i've been saying this for ages! and speaking as a religious whacko, it would be nice because the state tends to screw up the church more than the church messes up the state, in my experience . . . if we are going to have a purely secular government, there is no reason for doing anything more than a civil union. this is my present opinion anyway, subject to change . . .
Honey, being religious does NOT make you a whacko. Though I'd be interested in how you think the state screws up the church, since the church usually receives benefits from the state. In any case--you're not a whacko because you have a belief system. It's people who try to force their morals onto others THRU government regulation and forced inequality who are whackos.
It makes sense for an atheist to not feel the need for a traditional marriage. Generally, I'd say that a marriage is a union that is acknowledged by the state and a religious authority. But if you don't believe in God, there isn't really any sense in having a wedding in his name. A civil marriage would just be a legal contract that binds the couple together.
I think that a lot of people perhaps find civil unions less romantic, it's sort of like checking a box on a tax form. Although the religious aspect is removed, the spiritual aspect also seems to dissolve. And I think, especially for women, the spiritual aspect is the most important part of the whole ordeal.
Personally, I've always been quite fond of handfastings. I wish they were a legal form of marriage. You get a ceremony (handfastings are where the term 'tie the knot' came from) and are committed to each other for a year and a day. After that time, you can renew your commitment (which I find exciting and romantic) or decide to part ways.
I love the concept of handfasting, and I also fully agree with you that a civil union seems a lot less romantic and a lot more formulaic/business like.
The great thing about how things currently are is that a handfasting ceremony can still be done and a marriage license still procured. I guess, though, that if you chose to part ways at the end of a year you'd still be saddled with all that divorce crap.
Marriage is a state sponsored act, and requires no religious affiliations. It has always been a state sponsored act, it just so happens that for a long time the state was religious. Giving religious people their own term for the act, i.e. marriage, and defining a new word for your own version of the act, makes very little sense.
I wish people would stop associating marriage with religiosity; they aren't linked anywhere but in your mind.
I dig what Adam is saying. With one exception...and yes..it's a personal preference. -I *want* to get *married*. I don't want a *civil union*. I really don't understand why we can't just have the right of *marriage* bestowed upon every consenting adult that want's one. Man/Woman. Woman/Woman. Man/Man. Who cares! Let's leave those religious yahoo's out of this. If they want to exclude people from their version of heaven or marriage. Who cares? Let them have thier own little hate party off to the side of mainstream life. As far as LEGAL unions go...I think we should give every one out there a fair and equal shake. Until I can articulate further...I must leave my pathetic arguments at this. Off to think about it...
sing it sister! (also, i got your message over the weekend, but it's been crazy with school stuff and the whatnot -- although i'm here on lj, so i guess i don't have THAT much of an excuse! sorry. :( i'll be able to breathe tomorrow, so i'll try to give you a call then).
Haha. I feel the same way. I tell people how busy my life is...and yet I am completely addicted to checking my Livejournal, Myspace, and E-Mail. Hahaha.
it all has to do with history. marriage is the term we've used in our culture (western/european). no one used the term civil unions before the recent past. civil union does not have the same social or cultural meaning as marriage, so the fact that it has a very similar literal meaning is, for many people, irrelevant. marriage is our word for a union between a couple, usually meant to cement family and social ties, produce offspring and create a support unit for those offspring. (and some of us also say it has something to do with love, but that's not really a necessary ingredient
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This is why you are one of my all time best friends and favorite people. You took what I was thinking, and you put it into such an eloquent little mini essay. So thought out and mini researched!
This is exactly, to a t, what I think and feel about the situation. It's a cultural institution. You can't just take that away from people.
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In any case--you're not a whacko because you have a belief system. It's people who try to force their morals onto others THRU government regulation and forced inequality who are whackos.
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I think that a lot of people perhaps find civil unions less romantic, it's sort of like checking a box on a tax form. Although the religious aspect is removed, the spiritual aspect also seems to dissolve. And I think, especially for women, the spiritual aspect is the most important part of the whole ordeal.
Personally, I've always been quite fond of handfastings. I wish they were a legal form of marriage. You get a ceremony (handfastings are where the term 'tie the knot' came from) and are committed to each other for a year and a day. After that time, you can renew your commitment (which I find exciting and romantic) or decide to part ways.
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The great thing about how things currently are is that a handfasting ceremony can still be done and a marriage license still procured. I guess, though, that if you chose to part ways at the end of a year you'd still be saddled with all that divorce crap.
Huh.
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I wish people would stop associating marriage with religiosity; they aren't linked anywhere but in your mind.
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Until I can articulate further...I must leave my pathetic arguments at this. Off to think about it...
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(also, i got your message over the weekend, but it's been crazy with school stuff and the whatnot -- although i'm here on lj, so i guess i don't have THAT much of an excuse! sorry. :( i'll be able to breathe tomorrow, so i'll try to give you a call then).
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This is exactly, to a t, what I think and feel about the situation.
It's a cultural institution. You can't just take that away from people.
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