “Why are you two sitting like that?”

“No reason,” Jongin and Sehun reply, scrambling away from each other and trying to look normal. They both try to get a better view of Joonmyun’s hair as they follow him into the kitchen but the odd strand that peeks out here and there isn’t worth seeing, so they retreat to the lounge.

“Should I just ask him to take it off?” Sehun whispers.

“No, he’ll think you’re being a creep,” Jongin shakes his head. “Let him take it off himself. We’re all gonna see it eventually.”

Jongin and Sehun end up tracking Joonmyun around the dorm for the rest of the day, through dance practice and even through their Korean bbq dinner but their leader is adamant, keeping his snapback jammed tight onto his head. The usually nosy Baekhyun’s been blond before so he’s hardly fascinated, and neither Chanyeol nor Kyungsoo really care.

“This is a little weird, even for you,” Jongin elbows Sehun in the side. They’re loitering around outside the bathroom door, pretending they’re having an idle chat while waiting for Joonmyun to finish his shower.

“Shh,” Sehun hisses. Hopefully, when Joonmyun comes out, they’ll get to see his new hair. He can’t possibly get out of this one by wearing his hat in the shower. Luhan judges them hard on his way to the toilet.

The bathroom door unlocks after a long wait and Sehun whistles a happy tune like he hasn’t been crouching outside for the past fifteen minutes. “Oh, hyung, good timing! I was just going to use the show-Zitao?”

“Huh?” Zitao looks at them oddly, bottles of shampoo and conditioner in one hand and his favourite leopard print towel in the other. “Were you waiting for me?”

Sehun thumps his head against the wall before flapping his hands at Zitao, shooing him away. “Goddammit, stop showering with everybody!” he complains after him.

“Sehun?” Joonmyun’s voice floats out from the bathroom. “Did I just hear you?”

Sehun and Jongin perk up from their positions on either side of the door, both whipping their heads around and their skulls bouncing off each other’s with a loud crack.

Jongin’s vision is blurry and his eyes are swimming in tears, and the last thing he sees before he blacks out is Joonmyun standing with a towel wrapped around his waist, blond wet hair swept to the side and dripping water down his marble Adonis body (and Sehun moaning “sex god” repeatedly beside him as he too, blacks out).

Jongin jerks awake at the taste of something horribly sour in his mouth. Baekhyun’s standing over him, holding several lemon wedges and about to squeeze the juice of another piece. He’s lying down on the couch, Sehun having already returned to consciousness next to him. His head throbs slightly.

“What happened?” he asks groggily.

“You retards bumped your heads and passed out for twenty minutes,” Baekhyun informs him, gathering up all his lemon wedges and going back to the kitchen.

“Did you see it?” Sehun demands.

“See what?” Jongin asks, cocking his head.

“His hair! Was it sexy?”

“His… hair?” Jongin scrunches up his face. He just remembers banging his head and lemons. Not much else. “Uh, not really. I thought you were looking!”

“I can’t remember very clearly,” Sehun mutters. “Otherwise I wouldn’t ask you.”

They go looking for Joonmyun, who’s in his room that he shares with Kyungsoo. It sounds like the hairdryer’s going at full speed and Sehun can imagine all that warm air sifting through Joonmyun’s pretty blond hair and he wishes he was Kyungsoo.

“How come everybody’s seen it except us?” Jongin grumbles. “This isn’t fair.”

Doors opening at inopportune times seems to be a thing today, because the next thing they know is Joonmyun’s door swinging open and the man himself is standing there.

Sehun and Jongin gape at him for what is probably an inappropriate amount of time before one of them realizes it’s actually Kyungsoo blowdrying his hair and not Joonmyun. They sit down on the floor and clutch at their chests.

“What’s wrong with you two?” Joonmyun asks. He leaves his room and tries to not accidentally step on them. “Come on, stop blocking the hallway. I need to make my stress relief tea.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Sehun says dreamily.

Joonmyun’s wearing a ratty old tank and sweatpants that have seen better days, but his hair is golden and tidily combed down, bangs to the side so he can see and in the name of all things holy, he is sexy.

“I didn’t think you could ever look this good,” Sehun breathes.

Joonmyun raises an eyebrow. Even that’s sexy and so, so dom. Jongin feels his heart lurch in sixteen different directions. “Is that supposed to be a compliment, Sehun?”

“Wait, I mean- ”

“I like it, it suits you,” Jongin corrects him. He’s going to take this chance collect some brownie points. “It’s a really good change. Can I touch it?”

Joonmyun’s cheeks go slightly pink. “Okay...”

Jongin grins and touches it. Joonmyun’s hair is soft and silky after a good dose of shampoo and conditioner and he has to stop himself from gushing aloud. Sehun watches on in horror, offended that Joonmyun would let Jongin touch his hair when he could have asked Sehun, and sticks out his own hand to pat Joonmyun’s hair too.

“It’s so nice,” he says in wonder.

It’s awesome.

“Guys,” Joonmyun says flatly, after being relentlessly petted like a cat, “you’ve been doing this for like five minutes already.”

Sehun slaps Jongin’s hand away. “Stop touching him,” he says, trying to make Jongin look bad. “He doesn’t like it.”

Joonmyun’s expression is the one he always wears when he knows the maknaes are about to fight - a combination of an eye-roll, a cringe and “oh god, not again”. He runs away to make his stress relief tea and leaves them standing in awe in the hall.

“Did you see that?” Jongin crows excitedly. “He was so happy when I said I liked it.”

Sehun sniffs. “He doesn’t like you,” he says nastily. “You touched him for too long.”

“When he said to stop he was actually talking to you,” Jongin retorts.

“He likes me more than you. He’d never ask me to stop.” Sehun harrumphs and turns to go to his room.

He and Jongin make peace by the next morning. They follow Joonmyun around again, cooing at his hair since he’s foregone the snapback today and fanboying to each other about how good he looks. But they mostly follow him around because they don’t want the other person to get more time with Joonmyun. Everything that their leader does has somehow become a hundred times hotter today.

Sexy blond cook in an apron, flipping eggs and bacon that smell like heaven.

Sexy blond cleaner, taking out the trash with his arm muscles bulging as he carries the bag of rubbish out the dorm.

It comes abruptly to an end because they’re starting the filming for the Overdose MV and teasers today. Joonmyun’s self-consciousness sinks back in and three things happen.

He wears a beanie for half the recordings and Jongin and Sehun want to cry.

He takes off the beanie and Sehun and Jongin want to light themselves on fire. It’d probably hurt less than the feels they’re having right now. They get distracted and mess up their steps and the director shouts every time they have to do a retake because Sehun accidentally stepped on Chanyeol’s foot or Jongin nearly knocks someone over while doing his pirouette.

And then thirdly, Joonmyun does the scene where he’s slamming his fists on the invisible wall - and to the boys’ abject horror, his hair is parted down the centre like a middle-aged grandpa. It’s reminiscent of all the middle parts the members have been subjected to in the past, and Joonmyun looks like the newest victim.

Sehun wipes non-existent tears from his eyes and clutches Jongin’s shoulders. “What did he do to deserve that hair?” he wails. “It’s terrible.”

“Awful,” Jongin nods, traumatized.

“What’s awful?” Joonmyun asks, towelling the sweat from his neck. One of the stylists chases after him so she can do touch-ups.

“Your h- ” Sehun begins, before Jongin slaps a hand over his mouth.

“Your hot pink pants,” Jongin interrupts. “That pair you wore to the airport once. They were awful.”

“Oh.” Joonmyun is, sadly, used to comments that poke fun at his fashion. Half the time it’s the fault of the stylists, but the other half of the time he only has himself to blame.

“You’re such an asshole!” Jongin punches Sehun in the arm once Joonmyun’s gone. “I can’t believe you were going to say his hair was bad.”

“But it was,” Sehun moans pathetically. “It’s horrible.”

“It’s probably just a one-off thing,” Jongin tries to reassure him. Inside, he’s busy praying this will never happen again. “Forget about it, okay?”

“But every time I watch the MV I’ll have to see hyung’s hair…”

“Hey, Sehun, look this way!” Chanyeol approaches Sehun with a video cam in hand, zooming up unnecessarily on his face as he fires off questions. “What do you think about our new comeback?”

Sehun’s answer is already prepared. “I’m really excited. I can’t wait to show our fans a new image,” he replies, plastering a smile on his face. It’s a standard, run-of-the-mill response.

“Awesome. What about your image? In EXO, whose image do you think has changed the most?”

Sehun shrugs. “Suho-hyung is still the most handsome, but this time his hair’s really different. It’s… wow,” he says, without really thinking properly. Satisfied, Chanyeol bounds off to annoy Kris about his rap.

Sehun feels eyes on him and he spins around to find both Jongin and Joonmyun. Jongin is gaping at him and trying to send him a hundred messages with his eyes - oh my god Sehun, you know what you just said is going to be broadcasted right, you idiot, how much obvious could you be about hyung - but Sehun’s just smug that he got to compliment Joonmyun and Jongin didn’t. The more he blabs about his leader the more his fans are going to ship them together, and he hopes that one day Seho will prevail over Sukai.

Sehun is a terrible person.

“I heard that, maknae,” Joonmyun teases him, and the boy’s face goes slightly pink, “but my hair is hardly all that much wow.” He stands up on his tip-toes and endearingly has to stretch in order to ruffle Sehun’s hair. “So cute, Sehunnie! You sounded like a teenage boy with a crush.”

Jongin simmers with jealousy. Ugh. He’s gotta get the upperhand in this, and fast.

Joonmyun’s words seem to bolster Sehun’s confidence tenfold because all Sehun does for the rest of that filming day is follow Joonmyun around some more, dropping random compliments about random things at random times. Hyung, you did that move even better than Jongin. Hyung, your pants are really nice.

Jongin is stuck with having to listen to his fanboying and by the time they get back to the dorm that night, he’s ready to rip his hair out by the roots. He’s stuck rooming with Sehun too, and the gushing never stops.

“I swear, Jongin. If he was going to make those bedroom eyes at the camera one more time…”

Jongin gets up extra early the next day, a plan fresh in his mind. He works quickly but quietly, whipping up enough breakfast to feed K dorm (he considers ‘forgetting’ Sehun’s breakfast but Joonmyun doesn’t like selfish people) before anyone else wakes up. He fills up their drink bottles and sets out snacks on the bench so they’ll be ready to go for dance practice. He’s busy making a coffee for himself when he hears the shuffle of slippers on the carpet and Joonmyun’s standing there, dressed in his nightgown and rubbing his eyes with the back of his fist.

“Jongin?” he mumbles drowsily. “You made all of this?”

Jongin almost forgets that he’s being asked a question because he’s too busy staring. Joonmyun’s blond hair has turned into fluffy bedhead, sticking out in little tufts in as many directions as possible and he’s blinking like a sleepy kitten. He’s absolutely adorable and Jongin internally screams.

“Hyung, you’re still really cute even if you’re blond,” he laughs, and then jams his fist in his mouth because oh god, that pretty much sounded like a confession.

Luckily (or unluckily), Joonmyun is denser than a tree. He doesn’t catch on but blushes madly instead, reaching up to pat Jongin’s cheek, and Jongin’s heart explodes into unicorns and sparkly things. Sehun chooses that moment to walk in, and his face of envy is the stuff of Jongin’s sweetest dreams.

Today’s showcase day.

“Shit,” Sehun breathes, eyes fixed on Joonmyun in the make-up chair. “Jongin, hold my hand.”

“Hold your own hand.” Jongin moves to slap his fingers away but he’s not even looking in Sehun’s direction and ends up smacking his hand on the wall instead. He watches the stylist noona tame the last of Joonmyun’s blond strands into place and give him a good spritz of hair spray, and then Joonmyun’s finished and standing up so he can bow and thank her for her work.

“Hyung’s hair is up,” Sehun says faintly. “I can see his forehead.”

“He’s wearing leather pants,” Jongin mumbles. He’s about to wipe his sweaty forehead until he remembers he’s going to get in trouble if he ruins his makeup. “His butt’s rounder than a mooncake.”

It’s hard to dance properly when one is distracted, Sehun and Jongin discover once again as their attentions deviate from their dancing. Minseok’s foot gets stepped on at least twice and Sehun cringes a little inside because Luhan-hyung’s going to find out somehow and yell at him for not being careful enough. It’s just that Joonmyun looks so good that-

“I think I’m going to pass out,” Sehun whines dramatically during their quick break. “Hyung’s too hot.”

“His hair is doing things to me,” Jongin groans, and even Zitao is giving them weird glances.

Thankfully, the showcase finishes without any further hitches and the two boys don’t hesitate in piling on the praise when the group’s back in the dorms for the night.

“Hyung, you were unbelievable today- ”

“Oh, really? Why, thank you Jong- ”

“Hyung, you’re going to have more fangirls than us soon- ”

“Ha ha, that’s not true! You have more noona fans than I do, Sehunnie. I think- ”

“You two, get out and let Joonmyun-hyung go to sleep.” Kyungsoo promptly pushes them out the door.

But as all things that go up must come down, slight changes start occurring.

“God, what is he doing?” Jongin gapes at their leader. “Sehun, hold my hand.”

“I’m already holding your hand.” They’re watching Joonmyun getting his hair done for their performance that night. He waves his hand at the stylist and points at various parts of his head as if he’s suggesting a different hair style.

Five minutes later and he’s up and ready to go, hair brushed and hair-sprayed into a tidy middle part.

“Oh, not again.” Jongin looks appalled. “I hate it when they do that to my hair, and hyung just went and asked for it?” He turns to Sehun, who doesn’t look too good.

“I hope it’s just a one-time thing,” Sehun places his hands together in some sort of prayer.

“That’s what I said last time too…”

It’s not a one-time thing. It happens repeatedly at music show after performance after fansign, and quite frankly it’s disconcerting.

“No,” Sehun mutters, stalking around EXO’s waiting room. They have their M Countdown performance today. “No, no, no.”

A nearby stylist catches him and puts him in her make-up chair after she’s done with installing Joonmyun’s horrendous middle part again. Jongin’s in the corner muttering about how bad it is and skitters away every time Joonmyun comes near him with his ahjussi hair.

“How do we tell him without being rude?” Sehun wonders several nights later. Jongin plops down next to him with a giant bowl of popcorn and yells for Chanyeol to hurry up and put the DVD in.

“I dunno,” he replies unhelpfully. “Maybe we should tell him it’s the worst thing ever- ”

Joonmyun comes back with the bottle of Coke he’d gone to retrieve and Jongin’s lips zip shut in fear. Chanyeol finally gets the DVD in and takes a seat on the other couch with Baekhyun, throwing his legs up onto the upholstery and making Baekhyun scream about smelly feet.

“Oh,” Joonmyun says. He’s left without a seat. “I’ll go and get a- ”

“No, hyung, sit here,” Jongin and Sehun cut in at the same time. “We’ll make room for you.” Jongin pushes Sehun over until the latter’s squished into the arm of the couch and cursing all of Jongin’s ancestors for eternity. No way is Joonmyun-hyung going to sit on Jongin’s side. He shoves back hard until there’s a gap in the middle of the couch.

Joonmyun’s already come back with a chair from the kitchen, having wandered off while the two youngest were fighting it out. Baekhyun shushes them and turns up the volume.

“Hey,” Joonmyun says half way through the movie. Chanyeol’s snoring and Baekhyun’s drooling onto his shirt.

Sehun stiffens and swivels his head around slowly. “Are we in trouble?” he asks in a small voice. Jongin’s busy floating in and out of consciousness on the other end of the couch.

“Oh, not at all.” Joonmyun waves a hand and takes a sip of his drink. “You two have been a little strange today. A little strange recently, too. Is there something you wanted to talk about? I’m here, you know, you can say anything you like.”

“Your sucky middle part,” Jongin mumbles, sighing. Telling Joonmyun is actually pretty easy. This dream is really nice and it’s warm in the room and he’s snuggly and cozy where he is at the moment, tucked away in the couch. Joonmyun would probably get offended in reality.

He bolts upright to see Sehun staring at him, eyes wide as coins.

“Shit,” Jongin gasps. He slaps a hand over his mouth. “I said it, didn’t I.”

“We’re going to die,” Sehun whimpers.

Joonmyun just looks a little surprised.  “My hair?” He seems relieved if not anything else. “Oh. I thought I’d done something to get on your bad sides.”

Sehun and Jongin scramble to reassure him that he’s done absolutely nothing wrong, but Joonmyun shushes them before they can say a word.

“Actually,” he says proudly, “I got the idea of the middle part from Sehun.”
Sehun is baffled. “From me?”

“You had your hair in a middle part for so long so I thought it must’ve been popular with the fans.” Joonmyun nods along with his reasoning. “So I thought I’d take a leaf out of your book and try to be a little hip and modern, you know. Is it working?” he adds.
Jongin rounds on Sehun.

“I don’t have anything to do with this!” Sehun insists. “I just did that to my hair because I didn’t know what else to do with it! How was I supposed to know that hyung was going to - ow, Jongin, that hurts!”