Autumn's 10 Word Challenge

[lostincandyrain]

your voice skims
the surface of my balloon
heart like a ball of yarn
I roll across the hardwood floors
slowly coming undone until
I'm just a fuzzy red
string leading nowhere,
my caliber
lost to your bidding.

you hand me Love in the plural and I
take each one and suckle until
there are no words left,
your doctrine pulled from chapped lips

Comments

[ylycoyote]

"you read Forever in my lines."

I like this line. The verb is an interesting one...one intonation implying past tense .....another intonation implying present/future tense......and both/either working to set a scene for the last two lines......

[lostincandyrain]

hehehe, I didn't even think of it possibly being past tense (since everything else is present); it sounds wrong when I say it aloud that way, but I do very much like the idea of it...

[autumnsea]

This stanza is the best (and standout section) for me:

"you hand me Love in the plural and I
take each one and suckle until
there are no words left,
your doctrine pulled from chapped lips
like rose petals, dried;
you read Forever in my lines."

I do like those lines, Jen.

[lostincandyrain]

Thanks Suzy! There is definitely more emotion in that part...