This Won't Hurt A Bit
“ Rosie! No!” Harry exclaimed upon rounding the corner into his living room and seeing the grinning three-year-old wave his wand with a flourish. A bright light shot from the instrument with a bang and then next thing he knew Rose was blinking widely up at him and covered completely with purple leopard spots.
Harry dropped to his knees, taking his wand away from her and stuffing it into his back pocket as he examined her for more serious injuries rubbing at the spots decorating her skin.
“ You’re parents are going to kill me,” he sighed and frowned as she giggled and pushed his glasses back up his nose, her sticky fingers leaving the lenses smudged and blurry.
--
St. Mungo’s wasn’t too busy that slow Saturday afternoon as Harry apparated in with Rosie on his hip. He shrugged a bit further into his jacket and approached the young witch at the front counter.
“ I’d like to admit a Miss Rose Weasley?” He asked keeping his eyes low as he set her into the counter beside him.
“ What happened?” The witch asked passing him a quill and several forms. Harry began filling them in.
“ She, uh, grabbed my wand,” he stopped her from curiously pulling the quill from his hand while the witch before him gasped.
“ You let a young child within reach of your wand?” she looked completely scandalized and Harry flushed and shrugged even deeper into his jacket.
“ It was an accident, I’ll, erm, fill these out over there,” he pulled Rosie down off the counter where she merrily waved goodbye to the pretty witch and set her down beside him where she immediately tried to go bolting off after a man who jangled and changed colours with every step.
“ Rosie I need you to stay with me for a bit and then we can get you all patched up okay?” he hauled her back in sinking to his haunches on her level. She giggled again and nodded, reminding him forcibly of her mother. Harry grumbled and put a hand on her shoulder to steer her to the mismatched chairs near by.
--
After waiting for who knows how long in a partially partitioned section of the spell damage ward the curtains were finally yanked back and a healer in typical lime green St. Mungo’s robes strode in.
“ Malfoy!” Harry yelped jumping to his feet to stand protectively before Rosie, who swung her legs into the small of his back and giggled all the while. The healer looked up and sneered.
“ Potter, well I’d like to say I’m surprised but I’m not, I figured you’d end up here eventually,” He summoned the chart from where it was stored on the end of the bench Rosie was currently perched on. He flipped back the first page and raised an eyebrow leaning to peer around Harry.
“ So you’ve managed to hex a child,” he mused, “ A Weasley no less! What, jealous your mudblood managed to wrangle a weasel spouse and reproduce before you?”
“ Shut up Malfoy,” Harry drew his wand and pointed it directly into Malfoy’s throat, “ You are not going to be my healer-“
“ You’re right, I’m not,” he blinked and smoothly sidestepped Harry approaching a wide eyed Rosie, “ Hello Miss. Weasley; I’m Healer Malfoy,” he said very professionally making Rosie start swinging her legs again.
“ No, you’re not doing this Malfoy, get us a different healer,” Harry hissed but Malfoy ignored him, calmly withdrawing his wand.
“ It’s not up to you.” He said before concentrating on Rosie again, “ Miss Weasley would you like a different Healer?” he asked and she shook her head no.
“ You have pretty hair,” she grinned widely showing off a mouthful of baby teeth, and tugging on her own ginger curls as Harry scoffed and Malfoy chuckled.
“ Yes, I do. I’ve got my father’s colour like you,” he moved his wand in an odd pattern before her.
“ You know dada?” she whispered in awe, Harry groan inwardly as Draco smirked again.
“ Unfortunately. Now, lets see what we can do about these spots,” he set his brow in concentration and began to cast complicated charms over her, Harry watched carefully making sure nothing dark or sinister was weaved into the mix. Finally Malfoy straightened up and made a few notes on Rose’s chart turning back to Harry at last.
“ She’s cast a rather complicated mood and colour shape charm, they’re usually not cast on humans but inanimate objects such as coins and rings. I’m fairly certain that’s why its staying constant,” Malfoy eyed him to make sure he comprehended, “ Would you like me to remove the charm?” he asked coolly, tucking the chart under one arm as if he was preparing to leave.
“ Yes! Why would I bring her here if I wanted her to stay spotted and purple!” Harry fumed but took one look at Rosie and vowed not to lose his temper completely with the button pushing blond. Malfoy turned back to Rose and gripped his wand firmly.
“ I promise this won’t hurt a bit, Miss Weasley,” Rosie giggled, Malfoy tossed a look over his shoulder at Harry. He then waved his wand in an odd pattern mumbling the counter curse and the purple spots decorating Rosie’s small body began to fade and finally she was her pleasantly plump pink normal self. Malfoy stepped back to examine his handiwork and then gestured for Harry to see for himself.
“ Rosie! You’re not a spotted purple leopard anymore!” Harry exclaimed scooping his goddaughter up into his arms as she giggled and growled in what she thought was a fierce leopard-like manner while he smothered her cheeks in kisses.
“ Next time, Potter, I suggest you be a bit more careful where you decide to put your wand,” Malfoy calmly made his way to the partition in the curtains again.
“ You’d like that, Malfoy,” Harry grumbled, setting Rose back down and fixing her dress from where it’d gotten rumpled. Malfoy turned and smirked over his shoulder before disappearing. Harry frowned in his wake and prepared to take Rosie home.
--
The second time he was in St. Mungo’s with Rose that late afternoon it was a fair bit more busy, and he had a difficult time telling the people who recognized him that no, he couldn’t tell them the tale of how he’d defeated Voldemort because every time he opened his mouth all that came out was clucking and crowing.
Harry wrote down on his comment sheet what had happened, Rosie had stolen his wand, right from his pocket this time and transfigured his voice box into that of a rooster or some other such poultry. Now they waited in the same spell damage ward, this time Harry on the bench and Rosie playing in the corner with a stuffed hippogriff she’d brought with her.
“Well well Potter, two times in one day, I’d say you’re making up excuses to talk to me,” Malfoy smirked far too gleefully at Harry as he sauntered in, greeting a barely caring Rosie.
Harry frowned deeply and shook his head, pointing for Malfoy to leave. Malfoy continued examining his chart.
“ I’m sorry what’s that? You’re going to have to verbally express if you’d wish me to leave or have another healer,” Malfoy waited patiently as Harry fumed and then let out an angry cluck. Malfoy sniggered.
“ Finally, reduced to the cock you truly are,” he sniggered and moved forward before Harry had a chance to do anything and went to feeling up his throat. Harry froze, his neck was one of those sensitive zones that only Ginny had really touched before and now Malfoy’s cool fingers were prodding and feeling out the shape of his larynx, while the other hand supported the back of his head.
It was very weird, surreal in a sense as he sat there, letting Malfoy inspect him so intimately. He swallowed roughly on the tension that now surrounded them, even Rosie was quiet in her play. His heart was beating far too fast to be considered normal, Malfoy was sure to notice, he could practically hear it-
“ Say my name for me?” Malfoy startled Harry in his murmured request and Harry hesitantly said ‘Malfoy’ only it came out sounding more like three half clucks and a long warbling crow.
“ Say my first name, Potter,” Malfoy finally stood back and watched as Harry frowned at him and tentatively opened his mouth, “ Dra-co,” he managed fine and Malfoy took up his chart and started making notes furiously.
“ Your vocal cords are fine but it appears that your speech patterns are what has been modified. When you say a word you’ve never said aloud before you had to over ride the spell and use your voice by force.” Malfoy smirked up at him, “ I can remove the charm, but I find only one of us being able to speak saves quite a lot of time and effort trying to get words in edge wise,” He finished up his notes, as Harry clucked his annoyance in Malfoy’s reluctance to fix him, “ You’ve also high blood pressure, you should take it easy, no more stressful babysitting, or look into a different profession for your health. Aurors’ Stress is infamous for its heart attack rates.” He went on, sliding the charts away and putting himself together in the silence.
Harry frowned and grabbed Malfoy’s lime sleeve, shaking it and pointing to his throat.
“ All right, but just for the record you are much more enjoyable without a voice,” Malfoy turned and with a sharp wave of his wand Harry coughed and sighed.
“ Finally,” He rasped in his familiar voice, “ I thought you were going to leave me like that forever!” he frowned up at Malfoy who just shook his head, “ What do you mean I’m more enjoyable without a voice?” he asked absently rubbing his throat to get rid of the ghost feeling of Malfoy’s fingers.
“ No voice, no annoying voiced conscience or hero psycho babble or do-gooder attitude, all you can do is sit there and look pretty and that suits me just fine,” Malfoy leered while Harry collected his and Rosie’s things.
“ Malfoy-” Harry frowned, “ Wait, what did you just say?” he asked as the healer rolled his eyes and made to leave. “ Malfoy! Are you flirting with me?” Harry led Rosie out of the room, following Malfoy’s long strides down the hall. Falling behind he scooped her up and jogged after him. “ Do you fancy-”
Malfoy turned sharply and cut him off, crushing his moving mouth with a bruising kiss. Harry froze in the foreign contact, but a fire that was only stoked occasionally by Malfoy’s barbs started to blaze within him and he joined the kiss. When they pulled apart, sucking in loud lungfuls of air Harry blinked dazedly, “-me?”
“ Much better than talking,” Malfoy frowned and pushed Harry’s glasses back up his nose with one finger to the narrow bridge.
“ Much,” Harry agreed, and Rosie giggled.
.
Harry dropped to his knees, taking his wand away from her and stuffing it into his back pocket as he examined her for more serious injuries rubbing at the spots decorating her skin.
“ You’re parents are going to kill me,” he sighed and frowned as she giggled and pushed his glasses back up his nose, her sticky fingers leaving the lenses smudged and blurry.
--
St. Mungo’s wasn’t too busy that slow Saturday afternoon as Harry apparated in with Rosie on his hip. He shrugged a bit further into his jacket and approached the young witch at the front counter.
“ I’d like to admit a Miss Rose Weasley?” He asked keeping his eyes low as he set her into the counter beside him.
“ What happened?” The witch asked passing him a quill and several forms. Harry began filling them in.
“ She, uh, grabbed my wand,” he stopped her from curiously pulling the quill from his hand while the witch before him gasped.
“ You let a young child within reach of your wand?” she looked completely scandalized and Harry flushed and shrugged even deeper into his jacket.
“ It was an accident, I’ll, erm, fill these out over there,” he pulled Rosie down off the counter where she merrily waved goodbye to the pretty witch and set her down beside him where she immediately tried to go bolting off after a man who jangled and changed colours with every step.
“ Rosie I need you to stay with me for a bit and then we can get you all patched up okay?” he hauled her back in sinking to his haunches on her level. She giggled again and nodded, reminding him forcibly of her mother. Harry grumbled and put a hand on her shoulder to steer her to the mismatched chairs near by.
--
After waiting for who knows how long in a partially partitioned section of the spell damage ward the curtains were finally yanked back and a healer in typical lime green St. Mungo’s robes strode in.
“ Malfoy!” Harry yelped jumping to his feet to stand protectively before Rosie, who swung her legs into the small of his back and giggled all the while. The healer looked up and sneered.
“ Potter, well I’d like to say I’m surprised but I’m not, I figured you’d end up here eventually,” He summoned the chart from where it was stored on the end of the bench Rosie was currently perched on. He flipped back the first page and raised an eyebrow leaning to peer around Harry.
“ So you’ve managed to hex a child,” he mused, “ A Weasley no less! What, jealous your mudblood managed to wrangle a weasel spouse and reproduce before you?”
“ Shut up Malfoy,” Harry drew his wand and pointed it directly into Malfoy’s throat, “ You are not going to be my healer-“
“ You’re right, I’m not,” he blinked and smoothly sidestepped Harry approaching a wide eyed Rosie, “ Hello Miss. Weasley; I’m Healer Malfoy,” he said very professionally making Rosie start swinging her legs again.
“ No, you’re not doing this Malfoy, get us a different healer,” Harry hissed but Malfoy ignored him, calmly withdrawing his wand.
“ It’s not up to you.” He said before concentrating on Rosie again, “ Miss Weasley would you like a different Healer?” he asked and she shook her head no.
“ You have pretty hair,” she grinned widely showing off a mouthful of baby teeth, and tugging on her own ginger curls as Harry scoffed and Malfoy chuckled.
“ Yes, I do. I’ve got my father’s colour like you,” he moved his wand in an odd pattern before her.
“ You know dada?” she whispered in awe, Harry groan inwardly as Draco smirked again.
“ Unfortunately. Now, lets see what we can do about these spots,” he set his brow in concentration and began to cast complicated charms over her, Harry watched carefully making sure nothing dark or sinister was weaved into the mix. Finally Malfoy straightened up and made a few notes on Rose’s chart turning back to Harry at last.
“ She’s cast a rather complicated mood and colour shape charm, they’re usually not cast on humans but inanimate objects such as coins and rings. I’m fairly certain that’s why its staying constant,” Malfoy eyed him to make sure he comprehended, “ Would you like me to remove the charm?” he asked coolly, tucking the chart under one arm as if he was preparing to leave.
“ Yes! Why would I bring her here if I wanted her to stay spotted and purple!” Harry fumed but took one look at Rosie and vowed not to lose his temper completely with the button pushing blond. Malfoy turned back to Rose and gripped his wand firmly.
“ I promise this won’t hurt a bit, Miss Weasley,” Rosie giggled, Malfoy tossed a look over his shoulder at Harry. He then waved his wand in an odd pattern mumbling the counter curse and the purple spots decorating Rosie’s small body began to fade and finally she was her pleasantly plump pink normal self. Malfoy stepped back to examine his handiwork and then gestured for Harry to see for himself.
“ Rosie! You’re not a spotted purple leopard anymore!” Harry exclaimed scooping his goddaughter up into his arms as she giggled and growled in what she thought was a fierce leopard-like manner while he smothered her cheeks in kisses.
“ Next time, Potter, I suggest you be a bit more careful where you decide to put your wand,” Malfoy calmly made his way to the partition in the curtains again.
“ You’d like that, Malfoy,” Harry grumbled, setting Rose back down and fixing her dress from where it’d gotten rumpled. Malfoy turned and smirked over his shoulder before disappearing. Harry frowned in his wake and prepared to take Rosie home.
--
The second time he was in St. Mungo’s with Rose that late afternoon it was a fair bit more busy, and he had a difficult time telling the people who recognized him that no, he couldn’t tell them the tale of how he’d defeated Voldemort because every time he opened his mouth all that came out was clucking and crowing.
Harry wrote down on his comment sheet what had happened, Rosie had stolen his wand, right from his pocket this time and transfigured his voice box into that of a rooster or some other such poultry. Now they waited in the same spell damage ward, this time Harry on the bench and Rosie playing in the corner with a stuffed hippogriff she’d brought with her.
“Well well Potter, two times in one day, I’d say you’re making up excuses to talk to me,” Malfoy smirked far too gleefully at Harry as he sauntered in, greeting a barely caring Rosie.
Harry frowned deeply and shook his head, pointing for Malfoy to leave. Malfoy continued examining his chart.
“ I’m sorry what’s that? You’re going to have to verbally express if you’d wish me to leave or have another healer,” Malfoy waited patiently as Harry fumed and then let out an angry cluck. Malfoy sniggered.
“ Finally, reduced to the cock you truly are,” he sniggered and moved forward before Harry had a chance to do anything and went to feeling up his throat. Harry froze, his neck was one of those sensitive zones that only Ginny had really touched before and now Malfoy’s cool fingers were prodding and feeling out the shape of his larynx, while the other hand supported the back of his head.
It was very weird, surreal in a sense as he sat there, letting Malfoy inspect him so intimately. He swallowed roughly on the tension that now surrounded them, even Rosie was quiet in her play. His heart was beating far too fast to be considered normal, Malfoy was sure to notice, he could practically hear it-
“ Say my name for me?” Malfoy startled Harry in his murmured request and Harry hesitantly said ‘Malfoy’ only it came out sounding more like three half clucks and a long warbling crow.
“ Say my first name, Potter,” Malfoy finally stood back and watched as Harry frowned at him and tentatively opened his mouth, “ Dra-co,” he managed fine and Malfoy took up his chart and started making notes furiously.
“ Your vocal cords are fine but it appears that your speech patterns are what has been modified. When you say a word you’ve never said aloud before you had to over ride the spell and use your voice by force.” Malfoy smirked up at him, “ I can remove the charm, but I find only one of us being able to speak saves quite a lot of time and effort trying to get words in edge wise,” He finished up his notes, as Harry clucked his annoyance in Malfoy’s reluctance to fix him, “ You’ve also high blood pressure, you should take it easy, no more stressful babysitting, or look into a different profession for your health. Aurors’ Stress is infamous for its heart attack rates.” He went on, sliding the charts away and putting himself together in the silence.
Harry frowned and grabbed Malfoy’s lime sleeve, shaking it and pointing to his throat.
“ All right, but just for the record you are much more enjoyable without a voice,” Malfoy turned and with a sharp wave of his wand Harry coughed and sighed.
“ Finally,” He rasped in his familiar voice, “ I thought you were going to leave me like that forever!” he frowned up at Malfoy who just shook his head, “ What do you mean I’m more enjoyable without a voice?” he asked absently rubbing his throat to get rid of the ghost feeling of Malfoy’s fingers.
“ No voice, no annoying voiced conscience or hero psycho babble or do-gooder attitude, all you can do is sit there and look pretty and that suits me just fine,” Malfoy leered while Harry collected his and Rosie’s things.
“ Malfoy-” Harry frowned, “ Wait, what did you just say?” he asked as the healer rolled his eyes and made to leave. “ Malfoy! Are you flirting with me?” Harry led Rosie out of the room, following Malfoy’s long strides down the hall. Falling behind he scooped her up and jogged after him. “ Do you fancy-”
Malfoy turned sharply and cut him off, crushing his moving mouth with a bruising kiss. Harry froze in the foreign contact, but a fire that was only stoked occasionally by Malfoy’s barbs started to blaze within him and he joined the kiss. When they pulled apart, sucking in loud lungfuls of air Harry blinked dazedly, “-me?”
“ Much better than talking,” Malfoy frowned and pushed Harry’s glasses back up his nose with one finger to the narrow bridge.
“ Much,” Harry agreed, and Rosie giggled.
.