Angst Part Two: Dun Dun Dun...Worse than Part One. Read at Own Peril...
Anyway. On with the whole "transportation" thingie. I feel like a total loser. I'm a senior, and I can't even drive yet. My whole driving experience has been three times out on a back country road. The only plus is that I actually went the speed limit. Damn I'm pathetic. I have no life, and sometimes I feel as if my whole existance is meaningless. Like maybe no one cares. I could die, and no one would so much as blink. (God, that sounds SO angsty...) I've done none of the things that normal teenagers do. I don't party. I never hang out except after school. Never had a boyfriend. I don't have a job. I don't really have any life outside of school. Even then, I'm just kind of...there. And it sucks. Sucks major ass. I feel mostly pathetic. Everything just seems so...pointless.
I don't even know what college I want to go to yet. I refuse to stay in Georgia, which narrows my options down to 49 states. (of course, it's narrowed down even more, because there are just some states I refuse to go to. Alabama, for starters. That and Michigan. Maybe Ohio will be added to that list. I don't need to deal with certain overbearing family members.) Which then leaves 46 states. Then, there are all those other states I won't go to. Maybe I should just start focusing on the states I will go to. Hm...Maybe New York. Whatever state Harvard is in. California could be nice. Though it's a little too far, now that I think about it. But I just don't want to stay near to my family. I've been dealing with their...mediocrity, and my own mediocrity for seventeen years of my life. It's time I had a change. I deserve it.
Being pretty much dirt poor makes me feel even worse about myself. I have none of the things other people my age do. A car. cd's? I've got five. And I'm sure that everyone has noticed by now that I have almost no clothing. I wear the same clothing day in day out. I'm boring. There's this passionate being inside of me, wanting to get out, but there's no way for her to do that. She wants so much, but she can't have it. Not yet. Not now, when I'm supposed to be having the time of my life. But I'm not. Everything is in shades of gray, rain runs down in buckets inside. I feel...so behind everyone else. Like I'm developmentally challenged or something.
So yeah. That's my angst for a little while. I'll be over it in a couple of hours. That's just me. *sigh* Not like any one'd read this anyway. ^_^ Ah well. *is already starting to get over it.* Yeah...writing it out feels great...I feel much better. ^_^ heh.
I don't even know what college I want to go to yet. I refuse to stay in Georgia, which narrows my options down to 49 states. (of course, it's narrowed down even more, because there are just some states I refuse to go to. Alabama, for starters. That and Michigan. Maybe Ohio will be added to that list. I don't need to deal with certain overbearing family members.) Which then leaves 46 states. Then, there are all those other states I won't go to. Maybe I should just start focusing on the states I will go to. Hm...Maybe New York. Whatever state Harvard is in. California could be nice. Though it's a little too far, now that I think about it. But I just don't want to stay near to my family. I've been dealing with their...mediocrity, and my own mediocrity for seventeen years of my life. It's time I had a change. I deserve it.
Being pretty much dirt poor makes me feel even worse about myself. I have none of the things other people my age do. A car. cd's? I've got five. And I'm sure that everyone has noticed by now that I have almost no clothing. I wear the same clothing day in day out. I'm boring. There's this passionate being inside of me, wanting to get out, but there's no way for her to do that. She wants so much, but she can't have it. Not yet. Not now, when I'm supposed to be having the time of my life. But I'm not. Everything is in shades of gray, rain runs down in buckets inside. I feel...so behind everyone else. Like I'm developmentally challenged or something.
So yeah. That's my angst for a little while. I'll be over it in a couple of hours. That's just me. *sigh* Not like any one'd read this anyway. ^_^ Ah well. *is already starting to get over it.* Yeah...writing it out feels great...I feel much better. ^_^ heh.