Found in Translation - Chapter 3
Dalliance - noun 1. Amorous toying; flirtation; a brief love affair; 2. What Wooyoung thought this was, despite the way Nichkhun touched him.
Nichkhun and Wooyoung had stopped sometime before Nichkhun could get Wooyoung’s sweatpants off and after Wooyoung had the will to push him off. Last night was a blur and Wooyoung’s mind played its fragments over and over again as he drank his milk in the kitchen.
He remembered that Nichkhun said something to him but he didn’t remember if it was what he wanted to hear or whether it was something completely irrelevant. He could still feel Nichkhun’s fingers running down his arms, his lips grazing Wooyoung’s neck, his body pinning him to the floor. Every other second a rational part of Wooyoung’s brain gave him the desire to want to push Nichkhun off and demand explanations, but it would be cut off by Nichkhun’s scent and it enveloped the rest of the clarity in his mind till it fogged up and then Wooyoung couldn’t think at all.
And then Nichkhun walked into the kitchen, scratching his head. He looked up at Wooyoung and didn’t say anything. Though he probably should have because Wooyoung was having a panic attack (internally of course, it wasn’t obvious to Nichkhun at all). Wooyoung put his milk on the counter because he was sure he was going to drop it. The wood under Nichkhun’s feet creaked and Wooyoung could have died at how ridiculously slow Nichkhun was walking toward him, though he did keep in mind that he had functioning feet as well.
Nichkhun finally reached Wooyoung and stood in front of him and smiled. Wooyoung attempted to move out of his way and Nichkhun’s arm blocked him. Nichkhun placed both hands on the counter behind Wooyoung, trapping Wooyoung in front of him. “Where are you going?”
“Since when did you like me?” Wooyoung asked and then realized, regretted it. Nichkhun licked his lips and then bit his bottom lip while thinking. Wooyoung’s mind was thinking things it shouldn’t. But he looked at Nichkhun again and tried to be serious, TRIED.
“Since…since the moment you helped me read my first Korean book. Or maybe it was when you agreed to tutor me, maybe even when you got mad at me for the first time.”
“Why would my getting mad at you make you like me?” Wooyoung’s chest tightened. So…Nichkhun had said he liked him last night. Wooyoung didn’t imagine that. He couldn’t have possibly imagined those kisses though, his lips were swollen and his neck has a sore…which Wooyoung prodded at this morning in the bathroom and realized was a hickey.
“Because…it was cute,” Wooyoung wanted to smile but remained serious, “and because no one ever wants to get mad at me.”
“It’s because they think you’re something special. I don’t get it. You’re not that amazing.” Nichkhun frowned. He furrowed his brows and stood up straight, ready to take his hands off the counter. Wooyoung quickly grabbed onto his arms and pulled him back. Touching his skin felt different now. Wooyoung’s fingers burned and his head reeled. It felt…better.
“I’m just joking.” Wooyoung puffed his cheeks and looked down. He saw Nichkhun’s toes and how they were so close to his. He lifted his feet and placed them over his. Nichkhun’s breath touched his face and he could hear every inhale and exhale. He brought his small hands to the front of Nichkhun’s shirt (which was really Wooyoung’s shirt), and balled it in his fists. The fabric wrapped around his fingers and he pulled Nichkhun closer to him.
If Wooyoung had to chose a moment where he used all of his bravery it would be this moment. He hoped Nichkhun wouldn’t laugh and he hoped Nichkhun wouldn’t question himself because if any kind of doubt were to arise, maybe Wooyoung would second guess himself and take a step backward. Never had anyone made Wooyoung feel so helpless and at the very same instant, simultaneously, make him feel important. If Wooyoung thought he was happy before, then what was this now? Ecstasy?
Their noses touched and Wooyoung closed his eyes. He brought his lips to Nichkhun’s philtrum and grazed it along his lips. Nichkhun leaned into him wrapped his hands around Wooyoung’s waist, holding him tighter. Wooyoung opened his mouth to speak and before he said a word Nichkhun pressed his fingers into his skin and pushed him against the counter as if to say “please don’t say something that I don’t want to hear.”
“I like you.” Wooyoung kissed his lips. He sighed, inhaled, breath hitched. He kissed him again, this time with more force; Nichkhun’s lips were a source of confidence. “I really like you.”
Nichkhun opened his eyes, and there it was again…the eye smile. Wooyoung smiled back because now it was his.
After about a week, people began to take notice of Nichkhun’s and Wooyoung’s…”whatever it is,” as Wooyoung would like to say (even though it bothered Nichkhun). It was the beginning of class and Nichkhun scooted his chair as close as he could to Wooyoung’s. The girls, oh…Wooyoung’s “biggest fans”, sarcastically speaking, glared at them; their eyes like hell fire burning into Wooyoung’s skin so badly that he turned his head as far as he could away from them just so that he didn’t see them at all.
Provocative - adjective 1. Tending or serving to provoke; inciting, stimulating, irritating, or vexing; 2. The things that Nichkhun liked to do in the classroom, the most convenient of places.
Nichkhun reached for Wooyoung’s hand under the desk and wrapped his fingers around his. For Wooyoung, this was enough for now but Nichkhun had other plans in mind. Wooyoung’s face warmed as Nichkhun leaned over to whisper something in his ear. Instead of saying anything, Nichkhun kissed the skin behind Wooyoung’s ear. Wooyoung straightened up in his seat, cleared his throat, and tried to ignore the fact that he had a tingling sensation rolling down his spine. Nichkhun smiled at the reaction, his lips spreading against Wooyoung’s skin.
“Stop,” Wooyoung whispered while looking straight forward, hoping his teacher didn’t notice what was going on in the back of the class.
“I’m giving you attention.” He frowned. “Because…I’m leaving soon.”
“WHAT,” He whispered louder than he intended. The student in front of him turned around and scowled at him. “What?” This time he turned to face Nichkhun.
“I’m going to see some family in the United States so I won’t be here for a week. No lessons, I guess.” Nichkhun looked at Wooyoung and wondered what was going on inside his head. Wooyoung bit his lower lip but as for his face…it didn’t change at all. He was disappointed. He wanted Wooyoung to throw a fit like he usually did when he was upset but lately Wooyoung’s emotions were a bit reserved, he was more confident.
“Alright.”
“Alright? That’s it?”
“What did you want me to say? ‘No Khun, you can’t go.’ I don’t own you.” Wooyoung was upset, he was furious, he was drowning in agony, but he wouldn’t show that to Nichkhun. Simply because he didn’t want him to worry and he wanted to show him that separation anxiety wouldn’t get the best of him. They were together 24/7 anyway, Wooyoung was sure he could handle it.
A week and a half later Nichkhun boarded the plane after hugging Wooyoung for a moment longer than he needed to. Wooyoung as usual, didn’t really show a myriad of emotions. At most he hugged Nichkhun a little tighter this time. Nichkhun sat in his seat next to a girl who was listening to the music on her headphones louder than the engine of the plane. He flipped open his phone and expected a text like “Have a safe trip,” “I’ll miss you,” or even just “Bye.” Instead he saw nothing but his generic wallpaper. He went through his photos and found the one blurry picture he took of Wooyoung while he was sleeping one day at the café. He set it as his wallpaper and turned off the phone. Sighing, he sat back in the chair and brooded, realizing something he should have realized earlier.
Ironic - noun 1. An outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.; 2. The fact that although Nichkhun had planned to use his interest in Wooyoung as a distraction in his stagnant life, he most probably liked Wooyoung more than Wooyoung liked him.
That night in Seoul, 3AM to be exact, Wooyoung sat in his bedroom flipping through channels on the television because he couldn’t sleep. No text from Nichkhun had arrived that he had landed okay or that he was with his family. He wanted to call him so badly that he had been holding his phone in his hand for 2 hours now. He only resisted the urge because he didn’t want to be annoying. But his head was beginning to hurt and now it was getting late. Without letting himself think further, he opened the phone and dialed Nichkhun’s number.
It didn’t even ring once. “Hello? Wooyoung?” It hadn’t been very long since he heard his voice and it’s happened before where they wouldn’t see each other for one or two days. But the fact that if Wooyoung wanted to or needed to see Nichkhun and now he couldn’t, was what truly made him miss Nichkhun right now.
“Bo go ship da.” Wooyoung said a phrase in Korean that he knew Nichkhun didn’t know.
“What?” Nichkhun, somewhere in California, had run to his room during the middle of lunch to talk to Wooyoung. His heart was beating so fast, he felt that he was going to have a panic attack soon. When he saw Wooyoung’s name on his phone though, he nearly choked on his food and slammed the table with joy.
“Bo go ship da, it means that I miss you.” Wooyoung held the phone tighter so he could hear Nichkhun’s breathing.
“It’s 3AM over there! Why are you awake?” Nichkhun hadn’t processed Wooyoung’s words apparently.
Silence on the other end.
“I miss you more. I’m definitely sure that I miss you more.” Wooyoung turned off the TV and placed his head on the pillow, still holding the phone to his ear.
“If you wanted me to tell you to stay here, you know I couldn’t do it. But now I feel like begging you to come home already.” Wooyoung admitted his feelings and felt embarrassed by them but felt that if he didn’t the words would wrap around his vocal cords and strangle him till he couldn’t breathe.
“When I come home, I’m going straight to your house, okay?” Nichkhun was beaming; he was overjoyed, so happy that he had to sit down.
“When I said home, I meant my house anyway.”
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Now that their mutual feelings were sorted out, Nichkhun and Wooyoung had gotten a tad more adventurous. It was an hour till closing of the café and as always, they were studying. Tonight though, Wooyoung felt more confident than usual. Maybe it was because he had successfully taught Nichkhun a completely new lesson tonight and he didn’t have difficulties with any of the Korean. As Nichkhun finished off his homework, Wooyoung walked towards the bookshelves in front of them.
Only a couple of minutes later, Nichkhun followed and found Wooyoung in a corner, one that could hardly be seen by anyone who would come up the stairs. Wooyoung turned around and saw him and for a moment, swore that he was crazy for thinking what he was thinking. But the thoughts paced so quickly through his mind that he couldn’t stop them and with his all his strength he tried to run after them but they were far gone. “Fuck it.” Wooyoung pulled Nichkhun closer and pushed him against the shelf. Half pleased, half startled, Nichkhun did not resist. The books rattled at Wooyoung laughed, he was a little nervous that people would hear them but he wasn’t nervous about his actions. He leaned in to kiss Nichkhun and as soon as Nichkhun closed his eyes, Wooyoung moved away.
“Tease,” Nichkhun breathed. Wooyoung ignored the fact that Nichkhun was impatient and pinned his arms to the shelf. He moved in towards Nichkhun’s neck and placed his lips on it lightly. Letting go of Nichkhun’s arms he brought his hands to his hips instead and held them in place. Nichkhun kept his hands where they were and closed his eyes. He fought his desire to touch Wooyoung because he knew Wooyoung would stop. Wooyoung continued to place butterfly kissed up Nichkhun’s neck until he reached his lips and he whispered against his “Remember not to be so noisy or they’ll catch us.” Wooyoung slid his hands to Nichkhun’s waistband and fumbled with the hook of his pants.
“Having trouble? Need help?” Nichkhun asked sincerely and in return he got a glare from Wooyoung that would burn for days. Of course, Nichkhun would also learn that Wooyoung didn’t need any help. “Oh…god.” Khun shut his eyes and gripped tighter onto the shelf as Wooyoung grabbed his member and then lightly ran his fingers up and down, only to torture Nichkhun for a moment before he couldn’t take it anymore.
Nichkhun grabbed Wooyoung’s face and kissed him fiercely, 1) because he wanted to and 2) because he needed to or else people would hear him moan.
Anxious - noun 1. Earnestly desirous; eager; 2. The feelings that rushed through Nichkhun’s body. He wanted to get so close to Wooyoung, but it seems that his skin was in the way.
Nichkhun was so rough he busted Wooyoung’s lip and as a small cut opened on Wooyoung’s lower lip, Nichkhun licked it just so that Wooyoung wouldn’t notice it was bleeding. Besides, even if he did notice, it’s not like he would care.
Still holding on to him, suggestively of course, Wooyoung backed into the book shelf behind him and laughed into Nichkhun’s kisses. He felt like what they were doing was dangerous and because he was never dangerous, he loved it. He could feel himself getting hot and decided that they should stop at some point or else things would get messy.
Nichkhun eventually reached his limit and groaned into Wooyoung’s mouth, exasperated and exhausted he breathed heavily, still holding Wooyoung’s face in his hands. Wooyoung removed his hands from Nichkhun’s pants, wiped his lips, and when he saw a small trace of blood he laughed and punched Nichkhun in the arm.
“Clean that up, we can’t leave here with you looking like that.” Wooyoung walked back over to the table to pick up their things while Nichkhun stood bookcase area, catching his breath and closing his pants. Still surprised at Wooyoung’s initiative, he tried to not to think to into it because hell, at least it happened.
“You don’t want me to do anything for you.” Nichkhun walked over to him and placed his hand on the table.
“I got it. I can carry this stuff by myself.” Wooyoung picked up their books and began walking down the stairs.
“That’s not what I meant.” Wooyoung smiled to himself. Nichkhun felt embarrassed that he has to explain himself.
“I know. That should be your answer for now though. Not tonight and not here.” He only said no because the café was closing and he wanted to more time to do what he wanted. That and in all honesty, he wasn’t completely ready.
“You’re getting demanding.” Nichkhun smirked at Wooyoung’s change of pace.
“Shut up.” They reached the main entrance of the café and stepped out into the now wintery weather.
As they walked back to Wooyoung’s apartment, Nichkhun noticed that despite his confidence, Wooyoung still wouldn’t admit to everything. He was shaking because that sweater of his didn’t suffice. His fingers were frozen as they wrapped around the books. Nichkhun took them out of his hands, shoved them in his bag, and took Wooyoung’s hand in his. He placed their interlocked hands in his pocket and continued to walk.
Wooyoung’s fingers warmed up and as they did, the heat surged into his skin, swam through his veins and reached his heart. Nichkhun smiled as snow fell on his lips.