sorcerer who's stoned chap 7
Yay! Last one for tonight. I don't know when I'll have another chapter to post for this story. I had all of the ones up until this point prewritten. Hopefully I'll get around to writing another one soon...
previous
*I didn't write the sorting hat's song in this chapter. Credit for that is given to my friend, Natalie.
Chapter 7
Hagrid leads the students into the castle and leaves them with Professor McGonagall. She escorts them to the door of the Great Hall, tells them that they will be sorted, explains what the school houses are, compliments all of them, then abandons them.
Harry: Wow, it’s going to be so great living here 9 1/2 months of the year, instead of with my sucky relatives.
Ron: I don’t know. I think it would be kind of interesting living with a whale-cousin. You could study him and take notes, then write a book about whale-cousins and become famous one day.
Harry: ... But I’m already famous.
Ron: Oh, yeah. Hey, do you mind if I come home with you this summer so I can study your whale-cousin and write a book that will make me famous one day?
Ron looks expectantly toward Harry.
Harry: I don’t know, my sucky relatives probably wouldn’t appreciate that very much. They don’t even like feeding me.
Ron is slightly saddened, but recovers quickly.
Ron: That’s okay. I guess it’s better to stay home than take a chance on starving to death. I love food.
Ron’s eyes glaze over and he daydreams about food for a few minutes until Professor McGonagall comes back and takes the students into the Great Hall.
The students follow Professor McGonagall up to the front of the Hall. They stare at an old hat sitting on a stool in front of them.
Nothing happens.
Professor McGonagall walks up to the hat and starts whispering to it. They argue quietly for a few moments.
Hat: NO!
McGonagall: Headmaster, he’s threatened to leave again.
Dumbledore: Oh dear.
Dumbledore gets up from his chair and walks over to the hat. He takes McGonagall’s spot and begins talking to the hat. After a few minutes, the hat agrees to something and Dumbledore disappears in a giant cloud of thick purple smoke. He reappears by his seat. Before he sits down, he makes an announcement.
Dumbledore: It seems our friend, the Sorting Hat, has dreams of becoming a lounge singer. We will hear a very special performance from him tonight.
The hat starts singing.
(Talking, *singing*)
Hat: This goes out to all you first years.
*At Hogwarts there are four houses, don’t you know.
Each one equally as great.* You know you’re all great.
*First there’s the Slytherins.
They’re kinda creepy, and nobody really likes them.* Just kidding, you’re all wonderful.
*Gryffindor students are brave and strong.
They’re so great, they always prove the other houses wrong.* You know you do.
*Ravenclaw is Slytherin’s bitch.
Someone makes a joke and they always twitch.* I’m joking, all you Ravenclaws. We know you’re all great.
*And now we’re left with Hufflepuff.
Their common room is scary enough.
If you go in there, you’ll never be the same again.
Each and every house is unique, some of them contain merely freaks.
Hogwarts houses are the best in the world!*
Thank you all, you’ve been great.
The hat gets done and the Gryffindors applaud heartily. The others seem to be doing so only on reflex. Dumbledore calls for an encore. The hat begins to sing again. Dumbledore then tells the hat to shut up because he was only joking about the encore and the new students need to be sorted. The hat remains silent for the rest of the night, other than to call out house names for new students.
Harry’s name is called and he sits down in the stool. The hate is placed on his head.
Hat: So, what house do you want to be in?
Harry: Huh?
Hat: I said, what house do you want to be in?
Harry: Aren’t you supposed to tell me what house I’m supposed to be in?
Hat: Well, technically, yes. But, I figured that since you’re famous you should get special privileges.
Harry: Sweet! But I don’t know which house I want to be in.
Hat: There’s only four, how difficult of a decision could it be?
Harry: Pretty difficult. Would you help me, please?
Hat: Fine. Pick a number between 17 and 34.
Harry: Twenty-five.
Hat: GRYFFINDOR!
The students cheer as Harry runs to his seat. The last of the first years are sorted, then Dumbledore makes a speech. After he is done talking, he disappears in a giant cloud of thick purple smoke. He then walks back into the Great Hall and joins the feast.
Everyone at the Gryffindor table freaks out when the ghosts appear and start talking to them. Ron faints and is only revived when Hermione sticks a spork in his left forearm. Ron gets up from the floor and immediately goes back to his food.
FIVE MINUTES LATER
Ron sees the spork.
Ron: Aahhh! Why is there a spork in my arm?
Hermione: It was the only way to wake you up.
Ron: Wake me up?
Hermione: Yeah, you fainted.
Ron: I did?
Hermione: Yes, don’t you remember getting up off the floor?
Ron: No.... How do you know that was the only way to wake me up?
Hermione: We tried a bunch of other things; telling you to wake up, slapping your face, pouring water on you...
Ron: Well, that would explain why my pants are wet.
Hermione: Um, no, actually. Turned out the water was charmed to not get you wet.
Ron: Then why am I soaked?
Hermione: Your brothers stuck your hand in a glass of warm water while you were unconscious. They said they wanted to give you a proper welcome.
Ron: Oh.... Eew!
Ron gets up from the table and starts running toward the exit. After a few steps he turns around, runs back to his plate to grab a chicken leg for the trip, then continues running out of the Great Hall.
Harry: That was entertaining.
Hermione: Quite.
Harry: Almost as entertaining as the kid who dresses like a country music singer.
Hermione: There’s a kid who dresses like a country music singer? I love country! Where is he?
Harry: He’s the one with so many sequins on his vest that he looks like a disco ball.
Hermione looks around the Great Hall until she sees the human disco ball.
Hermione: Oh, he’s in Slytherin.
Harry: So?
Hermione: ...
Harry: Oh, right, the rivalry thing. Got it.
The two of them continue looking around the Hall and pointing out all of the interesting-looking people. Harry looks up to the staff table and suddenly gets light-headed. He looks away from the spot he had stopped at and shakes his head, wondering where the sensation had come from. He looks back up to the staff table and scans it from end to end. When he gets to Professor Quirrel and the teacher he is talking to, the strange feeling comes back. It feels oddly pleasant, so he continues staring in the same direction that he has concluded the feeling must be coming from.
THREE MINUTES LATER
Harry: Ow!
Harry pulls a spork out of his left forearm.
Harry: What was that for?
Hermione: Well, you were having a conversation with a piece of dust floating through the air, and stabbing Ron with a spork brought him back to consciousness, so I figured it would work on you. Why were you talking to a piece of dust, anyway?
Harry: I have no idea. Didn’t even realize I was doing it.
Hermione: Oh.
The feast ends.
Dumbledore: ‘Night, all.
McGonagall: Wait! You didn’t warn them about the Forest, of the third floor.
Dumbledore: Oh, right. Hey, don’t go in the forest or to the third floor, because you’ll die if you do.
Dumbledore disappears in a giant cloud of thick purple smoke.
McGonagall: Alright, everyone is free to go to their common rooms now.
All the students stand up and follow other members of their houses to their common rooms. Harry and Hermione follow Percy, Ron’s older brother, out of the Hall. They run into Ron, who is standing right outside the doors.
Harry: I thought you were going to change or something.
Ron: I was, but then I remembered that I didn’t know where I was going.
They follow the other Gryffindors upstairs to the entrance to the common room. Percy shoves a fourth year girl out of his way.
Percy: I’M the prefect, I’LL open the portrait.
Portrait: Password?
Percy: Pink pandas.
Everyone laughs at Percy as he leads them into the common room. Harry is amazed be the sheer awesomeness of the room, but opts to sleep rather than examine it thoroughly at the moment. He and Ron go up the stairs to their bedroom. Ron finally changes his close, and they fall asleep in the middle of their conversation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, this one's not anywhere near as long as the last, I know. Does that make it horible? I hope not. Please leave a comment! I'll love you forever. Oh, and another thing about this story, none of it has been properly betaed, so please tell me if you find a mistake. :D
next
previous
*I didn't write the sorting hat's song in this chapter. Credit for that is given to my friend, Natalie.
Chapter 7
Hagrid leads the students into the castle and leaves them with Professor McGonagall. She escorts them to the door of the Great Hall, tells them that they will be sorted, explains what the school houses are, compliments all of them, then abandons them.
Harry: Wow, it’s going to be so great living here 9 1/2 months of the year, instead of with my sucky relatives.
Ron: I don’t know. I think it would be kind of interesting living with a whale-cousin. You could study him and take notes, then write a book about whale-cousins and become famous one day.
Harry: ... But I’m already famous.
Ron: Oh, yeah. Hey, do you mind if I come home with you this summer so I can study your whale-cousin and write a book that will make me famous one day?
Ron looks expectantly toward Harry.
Harry: I don’t know, my sucky relatives probably wouldn’t appreciate that very much. They don’t even like feeding me.
Ron is slightly saddened, but recovers quickly.
Ron: That’s okay. I guess it’s better to stay home than take a chance on starving to death. I love food.
Ron’s eyes glaze over and he daydreams about food for a few minutes until Professor McGonagall comes back and takes the students into the Great Hall.
The students follow Professor McGonagall up to the front of the Hall. They stare at an old hat sitting on a stool in front of them.
Nothing happens.
Professor McGonagall walks up to the hat and starts whispering to it. They argue quietly for a few moments.
Hat: NO!
McGonagall: Headmaster, he’s threatened to leave again.
Dumbledore: Oh dear.
Dumbledore gets up from his chair and walks over to the hat. He takes McGonagall’s spot and begins talking to the hat. After a few minutes, the hat agrees to something and Dumbledore disappears in a giant cloud of thick purple smoke. He reappears by his seat. Before he sits down, he makes an announcement.
Dumbledore: It seems our friend, the Sorting Hat, has dreams of becoming a lounge singer. We will hear a very special performance from him tonight.
The hat starts singing.
(Talking, *singing*)
Hat: This goes out to all you first years.
*At Hogwarts there are four houses, don’t you know.
Each one equally as great.* You know you’re all great.
*First there’s the Slytherins.
They’re kinda creepy, and nobody really likes them.* Just kidding, you’re all wonderful.
*Gryffindor students are brave and strong.
They’re so great, they always prove the other houses wrong.* You know you do.
*Ravenclaw is Slytherin’s bitch.
Someone makes a joke and they always twitch.* I’m joking, all you Ravenclaws. We know you’re all great.
*And now we’re left with Hufflepuff.
Their common room is scary enough.
If you go in there, you’ll never be the same again.
Each and every house is unique, some of them contain merely freaks.
Hogwarts houses are the best in the world!*
Thank you all, you’ve been great.
The hat gets done and the Gryffindors applaud heartily. The others seem to be doing so only on reflex. Dumbledore calls for an encore. The hat begins to sing again. Dumbledore then tells the hat to shut up because he was only joking about the encore and the new students need to be sorted. The hat remains silent for the rest of the night, other than to call out house names for new students.
Harry’s name is called and he sits down in the stool. The hate is placed on his head.
Hat: So, what house do you want to be in?
Harry: Huh?
Hat: I said, what house do you want to be in?
Harry: Aren’t you supposed to tell me what house I’m supposed to be in?
Hat: Well, technically, yes. But, I figured that since you’re famous you should get special privileges.
Harry: Sweet! But I don’t know which house I want to be in.
Hat: There’s only four, how difficult of a decision could it be?
Harry: Pretty difficult. Would you help me, please?
Hat: Fine. Pick a number between 17 and 34.
Harry: Twenty-five.
Hat: GRYFFINDOR!
The students cheer as Harry runs to his seat. The last of the first years are sorted, then Dumbledore makes a speech. After he is done talking, he disappears in a giant cloud of thick purple smoke. He then walks back into the Great Hall and joins the feast.
Everyone at the Gryffindor table freaks out when the ghosts appear and start talking to them. Ron faints and is only revived when Hermione sticks a spork in his left forearm. Ron gets up from the floor and immediately goes back to his food.
FIVE MINUTES LATER
Ron sees the spork.
Ron: Aahhh! Why is there a spork in my arm?
Hermione: It was the only way to wake you up.
Ron: Wake me up?
Hermione: Yeah, you fainted.
Ron: I did?
Hermione: Yes, don’t you remember getting up off the floor?
Ron: No.... How do you know that was the only way to wake me up?
Hermione: We tried a bunch of other things; telling you to wake up, slapping your face, pouring water on you...
Ron: Well, that would explain why my pants are wet.
Hermione: Um, no, actually. Turned out the water was charmed to not get you wet.
Ron: Then why am I soaked?
Hermione: Your brothers stuck your hand in a glass of warm water while you were unconscious. They said they wanted to give you a proper welcome.
Ron: Oh.... Eew!
Ron gets up from the table and starts running toward the exit. After a few steps he turns around, runs back to his plate to grab a chicken leg for the trip, then continues running out of the Great Hall.
Harry: That was entertaining.
Hermione: Quite.
Harry: Almost as entertaining as the kid who dresses like a country music singer.
Hermione: There’s a kid who dresses like a country music singer? I love country! Where is he?
Harry: He’s the one with so many sequins on his vest that he looks like a disco ball.
Hermione looks around the Great Hall until she sees the human disco ball.
Hermione: Oh, he’s in Slytherin.
Harry: So?
Hermione: ...
Harry: Oh, right, the rivalry thing. Got it.
The two of them continue looking around the Hall and pointing out all of the interesting-looking people. Harry looks up to the staff table and suddenly gets light-headed. He looks away from the spot he had stopped at and shakes his head, wondering where the sensation had come from. He looks back up to the staff table and scans it from end to end. When he gets to Professor Quirrel and the teacher he is talking to, the strange feeling comes back. It feels oddly pleasant, so he continues staring in the same direction that he has concluded the feeling must be coming from.
THREE MINUTES LATER
Harry: Ow!
Harry pulls a spork out of his left forearm.
Harry: What was that for?
Hermione: Well, you were having a conversation with a piece of dust floating through the air, and stabbing Ron with a spork brought him back to consciousness, so I figured it would work on you. Why were you talking to a piece of dust, anyway?
Harry: I have no idea. Didn’t even realize I was doing it.
Hermione: Oh.
The feast ends.
Dumbledore: ‘Night, all.
McGonagall: Wait! You didn’t warn them about the Forest, of the third floor.
Dumbledore: Oh, right. Hey, don’t go in the forest or to the third floor, because you’ll die if you do.
Dumbledore disappears in a giant cloud of thick purple smoke.
McGonagall: Alright, everyone is free to go to their common rooms now.
All the students stand up and follow other members of their houses to their common rooms. Harry and Hermione follow Percy, Ron’s older brother, out of the Hall. They run into Ron, who is standing right outside the doors.
Harry: I thought you were going to change or something.
Ron: I was, but then I remembered that I didn’t know where I was going.
They follow the other Gryffindors upstairs to the entrance to the common room. Percy shoves a fourth year girl out of his way.
Percy: I’M the prefect, I’LL open the portrait.
Portrait: Password?
Percy: Pink pandas.
Everyone laughs at Percy as he leads them into the common room. Harry is amazed be the sheer awesomeness of the room, but opts to sleep rather than examine it thoroughly at the moment. He and Ron go up the stairs to their bedroom. Ron finally changes his close, and they fall asleep in the middle of their conversation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, this one's not anywhere near as long as the last, I know. Does that make it horible? I hope not. Please leave a comment! I'll love you forever. Oh, and another thing about this story, none of it has been properly betaed, so please tell me if you find a mistake. :D
next