K/M fic: Recumbere
Title: Recumbere
Author: witblogi
Fandom: STAR TREK
Pairings: Kirk/Mccoy
Rating: PG
Words: ~2000
Warnings: it's a tad pointless and incredibly ....schmoopy? D: also, unbetaed
Summary: Bones' mother is getting remarried, Joanna is a schemey teenager, Jim contemplates the meaning of family and love, and Bones...lays around
Notes: written in the angsty tornado that is me trying to write my big bang
Bones felt utterly at peace. It was a strange and foreign feeling to him after so long being stressed, tired, depressed or just in a general bad mood. The breeze that floated over him was warm and refreshing carrying with it the scents of home.
He basked in the warmth and comfort, holding the whole world in the palm of his hand. Well, maybe more the crook of his elbow. He tightened his hold on his baby girl, not such a baby any more, grown just enough to stretch the full length of the hammock with him, toe to toe with her head tucked comfortably under his chin.
“I been thinkin’,” Joanna said after a moment. Bones, mellow as he was, just hummed and pressed a kiss into her hair, the same damn brown his was.
“I been thinkin’ about Jim.” She pushed her weight onto her elbow, wriggling just enough to look him in the eye and jostle the hammock into a gentle swing. Bones raised a brow at her.
“What about him?” He’d really hoped his daughter would put off romantic thoughts -especially those that could be directed towards his younger friends- perhaps indefinitely. But hell, he wasn’t an idiot, she was a beautiful teenage girl, she’d probably done and thought all sorts of things related to boys he didn’t particularly want to know the details of by now. And Jim, Jim was hard to ignore as far as attraction went, he almost couldn’t blame her.
“I think he really needs you.” She squinted slightly at him and looked so much like her mother for a moment Bones was forced to blink and squint back.
“Of course he needs me. He’d be dead quite a few times over by now if it wasn’t for me.” He dropped one leg briefly to set the hammock rocking again. Joanna shook her head and pressed her lips together and looked so positively tired of his ignorance Bones fought off a grin. Only a parent could be on the end of a look like that and moments like this, even more than hammock time or shared hobbies made him feel like her father after all.
“No. He needs you. To remind him someone out there cares about him, someone loves him.” She dropped her head to his shoulder again, “That he has a family.”
Inside, decorations were being hung, and the bustle of busy people preparing was audible. The veranda and the hammock however remained quiet, and lazy and contemplatively at peace.
“Sometimes,” she whispered, “Sometimes he acts like all he’s got is his bones.”
The hammock swayed to a stop, Bones’ foot left to dangle forgotten on the ground. Somewhere in the distance a screen door banged open.
“Yeah, I suppose he does.”
--
Bones was lying on the roof later, just looking up at the stars, glass of bourbon clutched in one hand, the other pillowed under his head. The breeze was a tad chillier than it had been during the afternoon in the hammock, but no less comforting.
A shadow moved and blocked the meager light coming through the window he’d left open behind him. He closed his eyes for a moment while the shadow climbed out onto the roof with him. The warmth of another, familiar body settled beside him.
He inhaled the smell of home, opened his eyes and continued to stargaze.
“Big day’s tomorrow.” Jim murmured, voice politely hushed. Bones let his brows draw in to a frown and swirled his drink in his glass. His mother was getting married, again.
He had never expected it, never really thought about being truly able to fill the holes that someone else left behind. Maybe she hadn’t, but she was happy again and that was what mattered. Her fiancé was a good man, had his own family of grown children, good taste in liquor, Bones liked him.
“Are you okay?” He asked in the same low polite voice. Bones turned his head, seeing Jim was solely focused on him, the stars above, as chilling and magnificent as they were, forgotten.
“Yeah,” He paused and tried to actually determine whether it was true or not, “Yeah kid, I’m fine.”
“It…it’s okay not to be fine.” He offered carefully, “It didn’t matter how old I got, I was never alright when my mom got…” He swallowed audibly and Bones pressed his eyes closed tightly. He’d forgotten. Jim had gone through a string of stepfathers, none of them spectacular examples of humanity. And here Bones was, dragging him into likely painful memories, all for what? Moral support?
“Jim.” He turned up onto his elbow, facing the other man, his glass clutched loosely in his hand, “You know you don’t have to stay if this is too hard-”
Jim frowned at him.
“What? No, I was invited Bones. Your mom invited me.” He said with finality that made Bones roll his eyes.
“I’m sure she would understand, given the circumstances.”
Jim shook his head once with finality and then after a pause opened his mouth again, “Joanna said something to me today.”
Bones let one eyebrow pull up in suspicion. After what she had so innocently proposed on the hammock he had thought she was done offering her adolescent brand of clarity.
“Oh really.”
“She said she’s happy I’m family. And then she hugged me.” He swallowed, a thick punctuation in the quiet of the night. “Family. So, Bones, I’m not going to skip out on this.”
“Jim,” Bones said in a hushed voice trying to find the words to explain Joanna was…a very clever but very manipulative girl. He had no doubt she meant the words she had spoken, but he also had no doubt she was plotting some kind of ulterior outcome.
“That’s what family does isn’t it? They’re supposed to stick around through the hard parts?”
Bones ached, he ached for whoever had made Jim like this, unsure of the most basic aspects of family, of love.
“Yeah, yeah Jim, they stick through the hard parts.” He let himself fall again onto his back, pillowing arm this time reaching out to snag around Jim’s shoulders. It only took a small tug and they were pressed shoulder to shoulder hip to hip, his arm supporting Jim’s neck.
They looked up at the stars in a kind of stubborn silence only to be broken by the rustling of Jim’s pants as he deftly hooked his foot over Bones’, entwining their legs.
--
The rustling of the down comforter and the shift of weight on his mattress as someone climbed in roused him. He didn’t spring awake however, knowing he’s safe in his home, knowing only two people who would climb into bed with him.
When he didn’t feel long hair brushing over his arms or teenage elbows in his ribs to wake him the rest of the way up he knew exactly who has joined him. What he didn’t know was why.
All previous bed sharing he’d done with Jim had been because of something. A birthday, an anniversary, a mission gone awry, something that could only be healed with the comfort and safety of another body tucked close.
Now however, the morning after his mother’s wedding there was no crisis, no real emotional turmoil. Only a lingering tinge of a hangover and the dim morning light flooding through the bay windows of his bedroom occupied his mind.
He opened his eyes slowly feeling scratchy and achy like he usually did after a party. Jim looked…Jim looked like Jim, a bit tired around the edges, skin too pale, purple circles beneath his eyes, stubble and faint lines surrounding his plush mouth. But the blue of his irises was just as vibrant and alert as always and Bones gave him a watery familiar smile.
“Hey.”
“How do you know the difference between loving and being in love?” His voice was a tad raspy and definitely more alert than Bones wanted to be at the moment. The question posed was heavy and required thought and answer he wasn’t sure he was capable of yet.
“I’ve been thinking about it all night. Where do you draw the line? I love Uhura, and I’m attracted to her but I’m not in love with her. I love Spock, he’s all that keeps me sane sometimes he’s…” Jim flailed for words, “I love Sulu and Chekov and Scotty they’re like brothers in their own ways. But I’m not in love with any of them.” His words seemed to tumble out on top of each other in their race to be heard.
Bones rubbed an eye.
“Jim,” he started, brows furrowed.
“They’re my family.” Jim continued in his hush hurried voice, “They’re my family, but you, you’re my family,” His voice wavered, eyes worried, “You’re my family and I love all of them but I love you.” His legs shifted under the warm weight of the sheets.
Bones just looked at him, took in his square face, his furrowed brow, his bottom lip bitten red.
“Bones,” he sounded so broken, “Is there a difference?”
He could tell him, tell Jim, right then to get out of his bed, to stop over thinking things and to stop seeing what wasn’t there. He could say family was family simple and easy. But he would be lying to him.
“Of course there’s a difference,” His tone was almost scolding as he reached a warm hand out to cup the back of Jim’s neck, to pull him forward and rest their foreheads together, “Of course.”
“I don’t know how-” He tried to talk, tried to pull back and Bones just hushed him and kept him where he was.
“It doesn’t matter what you know. All that matters is what you want.” He slowly pulled back far enough to see those sharp eyes, hand still cradling the back of his skull.
“I want,” he licked his lips, “I want to stick through the rest of all the hard parts.”
Bones stayed silent and just let it soak in for a minute, letting Jim’s warm breath mingle with his own in the space between them.
“Bones,” Jim whispered, hand coming up to cup his ear, “Is that what you want?”
In reply, Bones took another breath and hooked one of his feet around Jim’s ankle tugging him closer.
“Joanna said something to me the other day as well, Jim.” He let them both pull back enough to look at each other.
“She said, sometimes you act like all you’ve got is your bones.”
Jim smiled, eyes creasing with affection and recognition.
“She was wrong,” he breathed into the space between them, letting his fingers work and feel the soft hairs at the nape of Jim’s neck, “You’ve got your bones,” he pulled Jim closer again, “What’s left of my bones,” he sighed into his mouth, “And all the hard parts you want.” they were so close their noses brushed each others cheeks, Jim’s long eyelashes tickling Bones’s skin.
“Bones and hard parts hm?” Jim smiled and nipped at Bones’ bottom lip, worrying the thin skin there delicately before licking away the hurt.
“Jim,” Bones only managed a small annoyed warning before the distance between them was sealed properly and he was being kissed and kissed and kissed.
“That’s the difference between them,” Jim said breathlessly after he’d pulled back and opened his eyes. He smiled as Bones furrowed his brow in confusion.
“I don’t want to kiss Spock like that.” He laughed, and Bones joined him after a moment, tangled in Jim’s limbs and the bed sheets.
He was beginning to understand how his mother repaired the holes left in her heart with another person.
The feeling of wholeness was starting to seep through his limbs and into his very bones already.
Author: witblogi
Fandom: STAR TREK
Pairings: Kirk/Mccoy
Rating: PG
Words: ~2000
Warnings: it's a tad pointless and incredibly ....schmoopy? D: also, unbetaed
Summary: Bones' mother is getting remarried, Joanna is a schemey teenager, Jim contemplates the meaning of family and love, and Bones...lays around
Notes: written in the angsty tornado that is me trying to write my big bang
Bones felt utterly at peace. It was a strange and foreign feeling to him after so long being stressed, tired, depressed or just in a general bad mood. The breeze that floated over him was warm and refreshing carrying with it the scents of home.
He basked in the warmth and comfort, holding the whole world in the palm of his hand. Well, maybe more the crook of his elbow. He tightened his hold on his baby girl, not such a baby any more, grown just enough to stretch the full length of the hammock with him, toe to toe with her head tucked comfortably under his chin.
“I been thinkin’,” Joanna said after a moment. Bones, mellow as he was, just hummed and pressed a kiss into her hair, the same damn brown his was.
“I been thinkin’ about Jim.” She pushed her weight onto her elbow, wriggling just enough to look him in the eye and jostle the hammock into a gentle swing. Bones raised a brow at her.
“What about him?” He’d really hoped his daughter would put off romantic thoughts -especially those that could be directed towards his younger friends- perhaps indefinitely. But hell, he wasn’t an idiot, she was a beautiful teenage girl, she’d probably done and thought all sorts of things related to boys he didn’t particularly want to know the details of by now. And Jim, Jim was hard to ignore as far as attraction went, he almost couldn’t blame her.
“I think he really needs you.” She squinted slightly at him and looked so much like her mother for a moment Bones was forced to blink and squint back.
“Of course he needs me. He’d be dead quite a few times over by now if it wasn’t for me.” He dropped one leg briefly to set the hammock rocking again. Joanna shook her head and pressed her lips together and looked so positively tired of his ignorance Bones fought off a grin. Only a parent could be on the end of a look like that and moments like this, even more than hammock time or shared hobbies made him feel like her father after all.
“No. He needs you. To remind him someone out there cares about him, someone loves him.” She dropped her head to his shoulder again, “That he has a family.”
Inside, decorations were being hung, and the bustle of busy people preparing was audible. The veranda and the hammock however remained quiet, and lazy and contemplatively at peace.
“Sometimes,” she whispered, “Sometimes he acts like all he’s got is his bones.”
The hammock swayed to a stop, Bones’ foot left to dangle forgotten on the ground. Somewhere in the distance a screen door banged open.
“Yeah, I suppose he does.”
--
Bones was lying on the roof later, just looking up at the stars, glass of bourbon clutched in one hand, the other pillowed under his head. The breeze was a tad chillier than it had been during the afternoon in the hammock, but no less comforting.
A shadow moved and blocked the meager light coming through the window he’d left open behind him. He closed his eyes for a moment while the shadow climbed out onto the roof with him. The warmth of another, familiar body settled beside him.
He inhaled the smell of home, opened his eyes and continued to stargaze.
“Big day’s tomorrow.” Jim murmured, voice politely hushed. Bones let his brows draw in to a frown and swirled his drink in his glass. His mother was getting married, again.
He had never expected it, never really thought about being truly able to fill the holes that someone else left behind. Maybe she hadn’t, but she was happy again and that was what mattered. Her fiancé was a good man, had his own family of grown children, good taste in liquor, Bones liked him.
“Are you okay?” He asked in the same low polite voice. Bones turned his head, seeing Jim was solely focused on him, the stars above, as chilling and magnificent as they were, forgotten.
“Yeah,” He paused and tried to actually determine whether it was true or not, “Yeah kid, I’m fine.”
“It…it’s okay not to be fine.” He offered carefully, “It didn’t matter how old I got, I was never alright when my mom got…” He swallowed audibly and Bones pressed his eyes closed tightly. He’d forgotten. Jim had gone through a string of stepfathers, none of them spectacular examples of humanity. And here Bones was, dragging him into likely painful memories, all for what? Moral support?
“Jim.” He turned up onto his elbow, facing the other man, his glass clutched loosely in his hand, “You know you don’t have to stay if this is too hard-”
Jim frowned at him.
“What? No, I was invited Bones. Your mom invited me.” He said with finality that made Bones roll his eyes.
“I’m sure she would understand, given the circumstances.”
Jim shook his head once with finality and then after a pause opened his mouth again, “Joanna said something to me today.”
Bones let one eyebrow pull up in suspicion. After what she had so innocently proposed on the hammock he had thought she was done offering her adolescent brand of clarity.
“Oh really.”
“She said she’s happy I’m family. And then she hugged me.” He swallowed, a thick punctuation in the quiet of the night. “Family. So, Bones, I’m not going to skip out on this.”
“Jim,” Bones said in a hushed voice trying to find the words to explain Joanna was…a very clever but very manipulative girl. He had no doubt she meant the words she had spoken, but he also had no doubt she was plotting some kind of ulterior outcome.
“That’s what family does isn’t it? They’re supposed to stick around through the hard parts?”
Bones ached, he ached for whoever had made Jim like this, unsure of the most basic aspects of family, of love.
“Yeah, yeah Jim, they stick through the hard parts.” He let himself fall again onto his back, pillowing arm this time reaching out to snag around Jim’s shoulders. It only took a small tug and they were pressed shoulder to shoulder hip to hip, his arm supporting Jim’s neck.
They looked up at the stars in a kind of stubborn silence only to be broken by the rustling of Jim’s pants as he deftly hooked his foot over Bones’, entwining their legs.
--
The rustling of the down comforter and the shift of weight on his mattress as someone climbed in roused him. He didn’t spring awake however, knowing he’s safe in his home, knowing only two people who would climb into bed with him.
When he didn’t feel long hair brushing over his arms or teenage elbows in his ribs to wake him the rest of the way up he knew exactly who has joined him. What he didn’t know was why.
All previous bed sharing he’d done with Jim had been because of something. A birthday, an anniversary, a mission gone awry, something that could only be healed with the comfort and safety of another body tucked close.
Now however, the morning after his mother’s wedding there was no crisis, no real emotional turmoil. Only a lingering tinge of a hangover and the dim morning light flooding through the bay windows of his bedroom occupied his mind.
He opened his eyes slowly feeling scratchy and achy like he usually did after a party. Jim looked…Jim looked like Jim, a bit tired around the edges, skin too pale, purple circles beneath his eyes, stubble and faint lines surrounding his plush mouth. But the blue of his irises was just as vibrant and alert as always and Bones gave him a watery familiar smile.
“Hey.”
“How do you know the difference between loving and being in love?” His voice was a tad raspy and definitely more alert than Bones wanted to be at the moment. The question posed was heavy and required thought and answer he wasn’t sure he was capable of yet.
“I’ve been thinking about it all night. Where do you draw the line? I love Uhura, and I’m attracted to her but I’m not in love with her. I love Spock, he’s all that keeps me sane sometimes he’s…” Jim flailed for words, “I love Sulu and Chekov and Scotty they’re like brothers in their own ways. But I’m not in love with any of them.” His words seemed to tumble out on top of each other in their race to be heard.
Bones rubbed an eye.
“Jim,” he started, brows furrowed.
“They’re my family.” Jim continued in his hush hurried voice, “They’re my family, but you, you’re my family,” His voice wavered, eyes worried, “You’re my family and I love all of them but I love you.” His legs shifted under the warm weight of the sheets.
Bones just looked at him, took in his square face, his furrowed brow, his bottom lip bitten red.
“Bones,” he sounded so broken, “Is there a difference?”
He could tell him, tell Jim, right then to get out of his bed, to stop over thinking things and to stop seeing what wasn’t there. He could say family was family simple and easy. But he would be lying to him.
“Of course there’s a difference,” His tone was almost scolding as he reached a warm hand out to cup the back of Jim’s neck, to pull him forward and rest their foreheads together, “Of course.”
“I don’t know how-” He tried to talk, tried to pull back and Bones just hushed him and kept him where he was.
“It doesn’t matter what you know. All that matters is what you want.” He slowly pulled back far enough to see those sharp eyes, hand still cradling the back of his skull.
“I want,” he licked his lips, “I want to stick through the rest of all the hard parts.”
Bones stayed silent and just let it soak in for a minute, letting Jim’s warm breath mingle with his own in the space between them.
“Bones,” Jim whispered, hand coming up to cup his ear, “Is that what you want?”
In reply, Bones took another breath and hooked one of his feet around Jim’s ankle tugging him closer.
“Joanna said something to me the other day as well, Jim.” He let them both pull back enough to look at each other.
“She said, sometimes you act like all you’ve got is your bones.”
Jim smiled, eyes creasing with affection and recognition.
“She was wrong,” he breathed into the space between them, letting his fingers work and feel the soft hairs at the nape of Jim’s neck, “You’ve got your bones,” he pulled Jim closer again, “What’s left of my bones,” he sighed into his mouth, “And all the hard parts you want.” they were so close their noses brushed each others cheeks, Jim’s long eyelashes tickling Bones’s skin.
“Bones and hard parts hm?” Jim smiled and nipped at Bones’ bottom lip, worrying the thin skin there delicately before licking away the hurt.
“Jim,” Bones only managed a small annoyed warning before the distance between them was sealed properly and he was being kissed and kissed and kissed.
“That’s the difference between them,” Jim said breathlessly after he’d pulled back and opened his eyes. He smiled as Bones furrowed his brow in confusion.
“I don’t want to kiss Spock like that.” He laughed, and Bones joined him after a moment, tangled in Jim’s limbs and the bed sheets.
He was beginning to understand how his mother repaired the holes left in her heart with another person.
The feeling of wholeness was starting to seep through his limbs and into his very bones already.