Monkeys Throw Poo
Title: Monkeys Throw Poo (it uh makes sense honestly...)
Pairing: Akame
Genre: Humour, romance, fluff
Warning: Swearing, AU
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone mentioned
Summary: Jin really hated Kazuya, he was annoyed and took far too much pleasure in insulting Jin.
AN: Uh yeah I was supposed to write the sequel for Bye Bye Coffee but my inspiration has been blocked, plus migraines mean that I can't really write much >___<
Jin didn’t like him. The kid Tatsuya brought to band practise was rummaging through their things and making stupid little noises. Plus all the others were ogling him like he was a supermodel. And he wasn’t, he really wasn’t. His nose was crooked and his eyes were too narrow and he was stick thin. The kid just wasn’t attractive.
Jin’s chord was interrupted by a loud crash and some cursing. Tatsuya and Koki rushed over to the rubble and helped out the kid from under a huge pile of clothes. Okay so maybe they weren’t the cleanest of people.
“Ow Tat-chan I think I have an STD now” Tatsuya sighed and helped him sit down despite the protests. Jin on the other hand huffed and glared at the boy: he did not have an STD.
“Kame no one here has an STD” A look in Jin’s direction “At least I think” Jin gaped and spluttered out protests but was drowned out by the other’s laughter. Traitors.
“Urgh can we just get back to practise now?” Tatsuya hummed in agreement to Jin and made his way to the bass.
“Huh? That was you actually playing? I thought you were just testing out the chords” Once again Jin was interrupted by the little brat, he was staring smugly at Jin and if it wasn’t for Tatsuya he would’ve killed the brat hours ago.
“Well you guys suck” There was a sharp intake of breath from every single band member before Yamapi burst into laughter. Jin’s grip on the guitar was so tight he was sure it would snap in half soon. All the band members looked at Tatsuya who shrugged and gave them a sheepish smile.
After that disastrous rehearsal the band agreed that Kazuya would never be allowed into band practise again. Tatsuya bit his lip and sent pleading looks at Koki but the other just shrugged and sent another look at Jin. They thought he didn’t see it but he did, and it spiked his curiosity.
~
Jin was working on new lyrics when he saw Kazuya again. He had seen the younger man a few times on campus but he was usually accompanied by Tatsuya or Koki, but now he was with a senior student. Jin raised an eyebrow at the red face and clasped hands. He couldn’t believe he was saying this but the brat looked...cute...
The senior leaned towards Kazuya who turned away and stepped back a little, Jin could almost hear the conversation. The senior student must have been asking Kazuya out but Kazuya, being the spoiled brat he is wouldn’t go out with someone who was too tall, or too short, or too smart or anything other than perfect. The older man walked away and Kazuya followed him with his gaze before turning back around and walking away.
Jin shook his head and went back to writing lyrics, they had a performance that weekend and Jin had to finish these lyrics soon so everyone could learn it.
~
It was the night of their big performance and everyone was a little nervous. It wasn’t the first time they had ever performed but it was the biggest venue they had performed in. But Jin was confident they would kick ass. The place still hadn’t opened up and the band was setting up, the little brat was also there and was laughing about something with Yamapi. Jin felt a wave of jealousy rush over him which he quickly ignored: he was not jealous of that little brat.
Once everyone poured in and they began playing Jin was too distracted to even think about Kazuya. He did however catch the younger man’s eye, and he had a hard time looking away. The brat was actually smiling; the same brat who had told them they sucked was actually enjoying himself. It was a small victory but a victory nonetheless.
He was distracted of course when a thong flew onto the stage and into Ryo’s face. Jin missed a few lines because he was laughing so much at the affronted look on Ryo’s face and the heated glares Tatsuya was sending him. They got back into rhythm soon enough though and got through the performance without any other mistakes.
After that fantastic performance the band decided to buy a few rounds to celebrate, and Jin loved drinking. Everyone else had gone off dancing or whatever so only Jin and Kazuya were left in the booth. And Jin just couldn’t resist.
“Well, well, well Kamenashi who sucks now?” They were so close and Jin bet he could count the eyelashes on the pretty boy’s face.
“You still suck, your lyrics are atrocious and your stage clothes are hideous” Kazuya wasn’t looking at Jin, instead he was watching Koki chatting up some girls. Instead of getting annoyed as he usually would Jin smirked and leaned forward so he was breathing into the younger man’s ear. Kazuya instantly stiffened, his eyes were wide and his face was growing steadily redder.
“Kazu-chan, you don’t need to pretend, I know you liked the show” Jin’s hand began running up Kazuya’s leg, steadily growing closer to his private area. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of you know, I’m hot and no one can resist me~” Kazuya smacked the hand that was now squeezing his thigh. He turned around to face Jin and glare angrily at him.
~
Tatsuya didn’t know what happened, but all of a sudden Jin was on the floor holding his nose and Kazuya was running out of the club. Worriedly he looked at Ryo who nodded and went to see if Jin was alright, Tatsuya on the other hand followed Kazuya.
He found the younger man leaning against the wall, his face was buried in his hands and Tatsuya noticed his legs were shaking. Tatsuya carefully made his way towards Kazuya and surged forward to catch him as his legs finally gave out.
“Kame what the hell happened?” Kazuya just groaned into his hands, he started mumbling but his voice was muffled and Tatsuya couldn’t make anything out. He grabbed Kazuya’s hands and pulled them away from his face before asking again.
“I messed up again, he must hate me now” Tatsuya laughed and hugged his friend friend, Kazuya meanwhile was lightly banging his head against Tatsuya’s shoulder.
“Oh Kame you really can’t handle crushes well, instead of insulting him maybe you should I dunno complement him?” Kazuya stopped banging his head and instead leaned into the older man.
“Everytime I see him I get so nervous and the insults just roll out” Tatsuya just sighed and patted Kazuya’s back. Both he and Koki had been given the whole speech about how amazing Jin was and how creative he was, but no matter how many times Kazuya went on about him in private whenever Jin was there the younger man just spewed out insults. It was a little sad, funny, but sad.
~
Jin hadn’t seen Kazuya in the weeks following the whole punching accident. His friends thought that it was hilarious when he showed up with a black eye and a cast thing on his nose. It wasn’t broken thankfully but the doctor still insisted he wore the hideous thing ‘just in case’. Just in case his ass, the stupid doctor was just a sadist who liked preying on pretty boy musicians. He was obviously jealous of Jin’s awesomeness.
He was surprised, therefore, when the younger man suddenly stepped out of a corner and blocked his way. He started muttering some incomprehensible rubbish, he was looking down and his hair shielded his eyes. So Jin really had no idea what he was saying.
“Huh?” The muttering stopped and Jin could see Kazuya taking a deep breath before looking up and looking straight into Jin’s eyes. He could see the determination in Kazuya’s face and was confused as to what was happening.
“I like your music” There was silence whilst Jin just stared at Kazuya, he was completely baffled. Kazuya seemed to take the silence as something wrong as he suddenly started flailing his arms and his face was bright red.
“I-I mean, it’s not bad I suppose it’s something to laugh at! Oh wait no I didn’t mean that I um I-I-I, YOU’RE STUPID!” After his sudden outburst there was more silence. Even the other students in the hallway were silent as they watched the pair curiously. Jin just stared at Kazuya in shock whilst the younger man looked as if someone just ran over his puppy. Further down the hallway Jin could see Tatsuya face palming and Koki repeatedly bashing his head off of the wall.
Having enough of being constantly insulted and hit and having his music ridiculed Jin finally snapped.
“Listen you little brat whatever the hell you think you’re doing it’s not funny and it’s not cute, I’m sick of you and your childishness so just fuck off and don’t come near me again” Jin pushed the younger boy out of the way and stormed down the hallway, ignoring the looks and whispers. When he got to the door however he turned around and was stunned to see Tatsuya hugging Kazuya, the younger man’s shoulders shaking and he was obviously crying. Jin felt a little guilty but he was determined not to play along anymore so he strode out of the door and tried to forget about the bratty little Kamenashi Kazuya.
~
It was another week before he saw Kazuya again, laughing and smiling as per usual. Something was a little off but Jin quickly ignored it, after all he didn’t care about the brat anymore. No, in fact he never cared about the brat.
Once more he was trying to think of lyrics when he saw Kazuya with the same senior from before. This time the younger man was backed against a wall and was looking at the older man in fear. The senior had Kazuya trapped between his arms and also had a leg in between the younger man’s legs. Kazuya was trying his hardest to push the other one away but to no avail.
Eventually Jin got sick of watching and stormed up to the two, he gave the senior no time to react to his presence before he punched the other. The older man fell the ground and glared up at Jin whilst holding his jaw. Jin however ignored him in favour of making sure Kazuya was alright.
“Fucking hell Kamenashi you just piss everyone off don’t you” Too busy staring at the younger man’s flushed face Jin didn’t notice that the senior had gotten up before he felt a punch land on his own jaw. He massaged it, wincing slightly when he felt it click. He was ready to retaliate but before he could Tatsuya had popped out of nowhere and kicked the back of the senior’s knee which made the man fall.
“Don’t mind me, I’m just going to have a nice little chat with him” He gave the pair an angelic smile before dragging the senior off to some quiet little corner so they could properly ‘talk’.
“Thank you” Jin stared at Kazuya in shock, the younger man had his arms crossed protectively in front of his chest and Jin noticed how he was digging his nails into his own arm.
“Why did you do it?” Confused, Kazuya looked at Jin. Realising the younger man didn’t understand Jin sighed before continuing.
“Why do you constantly insult me and mock me and just generally annoy me?” Kazuya’s face turned bright red which surprised Jin, his head forward so now Jin couldn’t see his face.
“I like you” It was barely a whisper but still Jin could hear it. He stared at Kazuya in shock; he really couldn’t understand what was going on.
“Huh!?” Instantly Kazuya began to flail his arms and now Jin could properly see the younger man’s face - it was bright red and Kazuya was properly panicking.
“Hahahahaha! I’m just joking of course I don’t like you, who would like you? You’re fat and ugly and stupid and you look like a monkey. Hahahaha a big hairy monkey!” Jin glared at Kazuya before turning around and walking away. Kazuya meanwhile cursed himself and latched onto Jin’s arm.
“No wait I didn’t mean it, I uh I you’re not a monkey, well I suppose you are but technically everyone else is so you really shouldn’t take offence to it. Besides there’s nothing wrong with monkeys; you know monkeys have a very high IQ, even higher than most humans! Although you wouldn’t really think it since they throw their own poop, uh not that you do that because I’m sure you -” Sick of the rambling Jin backed Kazuya into a wall and when the younger man noticed he was instantly quiet. His face blossomed into a pretty red colour, although whether it was because of embarrassment or lack of breath Jin didn’t know.
Now that it was finally silent Jin wanted to pull back and walk away, but somehow he couldn’t. He just stared at Kazuya and when the younger man licked his lips Jin found his gaze instantly drawn to them. They were so pink and plump and totally kissable - not that he would, after all he wasn’t gay. But the thought was there, but really he was just making an observation. Just because he noticed how kissable Kazuya’s lips were didn’t mean he was gay, and just because he was now slowly descending onto them also didn’t mean he was gay.
Jin had kissed plenty of girls before and kissing Kazuya was nothing like that - the younger man’s lips were soft like a girl’s but there was no lip gloss or whatever else girls used that Jin hated so much. Once he got out of his shock Kazuya began kissing back and Jin noticed his eyes were closed, he nipped on the soft lips trying and failing to gain entrance. It must have only been a few seconds but it felt like an eternity, until Kazuya collapsed against Jin. Kazuya had actually fainted, sure Jin was an awesome kisser but he had never actually made someone faint before.
He still wasn’t gay though.
Of course not dear
Lol anyway comments are ♥
Pairing: Akame
Genre: Humour, romance, fluff
Warning: Swearing, AU
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone mentioned
Summary: Jin really hated Kazuya, he was annoyed and took far too much pleasure in insulting Jin.
AN: Uh yeah I was supposed to write the sequel for Bye Bye Coffee but my inspiration has been blocked, plus migraines mean that I can't really write much >___<
Jin didn’t like him. The kid Tatsuya brought to band practise was rummaging through their things and making stupid little noises. Plus all the others were ogling him like he was a supermodel. And he wasn’t, he really wasn’t. His nose was crooked and his eyes were too narrow and he was stick thin. The kid just wasn’t attractive.
Jin’s chord was interrupted by a loud crash and some cursing. Tatsuya and Koki rushed over to the rubble and helped out the kid from under a huge pile of clothes. Okay so maybe they weren’t the cleanest of people.
“Ow Tat-chan I think I have an STD now” Tatsuya sighed and helped him sit down despite the protests. Jin on the other hand huffed and glared at the boy: he did not have an STD.
“Kame no one here has an STD” A look in Jin’s direction “At least I think” Jin gaped and spluttered out protests but was drowned out by the other’s laughter. Traitors.
“Urgh can we just get back to practise now?” Tatsuya hummed in agreement to Jin and made his way to the bass.
“Huh? That was you actually playing? I thought you were just testing out the chords” Once again Jin was interrupted by the little brat, he was staring smugly at Jin and if it wasn’t for Tatsuya he would’ve killed the brat hours ago.
“Well you guys suck” There was a sharp intake of breath from every single band member before Yamapi burst into laughter. Jin’s grip on the guitar was so tight he was sure it would snap in half soon. All the band members looked at Tatsuya who shrugged and gave them a sheepish smile.
After that disastrous rehearsal the band agreed that Kazuya would never be allowed into band practise again. Tatsuya bit his lip and sent pleading looks at Koki but the other just shrugged and sent another look at Jin. They thought he didn’t see it but he did, and it spiked his curiosity.
~
Jin was working on new lyrics when he saw Kazuya again. He had seen the younger man a few times on campus but he was usually accompanied by Tatsuya or Koki, but now he was with a senior student. Jin raised an eyebrow at the red face and clasped hands. He couldn’t believe he was saying this but the brat looked...cute...
The senior leaned towards Kazuya who turned away and stepped back a little, Jin could almost hear the conversation. The senior student must have been asking Kazuya out but Kazuya, being the spoiled brat he is wouldn’t go out with someone who was too tall, or too short, or too smart or anything other than perfect. The older man walked away and Kazuya followed him with his gaze before turning back around and walking away.
Jin shook his head and went back to writing lyrics, they had a performance that weekend and Jin had to finish these lyrics soon so everyone could learn it.
~
It was the night of their big performance and everyone was a little nervous. It wasn’t the first time they had ever performed but it was the biggest venue they had performed in. But Jin was confident they would kick ass. The place still hadn’t opened up and the band was setting up, the little brat was also there and was laughing about something with Yamapi. Jin felt a wave of jealousy rush over him which he quickly ignored: he was not jealous of that little brat.
Once everyone poured in and they began playing Jin was too distracted to even think about Kazuya. He did however catch the younger man’s eye, and he had a hard time looking away. The brat was actually smiling; the same brat who had told them they sucked was actually enjoying himself. It was a small victory but a victory nonetheless.
He was distracted of course when a thong flew onto the stage and into Ryo’s face. Jin missed a few lines because he was laughing so much at the affronted look on Ryo’s face and the heated glares Tatsuya was sending him. They got back into rhythm soon enough though and got through the performance without any other mistakes.
After that fantastic performance the band decided to buy a few rounds to celebrate, and Jin loved drinking. Everyone else had gone off dancing or whatever so only Jin and Kazuya were left in the booth. And Jin just couldn’t resist.
“Well, well, well Kamenashi who sucks now?” They were so close and Jin bet he could count the eyelashes on the pretty boy’s face.
“You still suck, your lyrics are atrocious and your stage clothes are hideous” Kazuya wasn’t looking at Jin, instead he was watching Koki chatting up some girls. Instead of getting annoyed as he usually would Jin smirked and leaned forward so he was breathing into the younger man’s ear. Kazuya instantly stiffened, his eyes were wide and his face was growing steadily redder.
“Kazu-chan, you don’t need to pretend, I know you liked the show” Jin’s hand began running up Kazuya’s leg, steadily growing closer to his private area. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of you know, I’m hot and no one can resist me~” Kazuya smacked the hand that was now squeezing his thigh. He turned around to face Jin and glare angrily at him.
~
Tatsuya didn’t know what happened, but all of a sudden Jin was on the floor holding his nose and Kazuya was running out of the club. Worriedly he looked at Ryo who nodded and went to see if Jin was alright, Tatsuya on the other hand followed Kazuya.
He found the younger man leaning against the wall, his face was buried in his hands and Tatsuya noticed his legs were shaking. Tatsuya carefully made his way towards Kazuya and surged forward to catch him as his legs finally gave out.
“Kame what the hell happened?” Kazuya just groaned into his hands, he started mumbling but his voice was muffled and Tatsuya couldn’t make anything out. He grabbed Kazuya’s hands and pulled them away from his face before asking again.
“I messed up again, he must hate me now” Tatsuya laughed and hugged his friend friend, Kazuya meanwhile was lightly banging his head against Tatsuya’s shoulder.
“Oh Kame you really can’t handle crushes well, instead of insulting him maybe you should I dunno complement him?” Kazuya stopped banging his head and instead leaned into the older man.
“Everytime I see him I get so nervous and the insults just roll out” Tatsuya just sighed and patted Kazuya’s back. Both he and Koki had been given the whole speech about how amazing Jin was and how creative he was, but no matter how many times Kazuya went on about him in private whenever Jin was there the younger man just spewed out insults. It was a little sad, funny, but sad.
~
Jin hadn’t seen Kazuya in the weeks following the whole punching accident. His friends thought that it was hilarious when he showed up with a black eye and a cast thing on his nose. It wasn’t broken thankfully but the doctor still insisted he wore the hideous thing ‘just in case’. Just in case his ass, the stupid doctor was just a sadist who liked preying on pretty boy musicians. He was obviously jealous of Jin’s awesomeness.
He was surprised, therefore, when the younger man suddenly stepped out of a corner and blocked his way. He started muttering some incomprehensible rubbish, he was looking down and his hair shielded his eyes. So Jin really had no idea what he was saying.
“Huh?” The muttering stopped and Jin could see Kazuya taking a deep breath before looking up and looking straight into Jin’s eyes. He could see the determination in Kazuya’s face and was confused as to what was happening.
“I like your music” There was silence whilst Jin just stared at Kazuya, he was completely baffled. Kazuya seemed to take the silence as something wrong as he suddenly started flailing his arms and his face was bright red.
“I-I mean, it’s not bad I suppose it’s something to laugh at! Oh wait no I didn’t mean that I um I-I-I, YOU’RE STUPID!” After his sudden outburst there was more silence. Even the other students in the hallway were silent as they watched the pair curiously. Jin just stared at Kazuya in shock whilst the younger man looked as if someone just ran over his puppy. Further down the hallway Jin could see Tatsuya face palming and Koki repeatedly bashing his head off of the wall.
Having enough of being constantly insulted and hit and having his music ridiculed Jin finally snapped.
“Listen you little brat whatever the hell you think you’re doing it’s not funny and it’s not cute, I’m sick of you and your childishness so just fuck off and don’t come near me again” Jin pushed the younger boy out of the way and stormed down the hallway, ignoring the looks and whispers. When he got to the door however he turned around and was stunned to see Tatsuya hugging Kazuya, the younger man’s shoulders shaking and he was obviously crying. Jin felt a little guilty but he was determined not to play along anymore so he strode out of the door and tried to forget about the bratty little Kamenashi Kazuya.
~
It was another week before he saw Kazuya again, laughing and smiling as per usual. Something was a little off but Jin quickly ignored it, after all he didn’t care about the brat anymore. No, in fact he never cared about the brat.
Once more he was trying to think of lyrics when he saw Kazuya with the same senior from before. This time the younger man was backed against a wall and was looking at the older man in fear. The senior had Kazuya trapped between his arms and also had a leg in between the younger man’s legs. Kazuya was trying his hardest to push the other one away but to no avail.
Eventually Jin got sick of watching and stormed up to the two, he gave the senior no time to react to his presence before he punched the other. The older man fell the ground and glared up at Jin whilst holding his jaw. Jin however ignored him in favour of making sure Kazuya was alright.
“Fucking hell Kamenashi you just piss everyone off don’t you” Too busy staring at the younger man’s flushed face Jin didn’t notice that the senior had gotten up before he felt a punch land on his own jaw. He massaged it, wincing slightly when he felt it click. He was ready to retaliate but before he could Tatsuya had popped out of nowhere and kicked the back of the senior’s knee which made the man fall.
“Don’t mind me, I’m just going to have a nice little chat with him” He gave the pair an angelic smile before dragging the senior off to some quiet little corner so they could properly ‘talk’.
“Thank you” Jin stared at Kazuya in shock, the younger man had his arms crossed protectively in front of his chest and Jin noticed how he was digging his nails into his own arm.
“Why did you do it?” Confused, Kazuya looked at Jin. Realising the younger man didn’t understand Jin sighed before continuing.
“Why do you constantly insult me and mock me and just generally annoy me?” Kazuya’s face turned bright red which surprised Jin, his head forward so now Jin couldn’t see his face.
“I like you” It was barely a whisper but still Jin could hear it. He stared at Kazuya in shock; he really couldn’t understand what was going on.
“Huh!?” Instantly Kazuya began to flail his arms and now Jin could properly see the younger man’s face - it was bright red and Kazuya was properly panicking.
“Hahahahaha! I’m just joking of course I don’t like you, who would like you? You’re fat and ugly and stupid and you look like a monkey. Hahahaha a big hairy monkey!” Jin glared at Kazuya before turning around and walking away. Kazuya meanwhile cursed himself and latched onto Jin’s arm.
“No wait I didn’t mean it, I uh I you’re not a monkey, well I suppose you are but technically everyone else is so you really shouldn’t take offence to it. Besides there’s nothing wrong with monkeys; you know monkeys have a very high IQ, even higher than most humans! Although you wouldn’t really think it since they throw their own poop, uh not that you do that because I’m sure you -” Sick of the rambling Jin backed Kazuya into a wall and when the younger man noticed he was instantly quiet. His face blossomed into a pretty red colour, although whether it was because of embarrassment or lack of breath Jin didn’t know.
Now that it was finally silent Jin wanted to pull back and walk away, but somehow he couldn’t. He just stared at Kazuya and when the younger man licked his lips Jin found his gaze instantly drawn to them. They were so pink and plump and totally kissable - not that he would, after all he wasn’t gay. But the thought was there, but really he was just making an observation. Just because he noticed how kissable Kazuya’s lips were didn’t mean he was gay, and just because he was now slowly descending onto them also didn’t mean he was gay.
Jin had kissed plenty of girls before and kissing Kazuya was nothing like that - the younger man’s lips were soft like a girl’s but there was no lip gloss or whatever else girls used that Jin hated so much. Once he got out of his shock Kazuya began kissing back and Jin noticed his eyes were closed, he nipped on the soft lips trying and failing to gain entrance. It must have only been a few seconds but it felt like an eternity, until Kazuya collapsed against Jin. Kazuya had actually fainted, sure Jin was an awesome kisser but he had never actually made someone faint before.
He still wasn’t gay though.
Of course not dear
Lol anyway comments are ♥