I Want to Believe... That I Can Get My 90 Minutes Back
G'Day, Greys! (spoilers crawl below like Black Oil)
Just got back from the media screening of second X FILES MOVIE: I WANT TO BELIEVE. Now I understand why Chris Carter and co kept the film under a conspiracy of secrets- because it's a pile of crap.
Terrible, disappointing film, that in no way makes up for the lacklustre final three seasons of a once great TV show. The whole thing seems to be composed of people going through the motions for a quick buck- it didn't feel like an X FILES at all (no conspiracies or aliens is one thing- even a welcome thing- but no monsters or paranormal events whatsoever? What's the point of calling it the X FILES? It plays like an episode of CSI stretched to feature length- albeit one with the stupidest law enforcement agents outside of GET SMART- and that was a comedy (at one point a suspect *literally* escapes from beneath their noses whilst a whole team of Fibbies are *in the room* with him without noticing)
Everyone except David Duchovny, who tries his best to bring some passion into the proceedings, and and underused but great Billy Connolly as a paedophile priest beset by visions, is just doing this on autopilot. Particularly bad is a career-worst Gillian Anderson as Scully- the formerly capable and clever scientist now only comes across as a strident, argumentative, whiny bitch who becomes essentially a massive, emo roadblock for Mulder to overcome,which she never did in the TV show. Anderson's whole performance is so...unwilling...that she might as well be wearing a tee-shirt reading "I Do Not Want To Be Here But I Need Some Walking Around Money".
As for the lame criminal goings on- Unethical Russian Doctors experimenting with dodgy operations on severed limbs and body parts would have been a *perfect* excuse to reintroduce Alex Krycek to the franchise, but instead we get a tired (and offensive) subplot involving that old cliche, the Gay Killers- here represented by *two* homicidal homos who "got married in Massachussetts".
Admittedly, Callum Keith Rennie does his best to inject some humanity into an cartoon cutout Queer villain- you can understand he's doing what he's doing because he's desperate for his boyfriend to survive- but I suspect in a less capable actor than Callum's hands the role would have been even more offensive than it was. And if he's trying to put his no-lines-at-all boyfriend's head on another person's body, why is he picking young females instead of males?!
Three stars- one each for Duchovny, Rennie and Connolly. But no monsters, no paranormal activity, poor script, shoddy direction, bitchy, Evil Gay Villains, no Krycek despite Russian Doctors hacking limbs off willy-nilly, disconnected, religious maniac Scully (who has maybe 5 scenes with Mulder in the whole film- and yes, they fuck again)?
...Resist. Don't serve!
Note: My review is now up on IMDB. Spread the loathe, people *g*
Just got back from the media screening of second X FILES MOVIE: I WANT TO BELIEVE. Now I understand why Chris Carter and co kept the film under a conspiracy of secrets- because it's a pile of crap.
Terrible, disappointing film, that in no way makes up for the lacklustre final three seasons of a once great TV show. The whole thing seems to be composed of people going through the motions for a quick buck- it didn't feel like an X FILES at all (no conspiracies or aliens is one thing- even a welcome thing- but no monsters or paranormal events whatsoever? What's the point of calling it the X FILES? It plays like an episode of CSI stretched to feature length- albeit one with the stupidest law enforcement agents outside of GET SMART- and that was a comedy (at one point a suspect *literally* escapes from beneath their noses whilst a whole team of Fibbies are *in the room* with him without noticing)
Everyone except David Duchovny, who tries his best to bring some passion into the proceedings, and and underused but great Billy Connolly as a paedophile priest beset by visions, is just doing this on autopilot. Particularly bad is a career-worst Gillian Anderson as Scully- the formerly capable and clever scientist now only comes across as a strident, argumentative, whiny bitch who becomes essentially a massive, emo roadblock for Mulder to overcome,which she never did in the TV show. Anderson's whole performance is so...unwilling...that she might as well be wearing a tee-shirt reading "I Do Not Want To Be Here But I Need Some Walking Around Money".
As for the lame criminal goings on- Unethical Russian Doctors experimenting with dodgy operations on severed limbs and body parts would have been a *perfect* excuse to reintroduce Alex Krycek to the franchise, but instead we get a tired (and offensive) subplot involving that old cliche, the Gay Killers- here represented by *two* homicidal homos who "got married in Massachussetts".
Admittedly, Callum Keith Rennie does his best to inject some humanity into an cartoon cutout Queer villain- you can understand he's doing what he's doing because he's desperate for his boyfriend to survive- but I suspect in a less capable actor than Callum's hands the role would have been even more offensive than it was. And if he's trying to put his no-lines-at-all boyfriend's head on another person's body, why is he picking young females instead of males?!
Three stars- one each for Duchovny, Rennie and Connolly. But no monsters, no paranormal activity, poor script, shoddy direction, bitchy, Evil Gay Villains, no Krycek despite Russian Doctors hacking limbs off willy-nilly, disconnected, religious maniac Scully (who has maybe 5 scenes with Mulder in the whole film- and yes, they fuck again)?
...Resist. Don't serve!
Note: My review is now up on IMDB. Spread the loathe, people *g*