(no subject)
OVERWHELMINGLY SOCIAL TRANSIT SYSTEM
Charlie is a short, elderly, retarded man who is ubiquitous on the #155 bus and on north side transit in general. I have no idea why he travels so much, but my theory is that he has some kind of job at the group home at Damen and Devon, since he often disembarks there in the early mornings. He talks to everyone and (Devon being the kind of street it is) a lot of people talk back. Me not so much, as I am not the sort to chat with strangers (although boy howdy do they ever want to chat with me), but I am aware of Charlie and know that his name is Charlie from my near-constant eavesdropping.
When I said up there that Charlie was retarded and talks to everyone, you may have been picturing a open-faced, sunny-natured, gentle guy, since we've all been brainwashed into thinking of retarded people in that way by Special Olympics propaganda and Touching-Life-Lesson afterschool specials. That's not Charlie. Charlie is a tense and angry retarded person who swears a lot. Every sentence of Charlie's is studded with profanity like raisin bread is studded with raisins. (More regrettable figurative language, to you from me! My Simile/Metaphor License totally needs to be revoked.)
(Now because of that raisin-bread thing I am goofily imagining people's utterances as slices of bread emerging from their mouths. Dropping pumpernickel like Truman dropped the bomb! Toast my slice and you'll know I'm a phenomenon!)
Yesterday, while waiting for the bus in the pouring rain and shivering under my flimsy umbrella, Charlie squelched up in soaked clothing and said, "Where's that motherfucking bus!" Because I had pretty much been wondering the same thing, I replied, "I don't know."
"That bus is a motherfucker!" said Charlie.
Starting to warm to the spirit of this exchange, I said, "You're too fucking right! That bus fucking sucks!"
"Cocksucking motherfucking bus," Charlie mused, looking suddenly morose and resigned. Then he pulled out a cell phone and said, "New phone!"
"Who are you going to call?" I asked.
"I don't know. Some asshole," said Charlie, and at this I started cracking up, which totally confused him and seemed to make him angry. In fact, when that cocksucking motherfucking bus did arrive, Charlie declined to get on board and was still standing in the rain muttering obscenities as we pulled away. Sorry Charlie.
all credit to: smartypants.diaryland.com
now that rebecca's not going to georgia, I'll be seeing a little more of her this spring break. :)
that's news for now, except maybe for the fact that I can play the drums on when the levee breaks by what I'm listening to.
sleep.