[woogyu] one thousand
One Thousand
Woohyun/Sunggyu
warnings for: drug use, dark themes and general amateur writing
Rating: PG-13
(this is not beta-ed so i apologize in advance for errors throughout the story)
word count: 5,784
when the fights increased and the shouting became louder, they knew something was wrong - something was not functioning well - a major fuse was on the near verge of breaking. they realized that one sunday morning when the both of them woke up lost amongst the mess of an apartment they had created. something sharp had been stinging woohyun’s elbow and when he looked to see what had caused his skin to break there, a cracked photo frame of him and sunggyu from their vacation in the alps two years ago smiled up at him, gleaming in the weak sunlight as though to remind him what they were like before.
sunggyu greets him cheerfully from the kitchen as he’s bent over the coffee machine, fixing them a dose of caffeine each. “i woke up earlier today to go buy some ground coffee,” the older tells woohyun, his tone light and cheery. “i thought you might like some to help wake you up a little.” sunggyu turns to woohyun and smiles at him, his eyes disappearing in beautiful crescent shapes.
shaken mostly by sunggyu’s seemingly indifferent behaviour, woohyun sits at the kitchen table and watches him. he doesn’t say a word. his lover fills in the unbearably long gap of silence as he brings their coffees to the table and pulls a chair next to woohyun’s.
“i think we need to do something about the wallpaper in our bedroom,” he says, “it’s been a chipped in places and some of it is starting to come off; i think the glue must of been really bad. do you think we should get the walls painted instead?” woohyun remains silent so sunggyu continues, licking at his lips as his hands wrap around the coffee mug. “and the sofa in the living room too. white leather’s really not that nice considering how easy it is for it to get dirty. and remember that cat sungjong bought for us a while ago?” the phrase on our anniversary hung in the air - “it pawed and scratched at it. let’s go out today and check some new stuff. we could-“
“i need a break,” woohyun whispers and he notices just how raspy and struggled his voice is.
the older boy does not say anything. his eyes leave woohyun’s profile and wonder down to look at the frothy coffee that smelled delicious but his taste buds seemed to recall nothing but bitterness. sunggyu’s knuckles turn white as his hands hold on tighter and he ignores the throbbing pain developing in his palms from the heat. he thinks he’s about to cry but he doesn’t. somehow, even tears forgot how to leave his eyes. so he says nothing because his throat is blocked with so many things he wants to say and his mind had turned blank or maybe there were too many thoughts to actually hear any clearly. woohyun’s chair scrapes against the ground as he pulls away from the table.
in the background, woohyun moves back and forth - to adjust a crooked lamp back on a desk, to pick up some glass and mirror pieces - but sunggyu doesn’t turn around to watch him. the noise feels distant, just like woohyun. sunggyu thinks that even if he were to reach out to his lover, he wouldn’t be able to grasp him and hold him. his arms feel empty, his heart disarranged. the footsteps stopped all together and they were replaced by the gentle opening and closing of drawers and wardrobe doors. a while later, woohyun zips his suitcase closed.
the younger boy walks back to the kitchen and hovers at a distance behind sunggyu as though afraid to be near him or touch him.
“i...” woohyun clears his throat. “i’ll just be away - only for a little. i promise. and, uh...” his voice trails off and sunggyu thinks he sounds very unsure and he really hopes woohyun is unsure because sunggyu feels helpless. “i’ll come back to you - don’t i always? gyu... i-i’ll go now and-yeah. i’ll go.” he clears his throat again but sunggyu’s body does not react to his mind’s turn around. turn around and look at him. stop him. plead him. beg him. “you take care, g-gyu? okay?”
sunggyu is still on his seat as the front door opens and closes. he sits still for he does not know what to do from there on or which direction he should take.
woohyun never left. the thought of leaving never ever even crossed woohyun’s mind. but here he was sunggyu all alone in their apartment with nothing but a bitter taste, a blank mind and it seemed as though the whole weight of the world had fallen on his shoulders. sunggyu isn’t devastated, he thinks, because it all happened so quickly he could barely even register it all; hell, he could even still feel woohyun’s presence lingering around him.
there’s a pack of origami papers sitting on the desk; dongwoo’s present to the two and his it’s fun! but really, save the papers for a time when you need those most to fold and make a wish rings in sunggyu’s head.
and so, sunggyu sits at the coffee table and he begins folding.
one origami for every day he misses woohyun.
∞
day 7- the day sunggyu begins wishing
woohyun did not call. woohyun did not text. woohyun did not come.
so sunggyu sits and folds one or two or three origami papers per day; sometimes, he’d get carried away by memories, drifting away on that lonely ocean of used to be’s - his paper would then either be dotted with tears he wouldn’t even realize were falling or he’d ruin the origami and start all over again.
his attempts at distracting himself are futile and sunggyu is more than sure that his only motivation to pull out of bed when the sun rises again as though it tried washing away the pain of yesterday is his origami folding.
bring him back, he wishes, bring him back bring him back bring him back.
day 25- the day sunggyu realizes he’s a bad person
“you’re a downright mess, hyung,” howon points out as he kicks at sunggyu’s leg. his hyung does not reply. howon snaps his fingers in front of sunggyu’s eyes. “hey, are you even listening to me?”
woohyun did not call. woohyun did not next. woohyun did not come back. nine hundred and seventy five days until he’d be back, sunggyu reminds himself, just nine hundred and seventy five days...
he blinks his eyes to rid himself of the tears that seemed to line them on a day to day basis. sunggyu focuses his vision on howon. “am i a bad person?” he asks.
howon seems taken by surprise. “no - hyung - what?”
sunggyu licks at his dry lips. they hurt a lot, he realizes, and they’re chapped. “i am a bad person, howon. i’m a very bad person. and a very bad companion, i know it.”
the younger male sighs and pats sunggyu’s shoulder. “you’re not, hyung. you’re not. it’s just... there was an abrupt change to events. that’s all.” he pushes the tea towards sunggyu. “you’re not a bad person.”
sunggyu thinks his eyes are losing focus again. “so then - woohyun... why did he-“ sunggyu chokes because he cannot bring himself to say that word. he hates heartbreaking words like left and over. he clears his throat and focuses back on the completed origami in his hands. they seemed frail. “how’s dongwoo?” he asks lightly.
howon looks left and right and then back at sunggyu, unsure of whether he should tell his hyung that dongwoo had bought them their own little place somewhere close by. he thinks he shouldn’t so howon simply says that they’re okay. sunggyu nods absentmindedly. to howon, his hyung that was once a nagger and terribly fun to have around had changed into someone that lacked soul. howon wondered really if sunggyu could even remember much of what happiness is and whether he’s aware of the concept of letting go. howon pats sunggyu’s shoulder again.
“he’ll come back,” he assures the older boy. “just give it a little more.”
nine hundred and seventy five days.
but when howon goes because of a call from dongwoo, sunggyu smiles tiredly. he is a bad person. because a good person wouldn’t let the one they love to walk away just like that. sunggyu isn’t a good person. sunggyu thinks he’s the worst example of a human being in the world.
fresh tears trickle down his cheeks again. sunggyu starts folding another origami - thirty six down, nine hundred and sixty four left.
day 56- the day sunggyu leaves the bedroom
sunggyu tries to remember them. he tries really hard but all those beautiful memories get obscured by the escalating fights. he tries to remember but all he can recall is how awful he had been to woohyun whenever he suspected him of cheating.
he recalled the younger stepping in tipsily in their apartment at ungodly hours of the night and he especially remembered how much he would be on woohyun’s case, not letting him rest or help him settled back in bed or even aid to his hangover the following morning. sunggyu thinks woohyun would stay out late at parties because sunggyu was starting to become out of his league; woohyun was a good person, sunggyu thought, and he needed someone equally good to be with him. sunggyu tried to overlook woohyun’s venturing off in other people’s arms or beds or cars - he blamed himself. he was the one that always came home late from work. he was the one that pushed woohyun off because he was busy. he was the one that did not call him enough or text him or check to see he, too, was doing okay. it was all sunggyu’s fault.
bad sunggyu, he scolded himself.
eighty three completed origami rested on the bed he and woohyun once shared. sunggyu looked at them with saddened, tired eyes before turning off the light in the room. for the rest of the nine hundred and forty four days, he will sleep in the living room. just in case.
day 100- the day infinite go on hiatus
infinite announces their hiatus for an indefinite period of time.
fans cry at their closing stage and they chant woohyun’s name, most (if not all) hoping that the other main vocalist would just pop up on stage and dance and sing along. but woohyun doesn’t come on stage and nor is there any news of his whereabouts as the remaining six members of infinite hug tearfully backstage when it’s all over.
sunggyu thinks the weight he’s been holding on his shoulders crashed and now he’s drowning in its ashes. he politely declines the other members’ invitations to come out with them for dinner.
sunggyu heads home. he has to fold origami. he has to wish for woohyun. he has to remember them.
day 136- the day sunggyu thought the pill would bring him back
the first pill brings sunggyu a night lacking dreams.
the second has him sleeping throughout the whole night and most of the day.
the third and forth one make sunggyu irritated because the pain is still present.
with the fifth one, his mouth goes really dry. fuck it; he needs a drink of something strong.
sunggyu shatters like that, bit by bit.
the seventh (or was it the eight?) pill did not bring him back.
day 200- the day sunggyu meets delusion
the arms that were holding him felt strangely familiar. the lips that were pressed against his neck felt strangely warm. the hands that roamed his half naked body felt as though they always belonged there.
sunggyu kisses back sloppily and for the first time since those hands and lips attacked him, he opens his eyes. jet black hair, ivory skin and a clean silken suit welcome his sight and the male thinks his tears are tears of joy. he thinks the heavens are shining down upon him; how was it possible that such a familiar sight was back in his life? he still had one hundred origami papers to fold. maybe he wasn’t a bad person. and maybe his wish-
the person looks up and sunggyu’s heart crumbles into dust.
it’s not him.
but sunggyu allows the stranger to fuck him anyway because he looks and feels like woohyun. sunggyu wants to know what it feels like to mistake the one you love so dearly for someone else and go all the way.
sunggyu just wants to feel.
day 365- the day sunggyu finishes the origami
they’re a picturesque sight on his bed, all one thousand folded origami. they’re all adjusted to look up at him as though assuring them with their faceless faces that they’re working on granting their wish. he did as the legend told. sunggyu had been good and he’d been busily folding them for one year.
the door to the room opened and sungyeol poked his head in.
“hyung, we’re opening the champagne,” he announced with a soft voice, softer than sunggyu recalled it to be. “come join us.”
sunggyu looks back and nods, giving his dongsaeng a smile because sunggyu is tired of being looked after. he doesn’t want to become more of a burden than he already is.
“i’ll be there,” he tells sungyeol.
the younger nods, smiles and steps back, softly closing the door. they all know sunggyu would not be there. sunggyu was not really there ever since woohyun left.
day 404- the day sunggyu celebrated his birthday
“happy birthday, nam woohyun,” he whispered as he knelt in front of the small chocolate birthday cake he set up on the table.
as sunggyu blew the candle that was meant to be woohyun’s job to do in that very moment, he realized that he never felt more lonely.
day 483- the day sunggyu turns twenty four
“happy birthday, sunggyu hyung!”
there’s several pops as corks are being removed simultaneously from two champagne bottles held by dongwoo and howon whilst confetti rains over a rather surprised sunggyu as sungjong, myungsoo and sungyeol throw it towards him from all directions.
“you’re becoming old, old man!” sungyeol laughs as he hugs him after handing him a nicely wrapped gift.
“i am, aren’t i?” sunggyu laughs as he returns the hug.
“it’s your special day, hyung!” sungjong says in a singsong voice and he waltzes towards him with a cake and a lit candle in the shape of the numbers 25. “make a wish!” he encourages.
sunggyu nods, more enthusiastically than ever. every chance to make wishes, sunggyu takes them. bring him back to me. please bring him back to me, he wishes very hard with his eyes squeezed shut before blowing out the candles.
the members of infinite make sunggyu’s party as enjoyable as possible and they drag him from one conversation to another because no one wants him to think. sunggyu is thankful for having them as friends. he’s thankful for sungyeol and dongwoo’s antics; he’s thankful for sungjong’s affectionate clinging; he’s thankful for howon’s support; he’s thankful for myungsoo’s deliberate teasing. it’s just that sunggyu wishes he would find the strength to find time for his friends more.
he has time. but all of his time was spent folding paper origami or walking around town in every single place he and woohyun used to frequent just in case he would catch sight of the boy. sunggyu came to realize that his only scope in this miserable life of his would be to find woohyun.
day 643- the day infinite grew a year older
sunggyu walked in the dance room and every head turned in his direction. a few of the people stood up, surprised, but sungjong was the first to rush over to hug sunggyu. the infinite leader had been missing for more than enough, ever since his birthday when they had seen him last, and the passing time brought changes with it.
sungjong noted that sunggyu had grown thinner and much paler, all the result of the lack of sleep he had been getting as well as the unbalanced meals he probably ate during the course of the past few weeks.
he’d been travelling back and forth from city to city and even flew out of the country once or twice just to try and get a break. to run away, sunggyu tormented. nothing had changed in his heart. the storm was still there but he hosted it like a dear friend for it was the only form of company he had on the many nights he spent alone. his heart was still owned by woohyun but sunggyu couldn’t even feel its beats at times; he was sure woohyun had stolen it the moment he walked out of the door.
“it’s good to see you, sunggyu-ya,” their manager said, pulling sunggyu to sit down.
it was infinite’s third year anniversary. presents from fans were placed neatly on the large table in the middle of the room. letters carrying the repetitive messages of oppa, i miss you and please come back were present in every one of them.
they sat and talked about the past few years spent together as a band. they talked about the fun memories during pre-debut as well as post-debut. they talked about the tearful moments and the soothing they brought each other. they talked about anything and everything infinite related. one thing was missing from the discussion: nam woohyun.
then, as they were on the point of blowing the candles for the surprise cake, a phone went off. hyoan-hyung checked the caller ID - his eyes flicked to sunggyu quickly but before he could look away, the boy had caught his eyes. and he knew just who had called. sunggyu snatched the phone, holding on to it with both hands as though it was his life source.
“hyung,” the familiar voice came through.
sunggyu wanted to speak, wanted to let woohyun know that he was there, he was waiting. but he didn’t. he wanted to hear him speak. he wanted to be reminded of the voice he had fallen in love with.
“hyung, could you tell the members they’re in my heart? tell them - tell them i’m okay. i’m doing fine and-“
“w-woohyun...” sunggyu mumbled.
no response. sunggyu dared take the device away from his ear just to see if he was still on the line. he was. so he spoke again.
“i-we, uh, we miss you. a lot. and. i-we want you back. quickly.”
“...oh.”
sunggyu licked at his now dry lips, ignoring the eyes that were locked on him as he stood, frozen on the spot, clinging to a mobile phone.
“you can... just... infinite needs you and-and it’s okay... you don’t have to come to me. just come to us. back to us.” sunggyu’s eyes fluttered, preventing the tears. “please. please.”
“i-i know. hyung... i need some-hyung, i’ve gotta go and i miss-uh, bye.” and he hung up.
if sunggyu thought he had not been functioning well at all without woohyun, hearing the younger boy’s voice after so long confirmed it for him.
day 900- the day sunggyu remembered
it was a little past four o’clock in the morning when sunggyu was stirred awake from his light sleep. he heard the jingling of keys, the footsteps around the apartment and finally, a light was turned on in the living room. he pulled out from his bed but sunggyu couldn’t figure if he was deeply angry or deeply upset. but he was keen on confronting him. because sunggyu was sick of having some other guy’s perfume rubbing off on him whenever woohyun hugged him to sleep and he was sick of feeling like a second option.
“where were you?” sunggyu demanding with a sleepy but firm tone of voice. he stood in the doorway of their shared bedroom, arms crossed and eyes narrowed in on woohyun.
“out,” the boy replied. “hyung, not now...” he groaned, “seriously, i’m just so tired and-“
“no, woohyun! now. i want to talk now. in this very moment.” sunggyu closed the door to their bedroom, stepping further into the living room. “you’re not sleeping until you tell me what-“
“please,” woohyun begged and he groaned, stomping his feet and approaching sunggyu with open arms. there was that waft of different cologne again. sunggyu thought he was being to feel nauseous. “gyu-oh.” the younger boy took a step back as sunggyu pushed his embrace away.
“please,” sunggyu sighed and closed his eyes whilst pinching the bridge of his nose. “i’m tired-“
“you’re tired?”
“yes. i’m tired of waking up to you coming home at this time. without me. i’m tired of smelling like some other guys and i’m tired of kissing lips that mistook unfamiliar lips to be mine. i’m tired. i can’t cope anymore, woohyun and-“
“you can’t cope?” woohyun hissed. “and you think i can? you think i’m okay with being pushed away all the time?”
“i don’t push you away all the time-“
“you do! i’m tired of feeling like an escape only when you’re stressed-“
sunggyu stepped forward. “isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? isn’t the one you love supposed to help you through good and through bad?”
woohyun narrowed his eyes. “it’s always been bad for you these past few months.”
something inside sunggyu cracked. “i... i don’t do it on purpose and... woohyun. when did this start?” he raised his tone just by a little but sunggyu’s voice echoed in his head. “when? because i can’t seem to remember the smell of your perfume... i can’t-we haven’t even slept in weeks.”
“oh!”woohyun gasped, releasing a humourless laugh. “is that what it was? you were lacking sex? is that what you really want?” he huffed. “well fine! if that’s what you fucking want, sunggyu, then you should of said so.”
woohyun lunged forward, pinning sunggyu to the door behind him, ignoring the loud thump and the way sunggyu winced in pain. he kissed sunggyu, the action bruising and rough and anything but the woohyun he knew. sunggyu struggled. it wasn’t what he wanted, of course it wasn’t. he didn’t want woohyun to roam his body so roughly and he didn’t want woohyun to nip at his neck like that. sunggyu wanted to protest, he wanted to tell woohyun that it wasn’t what he wanted; he just wanted him -- nam woohyun that loved him and only him.
sunggyu gathered all his strength in his arms and pushed woohyun away. the younger stumbled much further back, knocking down a lamp and the room was even dimmer than before. terrified that he had damaged woohyun (because the smallest pain woohyun suffered, be it physical or emotional, it killed sunggyu) but his intended helpful hands were smacked away by woohyun.
“i-“ sunggyu coughed through tears, “i’m-i’m so sorry, i didn’t-“
“don’t touch me,” woohyun spat. sunggyu tried to think none of it; woohyun was drunk, he didn’t mean it, sunggyu chanted to himself. “i don’t-just, get away from me, sunggyu-“
“no! i-i hurt you. come, i’ll-i’ll help you up and-“
“what don’t you understand?” woohyun threw back. “don’t. touch. me. i’m tired, sunggyu. i’m so tired.”
his vision was blurred by tears. “and... and i’m not? am i... am i not allowed to feel important? to be tired? to be loved by-forget it.” sunggyu pulled up. “forget you.”
it went downhill from there. one venomous retort led to another; one broken mirror led to another crushed photo. one too sensitive of a word used carelessly led to more tears, more shouting, more heartbreak, more distance. woohyun did not back down and sunggyu did not back down. none had the time to calculate their words; none took their time to speak words that would not cut as deeply.
“i don’t want this anymore!” woohyun declared at last, out of breath.
sunggyu froze. time stopped. so did his heart. “w-what...”
woohyun, too, seemed to have caught on to his words. his eyes widened and his shoulders shook. he swallowed and looked right at sunggyu. the younger thought he could hear the sound of his heart shaking, crumbling as tear after tear slithered down his hyung’s cheeks. sunggyu looked lost, out of place and frail in the midst of their disaster. they were a disaster.
“i didn’t...” woohyun began, taking gentle steps towards sunggyu but the older walked further away from him.
sunggyu did not speak, his eyes watched woohyun but slowly, they trailed away. look at me, woohyun wanted to say, just...please look at me but sunggyu had long since made a quick disappearance from the living room and barricaded himself in the bathroom, the closest escape he could make.
day 990- the day sunggyu gives up
sunggyu had stopped counting when far too many days passed since he had completed the one thousand origami. the bed he once shared with woohyun was still host to the paper figures but sunggyu had since ceased to step foot in the room. he was convinced that wishes did not come true. hell, sunggyu thought he should just as well go in there and tear it all apart.
he was tired of sleeping in the living room on that small sofa, as though he could hear a set of keys jangling in the dead of the night - it did not happen.
he was tired of wishing for woohyun to come back. he couldn’t keep wasting wishes on something that now seemed too impossible to achieve - things that would no longer happen.
he was tired of being the anchor that halted everyone’s dreams because he was a lame excuse for a leader. sunggyu thought that he had long since reached his tipping point but he could at least survive the fall for the people that cared. people that were still there.
he picked up his phone on a monday morning and texted all of his members, all of the staff, all of the managers.
we’re coming back. infinite will be stronger than ever.
day 999- the day infinite came back
the fan club and the media exploded when infinite announced their comeback. somehow, in less than two weeks, the members managed to get back to the way their teamwork functioned and managed to film a highly awaited video, recording a full length album and getting another one of their famous synchronized dances in check.
they were infinite, after all.
backstage at music bank, everyone was running back and forth checking microphones, stage costumes and makeup. sunggyu buzzed with adrenaline and he thought this was it-he could at least sell what was left of his heart to music. he could just become a workaholic; not like he had not been one for the past few days. he ran back and forth, from one corner of the dressing room to the other, making sure his members were all set and they were ready.
“it feels like we’re back to the days when we debuted,” howon said with a light chuckle. “it feels good.”
“yeah,” sunggyu said as he looked out towards the other four members. “we’re good.”
howon gave sunggyu’s shoulders a squeeze. “thank you, hyung.”
“you all deserve to be back on stage and-“
“no,” howon shook his head, “thank you for coming back to us. we missed our leader.”
“infinite, get ready! you’re going out in three!”
they were all huddled together in a tight circle and sunggyu felt like he was partly taken out of a basin full of ice and dropped into a much warmer, more welcoming one. with a fighting! called out, the members jogged towards the stage.
sunggyu wondered if even the music erupting from the speakers would be loud enough to match the exhilarating yells and cheers of their fans. but the yelling increased as the chorus was being sung but oddly enough, sunggyu couldn’t hear his voice in his ear piece. he looked worryingly towards the microphone and he could swear his legs were about to give up any second now.
a hand wrapped around his waist, supporting him.
a figure appeared next to him, looking out towards the crowd.
more screams, more cheering and the collective chanting of nam woohyun nam woohyun nam woohyun echoed in his ears.
sunggyu felt dizzy. he would only let woohyun hold him just because he didn’t want to be an embarrassing leader and just collapse there. he’d give that bastard a piece of his mind backstage.
day 1000- the day sunggyu’s wish came true
sunggyu had the lock of his apartment changed and a new set of keys delivered to him. sunggyu also made sure he had shut off his phone during free time and he made sure to always surround himself with people so he won’t be alone, like a lost puppy that would make him accessible and free to talk to.
it was midnight when sunggyu was disturbed from reading his book for the nth time - he had lost track of how many times he knocked on his door and he lost track of how many messages and phone calls he left on his phone at pretty much any hour of the day or the night. sunggyu wondered if that idiot did not realize there were other people living in the apartment complex and being woken up by the mewling of gyu, please, i want to talk would be quite annoying.
after realizing he would not make it past the first line of murakami’s “norwegian wood”, sunggyu stalked off to the door and threw open the door.
“what.”
“i’m not being allowed in my own house. you do realize i can call the authorities, right?”
sunggyu crossed his arms, arching an eyebrow. “oh! your house? if i were you, i’d take that back. now.”
woohyun copied sunggyu’s stance. “make me.”
“just get out, nam woohyun. i’m busy.”
woohyun looked over sunggyu’s shoulder. “doesn’t seem like it to me.” he looked back at the older boy. “it doesn’t seem like you have guests over.”
“and what if i do?” sunggyu challenged.
“you wouldn’t.”
sunggyu was about to close the door on him. he really was about to until the younger fought against the closing door and in the midst of all the shouting and pushing back and forth, woohyun had managed to slip through the door and inside the apartment.
woohyun did not give sunggyu any time to breathe. he pressed against the older man with force, and slammed his lips upon sunggyu’s, savouring him, devouring him and pulling out each and every ounce of that feeling of emptiness that consumed him whilst away only to convert it to lust. sunggyu fought against him, struggled to push the boy away and struggled to impose his point that he did not want to kiss him but the bigger force of attraction that had not faltered took over and soon, sunggyu’s knees grew weak as woohyun’s hands trailed the waistband of his jeans.
“where’s-where’s the guest-“ woohyun murmured through kisses he peppered along sunggyu’s neck.
sunggyu held back a moan, closing his eyes and biting the corner of his lips. “right-right here.”
woohyun snickered and placed his hands behind sunggyu’s thighs, forcing the older boy to wrap his legs around woohyun’s legs.
they could talk about it properly in the morning.
∞
“get a damn room,” sungyeol muttered, throwing a pillow at woohyun’s head.
“you’re intruding our apartment and telling us to get a room? tsk.”
“some of us are trying to watch tv, not woogyu live pornography.”
sunggyu burst into a struggled laugh as he tried to pry woohyun’s hands off his torso but they did not budge.
it had been half a year since woohyun had returned and settled all of his scores. he had publicly apologized for going missing for too much and he had also apologized on a near day to day basis to anyone that would pretty much listen until their ceo threatened him with being kicked out of the band and slammed the door to his office shut right in front of woohyun’s face.
of course, it had still taken a while for sunggyu to accept woohyun back in his life and when the other members collectively attacked woohyun (“it’s teamwork, hyung!” sungyeol fought back when sunggyu told them to drop it, “it’s better we’re all synchronized so he can actually get a piece of our mind!”) with their storytelling of how much sunggyu had struggled and how he was even hospitalized once, woohyun would not stop crying. woohyun had explained himself to sunggyu as many times as the boy would listen until sunggyu, too, threatened to kick woohyun out of the apartment.
“but not out of your life right?” woohyun would grin and rub himself (what an odd habit he had gained...) against sunggyu when they sat to watch tv.
sunggyu looked at him with the corner of his eyes. “that would be the first place you’re out of.”
woohyun pouted. sunggyu really wanted to punch him.
but they were infinite. and infinite functioned because they made a promise to their fans and to themselves. infinite went strong together- from smaller awards from music shows until their very first daesang which happened to have been won by the seven boys right on their fifth year anniversary.
as he watched them celebrate, sunggyu thought that it was in that moment in his life that he had everything he could ever wish for. the bad memories remained but, he reckoned, could be blurred out by better ones that were soon to come.
woohyun, that grease of a brat that had no knowledge of personal space, snaked his arms around sunggyu’s waist and kissed his neck.
“we’re good,” he whispered against the hot skin of his hyung’s neck.
“we’re infinite,” sunggyu corrected him.
“his grease rubbed off on you, hyung, ew,” sungjong commented as he came in the room with his hands full of bags.
“think you can fold one thousand origami and make a wish of having his behaviour regulated?” woohyun asked.
sunggyu rolled his eyes. “making wishes is tiring. you try folding one thousand origami! see how you feel then!”
not even five minutes after greeting their families that joined their festivities and sunggyu found himself in the darkest of rooms with woohyun knelt in front of him.
the next day, sunggyu woke up to the infinite fan cafe bursting with activity under a thread titled “woogyu ship did not sink!”.
Author's Note: there went nothing! it was going to be an angst filled ending but really, the more i re-read through it and the more i wrote each bit, i couldn't bring myself because woogyu safkhdsjfdshfs ;; This is dedicated to my dear WooGyu parter in crime, Silvia, who absolutely can't stand those two being apart. 8D ♥
Woohyun/Sunggyu
warnings for: drug use, dark themes and general amateur writing
Rating: PG-13
(this is not beta-ed so i apologize in advance for errors throughout the story)
word count: 5,784
when the fights increased and the shouting became louder, they knew something was wrong - something was not functioning well - a major fuse was on the near verge of breaking. they realized that one sunday morning when the both of them woke up lost amongst the mess of an apartment they had created. something sharp had been stinging woohyun’s elbow and when he looked to see what had caused his skin to break there, a cracked photo frame of him and sunggyu from their vacation in the alps two years ago smiled up at him, gleaming in the weak sunlight as though to remind him what they were like before.
sunggyu greets him cheerfully from the kitchen as he’s bent over the coffee machine, fixing them a dose of caffeine each. “i woke up earlier today to go buy some ground coffee,” the older tells woohyun, his tone light and cheery. “i thought you might like some to help wake you up a little.” sunggyu turns to woohyun and smiles at him, his eyes disappearing in beautiful crescent shapes.
shaken mostly by sunggyu’s seemingly indifferent behaviour, woohyun sits at the kitchen table and watches him. he doesn’t say a word. his lover fills in the unbearably long gap of silence as he brings their coffees to the table and pulls a chair next to woohyun’s.
“i think we need to do something about the wallpaper in our bedroom,” he says, “it’s been a chipped in places and some of it is starting to come off; i think the glue must of been really bad. do you think we should get the walls painted instead?” woohyun remains silent so sunggyu continues, licking at his lips as his hands wrap around the coffee mug. “and the sofa in the living room too. white leather’s really not that nice considering how easy it is for it to get dirty. and remember that cat sungjong bought for us a while ago?” the phrase on our anniversary hung in the air - “it pawed and scratched at it. let’s go out today and check some new stuff. we could-“
“i need a break,” woohyun whispers and he notices just how raspy and struggled his voice is.
the older boy does not say anything. his eyes leave woohyun’s profile and wonder down to look at the frothy coffee that smelled delicious but his taste buds seemed to recall nothing but bitterness. sunggyu’s knuckles turn white as his hands hold on tighter and he ignores the throbbing pain developing in his palms from the heat. he thinks he’s about to cry but he doesn’t. somehow, even tears forgot how to leave his eyes. so he says nothing because his throat is blocked with so many things he wants to say and his mind had turned blank or maybe there were too many thoughts to actually hear any clearly. woohyun’s chair scrapes against the ground as he pulls away from the table.
in the background, woohyun moves back and forth - to adjust a crooked lamp back on a desk, to pick up some glass and mirror pieces - but sunggyu doesn’t turn around to watch him. the noise feels distant, just like woohyun. sunggyu thinks that even if he were to reach out to his lover, he wouldn’t be able to grasp him and hold him. his arms feel empty, his heart disarranged. the footsteps stopped all together and they were replaced by the gentle opening and closing of drawers and wardrobe doors. a while later, woohyun zips his suitcase closed.
the younger boy walks back to the kitchen and hovers at a distance behind sunggyu as though afraid to be near him or touch him.
“i...” woohyun clears his throat. “i’ll just be away - only for a little. i promise. and, uh...” his voice trails off and sunggyu thinks he sounds very unsure and he really hopes woohyun is unsure because sunggyu feels helpless. “i’ll come back to you - don’t i always? gyu... i-i’ll go now and-yeah. i’ll go.” he clears his throat again but sunggyu’s body does not react to his mind’s turn around. turn around and look at him. stop him. plead him. beg him. “you take care, g-gyu? okay?”
sunggyu is still on his seat as the front door opens and closes. he sits still for he does not know what to do from there on or which direction he should take.
woohyun never left. the thought of leaving never ever even crossed woohyun’s mind. but here he was sunggyu all alone in their apartment with nothing but a bitter taste, a blank mind and it seemed as though the whole weight of the world had fallen on his shoulders. sunggyu isn’t devastated, he thinks, because it all happened so quickly he could barely even register it all; hell, he could even still feel woohyun’s presence lingering around him.
there’s a pack of origami papers sitting on the desk; dongwoo’s present to the two and his it’s fun! but really, save the papers for a time when you need those most to fold and make a wish rings in sunggyu’s head.
and so, sunggyu sits at the coffee table and he begins folding.
one origami for every day he misses woohyun.
∞
day 7- the day sunggyu begins wishing
woohyun did not call. woohyun did not text. woohyun did not come.
so sunggyu sits and folds one or two or three origami papers per day; sometimes, he’d get carried away by memories, drifting away on that lonely ocean of used to be’s - his paper would then either be dotted with tears he wouldn’t even realize were falling or he’d ruin the origami and start all over again.
his attempts at distracting himself are futile and sunggyu is more than sure that his only motivation to pull out of bed when the sun rises again as though it tried washing away the pain of yesterday is his origami folding.
bring him back, he wishes, bring him back bring him back bring him back.
day 25- the day sunggyu realizes he’s a bad person
“you’re a downright mess, hyung,” howon points out as he kicks at sunggyu’s leg. his hyung does not reply. howon snaps his fingers in front of sunggyu’s eyes. “hey, are you even listening to me?”
woohyun did not call. woohyun did not next. woohyun did not come back. nine hundred and seventy five days until he’d be back, sunggyu reminds himself, just nine hundred and seventy five days...
he blinks his eyes to rid himself of the tears that seemed to line them on a day to day basis. sunggyu focuses his vision on howon. “am i a bad person?” he asks.
howon seems taken by surprise. “no - hyung - what?”
sunggyu licks at his dry lips. they hurt a lot, he realizes, and they’re chapped. “i am a bad person, howon. i’m a very bad person. and a very bad companion, i know it.”
the younger male sighs and pats sunggyu’s shoulder. “you’re not, hyung. you’re not. it’s just... there was an abrupt change to events. that’s all.” he pushes the tea towards sunggyu. “you’re not a bad person.”
sunggyu thinks his eyes are losing focus again. “so then - woohyun... why did he-“ sunggyu chokes because he cannot bring himself to say that word. he hates heartbreaking words like left and over. he clears his throat and focuses back on the completed origami in his hands. they seemed frail. “how’s dongwoo?” he asks lightly.
howon looks left and right and then back at sunggyu, unsure of whether he should tell his hyung that dongwoo had bought them their own little place somewhere close by. he thinks he shouldn’t so howon simply says that they’re okay. sunggyu nods absentmindedly. to howon, his hyung that was once a nagger and terribly fun to have around had changed into someone that lacked soul. howon wondered really if sunggyu could even remember much of what happiness is and whether he’s aware of the concept of letting go. howon pats sunggyu’s shoulder again.
“he’ll come back,” he assures the older boy. “just give it a little more.”
nine hundred and seventy five days.
but when howon goes because of a call from dongwoo, sunggyu smiles tiredly. he is a bad person. because a good person wouldn’t let the one they love to walk away just like that. sunggyu isn’t a good person. sunggyu thinks he’s the worst example of a human being in the world.
fresh tears trickle down his cheeks again. sunggyu starts folding another origami - thirty six down, nine hundred and sixty four left.
day 56- the day sunggyu leaves the bedroom
sunggyu tries to remember them. he tries really hard but all those beautiful memories get obscured by the escalating fights. he tries to remember but all he can recall is how awful he had been to woohyun whenever he suspected him of cheating.
he recalled the younger stepping in tipsily in their apartment at ungodly hours of the night and he especially remembered how much he would be on woohyun’s case, not letting him rest or help him settled back in bed or even aid to his hangover the following morning. sunggyu thinks woohyun would stay out late at parties because sunggyu was starting to become out of his league; woohyun was a good person, sunggyu thought, and he needed someone equally good to be with him. sunggyu tried to overlook woohyun’s venturing off in other people’s arms or beds or cars - he blamed himself. he was the one that always came home late from work. he was the one that pushed woohyun off because he was busy. he was the one that did not call him enough or text him or check to see he, too, was doing okay. it was all sunggyu’s fault.
bad sunggyu, he scolded himself.
eighty three completed origami rested on the bed he and woohyun once shared. sunggyu looked at them with saddened, tired eyes before turning off the light in the room. for the rest of the nine hundred and forty four days, he will sleep in the living room. just in case.
day 100- the day infinite go on hiatus
infinite announces their hiatus for an indefinite period of time.
fans cry at their closing stage and they chant woohyun’s name, most (if not all) hoping that the other main vocalist would just pop up on stage and dance and sing along. but woohyun doesn’t come on stage and nor is there any news of his whereabouts as the remaining six members of infinite hug tearfully backstage when it’s all over.
sunggyu thinks the weight he’s been holding on his shoulders crashed and now he’s drowning in its ashes. he politely declines the other members’ invitations to come out with them for dinner.
sunggyu heads home. he has to fold origami. he has to wish for woohyun. he has to remember them.
day 136- the day sunggyu thought the pill would bring him back
the first pill brings sunggyu a night lacking dreams.
the second has him sleeping throughout the whole night and most of the day.
the third and forth one make sunggyu irritated because the pain is still present.
with the fifth one, his mouth goes really dry. fuck it; he needs a drink of something strong.
sunggyu shatters like that, bit by bit.
the seventh (or was it the eight?) pill did not bring him back.
day 200- the day sunggyu meets delusion
the arms that were holding him felt strangely familiar. the lips that were pressed against his neck felt strangely warm. the hands that roamed his half naked body felt as though they always belonged there.
sunggyu kisses back sloppily and for the first time since those hands and lips attacked him, he opens his eyes. jet black hair, ivory skin and a clean silken suit welcome his sight and the male thinks his tears are tears of joy. he thinks the heavens are shining down upon him; how was it possible that such a familiar sight was back in his life? he still had one hundred origami papers to fold. maybe he wasn’t a bad person. and maybe his wish-
the person looks up and sunggyu’s heart crumbles into dust.
it’s not him.
but sunggyu allows the stranger to fuck him anyway because he looks and feels like woohyun. sunggyu wants to know what it feels like to mistake the one you love so dearly for someone else and go all the way.
sunggyu just wants to feel.
day 365- the day sunggyu finishes the origami
they’re a picturesque sight on his bed, all one thousand folded origami. they’re all adjusted to look up at him as though assuring them with their faceless faces that they’re working on granting their wish. he did as the legend told. sunggyu had been good and he’d been busily folding them for one year.
the door to the room opened and sungyeol poked his head in.
“hyung, we’re opening the champagne,” he announced with a soft voice, softer than sunggyu recalled it to be. “come join us.”
sunggyu looks back and nods, giving his dongsaeng a smile because sunggyu is tired of being looked after. he doesn’t want to become more of a burden than he already is.
“i’ll be there,” he tells sungyeol.
the younger nods, smiles and steps back, softly closing the door. they all know sunggyu would not be there. sunggyu was not really there ever since woohyun left.
day 404- the day sunggyu celebrated his birthday
“happy birthday, nam woohyun,” he whispered as he knelt in front of the small chocolate birthday cake he set up on the table.
as sunggyu blew the candle that was meant to be woohyun’s job to do in that very moment, he realized that he never felt more lonely.
day 483- the day sunggyu turns twenty four
“happy birthday, sunggyu hyung!”
there’s several pops as corks are being removed simultaneously from two champagne bottles held by dongwoo and howon whilst confetti rains over a rather surprised sunggyu as sungjong, myungsoo and sungyeol throw it towards him from all directions.
“you’re becoming old, old man!” sungyeol laughs as he hugs him after handing him a nicely wrapped gift.
“i am, aren’t i?” sunggyu laughs as he returns the hug.
“it’s your special day, hyung!” sungjong says in a singsong voice and he waltzes towards him with a cake and a lit candle in the shape of the numbers 25. “make a wish!” he encourages.
sunggyu nods, more enthusiastically than ever. every chance to make wishes, sunggyu takes them. bring him back to me. please bring him back to me, he wishes very hard with his eyes squeezed shut before blowing out the candles.
the members of infinite make sunggyu’s party as enjoyable as possible and they drag him from one conversation to another because no one wants him to think. sunggyu is thankful for having them as friends. he’s thankful for sungyeol and dongwoo’s antics; he’s thankful for sungjong’s affectionate clinging; he’s thankful for howon’s support; he’s thankful for myungsoo’s deliberate teasing. it’s just that sunggyu wishes he would find the strength to find time for his friends more.
he has time. but all of his time was spent folding paper origami or walking around town in every single place he and woohyun used to frequent just in case he would catch sight of the boy. sunggyu came to realize that his only scope in this miserable life of his would be to find woohyun.
day 643- the day infinite grew a year older
sunggyu walked in the dance room and every head turned in his direction. a few of the people stood up, surprised, but sungjong was the first to rush over to hug sunggyu. the infinite leader had been missing for more than enough, ever since his birthday when they had seen him last, and the passing time brought changes with it.
sungjong noted that sunggyu had grown thinner and much paler, all the result of the lack of sleep he had been getting as well as the unbalanced meals he probably ate during the course of the past few weeks.
he’d been travelling back and forth from city to city and even flew out of the country once or twice just to try and get a break. to run away, sunggyu tormented. nothing had changed in his heart. the storm was still there but he hosted it like a dear friend for it was the only form of company he had on the many nights he spent alone. his heart was still owned by woohyun but sunggyu couldn’t even feel its beats at times; he was sure woohyun had stolen it the moment he walked out of the door.
“it’s good to see you, sunggyu-ya,” their manager said, pulling sunggyu to sit down.
it was infinite’s third year anniversary. presents from fans were placed neatly on the large table in the middle of the room. letters carrying the repetitive messages of oppa, i miss you and please come back were present in every one of them.
they sat and talked about the past few years spent together as a band. they talked about the fun memories during pre-debut as well as post-debut. they talked about the tearful moments and the soothing they brought each other. they talked about anything and everything infinite related. one thing was missing from the discussion: nam woohyun.
then, as they were on the point of blowing the candles for the surprise cake, a phone went off. hyoan-hyung checked the caller ID - his eyes flicked to sunggyu quickly but before he could look away, the boy had caught his eyes. and he knew just who had called. sunggyu snatched the phone, holding on to it with both hands as though it was his life source.
“hyung,” the familiar voice came through.
sunggyu wanted to speak, wanted to let woohyun know that he was there, he was waiting. but he didn’t. he wanted to hear him speak. he wanted to be reminded of the voice he had fallen in love with.
“hyung, could you tell the members they’re in my heart? tell them - tell them i’m okay. i’m doing fine and-“
“w-woohyun...” sunggyu mumbled.
no response. sunggyu dared take the device away from his ear just to see if he was still on the line. he was. so he spoke again.
“i-we, uh, we miss you. a lot. and. i-we want you back. quickly.”
“...oh.”
sunggyu licked at his now dry lips, ignoring the eyes that were locked on him as he stood, frozen on the spot, clinging to a mobile phone.
“you can... just... infinite needs you and-and it’s okay... you don’t have to come to me. just come to us. back to us.” sunggyu’s eyes fluttered, preventing the tears. “please. please.”
“i-i know. hyung... i need some-hyung, i’ve gotta go and i miss-uh, bye.” and he hung up.
if sunggyu thought he had not been functioning well at all without woohyun, hearing the younger boy’s voice after so long confirmed it for him.
day 900- the day sunggyu remembered
it was a little past four o’clock in the morning when sunggyu was stirred awake from his light sleep. he heard the jingling of keys, the footsteps around the apartment and finally, a light was turned on in the living room. he pulled out from his bed but sunggyu couldn’t figure if he was deeply angry or deeply upset. but he was keen on confronting him. because sunggyu was sick of having some other guy’s perfume rubbing off on him whenever woohyun hugged him to sleep and he was sick of feeling like a second option.
“where were you?” sunggyu demanding with a sleepy but firm tone of voice. he stood in the doorway of their shared bedroom, arms crossed and eyes narrowed in on woohyun.
“out,” the boy replied. “hyung, not now...” he groaned, “seriously, i’m just so tired and-“
“no, woohyun! now. i want to talk now. in this very moment.” sunggyu closed the door to their bedroom, stepping further into the living room. “you’re not sleeping until you tell me what-“
“please,” woohyun begged and he groaned, stomping his feet and approaching sunggyu with open arms. there was that waft of different cologne again. sunggyu thought he was being to feel nauseous. “gyu-oh.” the younger boy took a step back as sunggyu pushed his embrace away.
“please,” sunggyu sighed and closed his eyes whilst pinching the bridge of his nose. “i’m tired-“
“you’re tired?”
“yes. i’m tired of waking up to you coming home at this time. without me. i’m tired of smelling like some other guys and i’m tired of kissing lips that mistook unfamiliar lips to be mine. i’m tired. i can’t cope anymore, woohyun and-“
“you can’t cope?” woohyun hissed. “and you think i can? you think i’m okay with being pushed away all the time?”
“i don’t push you away all the time-“
“you do! i’m tired of feeling like an escape only when you’re stressed-“
sunggyu stepped forward. “isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? isn’t the one you love supposed to help you through good and through bad?”
woohyun narrowed his eyes. “it’s always been bad for you these past few months.”
something inside sunggyu cracked. “i... i don’t do it on purpose and... woohyun. when did this start?” he raised his tone just by a little but sunggyu’s voice echoed in his head. “when? because i can’t seem to remember the smell of your perfume... i can’t-we haven’t even slept in weeks.”
“oh!”woohyun gasped, releasing a humourless laugh. “is that what it was? you were lacking sex? is that what you really want?” he huffed. “well fine! if that’s what you fucking want, sunggyu, then you should of said so.”
woohyun lunged forward, pinning sunggyu to the door behind him, ignoring the loud thump and the way sunggyu winced in pain. he kissed sunggyu, the action bruising and rough and anything but the woohyun he knew. sunggyu struggled. it wasn’t what he wanted, of course it wasn’t. he didn’t want woohyun to roam his body so roughly and he didn’t want woohyun to nip at his neck like that. sunggyu wanted to protest, he wanted to tell woohyun that it wasn’t what he wanted; he just wanted him -- nam woohyun that loved him and only him.
sunggyu gathered all his strength in his arms and pushed woohyun away. the younger stumbled much further back, knocking down a lamp and the room was even dimmer than before. terrified that he had damaged woohyun (because the smallest pain woohyun suffered, be it physical or emotional, it killed sunggyu) but his intended helpful hands were smacked away by woohyun.
“i-“ sunggyu coughed through tears, “i’m-i’m so sorry, i didn’t-“
“don’t touch me,” woohyun spat. sunggyu tried to think none of it; woohyun was drunk, he didn’t mean it, sunggyu chanted to himself. “i don’t-just, get away from me, sunggyu-“
“no! i-i hurt you. come, i’ll-i’ll help you up and-“
“what don’t you understand?” woohyun threw back. “don’t. touch. me. i’m tired, sunggyu. i’m so tired.”
his vision was blurred by tears. “and... and i’m not? am i... am i not allowed to feel important? to be tired? to be loved by-forget it.” sunggyu pulled up. “forget you.”
it went downhill from there. one venomous retort led to another; one broken mirror led to another crushed photo. one too sensitive of a word used carelessly led to more tears, more shouting, more heartbreak, more distance. woohyun did not back down and sunggyu did not back down. none had the time to calculate their words; none took their time to speak words that would not cut as deeply.
“i don’t want this anymore!” woohyun declared at last, out of breath.
sunggyu froze. time stopped. so did his heart. “w-what...”
woohyun, too, seemed to have caught on to his words. his eyes widened and his shoulders shook. he swallowed and looked right at sunggyu. the younger thought he could hear the sound of his heart shaking, crumbling as tear after tear slithered down his hyung’s cheeks. sunggyu looked lost, out of place and frail in the midst of their disaster. they were a disaster.
“i didn’t...” woohyun began, taking gentle steps towards sunggyu but the older walked further away from him.
sunggyu did not speak, his eyes watched woohyun but slowly, they trailed away. look at me, woohyun wanted to say, just...please look at me but sunggyu had long since made a quick disappearance from the living room and barricaded himself in the bathroom, the closest escape he could make.
day 990- the day sunggyu gives up
sunggyu had stopped counting when far too many days passed since he had completed the one thousand origami. the bed he once shared with woohyun was still host to the paper figures but sunggyu had since ceased to step foot in the room. he was convinced that wishes did not come true. hell, sunggyu thought he should just as well go in there and tear it all apart.
he was tired of sleeping in the living room on that small sofa, as though he could hear a set of keys jangling in the dead of the night - it did not happen.
he was tired of wishing for woohyun to come back. he couldn’t keep wasting wishes on something that now seemed too impossible to achieve - things that would no longer happen.
he was tired of being the anchor that halted everyone’s dreams because he was a lame excuse for a leader. sunggyu thought that he had long since reached his tipping point but he could at least survive the fall for the people that cared. people that were still there.
he picked up his phone on a monday morning and texted all of his members, all of the staff, all of the managers.
we’re coming back. infinite will be stronger than ever.
day 999- the day infinite came back
the fan club and the media exploded when infinite announced their comeback. somehow, in less than two weeks, the members managed to get back to the way their teamwork functioned and managed to film a highly awaited video, recording a full length album and getting another one of their famous synchronized dances in check.
they were infinite, after all.
backstage at music bank, everyone was running back and forth checking microphones, stage costumes and makeup. sunggyu buzzed with adrenaline and he thought this was it-he could at least sell what was left of his heart to music. he could just become a workaholic; not like he had not been one for the past few days. he ran back and forth, from one corner of the dressing room to the other, making sure his members were all set and they were ready.
“it feels like we’re back to the days when we debuted,” howon said with a light chuckle. “it feels good.”
“yeah,” sunggyu said as he looked out towards the other four members. “we’re good.”
howon gave sunggyu’s shoulders a squeeze. “thank you, hyung.”
“you all deserve to be back on stage and-“
“no,” howon shook his head, “thank you for coming back to us. we missed our leader.”
“infinite, get ready! you’re going out in three!”
they were all huddled together in a tight circle and sunggyu felt like he was partly taken out of a basin full of ice and dropped into a much warmer, more welcoming one. with a fighting! called out, the members jogged towards the stage.
sunggyu wondered if even the music erupting from the speakers would be loud enough to match the exhilarating yells and cheers of their fans. but the yelling increased as the chorus was being sung but oddly enough, sunggyu couldn’t hear his voice in his ear piece. he looked worryingly towards the microphone and he could swear his legs were about to give up any second now.
a hand wrapped around his waist, supporting him.
a figure appeared next to him, looking out towards the crowd.
more screams, more cheering and the collective chanting of nam woohyun nam woohyun nam woohyun echoed in his ears.
sunggyu felt dizzy. he would only let woohyun hold him just because he didn’t want to be an embarrassing leader and just collapse there. he’d give that bastard a piece of his mind backstage.
day 1000- the day sunggyu’s wish came true
sunggyu had the lock of his apartment changed and a new set of keys delivered to him. sunggyu also made sure he had shut off his phone during free time and he made sure to always surround himself with people so he won’t be alone, like a lost puppy that would make him accessible and free to talk to.
it was midnight when sunggyu was disturbed from reading his book for the nth time - he had lost track of how many times he knocked on his door and he lost track of how many messages and phone calls he left on his phone at pretty much any hour of the day or the night. sunggyu wondered if that idiot did not realize there were other people living in the apartment complex and being woken up by the mewling of gyu, please, i want to talk would be quite annoying.
after realizing he would not make it past the first line of murakami’s “norwegian wood”, sunggyu stalked off to the door and threw open the door.
“what.”
“i’m not being allowed in my own house. you do realize i can call the authorities, right?”
sunggyu crossed his arms, arching an eyebrow. “oh! your house? if i were you, i’d take that back. now.”
woohyun copied sunggyu’s stance. “make me.”
“just get out, nam woohyun. i’m busy.”
woohyun looked over sunggyu’s shoulder. “doesn’t seem like it to me.” he looked back at the older boy. “it doesn’t seem like you have guests over.”
“and what if i do?” sunggyu challenged.
“you wouldn’t.”
sunggyu was about to close the door on him. he really was about to until the younger fought against the closing door and in the midst of all the shouting and pushing back and forth, woohyun had managed to slip through the door and inside the apartment.
woohyun did not give sunggyu any time to breathe. he pressed against the older man with force, and slammed his lips upon sunggyu’s, savouring him, devouring him and pulling out each and every ounce of that feeling of emptiness that consumed him whilst away only to convert it to lust. sunggyu fought against him, struggled to push the boy away and struggled to impose his point that he did not want to kiss him but the bigger force of attraction that had not faltered took over and soon, sunggyu’s knees grew weak as woohyun’s hands trailed the waistband of his jeans.
“where’s-where’s the guest-“ woohyun murmured through kisses he peppered along sunggyu’s neck.
sunggyu held back a moan, closing his eyes and biting the corner of his lips. “right-right here.”
woohyun snickered and placed his hands behind sunggyu’s thighs, forcing the older boy to wrap his legs around woohyun’s legs.
they could talk about it properly in the morning.
∞
“get a damn room,” sungyeol muttered, throwing a pillow at woohyun’s head.
“you’re intruding our apartment and telling us to get a room? tsk.”
“some of us are trying to watch tv, not woogyu live pornography.”
sunggyu burst into a struggled laugh as he tried to pry woohyun’s hands off his torso but they did not budge.
it had been half a year since woohyun had returned and settled all of his scores. he had publicly apologized for going missing for too much and he had also apologized on a near day to day basis to anyone that would pretty much listen until their ceo threatened him with being kicked out of the band and slammed the door to his office shut right in front of woohyun’s face.
of course, it had still taken a while for sunggyu to accept woohyun back in his life and when the other members collectively attacked woohyun (“it’s teamwork, hyung!” sungyeol fought back when sunggyu told them to drop it, “it’s better we’re all synchronized so he can actually get a piece of our mind!”) with their storytelling of how much sunggyu had struggled and how he was even hospitalized once, woohyun would not stop crying. woohyun had explained himself to sunggyu as many times as the boy would listen until sunggyu, too, threatened to kick woohyun out of the apartment.
“but not out of your life right?” woohyun would grin and rub himself (what an odd habit he had gained...) against sunggyu when they sat to watch tv.
sunggyu looked at him with the corner of his eyes. “that would be the first place you’re out of.”
woohyun pouted. sunggyu really wanted to punch him.
but they were infinite. and infinite functioned because they made a promise to their fans and to themselves. infinite went strong together- from smaller awards from music shows until their very first daesang which happened to have been won by the seven boys right on their fifth year anniversary.
as he watched them celebrate, sunggyu thought that it was in that moment in his life that he had everything he could ever wish for. the bad memories remained but, he reckoned, could be blurred out by better ones that were soon to come.
woohyun, that grease of a brat that had no knowledge of personal space, snaked his arms around sunggyu’s waist and kissed his neck.
“we’re good,” he whispered against the hot skin of his hyung’s neck.
“we’re infinite,” sunggyu corrected him.
“his grease rubbed off on you, hyung, ew,” sungjong commented as he came in the room with his hands full of bags.
“think you can fold one thousand origami and make a wish of having his behaviour regulated?” woohyun asked.
sunggyu rolled his eyes. “making wishes is tiring. you try folding one thousand origami! see how you feel then!”
not even five minutes after greeting their families that joined their festivities and sunggyu found himself in the darkest of rooms with woohyun knelt in front of him.
the next day, sunggyu woke up to the infinite fan cafe bursting with activity under a thread titled “woogyu ship did not sink!”.
Author's Note: there went nothing! it was going to be an angst filled ending but really, the more i re-read through it and the more i wrote each bit, i couldn't bring myself because woogyu safkhdsjfdshfs ;; This is dedicated to my dear WooGyu parter in crime, Silvia, who absolutely can't stand those two being apart. 8D ♥