Hooked on a Feeling
I attended what is likely to be my very last family Thanksgiving this week; "family" being in reference to my extended family and not my immediate family. We have such a large number of members in said extended family that we hold our Thanksgiving celebration in one of the local churches simply to ensure room for all.
Now, let me make something clear: I'm only into thanksgiving for the delicious food. I want my damn chocolate pie and I want my creepy religonut uncle to stay the fuck away from me. Other than that, I don't particularly give a rat's ass about Thanksgiving. I go because it makes my grandmother (the good one, not the alkie) happy.
Well, last year, my cousins brought their puppy to Thanksgiving and not a single person had an issue with it. So I figured I would bring Rorschach with me. I planned to keep him on leash, so I failed to see why anyone would have any sort of issue regarding this. If they did, I planned to point out their blatant hypocrisy.
So I arrived before 95% of anyone else showed up - only a couple of my aunts, my grandmother and my dad was there. Immediately, about 3-4 people descend upon me, bitching at me: "What is that dog doing here? You're going to take him out right? He can't be in here!"
And I calmly argued my case:
A) They allowed a dog here last year, what's the difference?
B) He is on leash and well behaved.
C) He's NOT going to piss on the rug or chew anything up. He's doing NO harm.
D) I don't complain about peoples' obnoxious screaming kids, so why is my kid who is quiet and just happens to have four legs discriminated against?
Their rebuttal to every single one of these points went something along the lines of "BUT THIS IS A CHURCH!"
What? God hates dogs? Oh right. I forgot. Only humans can be Jesus Minions. Dogs are sacreligious.
So I flat out told my 3 aunts they were all hypocrites and told them that they would never ask someone with an autistic child to leave them home because they're autistic and that they were terrible people for expecting me to exclude my family on a holiday centered around celebrating families being together.
Then I tried to leave and I didn't intend to come back because I just don't need people in my life that can't understand me enough to know that making a concession for me in this case was very important to me.
Buuuuuuuuuut, if my dog's not welcome, than neither am I. So I tried to peace out, which made my grandmother yell at me and I made her cry, which truly makes you feel like the World's Biggest Asshole. So I lost my fucking shit.
Screamed at the top of my lungs the whole drive back to my parents house and kept screaming for the entire return trip. Then I went in, sat in the corner for 4 hours or so and did homework and ignored everyone and then left as soon as I was allowed.
I have no further desire to ever be around any of those people again. Fuck Thanksgiving. This only further confirms my belief that holidays are hollow, meaningless shams designed only to stimulate the economy and make everyone feel terrible for stupid reasons. I'm not fucking playing anymore. I'm outie.
I didn't get any of my homework done that I wanted to. I'm heading home today, probably fairly early so I can hit the library. Being up here has made me realize how much I loathe the place I live. I cannot wait to get the fuck out ASAP.
My mom mentioned something about a possible internship at a zoo this summer. Apparently one of my cousin's has a close friend that works at one somewhere (Mum wasn't entirely sure of the details, she just mentioned it in passing) and that she was willing to let me job shadow (or something similar) if I wanted. Which - that would be an amazing opportunity. I got her email and I'm going to write her a nice long letter once the semseter is out and I'm not juggling 34345 final projects.
My wisdom teeth are moving around again. One of them is literally growing into the side of my mouth because there is no more room for teeth in my gums and it is painful as SHIT. I got a referral to a surgeon. They have to knock me out A) because 1 or 2 of them are entirely impacted and B) because I don't fucking do needles IN MY MOUTH are you fucking CRAZY? But I don't have the time or the money for a co-pay until January. Looks like I'll be eating soft things for a while.