Happy Pi Day, beware the Ides of March, and Happy St. Patrick's Day!
This post is for kaelie <3
My goodness, it's been months. That's a function of both winter brain fog and a touch of depression, I think.
But let's see,
I enjoyed the hell out of Lance's wedding on E! Who would have thought, back in the day, that we'd be watching that. (And as topaz119 said, Michael is a saint. I think that Lance must have rivaled Chris in the "You're at an 8 right now, I need you at a 4" department.
kiffle and hammerhead22 and I went to Chicago last weekend for a couple of Blackhawks games. It was fabulous, and I so, so enjoyed and needed being with people I don't have to explain myself to. (I love you both.)
Larry had some more cardiac issues in December and had two more stents put in. His cardiologist said he has more heart disease than one would expect in someone of his age and with his risk factors. Not what you want to hear. So he's been going to cardiac rehab three times a week, and he's not even been trying to weasel out of it, although he complains a lot. He's doing things like burpees and wall squats, and I'm actually very impressed.
We finally sold the house in Pittsburgh, to the original buyers who wanted it in November but were scared off by the home inspection. We spent a lot of time and effort either fixing things or bringing in actual experts to refute the inspection, and the buyers finally got over themselves and we closed on February 13. That in and of itself has reduced Larry's stress levels. Unfortunately, the house we bought in Columbus, despite how much I love it, needs new windows, siding, gutters, and a roof. But at least now we can do that.
The NHL All-Star Game in Columbus was great fun. I was unfortunately sick the whole time, but persevered anyway. Sebastian had the croup and I ended up with a horrible upper respiratory, too. (Larry refers to Seba as "that crusty-nosed baby" and he's not wrong. Daycare germs, man.)
So I volunteered at some of the outdoor ASG activities, including the giant snow slide, but it was cold out and there were fire pits, which sealed the whole bronchitis thing, and then I ran in the ASG 5K race in 30 degree temps, along with Stinger and Iceberg, and by the time that was over, I had ice picks in my chest. But the game was fun, although even Columbus fans got tired of hearing the cannon go off, they scored so many goals, the skills competition was awesome, our seats were good, and all in all it was a great experience.
Adam and Kae got a puppy last week, a King Charles spaniel, and I get to skype with him once a week. They named him Kumba, which is Japanese for bear. They're awesome, and Adam seems to have plans for revitalizing the whole bonsai culture in Japan. Which only Adam would think he could influence a centuries old culture, but he definitely has plans. The Japanese media seems to be fascinated with him and he just finished taping yet another TV show about the weird foreigner who's learning bonsai. He did a radio interview in actual Japanese the other day, although he had to record his answers after consulting with Kae, but he's pleased with his progress in Japanese school. He says if we come to visit him he won't be able to take any time off to spend with us, so we don't have any plans to head that way in the near future.
Instead, we were all talking about meeting in Disney World for marathon weekend in January. Then we decided that we should maybe shoot for Christmas instead, since only the girls and I would be running any races, which makes it a little boring for everyone else. (This idea was precipitated by Nic's mom suggesting to Erin that we all spend Christmas with them in San Antonio and Erin immediately trying to think of a way to avoid that.)
Speaking of Nic, he finally did it. After years of trying, he finally found another job. His "dream job." I get that working at Ball State and being in Muncie three days a week was not the best of circumstances for them, and I get that he's been looking for another job for a long time, and I get that it's my own fault for being complaisant about the fact that he's such a bad interview he's been turned down for every job that he's applied for and so who knew fucking Middlebury College in Vermont would actually offer him a job, but.
But. They're moving to Vermont in August. I can't begin to tell you how sad I am about that. I get it, they're adults, they have to live their own lives. I rolled my eyes at Larry's mom when we moved from Dayton to Pittsburgh and it became a 6 hour drive for her instead of a 2 hour one. She was so upset that she couldn't see her grandchildren as often and I scoffed. I never lived in the same city as my mom as an adult, and that was fine. She was way busier than I was and had a great, fun life. I couldn't figure out why Helen was so upset.
But now, of course, I get it. I'm trying to be cheerful about it. My feelings on the matter are not Erin and Nic's responsibility and I won't burden her with my sadness.
However, I could let them go much easier if Nic wasn't such a narcissistic asshole. Erin has been miserable since before they got married. And it's been getting worse and Christmas was horrible and she sat in my living room and cried and told me how much she hated him. We've talked about what the term "gaslighting" means and how to deal with being in a relationship with a narcissist and she was worried what Larry would think if her marriage failed - I didn't tell her he would scarcely be able to contain his glee, because she doesn't need to hear that. We had just gotten together a list of counselors she could pick from for her to go see - not with Nic, because he refuses to go, but that's probably just as well.
And then Middlebury said yes.
It was the last straw when in January Nic made sure that Erin - and by extension Ashley and I - wouldn't be able to go to Merri's wedding reception. It was the culmination of his saying no to or trying to prevent her from doing the things she wants to do involving people other than him. He fought tooth and nail to prevent her from going to Adam's wedding, and the only reason he's even agreeing to talk about Disney for Christmas is because he ostensibly feels guilty about taking her and Sebastian away from me to Vermont. Although he would prefer to go to the Bahamas. Such. an. ass.
(He keeps telling me that he knows moving away means more trips to Disney and he's trying to entice me to Vermont with trips to Montreal for hockey games.)
So he told her he got the job and she told him she was planning to ask him for a divorce. He was shocked, or so he said. He probably was. And his big promise was that if they moved to Vermont and things didn't get any better, he'd agree to counseling.
My poor girl, she's trying so hard to be optimistic, to think that this is going to make everything better. I'll agree that her being able to leave a job that causes her much stress, and them being able to actually live together, should help. Nic's been feeling isolated in Indiana, Erin's been feeling deserted.
It's been hard being the recipient of all her confidences and all her emotion - which is why I was lobbying so hard for counseling - and now being cut off because she's trying so hard to be positive. To be fair, Nic's trying to be less of an asshole, and if he can continue to do that, it would be good.
But the bottom line is I don't trust him. He hurt my child, and I can't forget that. But, you know, I'm just smiling and nodding along to all his enthusiasm about Middlebury. I'm not going to give him any excuses to try to further isolate her once they move.
And that doesn't even touch on Sebastian. Half the reason I gave up on Pittsburgh and finally moved to Columbus was Sebastian. We're not getting any younger here, and I thought at least we'd have this time to spend watching him grow up a little. He's walking now and this weekend he and Larry were walking in the yard and he was holding Larry's hand and I just felt so sad.
We were going to be his normal place, the place and people he could come to get a break from his overly-dramatic parents. (And if Larry and I are "normal" that just tells you how ridiculous Erin and Nic are. How do you define normal?)
I'm trying to deal but I'm not doing such a good job.
So between that, February's darkness, and the fact that I'm on my fourth cold since the All Star Game - this one is head, not chest, and it's miserable - I've been having trouble getting up off the couch. Running has gone out the window, which is probably why I've been so susceptible to all of Seba's germs. I'm so tired of being sick.
But the sun is shining - today, anyway - it's no longer February, my life is actually not that terrible, and I'm trying. I'm going to go for a walk, eat some leftover birthday cake, and go over to Erin's to eat dinner with her and read Sebastian a bedtime story. The Jackets are playing Edmonton tonight in an important game in the race to the bottom of the NHL standings and a good draft pick, and I was actually able to concentrate here long enough to put together more than a sentence or two.
So, not so bad. :)
My goodness, it's been months. That's a function of both winter brain fog and a touch of depression, I think.
But let's see,
I enjoyed the hell out of Lance's wedding on E! Who would have thought, back in the day, that we'd be watching that. (And as topaz119 said, Michael is a saint. I think that Lance must have rivaled Chris in the "You're at an 8 right now, I need you at a 4" department.
kiffle and hammerhead22 and I went to Chicago last weekend for a couple of Blackhawks games. It was fabulous, and I so, so enjoyed and needed being with people I don't have to explain myself to. (I love you both.)
Larry had some more cardiac issues in December and had two more stents put in. His cardiologist said he has more heart disease than one would expect in someone of his age and with his risk factors. Not what you want to hear. So he's been going to cardiac rehab three times a week, and he's not even been trying to weasel out of it, although he complains a lot. He's doing things like burpees and wall squats, and I'm actually very impressed.
We finally sold the house in Pittsburgh, to the original buyers who wanted it in November but were scared off by the home inspection. We spent a lot of time and effort either fixing things or bringing in actual experts to refute the inspection, and the buyers finally got over themselves and we closed on February 13. That in and of itself has reduced Larry's stress levels. Unfortunately, the house we bought in Columbus, despite how much I love it, needs new windows, siding, gutters, and a roof. But at least now we can do that.
The NHL All-Star Game in Columbus was great fun. I was unfortunately sick the whole time, but persevered anyway. Sebastian had the croup and I ended up with a horrible upper respiratory, too. (Larry refers to Seba as "that crusty-nosed baby" and he's not wrong. Daycare germs, man.)
So I volunteered at some of the outdoor ASG activities, including the giant snow slide, but it was cold out and there were fire pits, which sealed the whole bronchitis thing, and then I ran in the ASG 5K race in 30 degree temps, along with Stinger and Iceberg, and by the time that was over, I had ice picks in my chest. But the game was fun, although even Columbus fans got tired of hearing the cannon go off, they scored so many goals, the skills competition was awesome, our seats were good, and all in all it was a great experience.
Adam and Kae got a puppy last week, a King Charles spaniel, and I get to skype with him once a week. They named him Kumba, which is Japanese for bear. They're awesome, and Adam seems to have plans for revitalizing the whole bonsai culture in Japan. Which only Adam would think he could influence a centuries old culture, but he definitely has plans. The Japanese media seems to be fascinated with him and he just finished taping yet another TV show about the weird foreigner who's learning bonsai. He did a radio interview in actual Japanese the other day, although he had to record his answers after consulting with Kae, but he's pleased with his progress in Japanese school. He says if we come to visit him he won't be able to take any time off to spend with us, so we don't have any plans to head that way in the near future.
Instead, we were all talking about meeting in Disney World for marathon weekend in January. Then we decided that we should maybe shoot for Christmas instead, since only the girls and I would be running any races, which makes it a little boring for everyone else. (This idea was precipitated by Nic's mom suggesting to Erin that we all spend Christmas with them in San Antonio and Erin immediately trying to think of a way to avoid that.)
Speaking of Nic, he finally did it. After years of trying, he finally found another job. His "dream job." I get that working at Ball State and being in Muncie three days a week was not the best of circumstances for them, and I get that he's been looking for another job for a long time, and I get that it's my own fault for being complaisant about the fact that he's such a bad interview he's been turned down for every job that he's applied for and so who knew fucking Middlebury College in Vermont would actually offer him a job, but.
But. They're moving to Vermont in August. I can't begin to tell you how sad I am about that. I get it, they're adults, they have to live their own lives. I rolled my eyes at Larry's mom when we moved from Dayton to Pittsburgh and it became a 6 hour drive for her instead of a 2 hour one. She was so upset that she couldn't see her grandchildren as often and I scoffed. I never lived in the same city as my mom as an adult, and that was fine. She was way busier than I was and had a great, fun life. I couldn't figure out why Helen was so upset.
But now, of course, I get it. I'm trying to be cheerful about it. My feelings on the matter are not Erin and Nic's responsibility and I won't burden her with my sadness.
However, I could let them go much easier if Nic wasn't such a narcissistic asshole. Erin has been miserable since before they got married. And it's been getting worse and Christmas was horrible and she sat in my living room and cried and told me how much she hated him. We've talked about what the term "gaslighting" means and how to deal with being in a relationship with a narcissist and she was worried what Larry would think if her marriage failed - I didn't tell her he would scarcely be able to contain his glee, because she doesn't need to hear that. We had just gotten together a list of counselors she could pick from for her to go see - not with Nic, because he refuses to go, but that's probably just as well.
And then Middlebury said yes.
It was the last straw when in January Nic made sure that Erin - and by extension Ashley and I - wouldn't be able to go to Merri's wedding reception. It was the culmination of his saying no to or trying to prevent her from doing the things she wants to do involving people other than him. He fought tooth and nail to prevent her from going to Adam's wedding, and the only reason he's even agreeing to talk about Disney for Christmas is because he ostensibly feels guilty about taking her and Sebastian away from me to Vermont. Although he would prefer to go to the Bahamas. Such. an. ass.
(He keeps telling me that he knows moving away means more trips to Disney and he's trying to entice me to Vermont with trips to Montreal for hockey games.)
So he told her he got the job and she told him she was planning to ask him for a divorce. He was shocked, or so he said. He probably was. And his big promise was that if they moved to Vermont and things didn't get any better, he'd agree to counseling.
My poor girl, she's trying so hard to be optimistic, to think that this is going to make everything better. I'll agree that her being able to leave a job that causes her much stress, and them being able to actually live together, should help. Nic's been feeling isolated in Indiana, Erin's been feeling deserted.
It's been hard being the recipient of all her confidences and all her emotion - which is why I was lobbying so hard for counseling - and now being cut off because she's trying so hard to be positive. To be fair, Nic's trying to be less of an asshole, and if he can continue to do that, it would be good.
But the bottom line is I don't trust him. He hurt my child, and I can't forget that. But, you know, I'm just smiling and nodding along to all his enthusiasm about Middlebury. I'm not going to give him any excuses to try to further isolate her once they move.
And that doesn't even touch on Sebastian. Half the reason I gave up on Pittsburgh and finally moved to Columbus was Sebastian. We're not getting any younger here, and I thought at least we'd have this time to spend watching him grow up a little. He's walking now and this weekend he and Larry were walking in the yard and he was holding Larry's hand and I just felt so sad.
We were going to be his normal place, the place and people he could come to get a break from his overly-dramatic parents. (And if Larry and I are "normal" that just tells you how ridiculous Erin and Nic are. How do you define normal?)
I'm trying to deal but I'm not doing such a good job.
So between that, February's darkness, and the fact that I'm on my fourth cold since the All Star Game - this one is head, not chest, and it's miserable - I've been having trouble getting up off the couch. Running has gone out the window, which is probably why I've been so susceptible to all of Seba's germs. I'm so tired of being sick.
But the sun is shining - today, anyway - it's no longer February, my life is actually not that terrible, and I'm trying. I'm going to go for a walk, eat some leftover birthday cake, and go over to Erin's to eat dinner with her and read Sebastian a bedtime story. The Jackets are playing Edmonton tonight in an important game in the race to the bottom of the NHL standings and a good draft pick, and I was actually able to concentrate here long enough to put together more than a sentence or two.
So, not so bad. :)