[Text] This event will be the death of me.
Still don't see what the harm is... [Plus he's curious now.]
Let's start with the standard and wholly basic information shall we?
Full name and any nicknames or titles: Commonwealth of Australia/Australia/Oz/Brooke Kelly
Age (both actual and human equivalence): Uh, either 222 or 109, depending on where I'm counting from. I reckon I look about 18, right?
Species (if more than one please list all): Nation.
Gender (please state if hermaphrodite): Male.
Height: 178 cm
Weight: 80 kg
All done? Good! Now that that's out of the way we'll start with some simple questions!
1) What is your favorite season? Summer!
2) What is your favorite color? Green.
3) Favorite type of music? Rock and roll.
4) Favorite food? Vegemite!
5) What type of shoes do you like wearing most? Thongs.
6) Favorite animal (for this please use Earth animals)? I can only pick one? Ah, koalas, I s'pose.
7) Chunky or smooth peanut-butter, or are you allergic? Smooth.
8) White or wheat bread? White.
9) Have a lucky number? What is it? Five!
10) Jeans, skirt, pants, pajamas, or shorts? Shorts.
Alright so let's get to know you a little better!
11) Can you sing like an angel or is it like running nails down a chalk-board? I'm not bad?
12) Do you sing along to your music around people? What about dancing to your music… in public? Sure, why wouldn't I?
13) Play any musical instruments, how well? I can play the guitar pretty decent.
14) If you were taken to a karaoke bar what's the first song you'd pick (you have to sing, no choice)? You Shook Me All Night Long.
15) Any good at sports? Got any sport you're amazing at? How about terrible? I'm great at sports! All sports! Except ones with snow...
16) Even if you didn't go to school, what would have been your best subject? Your worst subject? Best, Phys Ed for sure. Worst... Maybe English?
17) Hey, do you have a lot of friends or just a few, do you even HAVE friends? I've got a shit ton of friends!
18) Got a best friend? Yeah, Kiwi.
19) So what is your ideal job (legal or otherwise)? Zoo keeper!
20) Alright, so let's say you get a day off from the dream job, what do you do on your day off? Laze about, crack one open...
So, how about some health questions?
21) Do you smoke, do you drink, heavily on either one? I used to smoke a bit, but I quit. I drink a lot.
22) Would you say you eat healthy? Sure!
23) What about your eyes? Are you blind in one of them? Both of them? My eyes are fine.
24) Can you hear or do you need assistance in that? Can hear fine.
25) Is your body in good shape? Do you work out? Yeah! Don't exactly go to the gym everyday but I do lots of physical stuff so it works out the same.
26) Are you missing any limbs? Have you had to replace them? Nope.
27) Were you born with any health problems: asthma, high blood pressure, cancer, etc.? Not really.
28) Have you gained any health problems in your life: breast cancer, diabetes, arthritis, burns? Burns.
29) Is there something that is different about you mentally: split-personality, ADD, hallucinations, etc.? ... Does being around 22 million people count?
30) Is your body covered in scars? 'm not as bad as some, but I've got my share.
I feel like I'm really starting to get to know you! I'm going to ask about your love life now.
31) First off, do you have a preference? ... Ah, not sure what ya... No?
32) So, do you like anyone in particular? Do they like you back? [asdfghjk ////] Not like that.
33) Are you a virgin? Was it lost willingly? None of ya.
34) So if you were married, would you want kids? Yes.
35) List ALL of your secret kinks (feet, bondage, blood, wrists, fish-net, BDSM, cat-ears, school girls/boys, etc.) Fuck off.
36) Do you like to cuddle? Ah, well, that's...
37) If you got to choose who you lost/lose your virginity too, who would it be? Indones I'm not answering this.
38) Who was your first kiss? Kiwi. It wasn't like that though.
39) Where, to you, would be a kinky place to have sex? And a romantic place? A wardrobe for the first one, beach for the second.
40) How much do/would you actually LIKE having sex? I reckon I'd like it...
Feeling a bit uncomfortable? Well we're going into your family now. If you have children we're going to focus on your own childhood.
41) How many are in your family? Too fucking many to count.
42) How many members of your family are still alive? All of 'em, last time I checked.
43) What's the relationship you have/had with your family? Complicated.
44) Do you think your parents would/are proud of you and the way you are now? ... Dunno. [:(]
45) Since a lot of people consider pets as part of the family, did/do you have any? I've had hundreds!
46) What's a pleasant memory you have of your family? First Chrissie at Pom's, even if it was fucking freezing.
47) What's a bad memory? World War One.
48) Where did you live when you were growing up? Me.
49) Ever try to run away/ get kicked out? Nope.
50) Did you have your own room when you were growing up? Yes.
Right, so we're going to get a bit dirty now, just a little bit though.
51) List seven bad-habits (you're welcome to list more than seven). Well, I swear a lot, drink a lot, have a bit of a refugee crisis, have trouble saying no, am a tad co-dependent, have trouble staying focused, and I'm a bit lazy sometimes.
52) What are five major irritations/pet-peeves of yours? Kiwi birds, rabbits, American tourists (no offense, mate), Fiji and cane toads.
53) What would make you get into a fist fight, even if you were a pacifist by nature? If they insulted someone in my family. Unless they were my family, like I said it's fucking huge.
54) Would you ever steal for fun? Yes,
55) If offered, would you do hard drugs? Have you already done them? Yeah, but I don't make a habit of it.
56) What is your deepest fear? ... I can be a tad claustrophobic. That's it though and it's only a little.
57) What is your darkest secret? If I said, it wouldn't be a secret now would it, love?
58) What have you done that you are ashamed of? ... Lots.
59) Have you ever caused someone to break down into tears? Yup.
60) List seven flaws, starting with your biggest. Didn't I already do this one?
Alright so this part may be a little tough for you. We're going to get deep in the mud with the questions. Now answer truthfully!
61) What would cause you to murder someone? Have you murdered someone? If it's war, it isn't murder.
62) Have you ever contemplated suicide? No.
63) Have you ever been arrested for something more than a misdemeanor? Nope.
64) Would you take pleasure in torturing someone if it was someone you absolutely despised and loathed with every fiber of your being? I don't like to think so.
65) If you could take revenge on everyone who has ever hurt you, would you? ... Nah.
66) What action would make you unable to look at yourself in the mirror? Hurting Kiwi Dunno.
67) Let's say you found the love of your life. You have a child with them and some unexpected life-threatening event occurs where you have to choose your child or the love of your life, whom do you choose? Child. I wouldn't fall in love with someone who'd pick themselves first.
68) Could you kill a child for any reason? ... Probably.
69) Would you sleep with someone to gain more power/a higher position/status? No.
70) Would you kill someone for power/a higher position/status? Nah. I'm good where I am.
Yeaaah I think a shower is in order, and maybe some comfort food. Alright, let's do something light and nice to make up for the depression I've induced.
71) Anyone you admire? Why do you admire them? Yes. God knows why.
72) What do you do when you're upset? Swimming or horse riding.
73) What would be an instant pick-me-up for you if you were having a bad day? A friendly visitor.
74) List seven nervous habits (running your hand through you hair, rubbing the inside of your wrist, rubbing the back of you neck, rambling, etc.). Putting my hands in my pockets, avoiding eye contact... Can't think of anything else.
75) Do you like to sleep on a soft mattress or a stiff one? Stiff.
76) Do you/did you sleep with a stuffed animal? Not now, got too many live ones, there's no room. Auntie Ireland gave me a stuffed possum when I was a kid though.
77) Do you like to sleep in late or even on days off you wake up early? I'm an early riser, on the norm.
78) Any collections (bottle caps, masks, art, gadgets, etc.)? Animals.
79) Any hobbies? Yup.
80) Would you rather play board games, video/computer games, or outdoor games (assume you have enough people for each category)? Outdoors.
Feel a little better? Not completely? Alright so here's so more light fun questions.
81) Shower or bath? Bath.
82) Hot or cold water for the previous question? Hot.
83) Favorite kind of dessert (hard candy, chocolate, jelly-beans, cake, pie, etc.)? Lamingtons!
84) What is your favorite ice-cream flavor and what is a flavor that sounds terrible to you? Strawberry and... I dunno, shit flavor or something.
85) What type of toppings do you put on your ice-cream, do you put any toppings? Choc sauce sometimes.
86) Driver's seat or passenger? Passenger.
87) Any particular place you want to visit (can be ANYWHERE, the moon, Disneyland, anywhere)? Uh, India! [Picked at random, oh yes.]
88) What animal would you want to be (again for ease please use animals on earth)? Dingo.
89) Favorite plant (tree, plant, flower your choice)? Banksia!
90) Favorite smell (lilacs, cinnamon, fresh laundry, blood, etc.)? Fresh water.
Feel all better now? Good! Just a few more questions!
91) Go to a play/musical, watch a movie, or read a book? Watch a movie.
92) Do you have a religion? Not officially.
93) Do you believe in karma? Guess so.
94) If someone was broken down on the side of the road would you stop to help them? Sure!
95) What sort of super power would you want to have (you can only have one power)? I wanna control water.
96) A genie is giving you three wishes, what do you wish for (no wishing for more wishes)? More fertile land, enough rain that I don't go into a drought or flood.... And a packet of Tim Tams that never runs out.
97) Where and what's your ideal place to live? Me!
98) Setting aside whether or not you fight, what is the type of weapon would you use? A knife or a shotgun.
99) The end of existence has been announced, you have a day until it ends, what do you do? ... Hang out with my family.
Last question
100) Do you like yourself? Yes!
Let's start with the standard and wholly basic information shall we?
Full name and any nicknames or titles: Commonwealth of Australia/Australia/Oz/Brooke Kelly
Age (both actual and human equivalence): Uh, either 222 or 109, depending on where I'm counting from. I reckon I look about 18, right?
Species (if more than one please list all): Nation.
Gender (please state if hermaphrodite): Male.
Height: 178 cm
Weight: 80 kg
All done? Good! Now that that's out of the way we'll start with some simple questions!
1) What is your favorite season? Summer!
2) What is your favorite color? Green.
3) Favorite type of music? Rock and roll.
4) Favorite food? Vegemite!
5) What type of shoes do you like wearing most? Thongs.
6) Favorite animal (for this please use Earth animals)? I can only pick one? Ah, koalas, I s'pose.
7) Chunky or smooth peanut-butter, or are you allergic? Smooth.
8) White or wheat bread? White.
9) Have a lucky number? What is it? Five!
10) Jeans, skirt, pants, pajamas, or shorts? Shorts.
Alright so let's get to know you a little better!
11) Can you sing like an angel or is it like running nails down a chalk-board? I'm not bad?
12) Do you sing along to your music around people? What about dancing to your music… in public? Sure, why wouldn't I?
13) Play any musical instruments, how well? I can play the guitar pretty decent.
14) If you were taken to a karaoke bar what's the first song you'd pick (you have to sing, no choice)? You Shook Me All Night Long.
15) Any good at sports? Got any sport you're amazing at? How about terrible? I'm great at sports! All sports! Except ones with snow...
16) Even if you didn't go to school, what would have been your best subject? Your worst subject? Best, Phys Ed for sure. Worst... Maybe English?
17) Hey, do you have a lot of friends or just a few, do you even HAVE friends? I've got a shit ton of friends!
18) Got a best friend? Yeah, Kiwi.
19) So what is your ideal job (legal or otherwise)? Zoo keeper!
20) Alright, so let's say you get a day off from the dream job, what do you do on your day off? Laze about, crack one open...
So, how about some health questions?
21) Do you smoke, do you drink, heavily on either one? I used to smoke a bit, but I quit. I drink a lot.
22) Would you say you eat healthy? Sure!
23) What about your eyes? Are you blind in one of them? Both of them? My eyes are fine.
24) Can you hear or do you need assistance in that? Can hear fine.
25) Is your body in good shape? Do you work out? Yeah! Don't exactly go to the gym everyday but I do lots of physical stuff so it works out the same.
26) Are you missing any limbs? Have you had to replace them? Nope.
27) Were you born with any health problems: asthma, high blood pressure, cancer, etc.? Not really.
28) Have you gained any health problems in your life: breast cancer, diabetes, arthritis, burns? Burns.
29) Is there something that is different about you mentally: split-personality, ADD, hallucinations, etc.? ... Does being around 22 million people count?
30) Is your body covered in scars? 'm not as bad as some, but I've got my share.
I feel like I'm really starting to get to know you! I'm going to ask about your love life now.
31) First off, do you have a preference? ... Ah, not sure what ya... No?
32) So, do you like anyone in particular? Do they like you back? [asdfghjk ////] Not like that.
33) Are you a virgin? Was it lost willingly? None of ya.
34) So if you were married, would you want kids? Yes.
35) List ALL of your secret kinks (feet, bondage, blood, wrists, fish-net, BDSM, cat-ears, school girls/boys, etc.) Fuck off.
36) Do you like to cuddle? Ah, well, that's...
37) If you got to choose who you lost/lose your virginity too, who would it be? Indones I'm not answering this.
38) Who was your first kiss? Kiwi. It wasn't like that though.
39) Where, to you, would be a kinky place to have sex? And a romantic place? A wardrobe for the first one, beach for the second.
40) How much do/would you actually LIKE having sex? I reckon I'd like it...
Feeling a bit uncomfortable? Well we're going into your family now. If you have children we're going to focus on your own childhood.
41) How many are in your family? Too fucking many to count.
42) How many members of your family are still alive? All of 'em, last time I checked.
43) What's the relationship you have/had with your family? Complicated.
44) Do you think your parents would/are proud of you and the way you are now? ... Dunno. [:(]
45) Since a lot of people consider pets as part of the family, did/do you have any? I've had hundreds!
46) What's a pleasant memory you have of your family? First Chrissie at Pom's, even if it was fucking freezing.
47) What's a bad memory? World War One.
48) Where did you live when you were growing up? Me.
49) Ever try to run away/ get kicked out? Nope.
50) Did you have your own room when you were growing up? Yes.
Right, so we're going to get a bit dirty now, just a little bit though.
51) List seven bad-habits (you're welcome to list more than seven). Well, I swear a lot, drink a lot, have a bit of a refugee crisis, have trouble saying no, am a tad co-dependent, have trouble staying focused, and I'm a bit lazy sometimes.
52) What are five major irritations/pet-peeves of yours? Kiwi birds, rabbits, American tourists (no offense, mate), Fiji and cane toads.
53) What would make you get into a fist fight, even if you were a pacifist by nature? If they insulted someone in my family. Unless they were my family, like I said it's fucking huge.
54) Would you ever steal for fun? Yes,
55) If offered, would you do hard drugs? Have you already done them? Yeah, but I don't make a habit of it.
56) What is your deepest fear? ... I can be a tad claustrophobic. That's it though and it's only a little.
57) What is your darkest secret? If I said, it wouldn't be a secret now would it, love?
58) What have you done that you are ashamed of? ... Lots.
59) Have you ever caused someone to break down into tears? Yup.
60) List seven flaws, starting with your biggest. Didn't I already do this one?
Alright so this part may be a little tough for you. We're going to get deep in the mud with the questions. Now answer truthfully!
61) What would cause you to murder someone? Have you murdered someone? If it's war, it isn't murder.
62) Have you ever contemplated suicide? No.
63) Have you ever been arrested for something more than a misdemeanor? Nope.
64) Would you take pleasure in torturing someone if it was someone you absolutely despised and loathed with every fiber of your being? I don't like to think so.
65) If you could take revenge on everyone who has ever hurt you, would you? ... Nah.
66) What action would make you unable to look at yourself in the mirror? Hurting Kiwi Dunno.
67) Let's say you found the love of your life. You have a child with them and some unexpected life-threatening event occurs where you have to choose your child or the love of your life, whom do you choose? Child. I wouldn't fall in love with someone who'd pick themselves first.
68) Could you kill a child for any reason? ... Probably.
69) Would you sleep with someone to gain more power/a higher position/status? No.
70) Would you kill someone for power/a higher position/status? Nah. I'm good where I am.
Yeaaah I think a shower is in order, and maybe some comfort food. Alright, let's do something light and nice to make up for the depression I've induced.
71) Anyone you admire? Why do you admire them? Yes. God knows why.
72) What do you do when you're upset? Swimming or horse riding.
73) What would be an instant pick-me-up for you if you were having a bad day? A friendly visitor.
74) List seven nervous habits (running your hand through you hair, rubbing the inside of your wrist, rubbing the back of you neck, rambling, etc.). Putting my hands in my pockets, avoiding eye contact... Can't think of anything else.
75) Do you like to sleep on a soft mattress or a stiff one? Stiff.
76) Do you/did you sleep with a stuffed animal? Not now, got too many live ones, there's no room. Auntie Ireland gave me a stuffed possum when I was a kid though.
77) Do you like to sleep in late or even on days off you wake up early? I'm an early riser, on the norm.
78) Any collections (bottle caps, masks, art, gadgets, etc.)? Animals.
79) Any hobbies? Yup.
80) Would you rather play board games, video/computer games, or outdoor games (assume you have enough people for each category)? Outdoors.
Feel a little better? Not completely? Alright so here's so more light fun questions.
81) Shower or bath? Bath.
82) Hot or cold water for the previous question? Hot.
83) Favorite kind of dessert (hard candy, chocolate, jelly-beans, cake, pie, etc.)? Lamingtons!
84) What is your favorite ice-cream flavor and what is a flavor that sounds terrible to you? Strawberry and... I dunno, shit flavor or something.
85) What type of toppings do you put on your ice-cream, do you put any toppings? Choc sauce sometimes.
86) Driver's seat or passenger? Passenger.
87) Any particular place you want to visit (can be ANYWHERE, the moon, Disneyland, anywhere)? Uh, India! [Picked at random, oh yes.]
88) What animal would you want to be (again for ease please use animals on earth)? Dingo.
89) Favorite plant (tree, plant, flower your choice)? Banksia!
90) Favorite smell (lilacs, cinnamon, fresh laundry, blood, etc.)? Fresh water.
Feel all better now? Good! Just a few more questions!
91) Go to a play/musical, watch a movie, or read a book? Watch a movie.
92) Do you have a religion? Not officially.
93) Do you believe in karma? Guess so.
94) If someone was broken down on the side of the road would you stop to help them? Sure!
95) What sort of super power would you want to have (you can only have one power)? I wanna control water.
96) A genie is giving you three wishes, what do you wish for (no wishing for more wishes)? More fertile land, enough rain that I don't go into a drought or flood.... And a packet of Tim Tams that never runs out.
97) Where and what's your ideal place to live? Me!
98) Setting aside whether or not you fight, what is the type of weapon would you use? A knife or a shotgun.
99) The end of existence has been announced, you have a day until it ends, what do you do? ... Hang out with my family.
Last question
100) Do you like yourself? Yes!