ficpost: "Matchmaker, Matchmaker" (Sam/Jayne)
Multiverse authors are live, thus:
Title: "Matchmaker, Matchmaker"
Fandoms: Firefly x Stargate: SG-1
Pairing: Sam/Jayne
Other featured characters: Kaylee [what, you are surprised?], Inara, mention of Kaylee's feelings for Simon and of Zoe/Wash. Will it lure you behind the cut if I mention it's mostly Kaylee + Inara flirting at each other?
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers/Timeline: After "Threads," anytime in FF canon.
Justification: This one I can pin firmly on sabaceanbabe
Summary: When Sam comes aboard Serenity, Inara teaches Kaylee something about the art of matchmaking.
Words: 1667
For Papa, make him a scholar.
For Mama, make him rich as a king.
For me, well, I wouldn't holler
If her were as handsome as anything. -- from Fiddler on the Roof, "Matchmaker"
Best thing about having Sam on board is that she can matchmake freely without anyone looking at her twice. Before Sam, it wasn't impossible, but it was a sight more difficult, what with her primary goal being matching herself up with the prettiest doctor she'd ever lain eyes on, and said doctor wanting nothing to do with her. But now, now there's a proper number of women on board who aren't sly (at least, mostly aren't) and are single enough to want matching.
It's a simple enough thing to curl up in Inara's shuttle, pretending that they're real fine ladies at a real tea service, and say, "So, you think Simon'd prefer Sam?"
Inara's laughter is soft like everything in the shuttle is soft. You have to pay careful attention to notice it, but Kaylee's noticed this about Inara -- wherever she is in the ship, people look at her. They don't stare, mind ('cept sometimes Simon, who's incapable of keeping his eyes to himself when there's a pretty girl around), just -- they're aware of where she is, what she's wearing, how she's holding herself. The world seems to fall into Inara, like she's a tiny black hole, tugging everything closer to her.
"Mei-mei, I love you, but is it really necessary to give Sam the one boy you want? Surely she'd be just as happy with someone else."
Kaylee tucks her knees into her chin. "But don't they seem fitted just right to each other? They're both so clever, and so well-educated, been to school and everything."
Inara's presence seems to glow even stronger as she leans over just slightly, to put a hand on Kaylee's leg. "If you don't mind advice from someone who's also been to school..."
"Course not!"
"Sometimes the matches that seem best in our heads turn out to be empty when they're enacted in the flesh. Love is about more than matching up traits or education."
Kaylee presses her hands together, looks intently at Inara.
"You were on the ship already when Wash and Zoe got married, weren't you?" Kaylee nods. "And did they seem fitted to each other?"
Kaylee laughs. "The cap'n said he'd never had two crew members who seemed to repulse each other more. Zoe hated Wash --"
"And surely, someone like Wash, who's good with machines and especially with ships, would be the perfect match for a pretty young mechanic who always has grease in her hair." Kaylee's hands fly to her hair, but since she hasn't been down to the engine-room yet today, her hair is just stringy, not actually dirty. "But that's not how it happened, of course."
"Course not. 'Cos Wash and Zoe are -- they just are." Kaylee's seen how they look at each other, when no one else seems to be watching, and she knows there's no one else in the 'verse could tear either of them away from the other, no hellfire or warfare that could make them stop lovin'.
"But match-making is an old and respected profession," Inara continues, almost like she's reciting a lesson. "On Earth-that-was, matchmakers were sometimes paid by young girls' parents to find them the perfect boy." Her voice has a rich, dreamy quality. "Sometimes a skilled matchmaker putting together unlikely partners has been compared to weaving and other feminine arts -- it's one of the skills we had the chance to learn as Companions."
"Did you learn it?"
Inara shakes her head. "I chose other lessons, other arts. But I think between us, we can find someone for Sam. You might start by asking her about her tastes." Inara never leers, but if she did, she would be leering now. Kaylee uncurls herself from the couch and, after impulsively kissing Inara's forehead, she heads towards the engine room, where Sam will be waiting for her. She feels good, purposeful. This is exciting the way being with Simon is exciting; her heart's moving too fast and the sight of Sam makes her burst into a grin because anything could happen if she guesses right.
"Hi, Kaylee. Are you ready to start? Why don't you show me what to do?"
"Oh, but don't you know already?"
Sam smiles kindly. "According to Captain Reynolds, no one knows as much about Serenity as you do."
"I just like machines."
Sam watches her as she carefully checks every inch of the engine, spinning a gear now and then, and finally proclaims her girl just in need of a tune-up.
"You like machines, huh?" Sam grins. "Show me where to start."
Kaylee loves this work but is ready to burst with the excitement of her other job, so she rushes into the question she's dying to ask. "So what kinda boys do you like?" Sam struggles with a bolt and doesn't answer for awhile. "Well? You gonna hold out on me? Did you have a boyfriend where you come from?" She doesn't like to be rude, and reminding Sam of the place where she came from seems kinda shaky, now that she thinks on it, but Sam is eager enough to answer.
"No. I had one -- we were even going to get married -- but we broke it off."
"Why?"
"I was in love with someone else." Sam says it easy enough, but Kaylee sees that there's something like a speck of salt in her eyes.
"I don't mean to be nosy, it's just -- it's been awhile since we've had a new gal on board. I think I've picked Inara's brain for all the stories she's willin' to tell."
Sam shrugs and hands Kaylee the bolt, which she pockets thoughtfully. "I don't think the romantic part of my life was that exciting. Now, if you ask me about building a nuclear reactor out of materials you find around the house..."
"You don't think boys are interesting?"
Sam laughs kindly. "Not as interesting as I find this ship's engine."
"Ooh! You hear that, Serenity? Sam likes you!"
++
Thing of it is, every time she and Inara run through the list of men on board, it seems shorter. There's Simon, but he's already been ruled out, and it seems wisest not to mention Mal's name too many times for fear Inara will start another lecture about how that good-for-nothing luo fèn doesn't even deserve to sit next to Sam at dinner, which Kaylee don't see at all, but Inara knows men for a livin', so she's willing to take her at her word, least this once.
And then Book's off the list at the start, on account of his vow of celibacy, and Wash is so entirely taken that he hardly registers as a man on Kaylee's mental radar. That leaves Jayne, same as every day.
"Maybe it's just not meant to be for Sam to have a lover," Inara says. "Unless you're volunteering."
"She prefers men, mostly," Kaylee says, a little wistfully. "Least, I think she does."
"She confide in you about her past lovers?"
"A little. I'll try again."
"And I'll talk to Jayne. Maybe he'll have a suggestion."
"Yeah," Kaylee says, gesturing lewdly. "Like that?"
++
"Sure I'll bed the chu nu -- you expect me to say no?"
"I'm not asking you to go to bed with her. I'm asking you to court her."
"What?" Jayne scratches his ear with the back end of a gun. "Not following."
"Look, it's Kaylee -- Kaylee thinks she needs some male companionship."
Jayne rolls his eyes. "And you think Kaylee means I should take her out for tea?"
"No. But that's what I mean."
"Why me?"
Inara knows it's wisest not to tell any man that's he's been chosen because there's no one else around, so she smiles at him like she has a secret. "When you start courting her, you'll find out."
"Okay, okay. Gorram women."
++
"Let's get to the rutting, then."
"Wait, wait! I said I would go out on one date with you. One. Provisionally, with one of the provisions being that you'd be a gentleman. Kaylee said you were capable of it, if you tried..."
"I did ask, didn't I?"
Her face relaxes into a worried smile. "I suppose. But still -- don't you think we'd better wait till we've, you know...?"
"Foreplay?" He gives her a quizzical look.
"Not exactly what I meant. I was thinking more of... walking together. Getting to know each other. Where do you come from, anyhow?"
"I think finding out what's in my pants would be a sight more rivetin'."
"My guess is it's the same thing that's in every man's pants, from Mal to Simon and even including Book."
Jayne twitches. "Don't wanna think about that."
"Okay. But in any event, it's what's in your head that's different."
"Cuz there's less of it?"
Sam sighs patiently. "Why don't you tell me something I don't know -- why do you want to, you know, make love to me?"
Jayne stops mid-stride. "You're pretty?" he guesses.
"So's Kaylee."
"I don't fancy having my head smashed in by sissy doctor boy. Or by the Captain. Or by the whore, for that matter..."
"Or by me," Sam adds with a grin. Jayne looks at her, sees her smile, and grins back.
"This mean there can be rutting now?"
Sam smiles. "Maybe." And it's easy, so easy, to fall back into step with him, and not have to worry about regulations or secrets or love. There aren't any secrets with Jayne, and after a lifetime of secrecy, it's refreshing. After a lifetime of science, this is simple, and easy, and she's ready, at the moment, for this to be her life.
++
"See?" Inara whispers, and Kaylee can only nod, because what she sees she's hardly ever seen before, and it's happiness that's unconditioned and expectionless, happiness that's soft as Sam settling into Jayne's side, hard as Jayne's ratta-tat footsteps.
"I do," she tells Inara finally. "I do see."
Title: "Matchmaker, Matchmaker"
Fandoms: Firefly x Stargate: SG-1
Pairing: Sam/Jayne
Other featured characters: Kaylee [what, you are surprised?], Inara, mention of Kaylee's feelings for Simon and of Zoe/Wash. Will it lure you behind the cut if I mention it's mostly Kaylee + Inara flirting at each other?
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers/Timeline: After "Threads," anytime in FF canon.
Justification: This one I can pin firmly on sabaceanbabe
Summary: When Sam comes aboard Serenity, Inara teaches Kaylee something about the art of matchmaking.
Words: 1667
For Papa, make him a scholar.
For Mama, make him rich as a king.
For me, well, I wouldn't holler
If her were as handsome as anything. -- from Fiddler on the Roof, "Matchmaker"
Best thing about having Sam on board is that she can matchmake freely without anyone looking at her twice. Before Sam, it wasn't impossible, but it was a sight more difficult, what with her primary goal being matching herself up with the prettiest doctor she'd ever lain eyes on, and said doctor wanting nothing to do with her. But now, now there's a proper number of women on board who aren't sly (at least, mostly aren't) and are single enough to want matching.
It's a simple enough thing to curl up in Inara's shuttle, pretending that they're real fine ladies at a real tea service, and say, "So, you think Simon'd prefer Sam?"
Inara's laughter is soft like everything in the shuttle is soft. You have to pay careful attention to notice it, but Kaylee's noticed this about Inara -- wherever she is in the ship, people look at her. They don't stare, mind ('cept sometimes Simon, who's incapable of keeping his eyes to himself when there's a pretty girl around), just -- they're aware of where she is, what she's wearing, how she's holding herself. The world seems to fall into Inara, like she's a tiny black hole, tugging everything closer to her.
"Mei-mei, I love you, but is it really necessary to give Sam the one boy you want? Surely she'd be just as happy with someone else."
Kaylee tucks her knees into her chin. "But don't they seem fitted just right to each other? They're both so clever, and so well-educated, been to school and everything."
Inara's presence seems to glow even stronger as she leans over just slightly, to put a hand on Kaylee's leg. "If you don't mind advice from someone who's also been to school..."
"Course not!"
"Sometimes the matches that seem best in our heads turn out to be empty when they're enacted in the flesh. Love is about more than matching up traits or education."
Kaylee presses her hands together, looks intently at Inara.
"You were on the ship already when Wash and Zoe got married, weren't you?" Kaylee nods. "And did they seem fitted to each other?"
Kaylee laughs. "The cap'n said he'd never had two crew members who seemed to repulse each other more. Zoe hated Wash --"
"And surely, someone like Wash, who's good with machines and especially with ships, would be the perfect match for a pretty young mechanic who always has grease in her hair." Kaylee's hands fly to her hair, but since she hasn't been down to the engine-room yet today, her hair is just stringy, not actually dirty. "But that's not how it happened, of course."
"Course not. 'Cos Wash and Zoe are -- they just are." Kaylee's seen how they look at each other, when no one else seems to be watching, and she knows there's no one else in the 'verse could tear either of them away from the other, no hellfire or warfare that could make them stop lovin'.
"But match-making is an old and respected profession," Inara continues, almost like she's reciting a lesson. "On Earth-that-was, matchmakers were sometimes paid by young girls' parents to find them the perfect boy." Her voice has a rich, dreamy quality. "Sometimes a skilled matchmaker putting together unlikely partners has been compared to weaving and other feminine arts -- it's one of the skills we had the chance to learn as Companions."
"Did you learn it?"
Inara shakes her head. "I chose other lessons, other arts. But I think between us, we can find someone for Sam. You might start by asking her about her tastes." Inara never leers, but if she did, she would be leering now. Kaylee uncurls herself from the couch and, after impulsively kissing Inara's forehead, she heads towards the engine room, where Sam will be waiting for her. She feels good, purposeful. This is exciting the way being with Simon is exciting; her heart's moving too fast and the sight of Sam makes her burst into a grin because anything could happen if she guesses right.
"Hi, Kaylee. Are you ready to start? Why don't you show me what to do?"
"Oh, but don't you know already?"
Sam smiles kindly. "According to Captain Reynolds, no one knows as much about Serenity as you do."
"I just like machines."
Sam watches her as she carefully checks every inch of the engine, spinning a gear now and then, and finally proclaims her girl just in need of a tune-up.
"You like machines, huh?" Sam grins. "Show me where to start."
Kaylee loves this work but is ready to burst with the excitement of her other job, so she rushes into the question she's dying to ask. "So what kinda boys do you like?" Sam struggles with a bolt and doesn't answer for awhile. "Well? You gonna hold out on me? Did you have a boyfriend where you come from?" She doesn't like to be rude, and reminding Sam of the place where she came from seems kinda shaky, now that she thinks on it, but Sam is eager enough to answer.
"No. I had one -- we were even going to get married -- but we broke it off."
"Why?"
"I was in love with someone else." Sam says it easy enough, but Kaylee sees that there's something like a speck of salt in her eyes.
"I don't mean to be nosy, it's just -- it's been awhile since we've had a new gal on board. I think I've picked Inara's brain for all the stories she's willin' to tell."
Sam shrugs and hands Kaylee the bolt, which she pockets thoughtfully. "I don't think the romantic part of my life was that exciting. Now, if you ask me about building a nuclear reactor out of materials you find around the house..."
"You don't think boys are interesting?"
Sam laughs kindly. "Not as interesting as I find this ship's engine."
"Ooh! You hear that, Serenity? Sam likes you!"
++
Thing of it is, every time she and Inara run through the list of men on board, it seems shorter. There's Simon, but he's already been ruled out, and it seems wisest not to mention Mal's name too many times for fear Inara will start another lecture about how that good-for-nothing luo fèn doesn't even deserve to sit next to Sam at dinner, which Kaylee don't see at all, but Inara knows men for a livin', so she's willing to take her at her word, least this once.
And then Book's off the list at the start, on account of his vow of celibacy, and Wash is so entirely taken that he hardly registers as a man on Kaylee's mental radar. That leaves Jayne, same as every day.
"Maybe it's just not meant to be for Sam to have a lover," Inara says. "Unless you're volunteering."
"She prefers men, mostly," Kaylee says, a little wistfully. "Least, I think she does."
"She confide in you about her past lovers?"
"A little. I'll try again."
"And I'll talk to Jayne. Maybe he'll have a suggestion."
"Yeah," Kaylee says, gesturing lewdly. "Like that?"
++
"Sure I'll bed the chu nu -- you expect me to say no?"
"I'm not asking you to go to bed with her. I'm asking you to court her."
"What?" Jayne scratches his ear with the back end of a gun. "Not following."
"Look, it's Kaylee -- Kaylee thinks she needs some male companionship."
Jayne rolls his eyes. "And you think Kaylee means I should take her out for tea?"
"No. But that's what I mean."
"Why me?"
Inara knows it's wisest not to tell any man that's he's been chosen because there's no one else around, so she smiles at him like she has a secret. "When you start courting her, you'll find out."
"Okay, okay. Gorram women."
++
"Let's get to the rutting, then."
"Wait, wait! I said I would go out on one date with you. One. Provisionally, with one of the provisions being that you'd be a gentleman. Kaylee said you were capable of it, if you tried..."
"I did ask, didn't I?"
Her face relaxes into a worried smile. "I suppose. But still -- don't you think we'd better wait till we've, you know...?"
"Foreplay?" He gives her a quizzical look.
"Not exactly what I meant. I was thinking more of... walking together. Getting to know each other. Where do you come from, anyhow?"
"I think finding out what's in my pants would be a sight more rivetin'."
"My guess is it's the same thing that's in every man's pants, from Mal to Simon and even including Book."
Jayne twitches. "Don't wanna think about that."
"Okay. But in any event, it's what's in your head that's different."
"Cuz there's less of it?"
Sam sighs patiently. "Why don't you tell me something I don't know -- why do you want to, you know, make love to me?"
Jayne stops mid-stride. "You're pretty?" he guesses.
"So's Kaylee."
"I don't fancy having my head smashed in by sissy doctor boy. Or by the Captain. Or by the whore, for that matter..."
"Or by me," Sam adds with a grin. Jayne looks at her, sees her smile, and grins back.
"This mean there can be rutting now?"
Sam smiles. "Maybe." And it's easy, so easy, to fall back into step with him, and not have to worry about regulations or secrets or love. There aren't any secrets with Jayne, and after a lifetime of secrecy, it's refreshing. After a lifetime of science, this is simple, and easy, and she's ready, at the moment, for this to be her life.
++
"See?" Inara whispers, and Kaylee can only nod, because what she sees she's hardly ever seen before, and it's happiness that's unconditioned and expectionless, happiness that's soft as Sam settling into Jayne's side, hard as Jayne's ratta-tat footsteps.
"I do," she tells Inara finally. "I do see."