i had extremely strong feelings for someone that made me happy recently. something i haven't been in months. pardon the cliche of me being depressed and appearing homosexual. i've ruined it all. ruined all chance of me being loved by someone i really felt i loved. and im not going to even try to get involved with anyone. not for an extremely long ( Read more... )

sitting here with the smiths "asleep" on repeat. sharing blank stares at a cell phone that i know won't ring, and a computer where i know i won't get an instant message. fucking pathetic. really i know all i need to do is run up to my room and pop a zoloft or 3 and i won't be depressed. i throw back some alcohol with that and i won't feel a fucking ( Read more... )

fuck, i do believe i've done it once again. this time it's for real though, and it's all my fault. what the fuck have i done? mark me down for 1 life long regret. xo.

ok... so how wrong was i about having another "easy" day at work? ohhhh very? yea. working from 7am-10:30pm... totally not hip to my dip. i went to bed early and im still tired as hell. ::sigh:: i need to finish re-doing the band website. it looks like shit half done lol. ill get it done eventually, and that's all that matters i guess. philly today ( Read more... )

tomorrow may very well be another easy work day. i hope this easy work day buisiness doesn't come back and bite me in the ass and all of the sudden a week from now, we get slammed building shit until 2-3 in the morning. i'd die, but hey, the money would be amazing. oh well. pro's and con's just like everything else. got off my ass and wrote 3 new ( Read more... )

who feels much better now? gene feels much better now. ::le sigh:: xo!

people want to be quick to call themselves friends to me. "what the fuck ever." i think before people want to tell me they are my friends they need to think about what responsibilities come along with that shit. obviously people are completely ignorant to the fact that people other than themselves have feelings that should be respected even if that ( Read more... )

people want to be quick to call themselves friends to me. "what the fuck ever." i think before people want to tell me they are my friends they need to think about what responsibilities come along with that shit. obviously people are completely ignorant to the fact that people other than themselves have feelings that should be respected even if that ( Read more... )

looking presentable after an early ending day of work. freshly showered, freshly dolled up, and reeking of armani. i feel fucking good for once to say the least. spent the last 10 minutes dancing to new order here in the room with my kitty and we are having a blast. going to make dinner for ma'dukes in a few moments when she walks through the door ( Read more... )

hollerrrrrrrrrrrrrr!