Leaving - Chapter 3
Title: Leaving
Rating: R
Pairing: Nichkhun & Wooyoung <3333
Summary: Nichkhun and Wooyoung have a hard time being together when barriers exist, like years of distance.
Chapter 3:
Wooyoung’s apartment, 2 days later.
11:57PM
Wooyoung was trying to get back to normal. He tried not to mope around. He cleaned his house, jogged for hours, anything to get his mind off of the other night.
To no avail, he lay down in his living room in the still of the night. Bored, he stared at the ceiling, wondering how things could’ve been different; this was something he had done consecutively in the recent hours.
He didn’t like admitting to himself, but every now and then he had thought back to Khun’s shirtless body. His abs, his arms, Wooyoung wished for them to be around him again. The heat he remembers was unbearable and it somehow was still attached to him, as if it was a second layer of skin. His head swarmed with the things he had wanted to do to Nichkhun.
But then he remembered.
“…I wasn’t.” He wasn’t?! He hadn’t been. He pretended. He lied.
But he missed him. And he regretted leaving him in the hotel.
He wanted to sleep to dream of the things we couldn’t do then, things he’d never be able to do. He drifted off.
12:36AM
The storm outside had made Wooyoung toss and turn on the couch. He was in a semi-conscious state. Suddenly, after a loud bang of thunder, a bang on the door startled Wooyoung. He shot up and looked towards his door. Thinking that someone got caught in the rain, Wooyoung rubbed his eyes and walked to the door.
“WHO IS IT?!” Wooyoung tried to yell over the raging pulse of the storm.
“Wooyoung-ah, please open the door!” Broken Korean. It was Nichkhun. He stepped back from the door. “Wooyoung, please!”
Wooyoung took another step back.
“Woo…” Khun’s voice cracked. Wooyoung thought of how Khun was in the cold rain, probably crying. He thought of how Khun deserved it. Then he thought of Khun sick, Khun distressed. He placed his hand on the door knob, hesitated, and then opened the door.
Khun stood in the door way, breathing as if he’d been running.
“Why…what the hell is wrong with you?” Wooyoung asked.
Khun was shivering from the rain, his hair dripping with droplets. “I ran here. No car.”
“There’s a bus, you know.”
“No money.”
“Then what the fuck DO you have?”
“Nothing.”
“Well…what are you here for? I don’t have anything for you.”
“Can I come in?”
“…..No. Leave.” Wooyoung looked at Khun’s face, eyes swollen. “Have…have you been crying?”
Wooyoung rolled his eyes and pulled Nichkhun in by his collar. “Sit on the floor in the living room. You’re soaked.”
Khun obliged quietly. Wooyoung felt a tinge of guilt for talking to Khun in this manner. It’s something he’d never done in his life. He got the blanket from his bed and walked back to the living room. Khun wasn’t sitting where he had been. Wooyoung’s heart stopped.
Did he just leave?
“Nichkhun? Khun? ….Khun….?” Wooyoung looked around in the dark of his house. He walked closer to the couch and saw Khun lying on the floor, shivering.
“NICHKHUN! Get up! ARE YOU OKAY?” Wooyoung lifted Khun from the ground by his arms…oh lord, his arms.
He felt Nichkhun’s face; no fever. “Khun…Khun…please, man.” Khun’s eyes were opening slowly.
“Does it scare you when you can’t be with me?” Khun asked weakly.
Wooyoung paused. He opened his mouth to say something but was too nervous.
“Does it?” Khun asked again.
“It terrifies me.”
“Then what makes you think that I’d be okay with it if you left me without saying anything?”
“…I…”
“That’s it. You DIDN’T think. At all. You just left me, twice.”
Wooyoung got angry. It’s not like they were together. It’s not like Wooyoung owed him anything. It’s not like Khun tried to be with him, tried to find him. It’s not like Khun ever showed that he cared about Wooyoung like that. All he got was smiles and all he got was friendship. Wooyoung was selfish, he wanted more.
He stood up and raised his voice, “I don’t understand why you care anyway. It’s been seven years and you didn’t try to find me.”
“That’s because I didn’t have to!” Khun stood up and got close to Wooyoung’s face. Not intimacy, but anger fueled his words. “You’re parents told me you were leaving. They told me before YOU did! Why the fuck would you just leave?! What happened to being my only friend?”
“OH, excuse me Nichkhun. The world revolves around you and I was supposed to report everything to you. I was supposed to be your right-hand man for life; watching you get a girlfriend, get married, have kids. Fantastic. Sounds like the fucking life.”
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Who said I wanted you to do that shit? I just wanted you to be my friend! And not ditch me.”
“Being your friend is too hard for me!”
“You’re a coward.” Nichkhun shoved Wooyoung. “You run from all your problems.”
“AND YOU?! You pretend to be drunk instead of facing them. What does that make you?” Wooyoung shoved Khun back.
Khun thought for a second. “I HAD TO DO THAT, OKAY?! I thought…”
“What, tell me…what it is that was the spectacular reason as to doing that, OH and let’s not forget last night too.”
“Fuck you.” Nichkhun threw a punch at Wooyoung and missed when Wooyoung dodged, hitting the wall behind him. Or maybe he didn’t miss, but wanted to scare Wooyoung. Wooyoung trembled in anger. “Well, let’s hear it Khun.”
Khun got centimeters away from Wooyoung’s face and with his other arm, pressed his forearm against Wooyoung’s chest, pinning him to the wall. “I did it because I wanted you to feel bad for leaving me. I didn’t think it would be seven years till we met again.”
Wooyoung stood silent.
Khun was still fuming, but he was so tired that his strength began to waver and he almost let his body fall to the ground. Wooyoung caught him in his arms. His hands held Khun’s elbows, his lips close to Khun’s ear. “I didn’t want to go. I promise.”
“You didn’t say goodbye. Why didn’t you say goodbye?” Khun’s voice began to crack again. “I needed you. You were my only friend, Woo.”
“I couldn’t say it. I don’t know…” Wooyoung smelled Khun’s skin. That beautiful scent. His mind wavered and he lost control of his words. “I loved you.”
“Everyone said that to me.”
“But I loved you the most. I’ve always loved you the most.” Wooyoung realized he was confessing and his chest tightened. Khun used his upper body to wrap his arms around Wooyoung’s neck. He whispered into his hair, “Is this what you would have said to me?”
“No. I would’ve probably kissed you, had I the courage.”
“Do you have it now?”
“Well, I had it last night.”
Nickhun kissed Wooyoung’s eyebrow. He kissed his cheek. Finally, he made it to his lips. “I wanted to tell you something the day you left. You’re my favorite, you know that right?”
“Favorite what?” Wooyoung’s heart raced. He slowly took off Khun’s wet clothes. Article by article, they moved slowly to Wooyoung’s couch.
“Favorite person. Favorite everything. I never once thought of you as my friend.” Khun and Wooyoung sat on the couch. Wooyoung faced the opposite direction. Nichkhun took pulled off Wooyoung’s shirt and touched the skin on this back. He ran his fingers around Wooyoung’s back and met at the front of his chest. He slid his fingers down to Wooyoung’s boxers. Wooyoung raised his hips so that he could take them off.
Wooyoung’s backside was completely facing Khun. Wooyoung was nervous. He couldn’t move anymore. “I’m sorry for being like this. To me, you’re still someone I can’t have.”
“Why would you think that way when you’re the one that keeps running away?” With that, Nichkhun hugged Wooyoung and lowered his hands to Wooyoung’s hips. “Besides, I’m more nervous than you.” Khun brought Wooyoung closer to him so that Wooyoung could feel Nichkhun’s erection. Wooyoung took Khun’s hand, a sign to tell him he was ready.
Nichkhun positioned himself and thrust inside Wooyoung, making him keel over and have to hold the side of the couch. For a moment, Wooyoung was in immense pain, but at the same time, it felt so unbelievably good to be that close to Khun. Nichkhun continued to thrust, bringing Wooyoung up so that he could run his fingers through Wooyoung’s hair. Wooyoung was sweating and Khun licked every ounce of sweat off his neck. Khun traced his fingers down Wooyoung’s arms, to his hands, which he interlocked.
“I’m going to …” Wooyoung couldn’t finish his sentence; he moaned and bit his lip again.
“Don’t leave me again.”
“I won’t.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise, I promise.” Wooyoung panted. Finally, he came and Khun began to slow down to a stop. They both breathed heavily.
They lay on the couch, legs intertwined and Wooyoung asleep, his lips still pressed to Khun’s neck. Khun kissed Wooyoung’s head and stared at the ceiling. They had relived his dreams, if only he had known earlier that those were Wooyoung’s dreams as well.