[PART 01] Dance for the Brokenhearted

[withkyulatte]

Title: Dance for the Brokenhearted. (PT 01)
Author: kyuppuccino
Pairing: Zhou Mi / Kyuhyun
Extra: R-rated (for cussing and hints of sex) / AU

Comments

[jenlovesmi]

I wanted to take the time to write my comments for you, to help you and to make you realize that you aren't bad. hmm, yeah

Comments on snippet one
I'm not a very good commenter but I will try my best.
The beginning: I found it very bitter, but in a very good way. I loved the way you used more dialouge to make him sound so desperate. Then it goes to Zhou Mi's thoughts of what happened in the past of his memories that pain him, but ulimately, he knew that he deserved more. Every memory he has makes him even more sad, but determined to go on. and when he said it's over, I felt it. That lie was too perfect and made it even sadder. I can't even find a good synonym, to describe it. The last line made it painfully bitter, the best line in snippet one. Usually when a person writes, the hardest thing is to end it with something that you know will be the readers last impression of that story. Very nice. Since it is a snippet I won't complain on the length.

[mintoro]

.....
Maybe it's my first time reading this kind of story, I can't really imagine = =
But I agree that it's so bitter T-T