OOPS DON'T MEAN TO BE A DOWNER I JUST FELT LIKE WRITING ABOUT IT

[wither]

I won't be calling my father for Father's Day, nor will he be calling me. We have an unspoken agreement that we love each other based on our unfortunate stand-offish similarities. I could go the rest of my life never speaking to him and not feel any worse off, or that he loved me any less. I'm his daughter. For him, family is all he has even if

Comments

[matt_doyle]

This is an excellent post. I am really impressed, actually, with the emotional positivity -- my dad was verbally abusive, paranoid and crazy, and generally impossible to live with, but not nearly as bad in most ways as yours, and my own emotional reactions to him are much less neutral-to-positive than yours to your dad.

But yeah. I relate to a lot of this, especially... I do love my father, and yet I cannot once recall missing his presence. About ten minutes every week on the phone is exactly the right dosage for me (and sometimes it is ten minutes too much). He messed me up, but not so much I can't function acceptably, and he gave me things of value as well.

Thanks for sharing this.

[wither]

fksjf sobbing I'm glad it was overall a positive thing! I like to talk about it

[matt_doyle]

I feel like it's selfish of me but whatever!! He probably feels the same way.

That, at least, is exactly the same with me and my dad.

[dalton]

this isn't a downer!! it's quite inspiring to read actually. I admire the ability to look back on growth objectively and know how far you've come. basically I aspire to be you when I grow up, the end.

[wither]

:') YOU'RE SO GOOD TO ME

[dalton]

PRIDE WHAT PRIDE

I DON'T SEE NO PRIDE HERE

dksjld shit this ain't about me, this is about you and how awesome you are LET ME LOVE YOU BY FORCE OKAY :V you may not think you're something special but I do, so there!! DEALWITHIT

[wither]

SOB SEE ABOVE IN REFERENCE TO MATT "UGH AFFECTION GET AWAY I'M NOT GOOD AT THIS PART"

:') but i am flattered you think so ok VERY FLATTERED

this is why my modesty score was so high on that test

[apology]

You are an amazing person.

[wither]

:*** as are you. look at you always encouraging me

sob truthfully i can barely hold myself together lately but WHATEVER WHATEVER. LIFE GOES ON. NO SENSE WHINING ABOUT IT. (i'll be whining about it as soon as i find the energy to whine)

[apology]

I just think you are amazing for dealing with all that & still being who you are.

FEEL FREE TO.

[wither]

OH GOD I WILL. I WILL. ONE DAY. I just get so frustrated when i go to type stuff out when regarding my life lately.

sob but for the rest of it: it happens. unfortunately parents being parents doesn't immediately give them maturity and/or the ability to raise children without irreparably damaging them by accident, simply because they have no idea how to raise them. unqualified jerks have kids all the time. it actually is a lot of hard work to be a good parent.

when i realised that, dealing with my dad and my incessantly enabling mom became a lot easier. it was like "these two people are still just people. they're my parents in name, but they don't even feel like parents so why should i treat them as such?"

i respect them to the limit i can. i don't know where my dad stands, but my mom is more of a sister to me than she'll ever be a mom.

this doesn't sound nearly as positive as i mean it to

[terrorcandy]

lksjfklffk you are the weirdest person emotionally, but you are so damn functional. it is a miracle to me. as always, enjoyed reading your brain contents.