(no subject)
I don't know if it's worse to let a stranger stick a needle in his heart and have him freak out while he dies quickly, or let him die slowly at home where it's warm and familiar. The only reason I didn't have him put down yesterday was because he was still stubborn about living and it seemed cruel to deny him that.
I don't want his last thoughts to be that he's scared.
He's on pain medication right now. And at least he's warm and somewhat comfortable. We made a little incubator with chairs and a blanket and a portable heater. We put him on top of his cage because his feet were too weak to stay on a perch and he gets separation anxiety when he's away from his cage for too long. He wanted to lie on his ladder, so we let him drag himself there. He ate yesterday, so he's not going to starve to death, but today, he seems resigned and sleepy. He still bites at you if you're doing something he doesn't like, but he doesn't react anymore when people come up to his cage. His eyes are always closed. I don't think he's going to last much longer.
When we got him back from the vet yesterday, he was shaking. Too many people transporting him around roughly, too many people trying to pet him on the back. Misty doesn't like being pet on the back. He wasn't hand raised. He doesn't like strangers either. He's lost his mate and the ability to fly. And now he's lost the ability to walk. So he's very paranoid.
He stopped shaking when we took him to the car. I guess he felt better with familiar faces. He even chirped at us on the way home. He hasn't done that for days.
How is he?
He's dying.
It's always tough watching someone die.
Especially when you don't want them to.