All I ever needed is here in my arms
To start...there's... THAT. You all know what I mean. Sure, I get it, we have that so that we can have kids, gotcha. Whatever, I'm dealing with that. :D BUT!! Why does it have to affect everything else? I mean, last night, I was talking to Ryan, and he had to go a lot earlier than he thought he was going to (his dad needed the computer...we were on aim) ...and because I am the baby that I am, I felt like crying. Granted, I didn't, but still, that's stupid right? I had seen him Saturday, and we'd been talking for a half an hour, but I couldn't shake this feeling that I should just cry.
Then today...to make a VERY LONG story short...I got off the phone with him...went down for dinner, totally numb. Finished eating, went back to my room, cried my eyes out, called him back, and apologized. What?! Okay, those who know me know that I was never this big of a baby before. It used to take a little more than all this nonsense to make me cry. And no, I'm not telling why I apologized. It's my business, not yours, and I don't feel like sharing.
Then there's the very shallow fact that clothes shopping (however much fun we pretend it can be) is actually a miserable experience. Especially for people who are funny shaped. I have no butt, big hips...and long legs. But does anyone make pants that will fit me?! No! They will get two of the three things right, and then I'm screwed for the last. Today I went to buy a pair of pants...which fit my butt/hip area, but if I sit, it's kinda silly. They are for work though, where I stand for like 6 and a half hours, so I should be alright. And then...well...shirts are another thing completely....they never quite fit right...there are a couple things that keep them from doing so. But whatever...I'm being spoiled.
Then, of course, there is the horrible emo child that lurks beneath the surface that screams "lemme out!!" every once in a while. She was out in full force today. She bitched this morning cuz she couldn't find the shirt she wanted. Then she bitched cuz her car wouldn't start. Then she wanted to go get coffee, but she left her wallet at home, and so she sulked all through math. Then she tried calling someone who hung up on her, so she assumed the worst (which was quite bad). But most of all, she cried twice today. TWICE!!!
Plus, there's the all nagging parental supervision that seems to plague girls more than guys. Doesn't it seem (and sorry Lars, I'm totally alienating you and I don't care) that your mother's always have to know every little thing? And sure, if they see you crying, they are gonna want to know what's wrong. But when you start to tell them, shouldn't they at least PRETEND they care?
Okay...so now that I've whined a little, like I always seem to do, on to other things that aren't so bad:
Ren Fest in 4 days!! Woot!! I'm pretty excited, the dork that I am...plus I get to spend the day with my best friend and my boyfriend, and a pretty cool guy...maybe. Haha, not so sure about that last one...we'll see. But I'll be sure to take lots of pictures and such.
I've decided that I am a total internet junkie anymore. I thought it was just a few sites, but it isn't. It's just the whole friggin thing....cuz I'm a loser.
A new friend of mine, someone I met through work...sorta...called me today. How she got my number, I may never know, but she left me a message during composition. I have yet to call her back. Her parents are getting a divorce. And her dad, the one she will most likely be staying with, is moving to New York. While Dee would totally be good up there, she...isn't thrilled about it. But it's better than what's she's been talking about. She's been thinking about dropping out of school. If she moves up there, she'll be closer to art schools, and she might be more determined to finish out high school. I know it's weird because it was a weird way to meet someone, and I probably shouldn't be friends with her, but I'm worried about her. She is really sweet, and I think she owes it to herself to stay in school and get into a college she'll enjoy.
Wow, this is really long. I've polluted everyone's friend pages like crazy today. I don't really care if anyone actually read this. Like I said when I started this, I'm using this as a theraputic thing...and I don't care if anyone else ever sees any of this, I do it because it makes me feel better about stuff.
But I love you all so much!!!