wildest dreams (1/?)
Title: wildest dreams
Pairing: Baekhyun/Yifan
Genre: angst?
Length: one-shot (1102 words)
Summary: baekhyun wants what he can't have
It’s stupid, and Baekhyun knows it is. Crazy even, that he has to constantly remind himself that none of this is real. That this is all for the camera. That they’re only following the script. That the feelings are supposedly fabricated, faked for the sake of theatricality.
That’s what makes them top actors after all.
But it’s so easy to forget when their kisses linger, leaving him in a daze long after the director calls cut. When Yifan reminds him so much of home despite the fact that the only time they’ve spent so little time with each other. When he didn’t even know anything remotely personal about Yifan until they were shipped to a non-descript island where they’ll be shooting for an entire month.
It’s only been two weeks, but he thinks the isolation is getting to his head. He’s never been away from the limelight this long, and at first it was comforting. No reporters following him around wherever he went. It’s a bit relaxing knowing that he has more freedom than usual. But now, it’s just frustrating. There’s only about 15 people with them, all part of the crew since the other actors have finished shooting their scenes. And there’s no signal, there’s nothing but basic necessities in the island to be exact.
That leaves him with a lot of alone time to ponder on things that don’t usually cross his mind. And more importantly, it gives him a lot of time to think about how much he wants his Chinese co-actor. How much he wants this to be real.
He’s not the sentimental, romantic type. He learned early that being in the business leaves you with no room for mistakes, no time for relationships. He’s had several flings and one-night stands, and feelings have never been a problem to him. He doesn’t do relationships, and that’s always been the case.
Not until he met Yifan.
He never believed in love at first sight. He strongly believes that what people claim to be love is just physical attraction, the work of hormones. Because what is love, really? He doubts its existence. Love? It’s merely lust, the need for physical contact and pleasure. Or loneliness even, the need to be with someone just for the sake of having company.
He’s not sure where he stands, but it’s somewhere in between. There’s this need to get to know the other man, to be with him, to kiss the living daylights out of him.
But unlike him, Yifan has someone waiting for him when he gets back. And although being with people who had relationships never bothered him, that’s because there were never strings attached in the affairs he’s been in. But this time, it’s completely different. He wants to throw away all his pride, his beliefs.
And it’s fucking stupid, because he’s willing to risk his image and even ruin a relationship just to be with Yifan.
He doesn’t have an idea where he stands with Yifan. But sometimes he thinks he’s not the only one who wants this, that Yifan also wants this as much as he does. Because really, it doesn’t feel like acting anymore. The looks, the touches, the kisses.
He easily forgets that he’s Byun Baekhyun, and he falls deep into character. He becomes Choi Jiwon, the Korean veterinarian assigned to an exploration that ends badly when their ship sinks on the way back, leaving Jiwon with Ling Zhiyuan, the captain of the ship, Yifan’s character. It’s a cliche story line from then on, with them falling in love while trying to survive in the forest. When they get back, they face the reality that they’re both married men with responsibilities. It’s tragic and beautiful.
And they don’t end up together in the movie, but Baekhyun doesn’t want the same thing to happen in real life.
----
“Cut!”
The crew gives them a warm round of applause. They just finished filming their last scene and are bound to go home the next day. Baekhyun thanks the heavens that they didn’t shoot the scenes chronologically, or he’d be too emotional and too in character again.
Over the past two weeks, they’ve gotten closer. And the attraction is even more intense now, and maybe, just maybe, it could be love. But what is love, even? It’s a question he still has no answer to. But what he’s feeling - it’s getting there.
There’s a sense of dread that washes over him. It’s been two weeks since he admitted his feelings to himself, but he hasn’t made a bold act on it. Each time he thinks of doing something, anything, a voice in his head holds him back. Preventing him from doing the thing he might regret the most. But regret comes both ways, he realizes. And either way, he’ll be stuck with what ifs for the rest of his life.
The staff brings out the soju, the beer, the wine - all the alcohol they have left on set. The completion of the shooting calls for celebration after all. Baekhyun goes around, thanking the director and the entire staff for their hard work and patience. He drinks too, probably more than he can take, but he doesn’t pay much attention.
“Baek?”
They’re way past the stage of formalities, and Yifan insists on calling him that. Saying it’s cute, suiting him well. He remembers blushing furiously even though it’s a dumb offhanded comment.
“Hmm?” he hums in reply, turning around to face Yifan, who still looks as stunning as ever in his eyes despite his hazy vision caused by the amount of alcohol he’s consumed.
“Thank you,” Yifan says, his eyes directed at the ground, and Baekhyun wonders, wonders why the other man can’t look him in the eye.
There’s a brief pause, and for a moment their eyes meet. And Baekhyun can feel it coming. He feels it, as Yifan lifts a hand, placing it on his cheek, thumb tracing his lips.
“I’m sorry. I really am.” Yifan continues, unknowingly shattering his heart.
Now he can see it coming; he knows what’s next.
And even though it’ll hurt more this way, he allows it. He’s a sadist after all.
So he doesn’t move when Yifan bends down, closing the gap between their faces. He doesn’t flinch when he feels Yifan’s breath on his lips. And he only closes his eyes when their lips touch. It’s a different sensation this time, unlike all their other kisses that were full of passion and intensity, this one is gentle.
Their first and last kiss as Baekhyun and Yifan. A kiss that says what they don’t.
Pairing: Baekhyun/Yifan
Genre: angst?
Length: one-shot (1102 words)
Summary: baekhyun wants what he can't have
It’s stupid, and Baekhyun knows it is. Crazy even, that he has to constantly remind himself that none of this is real. That this is all for the camera. That they’re only following the script. That the feelings are supposedly fabricated, faked for the sake of theatricality.
That’s what makes them top actors after all.
But it’s so easy to forget when their kisses linger, leaving him in a daze long after the director calls cut. When Yifan reminds him so much of home despite the fact that the only time they’ve spent so little time with each other. When he didn’t even know anything remotely personal about Yifan until they were shipped to a non-descript island where they’ll be shooting for an entire month.
It’s only been two weeks, but he thinks the isolation is getting to his head. He’s never been away from the limelight this long, and at first it was comforting. No reporters following him around wherever he went. It’s a bit relaxing knowing that he has more freedom than usual. But now, it’s just frustrating. There’s only about 15 people with them, all part of the crew since the other actors have finished shooting their scenes. And there’s no signal, there’s nothing but basic necessities in the island to be exact.
That leaves him with a lot of alone time to ponder on things that don’t usually cross his mind. And more importantly, it gives him a lot of time to think about how much he wants his Chinese co-actor. How much he wants this to be real.
He’s not the sentimental, romantic type. He learned early that being in the business leaves you with no room for mistakes, no time for relationships. He’s had several flings and one-night stands, and feelings have never been a problem to him. He doesn’t do relationships, and that’s always been the case.
Not until he met Yifan.
He never believed in love at first sight. He strongly believes that what people claim to be love is just physical attraction, the work of hormones. Because what is love, really? He doubts its existence. Love? It’s merely lust, the need for physical contact and pleasure. Or loneliness even, the need to be with someone just for the sake of having company.
He’s not sure where he stands, but it’s somewhere in between. There’s this need to get to know the other man, to be with him, to kiss the living daylights out of him.
But unlike him, Yifan has someone waiting for him when he gets back. And although being with people who had relationships never bothered him, that’s because there were never strings attached in the affairs he’s been in. But this time, it’s completely different. He wants to throw away all his pride, his beliefs.
And it’s fucking stupid, because he’s willing to risk his image and even ruin a relationship just to be with Yifan.
He doesn’t have an idea where he stands with Yifan. But sometimes he thinks he’s not the only one who wants this, that Yifan also wants this as much as he does. Because really, it doesn’t feel like acting anymore. The looks, the touches, the kisses.
He easily forgets that he’s Byun Baekhyun, and he falls deep into character. He becomes Choi Jiwon, the Korean veterinarian assigned to an exploration that ends badly when their ship sinks on the way back, leaving Jiwon with Ling Zhiyuan, the captain of the ship, Yifan’s character. It’s a cliche story line from then on, with them falling in love while trying to survive in the forest. When they get back, they face the reality that they’re both married men with responsibilities. It’s tragic and beautiful.
And they don’t end up together in the movie, but Baekhyun doesn’t want the same thing to happen in real life.
----
“Cut!”
The crew gives them a warm round of applause. They just finished filming their last scene and are bound to go home the next day. Baekhyun thanks the heavens that they didn’t shoot the scenes chronologically, or he’d be too emotional and too in character again.
Over the past two weeks, they’ve gotten closer. And the attraction is even more intense now, and maybe, just maybe, it could be love. But what is love, even? It’s a question he still has no answer to. But what he’s feeling - it’s getting there.
There’s a sense of dread that washes over him. It’s been two weeks since he admitted his feelings to himself, but he hasn’t made a bold act on it. Each time he thinks of doing something, anything, a voice in his head holds him back. Preventing him from doing the thing he might regret the most. But regret comes both ways, he realizes. And either way, he’ll be stuck with what ifs for the rest of his life.
The staff brings out the soju, the beer, the wine - all the alcohol they have left on set. The completion of the shooting calls for celebration after all. Baekhyun goes around, thanking the director and the entire staff for their hard work and patience. He drinks too, probably more than he can take, but he doesn’t pay much attention.
“Baek?”
They’re way past the stage of formalities, and Yifan insists on calling him that. Saying it’s cute, suiting him well. He remembers blushing furiously even though it’s a dumb offhanded comment.
“Hmm?” he hums in reply, turning around to face Yifan, who still looks as stunning as ever in his eyes despite his hazy vision caused by the amount of alcohol he’s consumed.
“Thank you,” Yifan says, his eyes directed at the ground, and Baekhyun wonders, wonders why the other man can’t look him in the eye.
There’s a brief pause, and for a moment their eyes meet. And Baekhyun can feel it coming. He feels it, as Yifan lifts a hand, placing it on his cheek, thumb tracing his lips.
“I’m sorry. I really am.” Yifan continues, unknowingly shattering his heart.
Now he can see it coming; he knows what’s next.
And even though it’ll hurt more this way, he allows it. He’s a sadist after all.
So he doesn’t move when Yifan bends down, closing the gap between their faces. He doesn’t flinch when he feels Yifan’s breath on his lips. And he only closes his eyes when their lips touch. It’s a different sensation this time, unlike all their other kisses that were full of passion and intensity, this one is gentle.
Their first and last kiss as Baekhyun and Yifan. A kiss that says what they don’t.