Leave a comment

Comments 34

conbug July 26 2010, 09:01:19 UTC
Yeah... Another Time loop and just before i go on holiday.

I always enjoy these.

Especially enjoyed Sarah's and Andy scene very well done, and Sarah and Cameron one more kiss just in case Ahhh so good.

and your ending is almost enough for me to wanna watch the first film again. i could just see it all in my head.

quietly (well trying anyway) waiting for next one >VBG

Reply

wkgreen July 26 2010, 12:42:40 UTC
Thanks conbug. Glad I could put images into your head. :)

Reply


demoka July 26 2010, 11:14:28 UTC
oooh... But I wouldn't think too hardly about it myself, cause then I might make my head implode! XP

Sweet and sad, but a wonderful image, that kiss scene!

Reply

wkgreen July 26 2010, 12:45:34 UTC
Thanks demoka. Yeah, time travel has a tendency to cause head explosions. :)

Reply


red_hope1 July 26 2010, 14:07:47 UTC
That was really good! I def didnt see that coming at the end. It made me laugh too and not cuz its funny. It just sucks for Sarah, the poor woman. Totally agree that it fits to your series's name. This is probably my favorite one out of your Time Loop series. :)

Thanks for another great read!

Reply

wkgreen July 26 2010, 15:42:41 UTC
Thanks for reading and commenting red_hope1. Yeah, Sarah isn't going to catch a break is she. :)

Reply


wkgreen July 27 2010, 00:41:19 UTC
_________________________________________________________________

She sighs as she leans her head back against the Jeep[+']s headrest.

but she lays odds they are making out more the[-e+a]n studying.

shocked that someone he was attracted to h[-h]is holding a gun on him.

they have used way more the[-e+a]n they need to,

her young is[-is] face [+is] tense as she deals with the gentleman and she throws a not

I noticed you tend to confuse your 'then' [in the future] with your 'than' [better than that], great work :)
I should write some of my ideas but there just never are enough hours in the day :P

sscout
________________________________________________________________

Hmm... now that you mention it, I think you are right. Might have something to do with how I pronounce them in my head. I have to make an effort to make them distinct.

And yes you should! I highly encourage others to write their own time loops! :)

Reply


zennie July 27 2010, 01:40:36 UTC
Hey, nice job on this. I like the restart at the end, back to the absolute beginning. I don't always have time to read very much lately unless it's drafts for the VS, but the paradox subtitle caught me. Keep it up.

Reply

wkgreen July 27 2010, 01:52:34 UTC
Thanks Zennie! :)

Reply


Leave a comment

Up