SoH, Chapter 7
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Over the next week, Harry, Ron and Hermione fell into a routine. Once they had gotten used to the new school, it seemed like time just flew by. They progressed nicely in their lessons (thanks to Hermione’s rigid study schedule), met and became friends with lots of new people, learned more about life in America, and watched as Kevin and Nicole broke up and got back together three more times. Naturally, in all of this activity, the Battle of the Bands was completely forgotten.
On the first Friday of October, the three Hogwarts students were sitting in the common room, having just returned from their last class of the day. They were talking with Brian, Jimmie, and Star.
“So, do you guys think you’ll have a chance to come into Chicago with us this weekend?” Brian asked. “You haven’t yet.”
“I don’t know,” Hermione answered. “I know we finally don’t have a lot of homework and studying to do this weekend, but it seems like there was some other important thing going on.”
“Hmm... I don’t know what that would be,” Brian said after thinking for a few seconds.
At that moment Kevin walked into the common room carrying a Burger King bag and cup. He walked over to where Ron, Harry, Hermione, Brian, Star, and Jimmie were and sat down with them. He opened the bag, took out his food, and started eating without saying anything to anyone.
After watching him eat half of his sandwich, Harry asked, “Um, where and when did you get that?”
Kevin looked up at Harry and answered him. "I skipped fourth period today and went to Burger King," he said, pointing to the bag “There’s one really close to here. The first Friday of every month I skip the last class of the day to get food. It's like my drug."
“What did you get this time?” Jimmie asked.
“A Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch,” Kevin answered. “Very delicious.”
“I bet,” Brian said. He then started humming the ‘Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch’ song. After a moment Jimmie started singing the words to the song.
Hermione suddenly went rigid.
“I know what we forgot!” she announced.
“What?”
“The battle of the bands contest is on Saturday!”
The effect of these words was instantaneous; Brian and Jimmie stopped exhibiting their musical talents, Kevin choked on a fry, Harry and Ron stared in shock, not believing that Hermione could forget something so important for so long, and Star giggled.
The silence that had befallen the group, save for Star, seemed to drag on forever. Finally, Brian broke it be saying, “Oops, we did it again.”
In any other situation that statement would have been hilarious. In this instance, however, no one found it even remotely entertaining. Except for Star, who fell off the couch because she was laughing so hard by that point.
“Who was supposed to be in charge of this thing?” Brian demanded. “And why are you laughing? This isn’t funny! Now we only have tonight to come up with something spectacular!”
“Sorry!” Star managed through her now suffocating laughter. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I’ll leave and figure it out.” She then stumbled through the door and left just as Grace and Shana were walking in.
“What’s her problem?” Shana asked when they reached the group.
“I don’t know, but I’m glad she’s gone,” Brian snapped.
“Ooh, someone’s grumpy,” Shana said as she sat down.
“Well, you would be, too, if you had forgotten about the Battle of the Bands that’s supposed to be happening on Saturday.”
“Oh, whoops.”
“Yeah, right, whoops. Now, I’m going to ask again; who was supposed to be in charge of this?”
“Well, I think we all assumed you were, since you were the one who was so adamant about not forgetting this year.”
Brian stopped his tirade and looked thoughtful for a second. “Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Well, anyway,” he started, changing the subject back to the actual battle, “we have to find a song, like, now. Any suggestions?”
Everyone was silent.
“How about the sandwich song you were just singing?” Ron suggested after a few minutes, snickering. Hermione glared at him.
“What?” Ron asked.
“That’s not funny, Ron. We’re supposed to be taking this seriously. That’s obviously not something-”
“Actually, I think that’s a pretty good idea,” Brian said. “And since no one else has any ideas, that’s the best we’ve got.” He then stood on one of the tables, much like he had a month ago, and attempted to get everyone’s attention.
“Hey, listen up!” When everyone finally realised that he was trying to talk to them, the conversations in the room gradually stopped.
“Thank you for opting to pay attention to me,” Brian started, slightly annoyed that it had taken so long. “As most of you have probably forgotten, the Battle of the Bands is tomorrow-”
“What?”
“You’re kidding!”
“What do you mean, tomorrow?”
“Well, I obviously mean tomorrow. As in Saturday. And if you want to hear the rest of what I have to say, you may want to shut up!”
The room suddenly got quite again.
“Thank you, again. Now, we’ve already got a song picked out, which means we’re further ahead at this point than we were last year. Who know the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch song?”
About 15 people raised their hands.
“How many of you know all the words to it?”
Only two people kept their hand up.
“Who has the ability to sing it without making people bleed from the ears?”
Only Jimmy was left with his hand in the air.
“Great, looks like Jimmy will be the lead singer! Now we’ve got two things taken care of-”
“Wait, what?” asked Jimmy, clearly hoping he had heard wrong.
“You’re the lead singer for tomorrow,” Brian said. “Do try to keep up from now on.”
Jimmy sighed and slumped back into the couch, muttering something that no one quite heard, but most could figure out was not pleasant.
“Now, who here can play an instrument? Holy crap, over half of you? Are you serious?” Brian asked, shocked. “I didn’t know you were smart enough... Ok, since we don’t need that many people, I’ll just randomly pick some of you. Let’s go with... Grace, Anna, Delana, Cody, Zack, Karen, Nicole, Chandler, Shana, Anthony, and Nina. Ok, those of you that I just named; come over here. The rest of you can go and make banners and posters and other forms of encouragement.”
Brian stepped down from the table and waited for the new band members to arrive in his corner of the room. While he was waiting, he also noticed that some of the people that he did not call the names of were still sitting in that area.
“What are you all still doing here? You’re supposed to be helping everyone else with the posters. GO!”
Hermione, Harry, Ron, Ryan, and Kevin all looked slightly offended, but stood to leave anyway.
Brian, changing his mind suddenly, said, “No, wait, you three can stay,” and pointed to the Hogwarts students. They looked at each other, confused.
“Why?” Harry asked. “We can’t play any instruments.”
“Well, you’re supposed to be learning about American culture, and whatnot, so I figured this would help. And Hermione’s smart, so she could probably learn to play something simple by tomorrow night.”
Hermione blushed slightly at the unintended compliment.
“What about Ron and me, though? We can’t do that. No offense, Ron,” he said, directing the last statement at his best friend. Ron made it apparent with a shake of his head that he didn’t mind.
Brian thought to himself for a minute, then said, “You can be back up singers!”
Harry and Ron looked at each other again, doubtful of Brian’s choice.
“We don’t know the words,” Ron said.
“You don’t need to,” Brian said, dismissing Ron’s concern, “you’re back up singers. All you have to do is stand behind Jimmy and say ‘ooo, ooo, ooo.’ It’s not that difficult.”
“Ok,” Ron sighed, still not believing that he and Harry were right for the part.
“Alright, now that you’ve all finally gotten here,” Brian said, turning and addressing the band members, “let’s get started. Grace, what can you play?”
“Umm, drums?” she answered.
Brian looked worried at her uncertainly, but moved to the next person.
“Anna, what about you?”
“I can play the recorder.”
“Ok, I guess we can work that in somehow. Cody?”
“Flute.”
“Zack?”
“Tuba.”
“Nicole?”
“Bass guitar.”
“Chandler?”
“Keyboard.”
“Ok, now we’re getting somewhere. Seems like we might actually be able to put something resembling a song together. Anthony?”
“Viola.”
Brian stared at him like he had grown another head. “You had to play something stupid, didn’t you?”
“What do you mean, ‘stupid?’ There’s nothing wrong with the viola!”
“But it’s going to sound stupid with the other instruments. Oh well, we’ll worry about it later. Shana.”
“Electric guitar.”
“Karen?”
“Harmonica.”
“Delana?”
“Acoustic guitar.”
“Ok, Nina? And if you play some kind of guitar, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Three is enough.”
“You don’t have to worry, I don’t play a guitar of any kind. I play the bass drum.”
“Like, in a marching band?”
“Is there something wrong with that?” Nina asked, looking like she would hurt anyone that suggested there was. Brian noticed this and quickly continued.
“Nope, perfectly fine. Did I leave anyone out?”
Hermione raised her hand.
“Oh, right, sorry about that. Um, you can play the triangle.”
“The triangle?” Hermione asked.
“Yeah, the triangle. It’s easy; all you have to do is bang on a triangle-shaped piece of metal with a metal stick.”
“Oh, ok.”
“Ok, we’ve got a song, band, instruments, and singers. Now we’ve just got to figure out how the hell we’re going to put all those together to make music.”
The first 30 minutes of their session on figuring out how to make music was actually spent arguing about how the music was supposed to be played (tempo, key, etc.). After listening to everyone bicker for so long without making any progress, Hermione finally got annoyed and told Harry and Ron to follow her to the library.
“Why are we going to the library?” Ron demanded on the way there. “How is the library possibly going to help us this time?”
Hermione glared at Ron, upset that he doubted the library’s ability to help them. “While I was in there on our first day here I found a book called 100,000 Things You Think You’ll Never Need To Know, But Probably Will At Some Point In Your Life, and I could have sworn I saw sheet music for this exact song in there.”
“Well, why didn’t you go and get it half an hour ago?” Ron asked, his voice raising slightly in anger. “You could have saved us a lot of trouble.”
“I just remembered, ok?” Hermione shouted. “Besides-” she started, but stopped abruptly when she lost her balance and fell forward. Harry had moved to help her, but Ron had already caught her and was helping her to stand up straight again.
“Woah, Hermione, are you alright?” he asked, concerned.
“Yeah, I think so,” she answered. She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to clear it.
“What happened?” Harry asked her.
“I don’t know, I just got dizzy all of a sudden,” she said.
“Do you need to see the nurse?” Ron asked, still sounding worried.
“No, I’m fine.” After a few more seconds she opened her eyes again and looked like she was back to normal.
“Thanks, Ron,” she said.
Ron, who had been watching her closely to make sure that was really ok, was startled. “Huh?” he said stupidly.
“I said thanks,” she repeated. “For helping me, I mean,” she added quietly, vaguely gesturing to the way Ron was still holding on to her.
Ron looked down at his own hands and, as if just realising where they were, quickly pulled them back and put them in his pockets. He looked down at the floor as he started turning pink. “Oh, right, it was nothing, not a problem,” he rambled.
The three of them stood there for a few seconds longer, Ron and Hermione in an awkward silence, purposely not meeting each other’s eyes, and Harry attempting not to laugh. After witnessing that scene, a few things in Harry’s head clicked and he realised that something was bound to happen between his two best friends soon, whether they realised it or not.
To break the silence, Ron cleared his throat and said, “So, um, the library...”
“Right, the library,” Hermione said, glad to move to safer, more comfortable territory. She then began leading the way down the hall again.
When the trio finally reached the library, Harry and Ron went to find seats while Hermione went to the desk and started talking to the librarian. Harry noticed that it seemed like the two were already acting like old friends. After a few more moments of friendly chatting, Hermione received the book she wanted and sat down with Harry and Ron.
“It’s so good to actually be able to have a conversation with the librarian. Madam Pince was nothing like Meredith. She’s so much nicer, though maybe a tad bit airheaded.”
“Wait, you’re on a first name basis with the librarian?” Ron asked in disbelief.
“Of course,” Hermione answered, like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Ron decided it was best to just let the matter go and focus on the task at hand.
“Whatever. So, where is this music you saw?”
“Oh, right.” Hermione opened the large book to the table of contents and found the section called Music You’ll Probably Need to Know For Some Reason. Towards the bottom of the list, indeed, was the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch song. “See, I told you it was in here.”
“Well, then, check out the book and let’s take it back to the others before they start tearing each other apart.”
“Why are you in such a hurry?” Harry asked Ron.
“If you hadn’t noticed, nearly everyone else in the school is eating right now. I figured if we get this little mission accomplished, Brian might take it a little bit easier on us and actually let us go to dinner.”
Harry thought through this logic for a moment. “Actually, that does make sense,” he said. “And you’re right, everyone else is eating dinner. Now that you mention it, I’m hungry too. Come on, Hermione, let’s go.”
“Do you two only ever think of food?” she asked as she stood up and started walking to the check out desk.
“Only when I’m supposed to be eating it, but am being otherwise detained,” said Ron.
Hermione checked out the book and soon after they were on their way back to the common room. When they walked in, Brian attacked them.
“Where were you? And why didn’t you tell anyone you were leaving? We’re in the middle of a crisis here, and you three just up and walk out whenever you feel like it-”
“Brian, shut up!” Ron yelled. Brian was so taken aback at Ron’s outburst that he stopped talking and just stared at him.
“Hermione found a solution to your problem,” Ron said. He took the book from her and handed it, opened to the right page, to Brian.
Brian looked at it. When he realised what it was, he felt slightly ashamed for yelling at them.
“Oh. Sorry about that, guys. Um, thanks for finding this Hermione.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Hermione said.
Brian took the book back to the rest of the group and shared it with them. In another ten minutes they had figured out how to make copies for everyone and Brian reluctantly let them all leave for dinner.
“But I want you all back here as soon as you get done eating, got it?”
“Yeah, whatever,” Grace mumbled.
“I mean it!” Brian said. “You’ve got an hour to get back up here. If we lose this year, I’m personally holding each and every one of you responsible.”
Even though no one seemed to have taken Brian’s words seriously, dinner was a bit more stressful that night. All of them seemed to be lost in thought and ate more quietly than normal.
Just before an hour had passed, everyone had made their way back to the common room. By that time, most that had their instruments with them at school had gotten them from their rooms. The rest were trying to make do with whatever they were able to transfigure from random furniture from the room, so they could practice with the others. Hermione was able to create a triangle from a lamp on only her second attempt, and then went around the room helping the others. A few minutes later, everyone had their instruments ready to go. Most of them were less than perfect, but they would do for the next few hours.
“Now, does everyone have a copy of the sheet music?” Brian asked as he stood on his table at the front of the room. Everyone shook their head and Brian continued.
“That’s great. Now, when I count to three I want everyone to start playing the piece.” The room looked ready, so Brian counted, “One, two, three!”
The next moment there was a horrific noise as everyone in the room began to play at once, all at their own tempo.
“Enough!” Brian yelled, barely able to be heard over the explosion of sound. Everyone stopped quickly except for Grace, who kept on drumming, obviously the reason for half of the noise level. After a few seconds she noticed that the rest of the room had stopped playing, and, slightly embarrassed, also stopped.
“Ok, that didn’t go as well as I’d hoped,” Brian said. “This time I think it would be better to try it in sections.” All agreed, and Brian went to work dividing the room into sections he could manage.
After 45 minutes of practice, all the sections seemed to have the basis of the song down. For once, Brian was feeling slightly more confident that they would actually be able to pull it off.
Harry, who had been watching from the other side of the room, was also feeling better about the whole ordeal. If things went well, Hermione would be happy and not try to blame Harry and Ron for the entire group failing. But if they didn’t… well, he just hoped everything went well.
Brian got back on top of his table, then, and addressed the group. “Ok, the first time through I want everyone but the drums to play.” With that he flicked his wand, which he was using in place of a baton, and everyone began to play.
It wasn’t the best thing Harry had ever heard, but this time he could at least tell what song they were attempting to play. Somewhere around the middle of the song he looked over to where Grace and Nina were sitting. Both of the girls seemed to be following along with the music as the others played, but not doing anything else.
Just then, Ron nudged him in the side. “Hey, do you realize that neither Grace or Nina have played since that first attempt?”
“Yeah, I did notice that. I wonder how good they’ll be?”
“I dunno,” Ron said. “Hopefully decent, or Brian is probably going to go into a mad rage.”
It wasn’t long before their question was answered. Right after the song had been played through twice, Brian shouted, “Ok, now let’s add the drums!”
Grace looked ecstatic to hear that and jumped onto her drum seat. Brain raised his hands and began to conduct. Just as the band hit their first note, the loud crash of drums and symbols drowned out most everyone else. Most stopped playing and looked at Grace, who was all over her drum set, and obviously didn’t have a clue what she was doing.
“Stop. Stop! STOP!” Brian shouted. After his third “stop,” Grace looked up and noticed that she was, yet again, the only one still playing.
“Sorry,” She muttered in an apologetic tone. “Was I off the beat?”
When everyone realised that she was serious, they all started to laugh, and Brain turned red and stared at her in disbelief.
“Off the beat? You weren’t even close to the beat! I though you said you could play the drums?”
“I can play the drums!” She then began to beat on them like she had before. After a few seconds she looked up and said, “See?”
“Ok, that was a bad question,” Brian said, smacking his forehead. “Now I’m going to rephrase that and ask, have you ever played the drums before?”
Grace stalled for a moment before admitting hesitantly, “Well, technically, no. But I’ve always wanted to and I figured they couldn’t be that hard to play. And I must say, I really like playing the drums. I think I’m going to keep a set in my room from now on.”
“Ok, you know what? Everybody but Grace and Nina leave. Now,” Brian ordered. Everyone started clearing out of the area, and Brian walked over to Grace and Nina’s section.
“You know, we’re never going to get this together in time if you keep calling these breaks all the time,” Shana pointed out as she was walking by.
Brian rounded on her. “Well, if you think you can do such a better job at organizing this, then get over here and do it yourself,” he snapped.
Shana was gobsmacked by his reaction. Brian never got angry with any single person that fast. Even being around all of the people in the band wouldn’t have normally made him react like that. After a few seconds she recovered and frowned at him.
“Bitchy really doesn’t suit you, Brian,” she said.
One glance at the hurt look on Shana’s face and Brian was immediately ashamed of his outburst.
“Oh, Shana, I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean that,” he said, hanging his head and rubbing his eyes, showing how tired he was. “It’s just, we’ve been working at this for so long now, and we’ve only got so much time left, and I’ve had a headache for the last couple of hours... I’m just not in the best of moods right now,” he said, looking up at her again.
“Yeah, I understand,” Shana said. “Don’t worry; I’m not mad at you,” she added when Brian still looked upset, and then threw in a hug just to make sure he knew she was serious. She then left to join the rest of the musicians, and Brian got back to work with Grace and Nina, feeling slightly better than before.
“Ok, I need everyone in the band back over here, please!” Brian called across the crowded common room, yet another forty-five minutes later. Less than two minutes after that, everyone was back in their seat and ready to go.
“As you all know, I had Nina help Grace with the drums. It went... better than I expected, but we’re still not there yet. I know stopping like that isn’t helping the rest of you, but it may be better for the group as a whole. If we all practice a lot tonight, and a lot tomorrow, I think we’ll be able to make this work. What do you say?”
“I say, can we practice now instead of listen to you talk?” came from someone in the crowd.
“Oh, right, sure, sorry” Brian said after realising that he had spent more than enough time talking. “Let’s go.” He then raised his wand and began conducting, keeping them at practice well into the night.
By the next evening, the Orion House band had made great improvement. Their last practice had ended at six-thirty so they could make it to the Dining Hall to get ready for their performance by seven.
When they got into the Dining Hall, they saw that it was already nearly full. They were the last group to arrive, and would be the last group performing.
“Are you guys ready for this?” Brian asked his group.
“We have to be, don’t we? Considering we don’t have anymore practice time,” Delana said.
“Excuse me, everyone, please quiet down!” Miss Spenace announced across the hall. She waited for the room to get quiet, then continued. “Thank you. As you all know, every group that has entered this contest is competing for some kind of prize for their house. Up until know you have not known what the prize will be. And, I’m sorry to say, you won’t know until the end of the night. So, up first, we have the band from Cassiopeia. They’ll be performing ‘The Devil Went Down To Georgia’ by the Charlie Daniels Band. Interesting choice, Cassiopeia. Ok, the stage is yours.”
Miss Spenace left the stage and the Cassiopeia band began setting up for their song.
Before they even started playing, the audience could tell that it would be an interesting performance. All the bend members had on cowboy hats and boots to complete the “southern” look. They played the entire song quite well, but the best part was, obviously, “Johnny’s” fiddle solo. It was done perfectly, and the crowd loved it.
When they were done, they left the stage as everyone clapped and cheered.
“Crap, they sounded really good,” Brian complained.
“Well, they probably practiced for at least a couple of weeks,” Star said.
Brian turned around to look at her. “Oh, be quiet Star. You’re not even in the band, so you don’t get to criticize us.”
Just then, Miss Spenace announced that the next band performing was from Auriga, and that they would be singing “We Are the Champions” by Queen. Auriga took the stage and began their song.
“Thank god we’re not them,” Brian commented after just a few seconds of the song. “I would be so embarrassed if I were on that stage right now.”
The Auriga band sounded like they had had just about as much practice as Orion. Possibly even less. The first few chords were out of tune, and the lead singer sounded like he had laryngitis. By the middle of the song his voice was completely gone, and the guitar player forgot his part.
“Brian, you really shouldn’t be so mean,” said Hermione.
“What do you mean I’m being mean? I’m not being mean. Come on, even you have to admit they suck worse than we do.”
Hermione watched the band for a little while longer, but couldn’t think of anything to say in their defense.
“See, even you admit that they suck worse than us.”
“I said no such thing!”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t deny it either. That’s as good as agreeing,” Brian said, grinning at her because he knew it would irritate her.
“Oh, just leave me alone!” Hermione said, obviously flustered, then stomped away from him.
Brian laughed at her as she walked away, then clapped with everyone else when Auriga finally got off the stage.
“Ok, up next we have the band from Indus. They’ll be performing “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day. Take it away, Auriga.”
The Auriga band was, without a doubt, the most rehearsed. The music was played almost flawlessly. The singer knew all the words and hit every note. It was like they had studied a performance of the band and memorized every move they made. At the end of their song, the audience erupted. It had definitely been the best performance so far.
“Wow,” said Harry.
“I know,” Ron agreed.
“They were very good. I almost feel sorry for Brian,” Hermione said, turning to watch as Brian grumbled to himself and glared at anyone who looked at him.
“Almost?” Harry asked.
“Yes, almost. He was being rude to me earlier, so I don’t quite feel sorry for him right now.”
“Oh.”
And then it was they’re turn on stage. The Orion band members filed onto the stage as Miss Spenace introduced them.
“And last, but not least, we have the band from Orion. And it seems that would be quite a large band,” Miss Spenace commented as she watched all fifteen of them walk onto the stage.
“Ok, this is the Orion group, and they will be performing,” she paused again as she looked down at her list, making sure it was right, “the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch” song from the Burger King commercial. Well, ok, whatever. The stage is all yours, Orion.” She then walked away to sit with the other teachers.
Brian stood in front of the stage and waited for everyone to get settled into their positions (which was slightly difficult since there were so many of them), then began directing them. Jimmie took a few steps forward and began to sing.
When my belly starts a-rumblin’
And I’m jonesin’ for a treat
I close my eyes for a big surprise
The Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
Jimmie had started out nervous and quieter than normal, but had gained confidence and got louder as he saw that the audience were enjoying themselves and weren’t going to throw things at him.
I love the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
The breasts they grow on trees
And streams of bacon ranch dressing
Flow right up to your knees
There’s tumbleweeds of bacon
And cheddar paves the streets
Folks don’t diss front you ‘cause you got the juice
There’s a train of ladies comin’ with a nice caboose
Never get in trouble, never need an excuse
The Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
By the end of the third verse, everyone was feeling pretty good about their show. They were all really getting into the music. Jimmie had started wandering around the stage, singing to the other band members, the guitars were in their own little guitar world, Harry and Ron had come up with a little dance to go with their background singing. Even Hermione had loosened up quite a bit.
I love the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
No one tells you to behave
Your wildest fantasies come true
Dallas cheerleaders give you shaves
Red onions make you laugh instead
And french fries grow like weeds
You get to veg all day
All the lotto tickets pay
There’s a king who wants you to have it your way
That’s the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
Come ‘n get it…
When their song was over, the crowd was split between two different reactions. Half of them were cheering like they had for Indus, but the other half were laughing like they had for Auriga.
“Well, at least it wasn’t a complete failure,” Brian said to his band. They all agreed with him and moved out of the way as Miss Spenace returned, once again, to the center of the stage.
“Alright, that’s everyone. Now, would all of the other bands please join us up here for the judging? Well, actually, I don’t think we’ll all fit. All of the other bands can stand in front of the stage.” She waited until everyone was in the right spot and the room got quiet again. “Ok, now, the judging this year will be done the same as every year; with the Clap-O-Meter 3000.” She waved her wand and the Clap-O-Meter 3000 appeared next to her in the middle of the stage. “The way it works is, when I say the name of the band you want to win, you clap and the Clap-O-Meter 3000 will judge how loud you are. The group that gets the loudest applause wins. The first band that performed tonight was Cassiopeia. Who wants Cassiopeia to win?”
Most of the students from Cassiopeia, and a few others, cheered as loud as they could. It registered at a seven out of ten on the Clap-O-Meter.
“Ok, the next group to go was Auriga.”
The Auriga students cheered with all their might, but they only received a six.
“After that came Indus.”
The Hall suddenly exploded with applause that went on for a good five minutes. They got a nine point five.
“Wow, what a reaction. And, lastly, Orion.”
The noise level for Orion wasn’t quite as loud as for Indus, but it was enough to earn them an eight.
“And the results of the battle are in: Indus in first, Orion in second, Cassiopeia in third, and Auriga in fourth. All of our bands did a wonderful job tonight, and I think they’ve all earned another round of applause.” Miss Spenace stopped and clapped along with the rest of the students and teachers.
“And, so, the time to hand out the award has finally arrived. I bet you all want to know what it is, don’t you?” she asked, teasingly. The crowd cheered and whistled some more.
“Ok, the prize that Indus has won tonight is... use of the Dining Hall for a party for the rest of the night, with no curfew!”
The Indus students were beside themselves. It was even possible that they cheered louder for the prize than for their band.
“I’m sorry to say, everyone else must leave and return to their dorms. It’s not fair to Indus if their special treatment is shared with everyone. So, all of you who aren’t in Indus, move out!”
As Harry, Ron and Hermione were leaving the Hall with everyone else, someone ran into Harry and knocked him to the floor.
“Watch it, Potter,” came a familiar voice.
Harry looked up and saw that it was, sure enough, Malfoy.
“Of course, your highness,” Harry said as he stood up. “I see you’ve got a new group of followers. Why are you all leaving your hard-earned party?”
“Please, as if we don’t have something more important to do than stand around with these idiots for hours. Out of our way.”
Harry watched Draco and his new friends (the only Indus students leaving the party, he noticed) push their way between himself and Ron, and walk off down and empty hallway.
“Come on, Harry, let’s go,” Ron said.
Harry turned back to his friends and followed them back to the Orion common room.
“So, what do you guys want to do tonight?” Ron asked Harry and Hermione when they sat down on one of the couches. “Want to play Exploding Snap?” he asked as he pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket.
“Sure,” Harry answered.
“Hermione?” Ron prompted.
Hermione looked up at his, as if just coming out of a trance. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I asked if you wanted to play Exploding Snap,” Ron repeated.
“Not tonight. I’m actually not feeling well, all of a sudden,” she said.
“You’re not feeling well? Neither am I,” said Grace, who had just walked up to their group. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m just a little more tired than normal, and I’ve got a headache,” Hermione answered.
“Me too. Hey, I’ve got this herbal tea that’s supposed to help get rid of headaches. I gave some to Brian earlier, because he said he had one. Must be from all the stress of this battle thing. You wanna try some?”
“Sure, that sounds nice,” Hermione said.
“Ok, come with me to the room and you can have some while you get ready for bed.”
“Thank you so much, Grace. I’ll see you boys in the morning.” Hermione stood up and gave each of her best friends a hug, then followed Grace to their room.
After getting herself ready to go to sleep, Hermione took the cup of tea Grace offered her and drank it. Within minutes of finishing it she was feeling much better and drifted, almost instantly, off to sleep.
Over the next week, Harry, Ron and Hermione fell into a routine. Once they had gotten used to the new school, it seemed like time just flew by. They progressed nicely in their lessons (thanks to Hermione’s rigid study schedule), met and became friends with lots of new people, learned more about life in America, and watched as Kevin and Nicole broke up and got back together three more times. Naturally, in all of this activity, the Battle of the Bands was completely forgotten.
On the first Friday of October, the three Hogwarts students were sitting in the common room, having just returned from their last class of the day. They were talking with Brian, Jimmie, and Star.
“So, do you guys think you’ll have a chance to come into Chicago with us this weekend?” Brian asked. “You haven’t yet.”
“I don’t know,” Hermione answered. “I know we finally don’t have a lot of homework and studying to do this weekend, but it seems like there was some other important thing going on.”
“Hmm... I don’t know what that would be,” Brian said after thinking for a few seconds.
At that moment Kevin walked into the common room carrying a Burger King bag and cup. He walked over to where Ron, Harry, Hermione, Brian, Star, and Jimmie were and sat down with them. He opened the bag, took out his food, and started eating without saying anything to anyone.
After watching him eat half of his sandwich, Harry asked, “Um, where and when did you get that?”
Kevin looked up at Harry and answered him. "I skipped fourth period today and went to Burger King," he said, pointing to the bag “There’s one really close to here. The first Friday of every month I skip the last class of the day to get food. It's like my drug."
“What did you get this time?” Jimmie asked.
“A Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch,” Kevin answered. “Very delicious.”
“I bet,” Brian said. He then started humming the ‘Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch’ song. After a moment Jimmie started singing the words to the song.
Hermione suddenly went rigid.
“I know what we forgot!” she announced.
“What?”
“The battle of the bands contest is on Saturday!”
The effect of these words was instantaneous; Brian and Jimmie stopped exhibiting their musical talents, Kevin choked on a fry, Harry and Ron stared in shock, not believing that Hermione could forget something so important for so long, and Star giggled.
The silence that had befallen the group, save for Star, seemed to drag on forever. Finally, Brian broke it be saying, “Oops, we did it again.”
In any other situation that statement would have been hilarious. In this instance, however, no one found it even remotely entertaining. Except for Star, who fell off the couch because she was laughing so hard by that point.
“Who was supposed to be in charge of this thing?” Brian demanded. “And why are you laughing? This isn’t funny! Now we only have tonight to come up with something spectacular!”
“Sorry!” Star managed through her now suffocating laughter. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I’ll leave and figure it out.” She then stumbled through the door and left just as Grace and Shana were walking in.
“What’s her problem?” Shana asked when they reached the group.
“I don’t know, but I’m glad she’s gone,” Brian snapped.
“Ooh, someone’s grumpy,” Shana said as she sat down.
“Well, you would be, too, if you had forgotten about the Battle of the Bands that’s supposed to be happening on Saturday.”
“Oh, whoops.”
“Yeah, right, whoops. Now, I’m going to ask again; who was supposed to be in charge of this?”
“Well, I think we all assumed you were, since you were the one who was so adamant about not forgetting this year.”
Brian stopped his tirade and looked thoughtful for a second. “Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Well, anyway,” he started, changing the subject back to the actual battle, “we have to find a song, like, now. Any suggestions?”
Everyone was silent.
“How about the sandwich song you were just singing?” Ron suggested after a few minutes, snickering. Hermione glared at him.
“What?” Ron asked.
“That’s not funny, Ron. We’re supposed to be taking this seriously. That’s obviously not something-”
“Actually, I think that’s a pretty good idea,” Brian said. “And since no one else has any ideas, that’s the best we’ve got.” He then stood on one of the tables, much like he had a month ago, and attempted to get everyone’s attention.
“Hey, listen up!” When everyone finally realised that he was trying to talk to them, the conversations in the room gradually stopped.
“Thank you for opting to pay attention to me,” Brian started, slightly annoyed that it had taken so long. “As most of you have probably forgotten, the Battle of the Bands is tomorrow-”
“What?”
“You’re kidding!”
“What do you mean, tomorrow?”
“Well, I obviously mean tomorrow. As in Saturday. And if you want to hear the rest of what I have to say, you may want to shut up!”
The room suddenly got quite again.
“Thank you, again. Now, we’ve already got a song picked out, which means we’re further ahead at this point than we were last year. Who know the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch song?”
About 15 people raised their hands.
“How many of you know all the words to it?”
Only two people kept their hand up.
“Who has the ability to sing it without making people bleed from the ears?”
Only Jimmy was left with his hand in the air.
“Great, looks like Jimmy will be the lead singer! Now we’ve got two things taken care of-”
“Wait, what?” asked Jimmy, clearly hoping he had heard wrong.
“You’re the lead singer for tomorrow,” Brian said. “Do try to keep up from now on.”
Jimmy sighed and slumped back into the couch, muttering something that no one quite heard, but most could figure out was not pleasant.
“Now, who here can play an instrument? Holy crap, over half of you? Are you serious?” Brian asked, shocked. “I didn’t know you were smart enough... Ok, since we don’t need that many people, I’ll just randomly pick some of you. Let’s go with... Grace, Anna, Delana, Cody, Zack, Karen, Nicole, Chandler, Shana, Anthony, and Nina. Ok, those of you that I just named; come over here. The rest of you can go and make banners and posters and other forms of encouragement.”
Brian stepped down from the table and waited for the new band members to arrive in his corner of the room. While he was waiting, he also noticed that some of the people that he did not call the names of were still sitting in that area.
“What are you all still doing here? You’re supposed to be helping everyone else with the posters. GO!”
Hermione, Harry, Ron, Ryan, and Kevin all looked slightly offended, but stood to leave anyway.
Brian, changing his mind suddenly, said, “No, wait, you three can stay,” and pointed to the Hogwarts students. They looked at each other, confused.
“Why?” Harry asked. “We can’t play any instruments.”
“Well, you’re supposed to be learning about American culture, and whatnot, so I figured this would help. And Hermione’s smart, so she could probably learn to play something simple by tomorrow night.”
Hermione blushed slightly at the unintended compliment.
“What about Ron and me, though? We can’t do that. No offense, Ron,” he said, directing the last statement at his best friend. Ron made it apparent with a shake of his head that he didn’t mind.
Brian thought to himself for a minute, then said, “You can be back up singers!”
Harry and Ron looked at each other again, doubtful of Brian’s choice.
“We don’t know the words,” Ron said.
“You don’t need to,” Brian said, dismissing Ron’s concern, “you’re back up singers. All you have to do is stand behind Jimmy and say ‘ooo, ooo, ooo.’ It’s not that difficult.”
“Ok,” Ron sighed, still not believing that he and Harry were right for the part.
“Alright, now that you’ve all finally gotten here,” Brian said, turning and addressing the band members, “let’s get started. Grace, what can you play?”
“Umm, drums?” she answered.
Brian looked worried at her uncertainly, but moved to the next person.
“Anna, what about you?”
“I can play the recorder.”
“Ok, I guess we can work that in somehow. Cody?”
“Flute.”
“Zack?”
“Tuba.”
“Nicole?”
“Bass guitar.”
“Chandler?”
“Keyboard.”
“Ok, now we’re getting somewhere. Seems like we might actually be able to put something resembling a song together. Anthony?”
“Viola.”
Brian stared at him like he had grown another head. “You had to play something stupid, didn’t you?”
“What do you mean, ‘stupid?’ There’s nothing wrong with the viola!”
“But it’s going to sound stupid with the other instruments. Oh well, we’ll worry about it later. Shana.”
“Electric guitar.”
“Karen?”
“Harmonica.”
“Delana?”
“Acoustic guitar.”
“Ok, Nina? And if you play some kind of guitar, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Three is enough.”
“You don’t have to worry, I don’t play a guitar of any kind. I play the bass drum.”
“Like, in a marching band?”
“Is there something wrong with that?” Nina asked, looking like she would hurt anyone that suggested there was. Brian noticed this and quickly continued.
“Nope, perfectly fine. Did I leave anyone out?”
Hermione raised her hand.
“Oh, right, sorry about that. Um, you can play the triangle.”
“The triangle?” Hermione asked.
“Yeah, the triangle. It’s easy; all you have to do is bang on a triangle-shaped piece of metal with a metal stick.”
“Oh, ok.”
“Ok, we’ve got a song, band, instruments, and singers. Now we’ve just got to figure out how the hell we’re going to put all those together to make music.”
The first 30 minutes of their session on figuring out how to make music was actually spent arguing about how the music was supposed to be played (tempo, key, etc.). After listening to everyone bicker for so long without making any progress, Hermione finally got annoyed and told Harry and Ron to follow her to the library.
“Why are we going to the library?” Ron demanded on the way there. “How is the library possibly going to help us this time?”
Hermione glared at Ron, upset that he doubted the library’s ability to help them. “While I was in there on our first day here I found a book called 100,000 Things You Think You’ll Never Need To Know, But Probably Will At Some Point In Your Life, and I could have sworn I saw sheet music for this exact song in there.”
“Well, why didn’t you go and get it half an hour ago?” Ron asked, his voice raising slightly in anger. “You could have saved us a lot of trouble.”
“I just remembered, ok?” Hermione shouted. “Besides-” she started, but stopped abruptly when she lost her balance and fell forward. Harry had moved to help her, but Ron had already caught her and was helping her to stand up straight again.
“Woah, Hermione, are you alright?” he asked, concerned.
“Yeah, I think so,” she answered. She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to clear it.
“What happened?” Harry asked her.
“I don’t know, I just got dizzy all of a sudden,” she said.
“Do you need to see the nurse?” Ron asked, still sounding worried.
“No, I’m fine.” After a few more seconds she opened her eyes again and looked like she was back to normal.
“Thanks, Ron,” she said.
Ron, who had been watching her closely to make sure that was really ok, was startled. “Huh?” he said stupidly.
“I said thanks,” she repeated. “For helping me, I mean,” she added quietly, vaguely gesturing to the way Ron was still holding on to her.
Ron looked down at his own hands and, as if just realising where they were, quickly pulled them back and put them in his pockets. He looked down at the floor as he started turning pink. “Oh, right, it was nothing, not a problem,” he rambled.
The three of them stood there for a few seconds longer, Ron and Hermione in an awkward silence, purposely not meeting each other’s eyes, and Harry attempting not to laugh. After witnessing that scene, a few things in Harry’s head clicked and he realised that something was bound to happen between his two best friends soon, whether they realised it or not.
To break the silence, Ron cleared his throat and said, “So, um, the library...”
“Right, the library,” Hermione said, glad to move to safer, more comfortable territory. She then began leading the way down the hall again.
When the trio finally reached the library, Harry and Ron went to find seats while Hermione went to the desk and started talking to the librarian. Harry noticed that it seemed like the two were already acting like old friends. After a few more moments of friendly chatting, Hermione received the book she wanted and sat down with Harry and Ron.
“It’s so good to actually be able to have a conversation with the librarian. Madam Pince was nothing like Meredith. She’s so much nicer, though maybe a tad bit airheaded.”
“Wait, you’re on a first name basis with the librarian?” Ron asked in disbelief.
“Of course,” Hermione answered, like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Ron decided it was best to just let the matter go and focus on the task at hand.
“Whatever. So, where is this music you saw?”
“Oh, right.” Hermione opened the large book to the table of contents and found the section called Music You’ll Probably Need to Know For Some Reason. Towards the bottom of the list, indeed, was the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch song. “See, I told you it was in here.”
“Well, then, check out the book and let’s take it back to the others before they start tearing each other apart.”
“Why are you in such a hurry?” Harry asked Ron.
“If you hadn’t noticed, nearly everyone else in the school is eating right now. I figured if we get this little mission accomplished, Brian might take it a little bit easier on us and actually let us go to dinner.”
Harry thought through this logic for a moment. “Actually, that does make sense,” he said. “And you’re right, everyone else is eating dinner. Now that you mention it, I’m hungry too. Come on, Hermione, let’s go.”
“Do you two only ever think of food?” she asked as she stood up and started walking to the check out desk.
“Only when I’m supposed to be eating it, but am being otherwise detained,” said Ron.
Hermione checked out the book and soon after they were on their way back to the common room. When they walked in, Brian attacked them.
“Where were you? And why didn’t you tell anyone you were leaving? We’re in the middle of a crisis here, and you three just up and walk out whenever you feel like it-”
“Brian, shut up!” Ron yelled. Brian was so taken aback at Ron’s outburst that he stopped talking and just stared at him.
“Hermione found a solution to your problem,” Ron said. He took the book from her and handed it, opened to the right page, to Brian.
Brian looked at it. When he realised what it was, he felt slightly ashamed for yelling at them.
“Oh. Sorry about that, guys. Um, thanks for finding this Hermione.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Hermione said.
Brian took the book back to the rest of the group and shared it with them. In another ten minutes they had figured out how to make copies for everyone and Brian reluctantly let them all leave for dinner.
“But I want you all back here as soon as you get done eating, got it?”
“Yeah, whatever,” Grace mumbled.
“I mean it!” Brian said. “You’ve got an hour to get back up here. If we lose this year, I’m personally holding each and every one of you responsible.”
Even though no one seemed to have taken Brian’s words seriously, dinner was a bit more stressful that night. All of them seemed to be lost in thought and ate more quietly than normal.
Just before an hour had passed, everyone had made their way back to the common room. By that time, most that had their instruments with them at school had gotten them from their rooms. The rest were trying to make do with whatever they were able to transfigure from random furniture from the room, so they could practice with the others. Hermione was able to create a triangle from a lamp on only her second attempt, and then went around the room helping the others. A few minutes later, everyone had their instruments ready to go. Most of them were less than perfect, but they would do for the next few hours.
“Now, does everyone have a copy of the sheet music?” Brian asked as he stood on his table at the front of the room. Everyone shook their head and Brian continued.
“That’s great. Now, when I count to three I want everyone to start playing the piece.” The room looked ready, so Brian counted, “One, two, three!”
The next moment there was a horrific noise as everyone in the room began to play at once, all at their own tempo.
“Enough!” Brian yelled, barely able to be heard over the explosion of sound. Everyone stopped quickly except for Grace, who kept on drumming, obviously the reason for half of the noise level. After a few seconds she noticed that the rest of the room had stopped playing, and, slightly embarrassed, also stopped.
“Ok, that didn’t go as well as I’d hoped,” Brian said. “This time I think it would be better to try it in sections.” All agreed, and Brian went to work dividing the room into sections he could manage.
After 45 minutes of practice, all the sections seemed to have the basis of the song down. For once, Brian was feeling slightly more confident that they would actually be able to pull it off.
Harry, who had been watching from the other side of the room, was also feeling better about the whole ordeal. If things went well, Hermione would be happy and not try to blame Harry and Ron for the entire group failing. But if they didn’t… well, he just hoped everything went well.
Brian got back on top of his table, then, and addressed the group. “Ok, the first time through I want everyone but the drums to play.” With that he flicked his wand, which he was using in place of a baton, and everyone began to play.
It wasn’t the best thing Harry had ever heard, but this time he could at least tell what song they were attempting to play. Somewhere around the middle of the song he looked over to where Grace and Nina were sitting. Both of the girls seemed to be following along with the music as the others played, but not doing anything else.
Just then, Ron nudged him in the side. “Hey, do you realize that neither Grace or Nina have played since that first attempt?”
“Yeah, I did notice that. I wonder how good they’ll be?”
“I dunno,” Ron said. “Hopefully decent, or Brian is probably going to go into a mad rage.”
It wasn’t long before their question was answered. Right after the song had been played through twice, Brian shouted, “Ok, now let’s add the drums!”
Grace looked ecstatic to hear that and jumped onto her drum seat. Brain raised his hands and began to conduct. Just as the band hit their first note, the loud crash of drums and symbols drowned out most everyone else. Most stopped playing and looked at Grace, who was all over her drum set, and obviously didn’t have a clue what she was doing.
“Stop. Stop! STOP!” Brian shouted. After his third “stop,” Grace looked up and noticed that she was, yet again, the only one still playing.
“Sorry,” She muttered in an apologetic tone. “Was I off the beat?”
When everyone realised that she was serious, they all started to laugh, and Brain turned red and stared at her in disbelief.
“Off the beat? You weren’t even close to the beat! I though you said you could play the drums?”
“I can play the drums!” She then began to beat on them like she had before. After a few seconds she looked up and said, “See?”
“Ok, that was a bad question,” Brian said, smacking his forehead. “Now I’m going to rephrase that and ask, have you ever played the drums before?”
Grace stalled for a moment before admitting hesitantly, “Well, technically, no. But I’ve always wanted to and I figured they couldn’t be that hard to play. And I must say, I really like playing the drums. I think I’m going to keep a set in my room from now on.”
“Ok, you know what? Everybody but Grace and Nina leave. Now,” Brian ordered. Everyone started clearing out of the area, and Brian walked over to Grace and Nina’s section.
“You know, we’re never going to get this together in time if you keep calling these breaks all the time,” Shana pointed out as she was walking by.
Brian rounded on her. “Well, if you think you can do such a better job at organizing this, then get over here and do it yourself,” he snapped.
Shana was gobsmacked by his reaction. Brian never got angry with any single person that fast. Even being around all of the people in the band wouldn’t have normally made him react like that. After a few seconds she recovered and frowned at him.
“Bitchy really doesn’t suit you, Brian,” she said.
One glance at the hurt look on Shana’s face and Brian was immediately ashamed of his outburst.
“Oh, Shana, I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean that,” he said, hanging his head and rubbing his eyes, showing how tired he was. “It’s just, we’ve been working at this for so long now, and we’ve only got so much time left, and I’ve had a headache for the last couple of hours... I’m just not in the best of moods right now,” he said, looking up at her again.
“Yeah, I understand,” Shana said. “Don’t worry; I’m not mad at you,” she added when Brian still looked upset, and then threw in a hug just to make sure he knew she was serious. She then left to join the rest of the musicians, and Brian got back to work with Grace and Nina, feeling slightly better than before.
“Ok, I need everyone in the band back over here, please!” Brian called across the crowded common room, yet another forty-five minutes later. Less than two minutes after that, everyone was back in their seat and ready to go.
“As you all know, I had Nina help Grace with the drums. It went... better than I expected, but we’re still not there yet. I know stopping like that isn’t helping the rest of you, but it may be better for the group as a whole. If we all practice a lot tonight, and a lot tomorrow, I think we’ll be able to make this work. What do you say?”
“I say, can we practice now instead of listen to you talk?” came from someone in the crowd.
“Oh, right, sure, sorry” Brian said after realising that he had spent more than enough time talking. “Let’s go.” He then raised his wand and began conducting, keeping them at practice well into the night.
By the next evening, the Orion House band had made great improvement. Their last practice had ended at six-thirty so they could make it to the Dining Hall to get ready for their performance by seven.
When they got into the Dining Hall, they saw that it was already nearly full. They were the last group to arrive, and would be the last group performing.
“Are you guys ready for this?” Brian asked his group.
“We have to be, don’t we? Considering we don’t have anymore practice time,” Delana said.
“Excuse me, everyone, please quiet down!” Miss Spenace announced across the hall. She waited for the room to get quiet, then continued. “Thank you. As you all know, every group that has entered this contest is competing for some kind of prize for their house. Up until know you have not known what the prize will be. And, I’m sorry to say, you won’t know until the end of the night. So, up first, we have the band from Cassiopeia. They’ll be performing ‘The Devil Went Down To Georgia’ by the Charlie Daniels Band. Interesting choice, Cassiopeia. Ok, the stage is yours.”
Miss Spenace left the stage and the Cassiopeia band began setting up for their song.
Before they even started playing, the audience could tell that it would be an interesting performance. All the bend members had on cowboy hats and boots to complete the “southern” look. They played the entire song quite well, but the best part was, obviously, “Johnny’s” fiddle solo. It was done perfectly, and the crowd loved it.
When they were done, they left the stage as everyone clapped and cheered.
“Crap, they sounded really good,” Brian complained.
“Well, they probably practiced for at least a couple of weeks,” Star said.
Brian turned around to look at her. “Oh, be quiet Star. You’re not even in the band, so you don’t get to criticize us.”
Just then, Miss Spenace announced that the next band performing was from Auriga, and that they would be singing “We Are the Champions” by Queen. Auriga took the stage and began their song.
“Thank god we’re not them,” Brian commented after just a few seconds of the song. “I would be so embarrassed if I were on that stage right now.”
The Auriga band sounded like they had had just about as much practice as Orion. Possibly even less. The first few chords were out of tune, and the lead singer sounded like he had laryngitis. By the middle of the song his voice was completely gone, and the guitar player forgot his part.
“Brian, you really shouldn’t be so mean,” said Hermione.
“What do you mean I’m being mean? I’m not being mean. Come on, even you have to admit they suck worse than we do.”
Hermione watched the band for a little while longer, but couldn’t think of anything to say in their defense.
“See, even you admit that they suck worse than us.”
“I said no such thing!”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t deny it either. That’s as good as agreeing,” Brian said, grinning at her because he knew it would irritate her.
“Oh, just leave me alone!” Hermione said, obviously flustered, then stomped away from him.
Brian laughed at her as she walked away, then clapped with everyone else when Auriga finally got off the stage.
“Ok, up next we have the band from Indus. They’ll be performing “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day. Take it away, Auriga.”
The Auriga band was, without a doubt, the most rehearsed. The music was played almost flawlessly. The singer knew all the words and hit every note. It was like they had studied a performance of the band and memorized every move they made. At the end of their song, the audience erupted. It had definitely been the best performance so far.
“Wow,” said Harry.
“I know,” Ron agreed.
“They were very good. I almost feel sorry for Brian,” Hermione said, turning to watch as Brian grumbled to himself and glared at anyone who looked at him.
“Almost?” Harry asked.
“Yes, almost. He was being rude to me earlier, so I don’t quite feel sorry for him right now.”
“Oh.”
And then it was they’re turn on stage. The Orion band members filed onto the stage as Miss Spenace introduced them.
“And last, but not least, we have the band from Orion. And it seems that would be quite a large band,” Miss Spenace commented as she watched all fifteen of them walk onto the stage.
“Ok, this is the Orion group, and they will be performing,” she paused again as she looked down at her list, making sure it was right, “the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch” song from the Burger King commercial. Well, ok, whatever. The stage is all yours, Orion.” She then walked away to sit with the other teachers.
Brian stood in front of the stage and waited for everyone to get settled into their positions (which was slightly difficult since there were so many of them), then began directing them. Jimmie took a few steps forward and began to sing.
When my belly starts a-rumblin’
And I’m jonesin’ for a treat
I close my eyes for a big surprise
The Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
Jimmie had started out nervous and quieter than normal, but had gained confidence and got louder as he saw that the audience were enjoying themselves and weren’t going to throw things at him.
I love the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
The breasts they grow on trees
And streams of bacon ranch dressing
Flow right up to your knees
There’s tumbleweeds of bacon
And cheddar paves the streets
Folks don’t diss front you ‘cause you got the juice
There’s a train of ladies comin’ with a nice caboose
Never get in trouble, never need an excuse
The Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
By the end of the third verse, everyone was feeling pretty good about their show. They were all really getting into the music. Jimmie had started wandering around the stage, singing to the other band members, the guitars were in their own little guitar world, Harry and Ron had come up with a little dance to go with their background singing. Even Hermione had loosened up quite a bit.
I love the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
No one tells you to behave
Your wildest fantasies come true
Dallas cheerleaders give you shaves
Red onions make you laugh instead
And french fries grow like weeds
You get to veg all day
All the lotto tickets pay
There’s a king who wants you to have it your way
That’s the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
Come ‘n get it…
When their song was over, the crowd was split between two different reactions. Half of them were cheering like they had for Indus, but the other half were laughing like they had for Auriga.
“Well, at least it wasn’t a complete failure,” Brian said to his band. They all agreed with him and moved out of the way as Miss Spenace returned, once again, to the center of the stage.
“Alright, that’s everyone. Now, would all of the other bands please join us up here for the judging? Well, actually, I don’t think we’ll all fit. All of the other bands can stand in front of the stage.” She waited until everyone was in the right spot and the room got quiet again. “Ok, now, the judging this year will be done the same as every year; with the Clap-O-Meter 3000.” She waved her wand and the Clap-O-Meter 3000 appeared next to her in the middle of the stage. “The way it works is, when I say the name of the band you want to win, you clap and the Clap-O-Meter 3000 will judge how loud you are. The group that gets the loudest applause wins. The first band that performed tonight was Cassiopeia. Who wants Cassiopeia to win?”
Most of the students from Cassiopeia, and a few others, cheered as loud as they could. It registered at a seven out of ten on the Clap-O-Meter.
“Ok, the next group to go was Auriga.”
The Auriga students cheered with all their might, but they only received a six.
“After that came Indus.”
The Hall suddenly exploded with applause that went on for a good five minutes. They got a nine point five.
“Wow, what a reaction. And, lastly, Orion.”
The noise level for Orion wasn’t quite as loud as for Indus, but it was enough to earn them an eight.
“And the results of the battle are in: Indus in first, Orion in second, Cassiopeia in third, and Auriga in fourth. All of our bands did a wonderful job tonight, and I think they’ve all earned another round of applause.” Miss Spenace stopped and clapped along with the rest of the students and teachers.
“And, so, the time to hand out the award has finally arrived. I bet you all want to know what it is, don’t you?” she asked, teasingly. The crowd cheered and whistled some more.
“Ok, the prize that Indus has won tonight is... use of the Dining Hall for a party for the rest of the night, with no curfew!”
The Indus students were beside themselves. It was even possible that they cheered louder for the prize than for their band.
“I’m sorry to say, everyone else must leave and return to their dorms. It’s not fair to Indus if their special treatment is shared with everyone. So, all of you who aren’t in Indus, move out!”
As Harry, Ron and Hermione were leaving the Hall with everyone else, someone ran into Harry and knocked him to the floor.
“Watch it, Potter,” came a familiar voice.
Harry looked up and saw that it was, sure enough, Malfoy.
“Of course, your highness,” Harry said as he stood up. “I see you’ve got a new group of followers. Why are you all leaving your hard-earned party?”
“Please, as if we don’t have something more important to do than stand around with these idiots for hours. Out of our way.”
Harry watched Draco and his new friends (the only Indus students leaving the party, he noticed) push their way between himself and Ron, and walk off down and empty hallway.
“Come on, Harry, let’s go,” Ron said.
Harry turned back to his friends and followed them back to the Orion common room.
“So, what do you guys want to do tonight?” Ron asked Harry and Hermione when they sat down on one of the couches. “Want to play Exploding Snap?” he asked as he pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket.
“Sure,” Harry answered.
“Hermione?” Ron prompted.
Hermione looked up at his, as if just coming out of a trance. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I asked if you wanted to play Exploding Snap,” Ron repeated.
“Not tonight. I’m actually not feeling well, all of a sudden,” she said.
“You’re not feeling well? Neither am I,” said Grace, who had just walked up to their group. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m just a little more tired than normal, and I’ve got a headache,” Hermione answered.
“Me too. Hey, I’ve got this herbal tea that’s supposed to help get rid of headaches. I gave some to Brian earlier, because he said he had one. Must be from all the stress of this battle thing. You wanna try some?”
“Sure, that sounds nice,” Hermione said.
“Ok, come with me to the room and you can have some while you get ready for bed.”
“Thank you so much, Grace. I’ll see you boys in the morning.” Hermione stood up and gave each of her best friends a hug, then followed Grace to their room.
After getting herself ready to go to sleep, Hermione took the cup of tea Grace offered her and drank it. Within minutes of finishing it she was feeling much better and drifted, almost instantly, off to sleep.