ficpost: "Senseless"
Title: "Senseless"
Author: Ari
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Pairing: Veronica/Lilly
Other Pairings Mentioned: Lilly/Logan, Lilly/Meg
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Backup for sexonastick in femslash06.
Summary: In a different world, Lilly's still got Veronica asking questions that can't be answered.
Wordcount: 1113
Senseless
Lilly Kane. She used to be my girlfriend.
I guess you could call it a high-school romance. We had all the ingredients -- sneaking around, lying, pre-marital sex -- all we needed was a pregnancy scare, and I could have been a prom mommy. But Lilly and I were both girls, and it's hard to accidentally knock someone up with a turkey baster, so now I'm single, friendless, and childfree on the streets of Neptune. And the classrooms of Neptune, and, right at this very moment, in the pizza parlor of Neptune, trying to order a pie with everything for me and my dad without accidentally antagonizing any 09ers by breathing their private pepperoni-scented air.
And there's Lilly, one arm wrapped around Meg Manning, the other dangling somewhere in the vicinity of Meg's ass, and I just have to wonder exactly why...
Or maybe I don't. Maybe the time for wondering is past and the time for action has arrived. Maybe it's time to stop fooling around with girl tricks, hair cuts and a new wardrobe, and figure out exactly why the fickle Miss Kane swayed away from me and into Meg's waiting arms. Somehow, I'm sure it has something to do with Duncan's death, and I'm determined to connect the dots.
"Hey Veronica." Lilly's voice was as sassy-sweet as ever, and for a minute Veronica could see Lilly waving wildly across the courtyard, blowing kisses with one hand and pushing up her breasts with the other, making Veronica squirm and smile as she laughingly made her way to Lilly's table. "Are you sure you can afford all that, Veronica? I mean, on a PI's salary?"
Meg, at least, had the courtesy not to laugh; the rest of the pep squadders cackled appreciatively. Once upon a time, Veronica had been one of their number, and she certainly understood the power of Lilly's charisma to make nice girls do terrible things.
"Have fun," she said, smiling as brightly as she could. "I hear there's a kegger on the beach, if you think your chances of getting laid at the pizza joint aren't good enough."
"Better than your chances," Lilly said, and for a terrible moment Veronica was sure she was going to say something horrible connecting Veronica with sex, but all she said was, "I mean, you're hardly going to meet any girls on the way back to -- where is it you live now? I can't keep all those white trash condos straight."
"You can't keep anything straight, Lilly," Veronica said, and didn't bother to stick around to find out whether Lilly's friends were laughing at her or with her.
++
The worst part about being Lilly Kane's ex-girlfriend was that she couldn't stop wondering, couldn't convince herself it wasn't her fault, couldn't totally get Lilly out of her mind.
At Shelley Pomeroy's party, Veronica almost caved; Lilly had glitter in her hair and kept giving Veronica drinks and then pretending that she hadn't, and making out with Logan Echolls and looking like she liked it, and generally making Veronica wish that she were anywhere but in Lilly's sightline. All Lilly had to do was ask, and Veronica would have been back in bed with her, no questions asked.
With a clear head, away from the booze and the glitter, Veronica swore she'd never take Lilly back even if she did try apologizing. Not that Lilly ever apologized. The times they'd broken up before, when Veronica got mad because Lilly kissed Logan, when Lilly got mad because Veronica refused to sneak out past curfew to go skinny-dipping, when Veronica got mad because Lilly wouldn't tell her where she went or who she was with when she was supposed to be celebrating Veronica's birthday, they'd always reunited quickly, no promises, no whining, no explanations. Lilly would wave frantically after avoiding Veronica's eyes for days, Veronica would walk over, and they'd kiss, and Veronica would forget everything but the taste of cherry lip balm and the scent of Lilly's skin.
At first Veronica thought it was Lilly's idea of a joke -- not a funny one, but very Lilly-esque. The mystery ("I've got a secret -- a good one,") the callousness ("I just -- I just don't think we should see each other. God, Veronica, get over myself,") the eventual indifference ("Secret? What? I think you've been daydreaming again, Veronica Mars.")
Lilly, like the rest of the life she used to have, seemed like a crazy carnival dream that had stopped suddenly with Veronica stranded at the top of the ferris wheel with nowhere to fall but down. She hated herself for it, but most days she actually cared more about why Lilly had left her than about why Duncan had died. She had no proof that they were connected except the certain knowledge that everything that happened in Neptune happened for a reason, and that it was no accident that she'd lost Lilly a week before they'd all lost Duncan.
That night, Lilly hadn't been herself, and Veronica was more frightened of Lilly's silent, glazed expression than she'd ever been of Lilly drunk or Lilly naked or Lilly flinging herself into the Pacific or Lilly daring her to go just a little further. Lilly's body was meant for movement, and the night Duncan died she was shock-still, wouldn't even acknowledge Veronica (not that that was unusual). She was the same as ever by the time she came back to school, grinning like it hadn't happened, accepting sympathy points from teachers like they were her due but winking at her friends on the sly.
++
"Hi sweetie. Successfully braved the pizza parlor?"
"It's not the pizza, Dad. It's the parlorettes."
"Lilly?" Her dad frowns disapproval.
"No big. I'll live."
"If there's something you need me to do..."
"I'm pretty sure you can't put Lilly in jail for murder one, which is the only thing that'll shut her up for good."
"If you're having problems...."
"Drop it. Let's just pig out, yes?"
Dad never liked Lilly, and who can blame him? She is the anti-parent, possibly the anti-adult. I'll be amazed if she survives high school without having a major incident with the law. Actually, I'll be amazed if Lilly lives to be twenty-one. I think before she's old enough, she'd kill herself to avoid the shame of drinking legally.
But I loved Lilly Kane.
And now...
now, whatever happens next, I'll have to live with that.
Because despite what Dad thinks about her father, and despite what everyone thinks they know about Abel Koontz, I'm almost certain that Lilly killed her brother.
And now I have to prove it.
Author: Ari
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Pairing: Veronica/Lilly
Other Pairings Mentioned: Lilly/Logan, Lilly/Meg
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Backup for sexonastick in femslash06.
Summary: In a different world, Lilly's still got Veronica asking questions that can't be answered.
Wordcount: 1113
Senseless
Lilly Kane. She used to be my girlfriend.
I guess you could call it a high-school romance. We had all the ingredients -- sneaking around, lying, pre-marital sex -- all we needed was a pregnancy scare, and I could have been a prom mommy. But Lilly and I were both girls, and it's hard to accidentally knock someone up with a turkey baster, so now I'm single, friendless, and childfree on the streets of Neptune. And the classrooms of Neptune, and, right at this very moment, in the pizza parlor of Neptune, trying to order a pie with everything for me and my dad without accidentally antagonizing any 09ers by breathing their private pepperoni-scented air.
And there's Lilly, one arm wrapped around Meg Manning, the other dangling somewhere in the vicinity of Meg's ass, and I just have to wonder exactly why...
Or maybe I don't. Maybe the time for wondering is past and the time for action has arrived. Maybe it's time to stop fooling around with girl tricks, hair cuts and a new wardrobe, and figure out exactly why the fickle Miss Kane swayed away from me and into Meg's waiting arms. Somehow, I'm sure it has something to do with Duncan's death, and I'm determined to connect the dots.
"Hey Veronica." Lilly's voice was as sassy-sweet as ever, and for a minute Veronica could see Lilly waving wildly across the courtyard, blowing kisses with one hand and pushing up her breasts with the other, making Veronica squirm and smile as she laughingly made her way to Lilly's table. "Are you sure you can afford all that, Veronica? I mean, on a PI's salary?"
Meg, at least, had the courtesy not to laugh; the rest of the pep squadders cackled appreciatively. Once upon a time, Veronica had been one of their number, and she certainly understood the power of Lilly's charisma to make nice girls do terrible things.
"Have fun," she said, smiling as brightly as she could. "I hear there's a kegger on the beach, if you think your chances of getting laid at the pizza joint aren't good enough."
"Better than your chances," Lilly said, and for a terrible moment Veronica was sure she was going to say something horrible connecting Veronica with sex, but all she said was, "I mean, you're hardly going to meet any girls on the way back to -- where is it you live now? I can't keep all those white trash condos straight."
"You can't keep anything straight, Lilly," Veronica said, and didn't bother to stick around to find out whether Lilly's friends were laughing at her or with her.
++
The worst part about being Lilly Kane's ex-girlfriend was that she couldn't stop wondering, couldn't convince herself it wasn't her fault, couldn't totally get Lilly out of her mind.
At Shelley Pomeroy's party, Veronica almost caved; Lilly had glitter in her hair and kept giving Veronica drinks and then pretending that she hadn't, and making out with Logan Echolls and looking like she liked it, and generally making Veronica wish that she were anywhere but in Lilly's sightline. All Lilly had to do was ask, and Veronica would have been back in bed with her, no questions asked.
With a clear head, away from the booze and the glitter, Veronica swore she'd never take Lilly back even if she did try apologizing. Not that Lilly ever apologized. The times they'd broken up before, when Veronica got mad because Lilly kissed Logan, when Lilly got mad because Veronica refused to sneak out past curfew to go skinny-dipping, when Veronica got mad because Lilly wouldn't tell her where she went or who she was with when she was supposed to be celebrating Veronica's birthday, they'd always reunited quickly, no promises, no whining, no explanations. Lilly would wave frantically after avoiding Veronica's eyes for days, Veronica would walk over, and they'd kiss, and Veronica would forget everything but the taste of cherry lip balm and the scent of Lilly's skin.
At first Veronica thought it was Lilly's idea of a joke -- not a funny one, but very Lilly-esque. The mystery ("I've got a secret -- a good one,") the callousness ("I just -- I just don't think we should see each other. God, Veronica, get over myself,") the eventual indifference ("Secret? What? I think you've been daydreaming again, Veronica Mars.")
Lilly, like the rest of the life she used to have, seemed like a crazy carnival dream that had stopped suddenly with Veronica stranded at the top of the ferris wheel with nowhere to fall but down. She hated herself for it, but most days she actually cared more about why Lilly had left her than about why Duncan had died. She had no proof that they were connected except the certain knowledge that everything that happened in Neptune happened for a reason, and that it was no accident that she'd lost Lilly a week before they'd all lost Duncan.
That night, Lilly hadn't been herself, and Veronica was more frightened of Lilly's silent, glazed expression than she'd ever been of Lilly drunk or Lilly naked or Lilly flinging herself into the Pacific or Lilly daring her to go just a little further. Lilly's body was meant for movement, and the night Duncan died she was shock-still, wouldn't even acknowledge Veronica (not that that was unusual). She was the same as ever by the time she came back to school, grinning like it hadn't happened, accepting sympathy points from teachers like they were her due but winking at her friends on the sly.
++
"Hi sweetie. Successfully braved the pizza parlor?"
"It's not the pizza, Dad. It's the parlorettes."
"Lilly?" Her dad frowns disapproval.
"No big. I'll live."
"If there's something you need me to do..."
"I'm pretty sure you can't put Lilly in jail for murder one, which is the only thing that'll shut her up for good."
"If you're having problems...."
"Drop it. Let's just pig out, yes?"
Dad never liked Lilly, and who can blame him? She is the anti-parent, possibly the anti-adult. I'll be amazed if she survives high school without having a major incident with the law. Actually, I'll be amazed if Lilly lives to be twenty-one. I think before she's old enough, she'd kill herself to avoid the shame of drinking legally.
But I loved Lilly Kane.
And now...
now, whatever happens next, I'll have to live with that.
Because despite what Dad thinks about her father, and despite what everyone thinks they know about Abel Koontz, I'm almost certain that Lilly killed her brother.
And now I have to prove it.