(no subject)
I don’t know what is wrong, but I just feel overly guilty and sad right now. There is still some liquid left in the bottle, but I know it won’t help… And I got to drive over to Mike’s later to discuss things. Haha, that sounds so adult… So I guess drinking=bad. I am just going to quit drinking. Don’t laugh! I actually did stay completely off alcohol for like an entire month! Maybe it was 2-3 weeks…
Who am I kidding? The weather is looking awesome so outdoor parties now!! Plus Brit is forcing me keep her company at the next get together at Shawn’s. And I only have one more Thursday night tax prep thing, sucks it is the day right before the taxes are due. However, I can go to all those Thursday night parties after this week. I can mostly skip the Friday classes, except the ones I have a quiz/exam in. By 3, I should be back to normal enough to go to work. Get out at 12 and do it all over again!
There is only 5.5 WEEKS left of classes! I don’t have anything to look forward to though. I’m going to be either working a load or taking a load of classes. Which is a big reminder that I need to find out how their tuition works for summer session. There is a maximum tuition, but it also only allows 2 classes maximum… It is really only worth while for me to do it if I can take 3 classes…
I can’t decide to just hurry up and quickly get out of school or to just take my time with it. It seems like I’ve gotten stuck into this working nearly all the time. I mean I know it doesn’t seem like I’m putting in that much as I’m usually if not always doing everything at the last possible minute and getting by with that. (Just not in World Religions and Calculus) If I’m in school I’m working, if I’m get out of school, I’m going to have to be working as well! Just a constant cycle of doing work, but for what? I don’t need all the things that I want… I know I could just take a year off and totally do nothing, but it seems like I would be needlessly wasting my time. With a job, it is so hard to find time off. I was thinking of doing some traveling over winter break next year, but looks like more than likely I’ll just be putting in more hours at work or taking the winter session at school. Just constantly working and me not understanding those who don’t… I’m not sure how those people get by or anything.
How did my life go from having it all, the great guy that liked me, getting good grades, drinking only moderately, having a job that paid the bills, and just overly unstressfullness to this? Having at times to have no where to turn wondering what is it with me that is so wrong, failing almost half my classes, drinking for no reason at all, working a late night job, and overall just has be worried all the time about which one of the above is going to make me just breakdown.