fic: This Part of Us Will Never Change
Title: This Part of Us Will Never Change
Author: wolfish_willow
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: G
Word Count: 2,057
Disclaimer: I do not own these people. I make no profit from this. It's all for fun.
Summary: Based on a "Love Gives Me Hope" image, Jensen's decided to tell Jared that he's gay. Their park seems the best place to do it.
Author's Note: Unbeta'd. My friend read over the first draft, but hasn't even seen this new one yet. lol. I apologize for any glaring mistakes. @_@
-
A pal of mine sent me this:
And then she sent me this.
And this is what happened :D
-
This Part of Us Will Never Change
"Leave him alone!"
Jensen doesn't know why he thinks it's a good idea to yell at them. They're all bigger than him. But if they're big to him, they're practically giants to the kid they've been pushing around and it makes him mad.
"What did he ever do to you?"
He swallows, a little nervous when it looks like they're going to leave the kid alone and come after him instead. But cat-slant eyes look at him, wide and watery and hopeful and Jensen feels ten times bigger. When one of the bigger kids comes to shove his shoulder, Jensen really hopes his mama isn't looking before he pulls back his leg and kicks the bully in the shins.
Before any of his buddies even move, Jensen is grabbing the little kid's arm and running away with him. He feels like he can fly when he hears laughter next to him. He looks over and laughs, too, when he sees the wide, dimpled grin on the kid's face.
It feels like they've been running forever. There are no bigger kids following them and he has to stop to catch his breath. He slows down, not letting go of the boy's arm until they're standing under the shade of one of the wood-and-plastic forts.
"Thanks."
Jensen smiles down at him a little goofily, laughs again at the gap in his bottom teeth.
"Welcome."
"I'm Jared." His voice is a little softer and he looks down like he's shy. Jensen doesn't ever want Jared to be shy around him.
"I'm Jensen," he says, holding his hand out like he's seen his daddy do when he makes a new friend. Jared looks at it curiously before he takes it, laughing when Jensen shakes their hands up and down. "And you're gonna be my new best friend."
And when that Sunday Jensen sees Jared in the same Sunday school class he goes to, he knows he was right.
~*~
The park hasn't changed much since they were kids. It has little in the way of foot traffic while school is in session. There were a few moms out, walking their kids around in strollers. Some pushing them in swings, higher and higher. He passed a couple walking their dog when he first got here. But it's still nowhere near as busy as it used to get when he was little. But then, things always seems busier, louder, larger than life when he was a kid.
Maybe he should have chosen somewhere else to have this discussion with Jared.
They had outgrown the playground here long before high school - especially after Jared hit his first in a series of growth spurts - but Jensen still thought of it as their park. They had traded riding the swings for walking the paths. It's still a frequent stop for them now when Jensen joins Jared in walking his dogs.
The longer he stands here waiting, though, the less it matters that this is their park. It would have been fine, inviting Jared over to his apartment or going over there. Better, maybe, with the dogs acting as buffers in the less-open space - they both know Sadie likes him better.
But despite the almost queasy tension in his gut, Jensen feels telling Jared at their park makes the most sense. It's where they convinced their parents to let them pay after church every Sunday since their first Sunday school class together. Where they played pirates in the fortress ship with the plastic yellow helm.
~*~
"Who says you get to be cap'n again? You're always the cap'n, Jen!"
Jared pouts, his bottom lip sticking out but Jensen doesn't cave. He's... imm-une. That's what his mama says when she ignores his pouting, anyway.
"I say. I'm the biggest. You know that the biggest gets to be the captain."
Jared's nose scrunches up. It looks a lot cuter than when Jensen's baby sister does it. Probably because when Jared does it he's thinking. Jensen doesn't think Mackenzie thinks about anything except for her next bottle or getting picked up.
"One day I'm gonna be bigger than you. Way bigger!"
Jensen laughs, can't help it really. Jared's tiny, he's always been smaller than Jensen and he can't imagine a time when that could possibly change. But what's really funny is how serious Jared looks, eyes focused on him like a cat.
"We'll see," he says finally, ruffling Jared's floppy hair until it sticks up. "'Til then, I'm still the boss." Then he runs, climbing up to the helm of the pirate ship-fort before Jared realizes that his hair looks like a bird's nest.
~*~
The waiting is still close to driving him crazy, though.
Sitting on an empty bench finally gives him something else to focus on, something to do even if it's grumble to himself about the sudden cold permeating his jeans.
"Boo."
He whips his head around, nearly jumping out of his skin. A familiar booming laugh comes from behind him before he's pounced on by a pair of excited dogs. Jensen huffs and rolls his eyes at Jared.
"Shut up," he mutters with what is most definitely not a pout.
Jared only laughs harder when Sadie, fed up with being ignored by her favorite person, reaches up and licks his cheek. Some of his nerves fade under the attentions of Sadie and Harley. Petting them finally gives him something else to focus on and he appreciates it immensely.
"I missed you, too," Jensen coos, rubbing the sides of her neck.
"Fine, just ignore your best friend. I see how it is."
"She doesn't go around trying to scare people to death, do ya girl? No, you don't. Not a pretty thing like you."
Her tail wags with extra force at his baby-talk. He laughs when he catches sight of Jared's pout at being ignored. His puppy dog eyes could give actual puppies a run for their money - Jensen has no idea how he was able to ignore them when they were kids.
With a last pat, Jensen pushes Sadie off of him, smiling up at Jared.
"You have my undivided attention now, you overgrown puppy. I promise."
"Shouldn't I be the one saying that you to? You wanted to talk, right?"
And just like that, the nerves are back in full force.
"Yeah," he manages to get out, bolstered by how even it sounds. "Yeah, there's something I wanted to tell you."
Jared nods, but doesn't press him to start talking. Instead, he knocks their arms together, leading them to one of the fenced off baseball fields, unhooking the dogs from their leashes. Harley takes off immediately, sniffing each base while Sadie follows more sedately, investigating the grass and dirt around the edges.
Jensen watches her, can't help but smile at the way she sneaks up on Harley even through the butterflies trying to fly out of his stomach.
"So, what's up?"
He turns to Jared, warmed by the concern plain in his impossible-to-define eyes - a hazel that changes colors with his environment. Now they're a mix of green and blue with a golden edge just around the pupil that Jensen could get lost in if he let himself.
Jensen shoves his hands into his pockets to keep from tugging at the hem of his shirt like some nervous little kid - even if that's a little how he feels. This man is his best friend, the most important person in his world since he was little. He's finding it a lot harder to just rip-off-the-band-aid than he expected. If Jared doesn't take the news well, if he thinks Jensen is somehow wrong or judges him, Jensen doesn't know what he'll do.
Taking a deep breath, he reminds himself that this is Jared. The best person he knows. There is always a chance that his best friend will judge him - he knows plenty of people at church who would - but he has to believe that Jared will be himself.
"I'mgay."
The words mash together in his haste to say them and Jared crinkles his eyebrows, concern giving way to confusion before the lines smooth out in understanding. But he never cringes, never shows any signs of an uncomfortable-Jared - hunching in or away or breaking eye contact - and Jensen feels most of his tension ease off.
Jared puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes, smiling just enough that his dimples show. "It's getting a little chilly out here. How about we grab the dogs and stop off for some coffee before we get them home?"
Jensen signs in quiet relief. He really should have listened to the small voice in the back of his head - that sounds suspiciously like his mama - that Jared wouldn't care.
"Sounds good to me."
~*~
"I don't know how you can drink that stuff, Jen."
Jared wrinkles his nose and Jensen still thinks it's cuter when he does it than anyone else. He doesn't say anything, though, just takes another gulp of his coffee. He smacks his lips together exaggeratedly, laughing at the disgust on Jared's face.
"One day you're gonna like this just as much as I do."
Jared doesn't look like he believes him, but Jensen doesn't mind. No matter how tall Jared's gotten, his mom thinks he's too young to drink coffee. Jensen's been drinking it for a year now, has finally figured out what he likes best and what he can't stand, but it'll probably be another year before Jared's allowed to give it a fair shot.
"Somehow I doubt it."
Jensen shrugs, unconcerned. "I promise you, once your mama gives me permission I will find a coffee drink you like."
His friend stares at the cup in Jensen's hands warily, like it might jump out at him or something, but his face looks a bit more open now and Jensen knows he's won.
"I'll hold you to that."
Jensen grins.
~*~
Coffee is exactly what Jensen needs and the beginning of the walk back to Jared's apartment is spent in comfortable silence while he sips at his drink. It's black, but not too strong. Jared's drinking a hot chocolate beside him - the only coffee drinks he likes are the iced and blended ones and definitely not appropriate in this weather.
He feels himself smiling, happy with how comfortable this feels. Nothing's changed between them and it feels like a weight has been lifted from him.
Then a hand slips into his free one just outside of Jared's apartment building and he realizes that maybe things have changed between them.
"So, can we consider this our first date?"
Jensen beams but Jared continues before he gets the chance to say anything, leading them up the stairs.
"Though technically, Jensen, this could be our bazillionth."
Jensen squeezes Jared's hand gently as they come to a stop in front of Jared's door.
"Not the first or the bazillionth. How about considering this our third date?"
Jared doesn't lose his grin, but gains a confused crinkle just above his eyebrows. He would smooth it away, but Jensen doesn't want to let go of Jared's hand for anything yet.
"Why our third?"
"'Cause by now we'd be up to kissing. Maybe even making out... If I'm really lucky, there might even be some heavy petting."
He grins at Jared's full bodied laugh, only putting enough space between them that Jared can get the door open to let the dogs in.
With the dogs no longer underfoot and Jared's chuckles easing off, Jensen leans into Jared's space. Jared matches his movement, face moving closer when he pauses suddenly."
"Wait, you think I'm that easy?"
There is a moment of quiet, the both of them so close Jensen can feel Jared's breath - like chocolate - against his face. It's broken when they speak, his, "Only for me," overlapping Jared's, "Only for you."
Then they're kissing, clumsily walking through the door and Jensen feels those butterflies in his stomach again.
So maybe his confession changed something between them. But as Jared leads them to the couch, barely stopping long enough to put their empty cups down, Jensen decides he's okay with that.
~*~
A month later, and still going strong, Jensen knows he made the right choice.
Author: wolfish_willow
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: G
Word Count: 2,057
Disclaimer: I do not own these people. I make no profit from this. It's all for fun.
Summary: Based on a "Love Gives Me Hope" image, Jensen's decided to tell Jared that he's gay. Their park seems the best place to do it.
Author's Note: Unbeta'd. My friend read over the first draft, but hasn't even seen this new one yet. lol. I apologize for any glaring mistakes. @_@
-
A pal of mine sent me this:
And then she sent me this.
And this is what happened :D
-
This Part of Us Will Never Change
"Leave him alone!"
Jensen doesn't know why he thinks it's a good idea to yell at them. They're all bigger than him. But if they're big to him, they're practically giants to the kid they've been pushing around and it makes him mad.
"What did he ever do to you?"
He swallows, a little nervous when it looks like they're going to leave the kid alone and come after him instead. But cat-slant eyes look at him, wide and watery and hopeful and Jensen feels ten times bigger. When one of the bigger kids comes to shove his shoulder, Jensen really hopes his mama isn't looking before he pulls back his leg and kicks the bully in the shins.
Before any of his buddies even move, Jensen is grabbing the little kid's arm and running away with him. He feels like he can fly when he hears laughter next to him. He looks over and laughs, too, when he sees the wide, dimpled grin on the kid's face.
It feels like they've been running forever. There are no bigger kids following them and he has to stop to catch his breath. He slows down, not letting go of the boy's arm until they're standing under the shade of one of the wood-and-plastic forts.
"Thanks."
Jensen smiles down at him a little goofily, laughs again at the gap in his bottom teeth.
"Welcome."
"I'm Jared." His voice is a little softer and he looks down like he's shy. Jensen doesn't ever want Jared to be shy around him.
"I'm Jensen," he says, holding his hand out like he's seen his daddy do when he makes a new friend. Jared looks at it curiously before he takes it, laughing when Jensen shakes their hands up and down. "And you're gonna be my new best friend."
And when that Sunday Jensen sees Jared in the same Sunday school class he goes to, he knows he was right.
~*~
The park hasn't changed much since they were kids. It has little in the way of foot traffic while school is in session. There were a few moms out, walking their kids around in strollers. Some pushing them in swings, higher and higher. He passed a couple walking their dog when he first got here. But it's still nowhere near as busy as it used to get when he was little. But then, things always seems busier, louder, larger than life when he was a kid.
Maybe he should have chosen somewhere else to have this discussion with Jared.
They had outgrown the playground here long before high school - especially after Jared hit his first in a series of growth spurts - but Jensen still thought of it as their park. They had traded riding the swings for walking the paths. It's still a frequent stop for them now when Jensen joins Jared in walking his dogs.
The longer he stands here waiting, though, the less it matters that this is their park. It would have been fine, inviting Jared over to his apartment or going over there. Better, maybe, with the dogs acting as buffers in the less-open space - they both know Sadie likes him better.
But despite the almost queasy tension in his gut, Jensen feels telling Jared at their park makes the most sense. It's where they convinced their parents to let them pay after church every Sunday since their first Sunday school class together. Where they played pirates in the fortress ship with the plastic yellow helm.
~*~
"Who says you get to be cap'n again? You're always the cap'n, Jen!"
Jared pouts, his bottom lip sticking out but Jensen doesn't cave. He's... imm-une. That's what his mama says when she ignores his pouting, anyway.
"I say. I'm the biggest. You know that the biggest gets to be the captain."
Jared's nose scrunches up. It looks a lot cuter than when Jensen's baby sister does it. Probably because when Jared does it he's thinking. Jensen doesn't think Mackenzie thinks about anything except for her next bottle or getting picked up.
"One day I'm gonna be bigger than you. Way bigger!"
Jensen laughs, can't help it really. Jared's tiny, he's always been smaller than Jensen and he can't imagine a time when that could possibly change. But what's really funny is how serious Jared looks, eyes focused on him like a cat.
"We'll see," he says finally, ruffling Jared's floppy hair until it sticks up. "'Til then, I'm still the boss." Then he runs, climbing up to the helm of the pirate ship-fort before Jared realizes that his hair looks like a bird's nest.
~*~
The waiting is still close to driving him crazy, though.
Sitting on an empty bench finally gives him something else to focus on, something to do even if it's grumble to himself about the sudden cold permeating his jeans.
"Boo."
He whips his head around, nearly jumping out of his skin. A familiar booming laugh comes from behind him before he's pounced on by a pair of excited dogs. Jensen huffs and rolls his eyes at Jared.
"Shut up," he mutters with what is most definitely not a pout.
Jared only laughs harder when Sadie, fed up with being ignored by her favorite person, reaches up and licks his cheek. Some of his nerves fade under the attentions of Sadie and Harley. Petting them finally gives him something else to focus on and he appreciates it immensely.
"I missed you, too," Jensen coos, rubbing the sides of her neck.
"Fine, just ignore your best friend. I see how it is."
"She doesn't go around trying to scare people to death, do ya girl? No, you don't. Not a pretty thing like you."
Her tail wags with extra force at his baby-talk. He laughs when he catches sight of Jared's pout at being ignored. His puppy dog eyes could give actual puppies a run for their money - Jensen has no idea how he was able to ignore them when they were kids.
With a last pat, Jensen pushes Sadie off of him, smiling up at Jared.
"You have my undivided attention now, you overgrown puppy. I promise."
"Shouldn't I be the one saying that you to? You wanted to talk, right?"
And just like that, the nerves are back in full force.
"Yeah," he manages to get out, bolstered by how even it sounds. "Yeah, there's something I wanted to tell you."
Jared nods, but doesn't press him to start talking. Instead, he knocks their arms together, leading them to one of the fenced off baseball fields, unhooking the dogs from their leashes. Harley takes off immediately, sniffing each base while Sadie follows more sedately, investigating the grass and dirt around the edges.
Jensen watches her, can't help but smile at the way she sneaks up on Harley even through the butterflies trying to fly out of his stomach.
"So, what's up?"
He turns to Jared, warmed by the concern plain in his impossible-to-define eyes - a hazel that changes colors with his environment. Now they're a mix of green and blue with a golden edge just around the pupil that Jensen could get lost in if he let himself.
Jensen shoves his hands into his pockets to keep from tugging at the hem of his shirt like some nervous little kid - even if that's a little how he feels. This man is his best friend, the most important person in his world since he was little. He's finding it a lot harder to just rip-off-the-band-aid than he expected. If Jared doesn't take the news well, if he thinks Jensen is somehow wrong or judges him, Jensen doesn't know what he'll do.
Taking a deep breath, he reminds himself that this is Jared. The best person he knows. There is always a chance that his best friend will judge him - he knows plenty of people at church who would - but he has to believe that Jared will be himself.
"I'mgay."
The words mash together in his haste to say them and Jared crinkles his eyebrows, concern giving way to confusion before the lines smooth out in understanding. But he never cringes, never shows any signs of an uncomfortable-Jared - hunching in or away or breaking eye contact - and Jensen feels most of his tension ease off.
Jared puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes, smiling just enough that his dimples show. "It's getting a little chilly out here. How about we grab the dogs and stop off for some coffee before we get them home?"
Jensen signs in quiet relief. He really should have listened to the small voice in the back of his head - that sounds suspiciously like his mama - that Jared wouldn't care.
"Sounds good to me."
~*~
"I don't know how you can drink that stuff, Jen."
Jared wrinkles his nose and Jensen still thinks it's cuter when he does it than anyone else. He doesn't say anything, though, just takes another gulp of his coffee. He smacks his lips together exaggeratedly, laughing at the disgust on Jared's face.
"One day you're gonna like this just as much as I do."
Jared doesn't look like he believes him, but Jensen doesn't mind. No matter how tall Jared's gotten, his mom thinks he's too young to drink coffee. Jensen's been drinking it for a year now, has finally figured out what he likes best and what he can't stand, but it'll probably be another year before Jared's allowed to give it a fair shot.
"Somehow I doubt it."
Jensen shrugs, unconcerned. "I promise you, once your mama gives me permission I will find a coffee drink you like."
His friend stares at the cup in Jensen's hands warily, like it might jump out at him or something, but his face looks a bit more open now and Jensen knows he's won.
"I'll hold you to that."
Jensen grins.
~*~
Coffee is exactly what Jensen needs and the beginning of the walk back to Jared's apartment is spent in comfortable silence while he sips at his drink. It's black, but not too strong. Jared's drinking a hot chocolate beside him - the only coffee drinks he likes are the iced and blended ones and definitely not appropriate in this weather.
He feels himself smiling, happy with how comfortable this feels. Nothing's changed between them and it feels like a weight has been lifted from him.
Then a hand slips into his free one just outside of Jared's apartment building and he realizes that maybe things have changed between them.
"So, can we consider this our first date?"
Jensen beams but Jared continues before he gets the chance to say anything, leading them up the stairs.
"Though technically, Jensen, this could be our bazillionth."
Jensen squeezes Jared's hand gently as they come to a stop in front of Jared's door.
"Not the first or the bazillionth. How about considering this our third date?"
Jared doesn't lose his grin, but gains a confused crinkle just above his eyebrows. He would smooth it away, but Jensen doesn't want to let go of Jared's hand for anything yet.
"Why our third?"
"'Cause by now we'd be up to kissing. Maybe even making out... If I'm really lucky, there might even be some heavy petting."
He grins at Jared's full bodied laugh, only putting enough space between them that Jared can get the door open to let the dogs in.
With the dogs no longer underfoot and Jared's chuckles easing off, Jensen leans into Jared's space. Jared matches his movement, face moving closer when he pauses suddenly."
"Wait, you think I'm that easy?"
There is a moment of quiet, the both of them so close Jensen can feel Jared's breath - like chocolate - against his face. It's broken when they speak, his, "Only for me," overlapping Jared's, "Only for you."
Then they're kissing, clumsily walking through the door and Jensen feels those butterflies in his stomach again.
So maybe his confession changed something between them. But as Jared leads them to the couch, barely stopping long enough to put their empty cups down, Jensen decides he's okay with that.
~*~
A month later, and still going strong, Jensen knows he made the right choice.