Reality Check (2/3)
The new chapter. Great thanks to Sharon and Diane, as always. Without you I wouldn't post anything. :)
Enjoy! And let me know what you think :)
A/N: I apologize, Sara and Grissom can be a bit out of character, but I can’t image them being otherwise as a couple.
Reality Check
Chapter Two
As Sara sipped her coffee she felt Catherine’s gaze on her, studying carefully every single movement. The anger she had felt before was fading away, leaving her with a feeling of loneliness and failure. Was really anger what had brought her there? She had just wanted to go out, as Grissom’s presence was too much to bear. Then something had snapped inside her. Confusion, discomfort, anger, sense of betrayal mixed together. Catherine had been an easy target. That woman in front of her had always had a real talent to get under her skin. Now, sitting at Catherine’s table, the feeling that, maybe, something deeper than just anger had led her there, was taking place. It was comforting and disturbing at the same time.
“I’m amazed, you know.” Sara’s voice suddenly broke the awkward silence that had fallen between the two women. “One breakfast and one dinner and you broke through 10 years of guards and safeties.”
Catherine didn’t miss noticing there was something more beyond Sara’s somewhat provocative words. She just wasn’t sure if Sara’s words hid a compliment or if she was just plainly mocking her.
“I was driving around and suddenly I knew I had to come here--to you. For the first time I think I understand why the guys have always relied on you,” Sara said as she looked at Catherine. She wasn’t sure that admitting it now would help clear her mind, but if she was going to ask for help, she could at least be honest. She passed a hand through her hair and continued, “There was a time I was madly jealous of your relationship with Warrick, Nick, and even Grissom. But maybe I was jealous of their relationships with you instead. Anyway, this is not the time to go all deep on that.”
Catherine didn’t know how to react or what to say to Sara’s revelation. She knew Sara had a point, but true to herself, she wasn’t even near to see it. Obviously something happened with Gil, and Sara believed her somehow responsible for it. Should she ask for an explanation? She looked at the younger woman, trying to read her.
“Sara, why are you here?” Catherine finally asked. Acting cautiously hadn’t helped her, so getting directly to the point seemed the best way.
“Gil is leaving tomorrow morning. You’re just a drama queen, Catherine,” Sara said with a smirk.
Catherine’s eyes widened. What had happened was suddenly clear. She realized the situation hadn’t gone as she had thought. Things had probably worsened, if possible. Grissom was thicker than wood.
“You probably think I should mind my own business, but I thought I could shake some sense into him. I didn’t tell him anything you said to me. I just thought you two needed a little push…and at least to be in the same country,” Catherine explained as she tried to read Sara. Catherine didn’t feel that she had to justify her actions. She had just tried to help her friends.
“Are you angry with me?” Catherine finally asked. Things had to be clear between them.
“I was, before coming here. I felt like you made fun of me. Now I’m not sure anymore. Not that I like people interfering in my private life, but I think I somehow invited you into it yesterday. I think getting old makes me less impulsive, or at least lets me think clearly again.”
They shared a smile.
“Not sure if it can apply to anyone…,” Catherine said, admitting maybe her most evident flaw.
Sara smiled warmly. Having Catherine talking to her so openly was something new and, surprisingly, reassuring.
“I’m more angry with Gil and with myself. I don’t know if he is in denial of if he really is okay with our situation,” Sara said with resignation.
“I doubt he realizes there is something wrong. I bet your time together is just perfect. And when you talk, you don’t really tell him how you feel, do you? Men, and Gil is no exception, can’t read minds. Gil is often oblivious of what happens around him; go figure if it’s happening several thousand miles away.”
“Am I asking for something he won’t ever be able to give me?” Sara’s hopeless voice sounded foreign even to herself. She felt like a whining child.
“Oh, Sara, no, don’t go down that route. Think of what is working,” Catherine said, trying to sound as comforting as she could. Sara hadn’t ever looked so vulnerable to her.
“Is anything working?”
“Don’t be an ass now. You love each other,” Catherine stated with a confidence Sara didn’t feel at all.
“But can love be enough? Anyway, he doesn’t act as if he loves me.”
“You’re not thinking straight. You say things you don’t really feel. He came here as soon as I told him you needed him. I think you and he have just a communication problem,” Catherine said. She had always feared communication would have been their main problem.
“Yeah, phone lines can be a bitch…”
“Dry humor, eh? I like it.” Catherine couldn’t help a smile.
“He doesn’t even listen to me. He’s always lost in his research. If I didn’t go to him, I’m not sure he would ever come here. He couldn’t leave his studies.”
“Okay, he’s self-absorbed. Where’s the news?”
“I’m his wife! I’m not someone he’s working with. We should share our lives.”
“Have you ever told him so?” Catherine asked as she looked at Sara with a warm and knowing smile. “You once talked about the great sex you have. Look, if it’s not phone sex you’re looking for, I suggest you talk to him. He won’t make any moves to change things. His next gig could be in China or Australia,” Catherine stated and then, trying to lighten the mood, she added, “Let’s face it, the man love his bugs. I think they turn him on.”
Sara couldn’t help a small smile. She thought that more that once too.
“He has lived alone for years in his hermetically sealed condo, sorry, townhouse,” Catherine quickly corrected herself seeing Sara ready to intervene. She was going to correct her as Grissom had done a few years before. She mentally smiled at the idea of how much Grissom and Sara were similar. Both of them were obsessed by pointless details. “You can’t say that your relationship has been an easy one, can you? Gil isn’t an easy man. After years spent with just a rollercoaster as a way out from our job, he did something huge for you. But you can’t believe that then everything would be ‘happy ever after’,” Catherine said without sugar-coating reality.
“So what? Should I settle for what I have?” Sara asked.
“Never. Or you’ll regret it later.”
“What should I do?”
“I hope you’re not looking for an answer from me. I can only tell you that having doubts is only human. Are your moments together satisfying enough? If the answer is yes, you have to fight tooth and nail to keep what you have and nurture it, waiting for a better time when you will be able to eventually be together. It’s hard work, but only you can say if it’s worth the effort and the occasional feeling of loneliness. If the answer is no, cut him loose. You’ll suffer, but in the end it will be better for both of you,” Catherine said, fixing her eyes on the other woman. She had been tough maybe, but Sara wasn’t a child. She didn’t need a hug and a pat on her shoulder. Things were not easy and could just get worse. Sara had to clear her mind and make a decision. Gil would never do anything to change things.
“I have a few errands to do but then we could have lunch together,” Catherine eventually said, breaking the silence, as she stood up from the chair.
“I don’t want to bother you,” Sara said.
“Don’t worry, I like some company. Stay here. It won’t take more than an hour, probably less. Take your time to think, take a nap, read a book, watch television, go for a walk, whatever. ..”
“But…”
“No but, or I’ll leave you a list of chores to keep you entertained. You could also start thinking about lunch,” Catherine said before disappearing in the corridor.
A few minutes later she was back, changed in jeans, shirt and a casual jacket.
“Take a look in the fridge and text me if you want or need something. I’ll get it on the way home. Here are the keys if you go out. Please, do as you would at home. See you in a few.” Catherine said as she left Sara in the middle of the hall and closed the door behind her.
As soon as Catherine made it to her car, she pulled off the cell phone from her purse. She scrolled down the names on her contacts list and selected Grissom’s name.
He picked up as soon as the first ring went off. “Hello?”
“It’s Catherine. Hi, Gil. I’ll be quick. I’ve no idea what you did, but your wife knocked on my door before 8 this morning. We’re having lunch at my place. I suggest you come by early in the afternoon. You two need to talk to each other. Badly.”
“What happened? What did she tell you?”
“I’m a drama queen, Gil, and I really should mind my own business,” Catherine said bitterly.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. She’s upset, Gil. I’ve already told you enough. You two have to find a way to fix things on your own.”
“But I’m doing my best…”
“It’s not enough. Take these few hours to think. Ask yourself when was the last time you and Sara really talked. I bet you never fight. A marriage has to be fed if you want it to work. A few days spent together here and there are not enough, even if they are passionate and romantic. You’re not having an affair, you’re married. See you later,” Catherine said as she closed the phone call and drove off.
Catherine’s doubts on Grissom and Sara’s relationship had sadly turned right. Grissom was bound to close up again once left alone and Sara…, she had gotten better with time, but Catherine feared relationships were still something new and somehow scary for her.
Enjoy! And let me know what you think :)
A/N: I apologize, Sara and Grissom can be a bit out of character, but I can’t image them being otherwise as a couple.
Reality Check
Chapter Two
As Sara sipped her coffee she felt Catherine’s gaze on her, studying carefully every single movement. The anger she had felt before was fading away, leaving her with a feeling of loneliness and failure. Was really anger what had brought her there? She had just wanted to go out, as Grissom’s presence was too much to bear. Then something had snapped inside her. Confusion, discomfort, anger, sense of betrayal mixed together. Catherine had been an easy target. That woman in front of her had always had a real talent to get under her skin. Now, sitting at Catherine’s table, the feeling that, maybe, something deeper than just anger had led her there, was taking place. It was comforting and disturbing at the same time.
“I’m amazed, you know.” Sara’s voice suddenly broke the awkward silence that had fallen between the two women. “One breakfast and one dinner and you broke through 10 years of guards and safeties.”
Catherine didn’t miss noticing there was something more beyond Sara’s somewhat provocative words. She just wasn’t sure if Sara’s words hid a compliment or if she was just plainly mocking her.
“I was driving around and suddenly I knew I had to come here--to you. For the first time I think I understand why the guys have always relied on you,” Sara said as she looked at Catherine. She wasn’t sure that admitting it now would help clear her mind, but if she was going to ask for help, she could at least be honest. She passed a hand through her hair and continued, “There was a time I was madly jealous of your relationship with Warrick, Nick, and even Grissom. But maybe I was jealous of their relationships with you instead. Anyway, this is not the time to go all deep on that.”
Catherine didn’t know how to react or what to say to Sara’s revelation. She knew Sara had a point, but true to herself, she wasn’t even near to see it. Obviously something happened with Gil, and Sara believed her somehow responsible for it. Should she ask for an explanation? She looked at the younger woman, trying to read her.
“Sara, why are you here?” Catherine finally asked. Acting cautiously hadn’t helped her, so getting directly to the point seemed the best way.
“Gil is leaving tomorrow morning. You’re just a drama queen, Catherine,” Sara said with a smirk.
Catherine’s eyes widened. What had happened was suddenly clear. She realized the situation hadn’t gone as she had thought. Things had probably worsened, if possible. Grissom was thicker than wood.
“You probably think I should mind my own business, but I thought I could shake some sense into him. I didn’t tell him anything you said to me. I just thought you two needed a little push…and at least to be in the same country,” Catherine explained as she tried to read Sara. Catherine didn’t feel that she had to justify her actions. She had just tried to help her friends.
“Are you angry with me?” Catherine finally asked. Things had to be clear between them.
“I was, before coming here. I felt like you made fun of me. Now I’m not sure anymore. Not that I like people interfering in my private life, but I think I somehow invited you into it yesterday. I think getting old makes me less impulsive, or at least lets me think clearly again.”
They shared a smile.
“Not sure if it can apply to anyone…,” Catherine said, admitting maybe her most evident flaw.
Sara smiled warmly. Having Catherine talking to her so openly was something new and, surprisingly, reassuring.
“I’m more angry with Gil and with myself. I don’t know if he is in denial of if he really is okay with our situation,” Sara said with resignation.
“I doubt he realizes there is something wrong. I bet your time together is just perfect. And when you talk, you don’t really tell him how you feel, do you? Men, and Gil is no exception, can’t read minds. Gil is often oblivious of what happens around him; go figure if it’s happening several thousand miles away.”
“Am I asking for something he won’t ever be able to give me?” Sara’s hopeless voice sounded foreign even to herself. She felt like a whining child.
“Oh, Sara, no, don’t go down that route. Think of what is working,” Catherine said, trying to sound as comforting as she could. Sara hadn’t ever looked so vulnerable to her.
“Is anything working?”
“Don’t be an ass now. You love each other,” Catherine stated with a confidence Sara didn’t feel at all.
“But can love be enough? Anyway, he doesn’t act as if he loves me.”
“You’re not thinking straight. You say things you don’t really feel. He came here as soon as I told him you needed him. I think you and he have just a communication problem,” Catherine said. She had always feared communication would have been their main problem.
“Yeah, phone lines can be a bitch…”
“Dry humor, eh? I like it.” Catherine couldn’t help a smile.
“He doesn’t even listen to me. He’s always lost in his research. If I didn’t go to him, I’m not sure he would ever come here. He couldn’t leave his studies.”
“Okay, he’s self-absorbed. Where’s the news?”
“I’m his wife! I’m not someone he’s working with. We should share our lives.”
“Have you ever told him so?” Catherine asked as she looked at Sara with a warm and knowing smile. “You once talked about the great sex you have. Look, if it’s not phone sex you’re looking for, I suggest you talk to him. He won’t make any moves to change things. His next gig could be in China or Australia,” Catherine stated and then, trying to lighten the mood, she added, “Let’s face it, the man love his bugs. I think they turn him on.”
Sara couldn’t help a small smile. She thought that more that once too.
“He has lived alone for years in his hermetically sealed condo, sorry, townhouse,” Catherine quickly corrected herself seeing Sara ready to intervene. She was going to correct her as Grissom had done a few years before. She mentally smiled at the idea of how much Grissom and Sara were similar. Both of them were obsessed by pointless details. “You can’t say that your relationship has been an easy one, can you? Gil isn’t an easy man. After years spent with just a rollercoaster as a way out from our job, he did something huge for you. But you can’t believe that then everything would be ‘happy ever after’,” Catherine said without sugar-coating reality.
“So what? Should I settle for what I have?” Sara asked.
“Never. Or you’ll regret it later.”
“What should I do?”
“I hope you’re not looking for an answer from me. I can only tell you that having doubts is only human. Are your moments together satisfying enough? If the answer is yes, you have to fight tooth and nail to keep what you have and nurture it, waiting for a better time when you will be able to eventually be together. It’s hard work, but only you can say if it’s worth the effort and the occasional feeling of loneliness. If the answer is no, cut him loose. You’ll suffer, but in the end it will be better for both of you,” Catherine said, fixing her eyes on the other woman. She had been tough maybe, but Sara wasn’t a child. She didn’t need a hug and a pat on her shoulder. Things were not easy and could just get worse. Sara had to clear her mind and make a decision. Gil would never do anything to change things.
“I have a few errands to do but then we could have lunch together,” Catherine eventually said, breaking the silence, as she stood up from the chair.
“I don’t want to bother you,” Sara said.
“Don’t worry, I like some company. Stay here. It won’t take more than an hour, probably less. Take your time to think, take a nap, read a book, watch television, go for a walk, whatever. ..”
“But…”
“No but, or I’ll leave you a list of chores to keep you entertained. You could also start thinking about lunch,” Catherine said before disappearing in the corridor.
A few minutes later she was back, changed in jeans, shirt and a casual jacket.
“Take a look in the fridge and text me if you want or need something. I’ll get it on the way home. Here are the keys if you go out. Please, do as you would at home. See you in a few.” Catherine said as she left Sara in the middle of the hall and closed the door behind her.
As soon as Catherine made it to her car, she pulled off the cell phone from her purse. She scrolled down the names on her contacts list and selected Grissom’s name.
He picked up as soon as the first ring went off. “Hello?”
“It’s Catherine. Hi, Gil. I’ll be quick. I’ve no idea what you did, but your wife knocked on my door before 8 this morning. We’re having lunch at my place. I suggest you come by early in the afternoon. You two need to talk to each other. Badly.”
“What happened? What did she tell you?”
“I’m a drama queen, Gil, and I really should mind my own business,” Catherine said bitterly.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. She’s upset, Gil. I’ve already told you enough. You two have to find a way to fix things on your own.”
“But I’m doing my best…”
“It’s not enough. Take these few hours to think. Ask yourself when was the last time you and Sara really talked. I bet you never fight. A marriage has to be fed if you want it to work. A few days spent together here and there are not enough, even if they are passionate and romantic. You’re not having an affair, you’re married. See you later,” Catherine said as she closed the phone call and drove off.
Catherine’s doubts on Grissom and Sara’s relationship had sadly turned right. Grissom was bound to close up again once left alone and Sara…, she had gotten better with time, but Catherine feared relationships were still something new and somehow scary for her.