Mine and Yours
Mine and Yours
Donghae-Jessica
Angst
A heartbreaking timeline of the two through the years.
“I love you,” she whispered sadly.
He answered with a sigh. “But you don’t want to.”
2004.
He throws a paper airplane into the air, blowing it as much as he can until it floats all on its own and lands perfectly, if not purposely, on the head of this sleeping girl. Waking up at the sudden discomfort, she rubs her head and suddenly remembers they are still inside a meeting, one of her few friends in the newbie section nudging her ribs.
“Yes, Hyoyeon?”
Knowing that she was blaming her, the girl points with her lips to a certain boy, a cap over his head and eyes nearly drowned in it, winks at her at once.
“Who’s the boy, Sooyeon?”
“Met him during singing lessons,” she answers charmingly, eyes still on him. “He’s name is Donghae.”
Apparently, trying to put her attention to somewhere else, Sooyeon looks at her slightly groggy state, and then ends up finding the paper airplane.
Hyoyeon continues paying attention to the CEO of the company talking about future preferences. Sooyeon opens it and smiles to herself.
2005.
“Babo Bada!” she yells at him and sticks her tongue out. He starts chuckling the moment he sees Sooyeon doing this, then touches her cheek with his two long fingers, somewhat pinching it on his own. She swats this away in playful irritation.
“There’s my pretty Sica,” he says almost in a tiresome way, sitting next to her on the chairs she must have pulled out. He is sweating, naturally after that jumpy performance, but he immediately wipes them upon seeing the girl visit him for the first time. Debuting for the first time, Donghae feels like time is too swift for both, and they are very much closer now than before.
The other boys, particularly the other members of Super Junior, sees them as they pass by the hall, teasing and whispering and laughing to see the two look so romantically like a couple.
“Eh, Donghae-sshi!” calls one of his friends. “I didn’t know you’re dating the American girl!”
“Shut up, Hyukjae!” he shouts back, laughing and now crouching with his arms by his lap. He looks back to see her reaction, happy now because she goes to the expected, and only she can make that kind of satisfaction.
Sooyeon rolls her eyes, struggling with her backpack in search for the two lunchboxes she has prepared earlier on. “I made lunch!” Smiling, Donghae takes one of it gratefully.
“What about your training?”
She shrugs. “I got away with this by telling them I had a bad tummy ache.”
Happy, he puts his arm around her shoulder and plants a small kiss on the side of her head. “You’re the sweetest.”
Being hungry, Donghae opens it and smiles to himself.
-
2006
The silence of the huge office shuts off the noise they can hear from the moment they would step out of it. Undeniably, her heart is pounding, up and down, on her chest as powerful as if it can reverse mistakes she made. Hands to herself, she stares at her feet twitching below, and a few centimeters away are his, also seemingly trembling. She knows him for years now, of course she can sense whether he is a little nervous or totally dying.
Without another word, she slips her hands into his, just behind her huge pink handbag, and he accepts them so musingly without showing any facial expression except a warm glance at her.
A smile falls on her face, a little one in fact, as the executive chief starts reprimanding them of their relationship status.
“It’s either you break up or leave the company,” Lee Sooman counters, the two suddenly attentive and eyes widening.
“That’s unfair,” mutters Donghae shyly, getting a strong press from her hand. Their interlinked hands are still hidden behind her things and his coat. “What does being a star have to do with being in a relationship? You tell me because I don’t see it. Hollywood actors and actresses date among themselves and it seems okay. Why can’t we? The younger trainees also have relationships that are not yet too obvious.”
Lee Sooman shakes his head. “You should have consulted me first before going out and being...this. You know why I prohibit surfing and using network sites where you can share your lives. She has not even debuted! I understand that your fans are increasing, but so would be Jessica’s haters if they know you two are together.”
Sooyeon. Stop calling her Jessica. And I am hers.
Jessica sighs unsurely. “I understand.”
And for the first time, Donghae hears his heart crack as the girl swiftly let go of his hand, now crossing her arms to her chest and looking down in sorrow. It is hurting her---this decision is making her look weaker that she is. After a few more advices and talks from the CEO, the two exits the office and stands next to each other for a very long time, not either one moving or making a singly beep, staring into nothingness.
Until, just as quickly, Jessica buries her hands into her own pockets and brings out a piece of paper, handing it to Donghae with that sly grin stapled on her face.
Donghae opens it and smiles to himself.
-
2007
“Ah, when it’s Sica...she would be---” he stops talking into the camera when the girl barges in to the room, seeing him and Hyukjae talk endlessly about their days with the new girl group, their counter girl group called Girls’ Generation. “Oh wait, Jessica’s here.” Laughter explodes between the men.
“And then Hyoyeon would be like...” the other one continues, but Donghae’s eyes follows the girl, now shooting him glares as she slides the door open to the other side of the studio.
The short shoot of them ends, and Donghae hurriedly, without much delay after the director yelled cut, scurries to the other room, seeing the props and the mirrors being prompted with Jessica at one corner, out there trying to perfect the moves of their new song called Into the New World.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be doing fine as always.”
She halts at once, both feet on the ground, and the room seems to be evacuated suddenly by the staff of the production. “Not as fine as you.”
“Ah, competition eh, Sica?”
The girl faces him, more provoked than ever. “Just you wait, Babo Bada.”
“That’s my Pretty Sica,” he remarks while sitting on one side. Jessica takes off her jacket, revealing the black tank top underneath it, and then she ties it around her waist.
“We’re already over, remember?” she states it rather painfully; throat betraying her in this scenario and Donghae just shrugs and sits and watches.
“Doesn’t mean I can’t look at you,” Donghae answers at once, getting a little hurt with that statement. Just two months ago, thank you very much for the reminder, Sooyeon. She walks up to him now, nearing him, far too close that while she is standing in front of him, he sits perfectly still, both eyes on each other.
“How about this?” she asks him, her tone tempting in so many ways that Donghae just has to control himself not to grab her and kiss those precious lips. Her hands travel to his side, but only taking the CD beside Donghae. A beam comes then to Jessica’s face, happy and satisfied with the result that the man still wants her so much just by his gaze.
She walks towards the player now and opens the album. She smiles to herself upon seeing it.
-
2008
The director of the music video stares at all of his clips rolling now, the beauty of joyful lollipops and dancing girls that portrays a very dreamy-like feel, but he feels something is amiss in all of it, that it is not yet enough to cut out for the whole.
He claps his hands to call the girls attention, along with and tagging along is the leading man of the MV.
“We need one scene with Donghae that they are sitting in this big pink chair with pink heart pillows. I need this scene to be inserted occasionally into the music video,” the director says.
The other girls nod obediently. “Just one girl?” Yuri raises her hand, eyes already on the girl standing beside her.
“Yes,” answers the director immediately, somewhat rushing. “Donghae, I’ll let you choose who from the nine girls.”
“Seohyun!” Sunny yells, all of the girls laughing at the maknae being teased. Before it faded, their eyes meet into one big bang of a second, and then her smile draws his attention. His heart still beats for her, but he just can’t go on, make a difference, and change back what already happened.
He grins and points at Tiffany, who is one of his friends. “Tiffany’s cool.”
Tiffany? Jessica looks at one of her dearest friend. Is he interested in her?
And for the rest of the shoot, he ignores Jessica completely, like she has never existed, although the girl knew that he is doing this in purpose because he is avoiding her after all. She stands in the doorway, the last one to leave from the eight other rejects perhaps, and looks at the handle before Jessica opens it. This time, a scowl is etched on her face.
-
2009
“Neomu banjjak banjjak nuni bushyeo...”
The music plays incessantly, the confetti falling off from above and unto the set of Music Bank, and the girl, almost all were teary-eyed, bowed in thanks at the people, getting the win for consecutive weeks already.
He approaches her in the middle of the crowd, pulls her wrists this time as she hold the bouquet of flowers and dives in for a strong hug. She embraces him back in nostalgia.
“Congratulations Jessica,” he mentions it, eyeing his hyungs now. I miss you, his eyes bred.
Jessica giggles silently. “Thank you, Donghae.” I missed you more came in her reply.
Babo Bada does not exist anymore, nor does Pretty Sica or Sooyeon. Two different people, two different lives--- this runs across Donghae’s mind each time he sees her: that she is Jessica of Girls’ Generation while he is Donghae, the fishy of Super Junior.
-
2010
“Congratulations,” he mutters---finally seeing the other couples going around and congratulating the awardees. There is Eeteuk, weakened already, his head supported by his arm. He is talking to Taeyeon, the leader of SNSD who is also teary-eyed. It seems both groups ae all crying, tired and proud of each other. They are in the same industry after all, but still the idea that brings their fans into bitter rivalry has possibly also wound up their true feelings.
“Why are you so sorry,” Donghae whispers to her, his head on her shoulder.
Jessica sighs heavily, burying her face intensely by his neck. “I feel...I didn’t expect that we would win it. And I thank you for the support. We don’t deserve this...”
“What are you talking about? You girls deserve it more than anyone in this world,” he moves away, stares at the little girl he grew up to see in his music classes before debut. He always picks her up after her training, and when it is his turn to practice, she quietly sits in the background and hears him sing. At raw time, when Donghae is busy and Heechul will be the one to keep Sica company until the other boy comes back.
That is when they send each other notes such, thoughtful ones, worth every pensive time; saying things like I’m yours and you’re mine.
He wipes her tears, biting his lips when he also feels that sudden twitch in his eyes. “Oppa...don’t cry for me.”
Donghae starts laughing happily, cheerfully, as much as he can when Jessica requested that, and in turn, despite that his tears are so obvious, he shakes his head, cupping her chin. “I won’t cry for you, Sica. It’s not in me to cry.”
She hugs him tightly again. “It’s...also that, oppa. It’s also that. You cry more than I do. I saw you from the stage. You kept smiling but I saw you cry while clapping for me. That was why I stopped the speech, and let Sooyoung-ie take over. I couldn’t resist it. I was happy and sad at the same time.”
“You don’t have to be sad, my Sica,” Donghae plants a kiss at the side of her head, rubbing her back in comfort. “Please...let’s not think about that.”
-
2011
“You know that I love you,” she whispered sadly.
He answered with a sigh. “But you don’t want to.”
And she knew why, she always had, except they wanted it not to happen, to change the impossible. They loved each other too much to let go of the other. She smiled miserably again at him, disappointed at this meeting. She started to walk out, fiddling her hands.
Right away, he grasped her hand, twisting her back to face him, her eyes somewhat annoyed and cold, but still very much hopeful. Nearly teary, he waited, for something, for anything to be honest, but it didn’t happen. Instead, unhappily he pressed her hand strongly, before letting go.
“Mine,” he mumbled. “You’re mine, Sooyeon.”
Upon hearing those words again, even after how many times she had seen it in notes he passed during boring lectures and even in text messages, she manages to smile again at it. “Not anymore.”
“And I’m yours?” he questioned yet again, gripping her tightly.
Her eyes suddenly gave up, tears racing against each other down her pink cheeks. “You used to be.”
A/N: I don't know what's up with all these Haesica fics I'm writing. I must be deprived too much.