Without Sukira, OR A Venture of Panty Robin Hoods
Without Sukira, OR A Venture of Panty Robin Hoods
Band Gen (Eeteuk, Eunhyuk), Crack, PG-13, 1254 words, Archive
A/N: In a world where Sukira doesn't exist! (And in which it is more than slightly implied that Eeteuk and Eunhyuk fail a lot...) ... /cries.
Original Post @ pornaloudinc
For the past three years, between the times of 10pm and 12 midnight, Eeteuk and Eunhyuk have never been seen. The years before that, they were seen either lazing about, or in the practice room, but now...
All for random reasons, and nothing outlandish at all, they would excuse themselves from doing nothing in the dorms. They needed to sleep early. There was a schedule they needed to prepare for. They were busy composing, or writing, and didn't want to be disturbed. A mom was sick, a sister was sick, a dog needed surgery, I'm on vacation, I need to wax and who wants to see that.
No one notices that their leader and their dancing machine have never been sighted between the witching hours of ten to twelve.
Sungmin is the first to find a red lace thong hanging out of Eunhyuk's usually neat vanity drawer.
"Hyukkie..." Sungmin starts, vaguely hesitant. "What--"
"Panties," Eunhyuk interrupts, gaping a little too much. "Those aren't mine, why are they there oh my god Jungsoo-hyung oh crap crap crap crap--"
Next thing Sungmin knows, he's being shoved out the dorm hearing things like mutterings of "He's gonna get it" and "Not mine not mine" and "Don't worry" accompanied by nervously shrill laughter.
"Hyung," Yesung says one day, in that Yesung sort of way. "Why did you use a pair of ladies' underwear as a poor blanket substitute for my turtles?"
Eeteuk turns in his desk chair to face him. "What makes you think I gave your pets ladies' underwear?"
"Your name's on it. See? 'For your personal collection. To: Leader Eeteu--'"
"AHTDATDATDAT, okay. I see," Eeteuk interrupts, extending an hand out to motion for Yesung to return the underwear, and hiding his face with the other.
"Wouldn't boy shorts have been more suitable?" Yesung wonders, as he plops into a kitchen chair. Ryeowook doesn't know what he's talking about but smiles and nods and hands him a bowl of soup.
After, Ryeowook tells Sungmin who relays his own panty anecdote. As it turns out, there were odd items of the delicate nature appearing in their dorm, with no apparent reason as to why they were there.
Siwon found a pair of purple granny panties in his shoes. Kibum found a g-string with the string so thin, it was like an invisible fishing line. Kyuhyun found yellow boy shorts deep in Zhou Mi's back pocket (they don't mention how Kyuhyun's hand found its way into Zhou Mi's back pocket).
Of course, everyone knew the other morning when Heechul found Baengsin wearing three pairs of panties tied together to form some sort of cloth diaper after staying in Eeteuk's room the night before. No one was able to unhear the raucous cackling that followed.
They all have a good laugh over it, attributing it to fan gifts getting more aggressively sexual. They're getting older and so are the fans, after all. There's nothing too shady about the matter, until the news reaches Shindong (who could hear the original conversation from the toilet). He remembers passing by during Yesung and Eeteuk's conversation and also, more importantly, hearing what Yesung couldn't.
"I swear I... tag off... should quit..." Eeteuk had mumbled under his breath.
Then, he remembered that he had seen Eeteuk sneaking around their dorm last week.
Shindong slips when he walks out his bedroom door.
A curse flies out his mouth as his legs fly outward. He rubs at his ass, sore after landing, and questions his will to continue with the day.
Against the dark hardwood flooring, it's hard not to notice the cause of his fall and he unwittingly picks it up. Shindong stares a long moment before realizing, yes, it is a piece of women's lingerie, hot pink leopard print panties with cotton candy pink lace-trim. Complete with a tiny black bow at the front. Part of Victoria's Secret's Sexy Little Things collection, if he has to put a name to it.
"A foreign brand," Shindong says. "Why does it look used?"
"What's all the commoti--Oh." Eunhyuk stumbles out his bedroom, scratching his head until he sees Shindong on the ground, the offending object dangling from hesitant fingers. "Uh..."
"Are these yours?" he asks.
"N-No," Eunhyuk replies. "It's yours... Isn't it?"
Shindong is confused but not surprised when Eunhyuk turns a nice fire engine red. He becomes slightly more suspicious when Eunhyuk looks away and worriedly mutters, "Did he mess up again? Maybe old man is getting old."
"A stolen panty phenomenon has been sweeping across our Korean nation. Panties have been stolen from every female-occupied residence in Seoul."
"It was horrible. I woke up and my entire drawer was ransacked and my cutest thongs were gone..."
"Mine had sparkly wings on the front! Where am I going to buy another pair?"
A reporter shows up on the screen. "And while the female population is in an outrage, many forsaken single men have reaped the benefits," he says, holding up a simple pair of white hipster panties. "According to local residents, while the Panty Thieves have pervertedly stolen women's undergarments, they have not kept it for themselves, but are playing a modern day Robin Hood and giving these permanantly borrowed goods to 'unfortunate' bachelors who cannot get girlfriends."
"The panty thieves have been swinging by and giving me a reason to live for years!"
"They gave me a pair with an idol's name on it..."
"Yeah! THE PANTY THIEVES RO--"
Shindong ponders at the television, fondling the remote thoughtfully in his hand.
"So it's not just us," Sungmin says, setting down his crate of newly bought wine. "I got three pairs last week, all not to my taste. If I didn't know any better, I'd say they were trying to provoke me."
Shindong leans back in his chair and hums. "They very well may be." Then he abruptly pulls himself up. "I have a hunch."
"What are we doing in front of hyung's room?" Sungmin asks as he and Shindong tiptoe past a certain leader's bedroom door at 11 at night. "No one ever sees him this time of night. What are you trying to--"
"Shh," Shindong motions furtively for Sungmin to be quiet. "Eunhyuk's in there, too," he whispers, and Sungmin hunches over the door frame with him.
"It's one thing to mix up single guys from the ones with girlfriends when you don't know them, but hyung. Shindong?"
Then Eeteuk speaks up. "I had to! What do we do with all this overstock? Couldn't you have stolen less?"
Shindong frowns when Sungmin kicks open the door and says, "AHAaa--uh..."
He peers in and sees what Sungmin meant by that.
Heaps upon heaps of women's underwear, mountainous and almost divine were piled high in large hills nearly reaching shoulder level. Eeteuk trips and falls into a pile of cotton treasure.
Eunhyuk sputters and dashes around frantically. "Nothing here, nothing at all! How did all these girl things get here!"
Eeteuk sighs. "We..." he starts, "Were... bored?"
Shindong stares, and so does Sungmin.
"We've got to get you guys something better to do with your time."
"We wouldn't have gotten caught if you weren't a billion years old, hyung," Eunhyuk pouts, holding a box of panties to return.
Eeteuk walks beside him, holding a similar box. "Yeah, but if we had a radio show, I'd be adorable."
"If we had a radio show, you'd just sit around and fart during breaks."
And they continued to bicker about what they would be like if they had a radio show until they gave back all the panties they had taken.
-
THE END
OTL
I had a srs version of this prompt. I swear I will finish that. One day. If I ever get an idea on how to do that. For now, have this... whatever this is. ~_~
Band Gen (Eeteuk, Eunhyuk), Crack, PG-13, 1254 words, Archive
A/N: In a world where Sukira doesn't exist! (And in which it is more than slightly implied that Eeteuk and Eunhyuk fail a lot...) ... /cries.
Original Post @ pornaloudinc
For the past three years, between the times of 10pm and 12 midnight, Eeteuk and Eunhyuk have never been seen. The years before that, they were seen either lazing about, or in the practice room, but now...
All for random reasons, and nothing outlandish at all, they would excuse themselves from doing nothing in the dorms. They needed to sleep early. There was a schedule they needed to prepare for. They were busy composing, or writing, and didn't want to be disturbed. A mom was sick, a sister was sick, a dog needed surgery, I'm on vacation, I need to wax and who wants to see that.
No one notices that their leader and their dancing machine have never been sighted between the witching hours of ten to twelve.
Sungmin is the first to find a red lace thong hanging out of Eunhyuk's usually neat vanity drawer.
"Hyukkie..." Sungmin starts, vaguely hesitant. "What--"
"Panties," Eunhyuk interrupts, gaping a little too much. "Those aren't mine, why are they there oh my god Jungsoo-hyung oh crap crap crap crap--"
Next thing Sungmin knows, he's being shoved out the dorm hearing things like mutterings of "He's gonna get it" and "Not mine not mine" and "Don't worry" accompanied by nervously shrill laughter.
"Hyung," Yesung says one day, in that Yesung sort of way. "Why did you use a pair of ladies' underwear as a poor blanket substitute for my turtles?"
Eeteuk turns in his desk chair to face him. "What makes you think I gave your pets ladies' underwear?"
"Your name's on it. See? 'For your personal collection. To: Leader Eeteu--'"
"AHTDATDATDAT, okay. I see," Eeteuk interrupts, extending an hand out to motion for Yesung to return the underwear, and hiding his face with the other.
"Wouldn't boy shorts have been more suitable?" Yesung wonders, as he plops into a kitchen chair. Ryeowook doesn't know what he's talking about but smiles and nods and hands him a bowl of soup.
After, Ryeowook tells Sungmin who relays his own panty anecdote. As it turns out, there were odd items of the delicate nature appearing in their dorm, with no apparent reason as to why they were there.
Siwon found a pair of purple granny panties in his shoes. Kibum found a g-string with the string so thin, it was like an invisible fishing line. Kyuhyun found yellow boy shorts deep in Zhou Mi's back pocket (they don't mention how Kyuhyun's hand found its way into Zhou Mi's back pocket).
Of course, everyone knew the other morning when Heechul found Baengsin wearing three pairs of panties tied together to form some sort of cloth diaper after staying in Eeteuk's room the night before. No one was able to unhear the raucous cackling that followed.
They all have a good laugh over it, attributing it to fan gifts getting more aggressively sexual. They're getting older and so are the fans, after all. There's nothing too shady about the matter, until the news reaches Shindong (who could hear the original conversation from the toilet). He remembers passing by during Yesung and Eeteuk's conversation and also, more importantly, hearing what Yesung couldn't.
"I swear I... tag off... should quit..." Eeteuk had mumbled under his breath.
Then, he remembered that he had seen Eeteuk sneaking around their dorm last week.
Shindong slips when he walks out his bedroom door.
A curse flies out his mouth as his legs fly outward. He rubs at his ass, sore after landing, and questions his will to continue with the day.
Against the dark hardwood flooring, it's hard not to notice the cause of his fall and he unwittingly picks it up. Shindong stares a long moment before realizing, yes, it is a piece of women's lingerie, hot pink leopard print panties with cotton candy pink lace-trim. Complete with a tiny black bow at the front. Part of Victoria's Secret's Sexy Little Things collection, if he has to put a name to it.
"A foreign brand," Shindong says. "Why does it look used?"
"What's all the commoti--Oh." Eunhyuk stumbles out his bedroom, scratching his head until he sees Shindong on the ground, the offending object dangling from hesitant fingers. "Uh..."
"Are these yours?" he asks.
"N-No," Eunhyuk replies. "It's yours... Isn't it?"
Shindong is confused but not surprised when Eunhyuk turns a nice fire engine red. He becomes slightly more suspicious when Eunhyuk looks away and worriedly mutters, "Did he mess up again? Maybe old man is getting old."
"A stolen panty phenomenon has been sweeping across our Korean nation. Panties have been stolen from every female-occupied residence in Seoul."
"It was horrible. I woke up and my entire drawer was ransacked and my cutest thongs were gone..."
"Mine had sparkly wings on the front! Where am I going to buy another pair?"
A reporter shows up on the screen. "And while the female population is in an outrage, many forsaken single men have reaped the benefits," he says, holding up a simple pair of white hipster panties. "According to local residents, while the Panty Thieves have pervertedly stolen women's undergarments, they have not kept it for themselves, but are playing a modern day Robin Hood and giving these permanantly borrowed goods to 'unfortunate' bachelors who cannot get girlfriends."
"The panty thieves have been swinging by and giving me a reason to live for years!"
"They gave me a pair with an idol's name on it..."
"Yeah! THE PANTY THIEVES RO--"
Shindong ponders at the television, fondling the remote thoughtfully in his hand.
"So it's not just us," Sungmin says, setting down his crate of newly bought wine. "I got three pairs last week, all not to my taste. If I didn't know any better, I'd say they were trying to provoke me."
Shindong leans back in his chair and hums. "They very well may be." Then he abruptly pulls himself up. "I have a hunch."
"What are we doing in front of hyung's room?" Sungmin asks as he and Shindong tiptoe past a certain leader's bedroom door at 11 at night. "No one ever sees him this time of night. What are you trying to--"
"Shh," Shindong motions furtively for Sungmin to be quiet. "Eunhyuk's in there, too," he whispers, and Sungmin hunches over the door frame with him.
"It's one thing to mix up single guys from the ones with girlfriends when you don't know them, but hyung. Shindong?"
Then Eeteuk speaks up. "I had to! What do we do with all this overstock? Couldn't you have stolen less?"
Shindong frowns when Sungmin kicks open the door and says, "AHAaa--uh..."
He peers in and sees what Sungmin meant by that.
Heaps upon heaps of women's underwear, mountainous and almost divine were piled high in large hills nearly reaching shoulder level. Eeteuk trips and falls into a pile of cotton treasure.
Eunhyuk sputters and dashes around frantically. "Nothing here, nothing at all! How did all these girl things get here!"
Eeteuk sighs. "We..." he starts, "Were... bored?"
Shindong stares, and so does Sungmin.
"We've got to get you guys something better to do with your time."
"We wouldn't have gotten caught if you weren't a billion years old, hyung," Eunhyuk pouts, holding a box of panties to return.
Eeteuk walks beside him, holding a similar box. "Yeah, but if we had a radio show, I'd be adorable."
"If we had a radio show, you'd just sit around and fart during breaks."
And they continued to bicker about what they would be like if they had a radio show until they gave back all the panties they had taken.
-
THE END
OTL
I had a srs version of this prompt. I swear I will finish that. One day. If I ever get an idea on how to do that. For now, have this... whatever this is. ~_~