vail-kagami: Between (Jack/Ten) [G]
Title: Between
Author:
vail_kagami
Challenge: alien
Rating: G
Spoilers/warnings: None
Summary: After being reunited with the Doctor, Jack grows up, every time.
Note: Unbetaed, due to me being very much internetless for the rest of the month.
There was a fantasy Jack indulged every once in a while, when he saw the Doctor after a long absence. Absence made the heart grow fonder, they said - in Jack’s case that was not true. He got caught up in his own life, to the point where felt like he could go in this life forever and the Doctor was but a distant memory. And then he would see him again, and travel with him, and every day he watched the charismatic Time Lord, he would remember how fascinating he was. Every time he saw him save a world, or dance across the console of his TARDIS, or bounce across the surface of a new planet, Jack would fall in love anew. Until he couldn’t imagine leaving ever again.
Of course, he always did.
It was the time in between he cherished. It was the time in between too, that cured him of the little fantasy he liked to indulge, every now and then, when he hadn’t seen the Doctor in ages.
The Doctor would show up, and Jack would remember all of a sudden the very adolescent, very fierce crush he had on him. And like a teenager he would lie awake, in his first night back in the TARDIS, and imagine leaving his bed. In his fantasy he walked through the ship until he found the Doctor, and he would grab the surprised Time Lord, and pin him against the wall, and he would kiss him. The Doctor of his fantasy would be stunned at first, but he would get over his surprise and return Jack’s kiss, would wrap his arms around Jack’s neck, and Jack would pick him up and carry him and his dream to the bedroom.
And every time he would return to reality with the determination to make this dream come true before his time with the Doctor was over.
But with each passing day, with each day of watching the Doctor save planets and kittens, walk on air and dive in danger and love it, his determination wavered. Because there was something about the Doctor that was a little bit off, a little bit beyond his reach and the range of his vision. While the smiles and the anger and the passion were real, they served to hide the alien inside, the person beyond Jack’s understanding. And he could not feel rejected by the Doctor never truly being himself with Jack around, for the glimpses he caught between the folds made him feel lost; he was in way over his head.
It was the glimpses that made him let go of his dream, over an over again. It was the glimpses that fascinated him, that made him shiver, that made him leave. The process was the same every time: Jack let go of the Doctor, Jack reunited with the Doctor and fell for him again, nurturing his childish crush until he grew up and left to be with someone who lived in the same world as him. The circle repeated endlessly, and Jack was satisfied at every point of it. He let go only when he was ready.
He wanted the Doctor, always, but in between the coming and the going he learned to overcome his desire, let go of the alien and be satisfied with the part of the Doctor he could reach and take with him when he left.
August 24, 2009
Author:
vail_kagami
Challenge: alien
Rating: G
Spoilers/warnings: None
Summary: After being reunited with the Doctor, Jack grows up, every time.
Note: Unbetaed, due to me being very much internetless for the rest of the month.
There was a fantasy Jack indulged every once in a while, when he saw the Doctor after a long absence. Absence made the heart grow fonder, they said - in Jack’s case that was not true. He got caught up in his own life, to the point where felt like he could go in this life forever and the Doctor was but a distant memory. And then he would see him again, and travel with him, and every day he watched the charismatic Time Lord, he would remember how fascinating he was. Every time he saw him save a world, or dance across the console of his TARDIS, or bounce across the surface of a new planet, Jack would fall in love anew. Until he couldn’t imagine leaving ever again.
Of course, he always did.
It was the time in between he cherished. It was the time in between too, that cured him of the little fantasy he liked to indulge, every now and then, when he hadn’t seen the Doctor in ages.
The Doctor would show up, and Jack would remember all of a sudden the very adolescent, very fierce crush he had on him. And like a teenager he would lie awake, in his first night back in the TARDIS, and imagine leaving his bed. In his fantasy he walked through the ship until he found the Doctor, and he would grab the surprised Time Lord, and pin him against the wall, and he would kiss him. The Doctor of his fantasy would be stunned at first, but he would get over his surprise and return Jack’s kiss, would wrap his arms around Jack’s neck, and Jack would pick him up and carry him and his dream to the bedroom.
And every time he would return to reality with the determination to make this dream come true before his time with the Doctor was over.
But with each passing day, with each day of watching the Doctor save planets and kittens, walk on air and dive in danger and love it, his determination wavered. Because there was something about the Doctor that was a little bit off, a little bit beyond his reach and the range of his vision. While the smiles and the anger and the passion were real, they served to hide the alien inside, the person beyond Jack’s understanding. And he could not feel rejected by the Doctor never truly being himself with Jack around, for the glimpses he caught between the folds made him feel lost; he was in way over his head.
It was the glimpses that made him let go of his dream, over an over again. It was the glimpses that fascinated him, that made him shiver, that made him leave. The process was the same every time: Jack let go of the Doctor, Jack reunited with the Doctor and fell for him again, nurturing his childish crush until he grew up and left to be with someone who lived in the same world as him. The circle repeated endlessly, and Jack was satisfied at every point of it. He let go only when he was ready.
He wanted the Doctor, always, but in between the coming and the going he learned to overcome his desire, let go of the alien and be satisfied with the part of the Doctor he could reach and take with him when he left.
August 24, 2009