Throwing Punches
Throwing Punches
Pairing: Minho-Krystal
Genre: Angst/ AU
To Kim. Lovely innocent Kim.
Soojung wasn’t stupid, and she wasn’t one for boyfriends either. She knew that being in love made one look stupid, and if her sister Sooyeon had taught her anything worth remembeing, perhaps it was the idea of falling. Prince charming, wherever he may be, whether he existed or not, should not be trusted; sometimes prince charmings would not even come out of their fairy tales, those big old cowards.
But Soojung’s life really revolved in a story book, and just maybe that could have been the reason why she believed she could defy looking stupid when she couldn’t, and defy a heart from breaking when it was already proven true.
The big firsts--- first crush, first date, first kiss--- were the trend upon being a high school kid. But Soojung hardly cared, although it was always a bothersome thought that she did not belong here at all. She didn’t have much friends; they went and come. But none remained. It was also another trend she had gotten used to.
Her first year in an average school down south of Incheon was as mundane and as ordinary as a rock. Very boring, Soojung would remind her mother every time she asked about it. Well, it could also be because she didn’t make any friends.
“But my friends are back there, mom.”
“Do you want to come back and study here instead?”
It was cheaper to study in Korea than in America, her mother already cleared that one out, and Sooyeon wanted to be a doctor so badly so studying here meant less effort for their mother, solving her cases with loan sharks.
But she just had to somehow, some time in the future. Soojung sighed over the phone. “If you can afford it again, take me back.”
“Your older sister?”
“She’s doing fine, but comes home late often nowadays,” she told her mom. “After Sooyeon graduates, may I go with her and just study college in San Francisco?”
A soft chuckle that reminded her of home came from the other line. “It must be lonesome living alone with her. If you want it so badly, then I might as well do so.”
“Thank you!” Soojung responded.
“In return, would you please make friends while you’re in high school?”
If it weren't so hard already trying not to be bullied mother “I’ll try.”
Friends she say, Soojung would scoff at it and lock herself immediately inside her room upon hearing the door to the apartment click. It meant Sooyeon had arrived from her shift.
-o0o-
But second year was different, or at least she promised herself it would be. The first few weeks were already a few of the most miserable days in existence, trying to survive school by lurking in the library or somehow hiding in the gym. When both of those places were full, Soojung usually moved to the field and write there. Write? Well, it wasn’t something she was actually fond of, but it really was something Sooyeon her sister had suggested. It was good, practicing the dialect this way than actually speaking. That was, since she had no one to practice it with.
Of course, she was known to be the American girl and her classmates really tried their best to be friends with her, invite her to slumber parties and such, and she always did come. She never declined a party, because Sooyeon also forced her to attend all. But somehow, if it was the way she was raised, she always found these things to be boring. And so other lip glossed lower-intellect tried to mess with her, make fun of her until her popularity went down the so-called status quo. She didn’t mind again, and it bothered her only for a little.
While on the bleachers, as the sun started setting, she was in the desserted field, and the track at one glance seemed like it too, but she later on realized it wasn’t. The funny thing about the field was that despite the wide empty space, it always felt lonesome, and that was something Soojung had liked very much. Solitary.
But he was there. Running excessively as though it profited him, although Soojung couldn’t be so sure about it either anway. He had his black hair reaching his brows, covering a small portion of long lashes perhaps---Soojung couldn’t also quite be assured then if they were long, she was only looking at it from afar. His eyes, though like not of a Korean, were clear and perfect and absolutely stressed, if she wasn’t mistaken. And he ran, his body lean, so straight and firm. Ever since she stayed out late, she hadn't noticed him doing this, or it could be because she was too busy.
The guy finally slowed down, bending, hands both on his knees, sweat dripping on the ground.
To her side was her bag where she kept almost every single kind of tablet or capsule Sooyeon always made her carry. And of course it wouldn’t be complete without a bottle of water, which Soojung thankfully realized she just finished half of it.
Whistling since she didn’t not want to yell at the boy, Soojung called him this way and caught his attention. He looked up and she waved worriedly and rather warily as she set aside her things and finally deciding in nearing him. As she went closer, she realized he was tall, his shoes worn out from chasing around laps.
She handed him the bottle, in which he just gazed at for seconds and panted. Forcibly, Soojung pushed it to his chest and it was still a bit cold on his skin, but he took it and opened.
“See, you’re pretty obedient.”
“Pardon?” he twisted the cap and then took a drink. His arms weren’t slender at all like hers, because the bumps and nuggets were right there, in all the places all the models on TV had, and for someone who had a few meat in them, it didn’t make him look mature for his age at all.
“What are you doing here, anyway? Isn’t the track restricted or something?” She wasn’t good with conversations actually; she was the best at killing them.
He chuckled half-heartedly, closing the bottle and handing it back. “Or you should ask yourself that, little missy.”
She scowled. “Rather rude to call someone that who had just given you water.”
“There’s a drinking fountain over there,” he reasoned out, pointing his lips at the other end of the field.
“Ungrateful,” mumbled Soojung as she started her way back to the bleachers to pick up her things and start heading home.
“Choi Minho,” the guy shouted at her, her bag over her shoulder and books over her chest. Still plodding in large heavy steps down the bleachers, Soojung looked at him before throwing her tongue out.
“Jung Soojung,” she introduced in the same manner, in the same intensity and then she left in an instant, making the boy smile at her presence.
-o0o-
Soojung had that day marked, the day when cupid had been trying to chase her down, hunt her down in fact, and she did her best hiding from him before that arrow hits her. She didn’t like Choi Minho; on the contrary, she detested his very being every time the bell rung. She was smarter than him, she later on noticed, for she was in section 2-a, while he belonged in 2-b. Basically it didn’t matter, their rooms only separated by a wall, but it surprised Soojung even more when she received an anonymous number. It was, as far as being expected was concerned, from Minho, that little stalker--- how the fuck did he get it, Soojung even retorted back one text message. He didn’t even gave a single reply until she had to confront him, in the hallways this time bceause it appeared that they really bump into each other that often.
“The contacts book they pass out every start of the year,” he answered with a devious smile. “I saved every number from our batch---”
“Liar,” she cut him off, poking his shoulder. “Very funny, Minho. Now I have to change contacts because of you. Sooyeon would not only be devasted, she’d bitch about why the hell I have to.”
“And then you give me the new one,” Minho stated, laughing more and more as the bell rung, Soojung marching towards their homeroom without another word. Really, he knew how to get on her nerves.
And not only did he do it in reality, he even ‘bullied’ (since Soojung always referred people teasing her as bullies) her to no extent in text messages. It was funny really, for every time he would leave a message, Soojung would have that fluttery feeling inside of her, that long lost feeling of pride and irritation that eventually turned into a critical aspect or emotion she had needed every now again. Sugar rush, like her mother would say when she was a bit younger, was exactly the right term for it too. Soojung never liked too sweet things, but she knew what happened when the body had too much sweetness in it.
She decided not to change numbers after a few exchanges of sarcasms and concerns on the phone.
“I’ll go have a walk in the park,” she asked permission from her sister, the one still in her pajamas now and taking care of her alone in the sad apartment uptown Incheon.
Sooyeon looked at her with prying eyes, mouth squibbled with milk. “That’s the first. Isn’t laziness one of Soojung’s famous masterpieces?”
She smiled haphazardly. “Good things come to those who wait. But a fallen apple will not roll towards your doorstep alone.”
“Oh god, stop reading things,” the older girl stated, going back to the living room with a bowl of cereal in her hands. The girl knew what that meant, so she fastened her player by her waist and tied her shoelaces strictly before going out. Sooyeon didn’t like walking, nor jogging, nor running--- perhaps it ran in the blood because Soojung also did not like it but she felt it was time to burn a few fats after decades of not doing so.
The park would be filled with people from different walks of life, from different races to different ages, even birds flapping from tree to tree. The old woman, Soojung remembered a year ago, who fed the wandering birds was still here, sitting by her bench and some food arrangement in her hands. Children with balloons that floated into the air were running about, hyperactive even on an early morning. 9:34 am, right Soojung. Early morning.
Because it was a Saturday, the place was indeed packed and the melodious singing of her famous group in her headphones added to the headache that started coming about. She focused more on jogging by the fountain, her legs a bit tired and sore so she stopped, sitting on the ledges where her back got slightly wet.
Upon turning left, she saw Minho throwing coins down the fountain. She ignored this for a second and continued panting, and then Soojung wondered why the hell was he here all of the quick sudden, she gazed up at him, more awestruck than ever.
“Minho?”
“Soojung?” he also sounded shocked, natural tone this time so Soojung’s suspicions of him following her, disappeared into dust. “Well, what are you doing here?”
“I came out to have a walk,” she reasoned out, hands on her waist. “And you?”
“I don’t know, just... thought to give the orphanage some boost by a fundraiser. You hear that music at the main plaza? My friends and I set it up. We kind of thought people would come see live a debuting group. Still earning though, because they’re singing all kinds of genre. And it’s fun.”
She stood up and tried approaching him, but her ankles got tired from all of it that she tripped without meaning to, and Minho’s arms were immediately holding her up again in an instant. The world seemed quiet all of a sudden, or Soojung had really needed to go see a specialist for her ears. It was too silent and tranquil, that the noise seemed to dry out, sucked into a vortex of unknown quietness. Holding on quite firmly on Minho, she looked up at their rather awkward situation, their eyes meeting, his deep cut eyes that looked so cautious over her, wondering if she ever was okay or if she had done something with her hair---or either way, it showed concern, and Soojung had always noticed that kind of feel when he was around. But they were somehow different and heavy. Like a burden was always over them because he looked tired one way or another, just like the first time they had met in the track.
She started laughing at this heartily, moving away and covering her mouth in a timid way.
“See what missing out on breakfast do,” Minho complained, scratching the back of his head. She looked over him again, and if it was rather weird, but his eyes were watery and red, and twitchy, but still, they shed this awful sense of concern over her.
“What’s with your eyes?”
He looked at her this time. “Hmm?"
“Your eyes. They’re all red and puffy. What’s with them?” Soojung curiously questioned. He closed them first, grinning at the girl.
“Playing Starcraft with the boys all night for the whole week,” he answered.
She scoffed, arms crossed over her chest. “That explains the 3 o’ clock messages you leave me. Why the hell do you guys even bother with that stupid game, I swear it’s a painful thing. Look what’s gotten into you. You practically look like a zombie.”
“Do you want me to stop playing it?”
Soojung smirked. “If you can actually pull yourself away from your laptop, I’d say yes. I want you to stop playing it.”
“Then I will do it since you’ve asked so nicely.” Minho laughed, splashing some fountain water unto his face. Soojung did not quite catch on what he meant by that but she plugged on her earphones and decided to head for home.
“Yah!” he called, and Soojung turned still in wonder, her eyes quite intimidating much like the aura she possesed.
“What?” she snapped back.
“You’re a good jogger,” Minho joked and she managed to laugh, although she couldn’t be quite sure why she did it.
Soojung waved in good bye. “Coming from someone who runs, I suppose that could be a compliment as well?”
-o0o-
They weren’t friends though, because it was something she did not need from him. Minho wasn’t the friendly type, and there wasn’t that cordial bond going on in between, Soojung knew. They were mere acquaintances, nothing more, and that they would text each other at night, until the very late night, until Sooyeon arrived at her latest shift, and Soojung would still be awake inside her room, enjoying the company of someone not physically present.
She headed to the field once more and found that he was there, just in time, resting. Soojung threw her bottle into the air, after calling out his name and he turned, his reflexes just as quick, catching the water.
“I keep forgetting to ask you though,” Soojung then approached, handing him now also a piece of cloth so he could wipe his sweat in her presence. They sat together in one of the bleachers, now just the two of them, as the twilight slowly grew deeper now, and the first few small stars started coming out. “What’s the running for?”
He laughed after drinking the water. “Oh yeah, I haven’t told you about that one either. It’s nothing, really. At the end of the month, there’s this running competition open to all students of the school. I thought I’d run. I’ll get a one hundred thousand won if I win first place. But I don’t know yet what to do with the money, though.”
“Treat me to lunch, okay?” Soojung sighed. “That’s so tiring, the run. I’ll even be shock if you don’t win it.”
“You always find everything tiring, Soojung,” Minho told her, his knuckles softly brushing her cheek. “Why don’t I walk you home? It’s going to rain soon.”
“Yeah, thought I’d take a cab,” she answered in denial. “I don’t like walking. The rain might pour out all of a sudden.” She looked up, actually both of them did so, and the sky darkened in an instant before a light splatter of rain on each of their cheeks came. She smiled brightly, putting all the stars coming out to shame that time, and looked at Minho at the suddeness of the water immediately crashing down to Earth in the following seconds that took less than a mere minute to accumulate.
“Too soon,” Soojung’s bursts of laughter also caused Minho to laugh aloud, pulling immediately both of their things as they hid under the seats, the smell of wet wood seething through the open but at least they were partially untouched.
“You’ll get sick, I assure you of this,” she told him while he shrugged off, disheveling her hair.
“Don’t act all strong because you’ll get sick with me,” Minho told her off and another round of awkward chuckling came, their glances set apart as they stood close beside each other. Her skin against his was very warm, home-like, and while she also felt the same way.
Knowing that she would regret it later on, but only Sooyeon would actually give much shit about it, Soojung hastily seized both of his hands, dropping their things into the rain-soaked grass and both of them launched in for the kill, conquered the rain and ran in the track like little pigs, their shoes being filled as they stepped on puddles. The fog in the field got denser, but neither one mind, racing against each other even when it was tiresome, teasing each one that they were weak or slow or that they were cheating.
There wasn’t a single minute that smiles were not evident.
-o0o-
Months passed, barely letting know Soojung that her second year was ending, and Sooyeon was already graduating from medical school. It was at this time that she had seen Minho with an older woman, practically in the graduating class of their high school. She had seen the girl often, the unnie if they would based it on honorifics, the dancing queen of the place. They were at the field, at the bleachers were Soojung and Minho used to talk until twilight came. It was their spot, and Soojung thought it was nice to come out here again after quite some time.
He seemed happy, teasing the other girl here and there, a few words by her ear and a kiss on the cheek. Soojung held her phone out whimsically, typing slowly as though she had not yet adapted to the reality.
“You didn’t tell me that you and Yuri-unnie were dating.”
From worm’s view below, she creeped under the bleachers and watched her breath turn nervous as Minho pulled out his phone, seeing the text message. No longer than a minute later, his reply arrived.
“Well, yeah. Sorry about that. But you didn’t even tell me that you and Taemin were dating.”
Taemin? As in the kid from 2-b who pulled off a pretty awesome Michael Jackson moonwalk during the Christmas party? He must have been joking her really, that Soojung hurriedly scurried back to her homeroom, holding her mouth out before she could laugh it aloud. Minho really misunderstood that.
“We are not. That was just a dance battle. I swear, we hang out afterwards but nothing went after it.”
Minho had no longer minded this plainly because he too seemed far too busy to care about Soojung. Even when it was slightly restricted nowadays, they still would have lunch together in the cafeteria, and they would still run after each other in the track (but now only in the mornings where all the other kids were around); perhaps that was the most important thing for Soojung. That their friendship would last, that the bond should still be there even when there were people in between that created the more out of place wall for the girl.
Yet sometimes even text messaging him would be difficult, as the fire started then on when the unnie, his girlfriend, found his phone one day, filled with one of Soojung’s sweet notings about life, love and how they should never ever be apart from each other. Cliche words it contained, and the unnie was worried nonetheless that she cried over it, causing Minho and her to break up. They fought over it, him explaining that it was nothing, totally nothing countless times that as Soojung passed by the gym to tell Minho of the news that she was departing the next day for America, he was there shouting along with the girl, repeating the words again, the apology again, and Soojung’s name.
“Look! Soojung and I are not having an affair, for goodness sake! We’re not even together, Yuri!”
“I’m tired with the lying! I saw how she texted you!” the woman stated, tears in her eyes as she sat down on the floor. “God, I’m graduating tomorrow, Minho. I thought we could overcome the distance. I thought it was possible since I’m going to college. I’m sorry but it’s over.”
Minho looked more than devastated, the most stingiest state Soojung had seen him as Yuri started heading out, Soojung hiding behind an open beam and in the shadows. Her sobbing in the corridor horrified Soojung more than seeing Minho in pain. Almost lifeless, she emerged now and neared Minho, his hands over his face, unmoving, placid the whole gym was. It was almost twilight reflected into the room.
Bravely and knowing that she was at fault, Soojung approached him, hands behind her back. He looked up at her in mere agony, in pain and Soojung understood what had that meant.
“Was I the reason?”
Minho bit his lip, standing up and also now feeling confused. “Soojung... look, it’s not that---”
“I know what you’re going to say,” she pretended to sound very calm and indifferent about the problem, but her eyes, oh how much they revealed that really, Minho had not noticed anything about it.
Sighing and holding the tears from falling, she looked at down now. “Go after her and tell her again you’re sorry. She walked out. She’s expecting you to follow her.”
“I already tried that in days now, Soojung! She won’t come back!” he shrieked at her, but Soojung was a braver woman.
“Okay, I’m sorry! But...” she balled her fists at her sides. “Try again!” The momentous shout silenced both, now Soojung sobbed and her face betrayed the facade; her emotions filling in more and more of her heart’s discontent. Minho was not hers, never became hers in the first place so why did it hurt so much saying these things to him? Was it because she was guilty of it?
“Fucking. Try. Again.” Soojung emphasized her words straightforwardly that Minho couldn’t help but put his arms around her tightly, very tightly that Soojung weeped stronger in how much she would be indeed missing him. She closed her eyes as it seared with the temperature. Just stay this way please, don’t go. Make this second last for me.
But he pulled away first, swiftly moving across the hallway and out to follow the girl he was so very in love with. Soojung heard no simple thank you, no goodbye so maybe that was it. For someone as clever and as brilliant, love finally made her look stupid, and Soojung was going to carry this burden until she returned to the US the following day and tell it to her future grandchildren.
“I’ll be gone tomorrow. Will you be there to chase after me too?”
-o0o-
She stared at her phone, the messages and sleepless nights of keeping such a staggering record of moments together. And still, it felt unbelievable that the things happened almost a year ago by now. A smile was etched on her face, her hand pulling on the stroller bag behind her, her other one slipping the phone back to her pocket.
“Krystal! Over here! Krystal!” Right, I was called Krystal here.
The familiar voice came from one of the corners of the airport, and the smell of Los Angeles really brought so many things that reminded her that maybe this wasn’t the home she wanted after all; maybe because Incheon always had that warmer and livelier feel to it. Maybe because it was the sad realization that her American friends were here and she hardly had any back in Korea--- those American girls waving back at her now. Maybe because she always knew that she could always come back to her mom any time when wanted and when the she could afford it.
Maybe because back in Incheon Minho was there. And they could do whatever they want and that always felt like reality, felt like home.
Soojung bit her lower lip, running across the tiled floor and jumping to her best friend’s arms. “How was Korea?”
She pulled away first, her eyes travelling towards the woman behind her. It was none other than her mother, who Sooyeon greeted first when both of them arrived. The younger girl ran to her in nostalgia, her arms draped on her dearest mom.
“Sooyeon says you’ve made friends as promised,” her mother said.
And she remained stiff for a couple of seconds, unable to respond. I fell in love with him, and we lived separately apart, in different worlds, happily ever after.
“Yes, mother. I tried.”