The first one more mostly -- I like "faded or brocaded" together, I like the way the similar position between the third stanza's "want to keep people" and the first stanza's "try" strengthens that echo; I don't like "snugness" at the end of the line and I do like "new silk" straight into "unrecognizable" on one line with the break after.
(And I really like the middle stanza especially, either way.)
(And I'm way out of practice and my taste probably especially tends towards the obvious these days, so, grain of salt etc...)
I can not even express how much I appreciate the input. It's been a while since I've gotten any. Grain of salt or otherwise, thank you thank you thank you. :)
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(And I really like the middle stanza especially, either way.)
(And I'm way out of practice and my taste probably especially tends towards the obvious these days, so, grain of salt etc...)
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