Last night I had a dream I was eating purple bananas.
They were really yummy.
What do you suppose that means?

I'm at work right now and I'm bored. Boooooooooooo!

Humans are so damn frustrating. I totally want to kick everyone's ass right now. Including my own...ESPECIALLY my own.
Why does everyone suck so much?!

That's the new phrase I thought up last night.
I'm very proud of myself for that one.

So I'm in my back yard, having my morning coffee + cigarette. I'm wearing a beat up men's sweatshirt that's about 5 sizes too big on me, dirty ol' sweatpants, no make up, huge bags under my eyes, and my hair is all kinds of messy. I do not look attractive AT ALL right now, yet this fucking construction worker feels the need to stand on his ladder ( Read more... )

She died. I just found out last night.

Oh my God, can't there just be a year where no one would die?

Fuck death. Fuck dying.

I'm so fucking over people I know fucking DYING!

Oh my God.
What the hell?
I think I'm still in denial or something.
I feel so fucking weird.

what's wrong with us?

are we mad?

why

are we

so

STUPID?!

They're tearing down the house next door to me, and as a result my house is shaking and it's really fucking noisy...it's like there's an earthquake. I don't like it one bit, and neither do my poor cats! Queenie is so terrified, she won't come out from under the bed. Oh dear.

I need to do two things:
1.) Stop smoking so many cigarettes!
2.) Stop going on myspace like 1,234,567,890 times a day!

I totally want to go back to sleep right now.

I want to have a mad tea party!
Who wants to have a mad tea party with meeeeeeeeeeee?!

I think opossums are totally fucking adorable. I want one. Or two. Or eight!!!!!!!!

( Read more... )