Fic: Something More (Jim/Bones, Rated: NC-17)
Title: Something More
Author: wook77
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Pairing: Jim/Bones
Rating: NC-17
Warnings:
Wordcount: ~6000
Summary: From fuck buddies to friends to lovers.
A/N: Written for the Kirk/McCoy challenge, prompt 14: prompt: after the mess of his divorce, mccoy is not in a rush to get involved with anyone, especially someone like jim kirk who doesn't even know what monogamy is. jim has to convince him to take a chance on him. Dunno if this fulfills the prompt entirely. Unbeta'd.
Jim bites at his neck, mouthing against his skin so that it's bathed in his spit. Instead of arguing it, Bones arches his neck and gives Jim more access. It makes sense in his drunken head that they're doing this, that he's got his cock balls deep inside of Jim as he pins him to the door and slides out before slamming back in.
"Come on, Bones, fuck me harder. I'm not a girl, fuck me," Jim demands and Bones complies. Not because Jim's got some power trip going but because if he fucks Jim hard enough, he'll shut the fuck up and then Bones won't have to think about the fact that it's Jim that he's sliding inside, that it's Jim that gives him the best orgasms of his life, that it's Jim that he can't wait to fuck. He'd rather imagine that it's some random pick-up that just so happens to know exactly how to touch him to get him to come and come hard.
His legs are shaking as he supports both their weights but he wouldn't trade the way that Jim's wrapped around him - legs tight around his waist while one arm clings to his neck and the other grips his ass tightly - for the world. When he's drunk like he is, he doesn't care that, maybe in the morning after, Jim will bring up the drunken fumbles and fucks and press the issue.
When he's drunk, he can pretend that this means nothing.
~*~
"Want a drink?" Jim asks as he cruises the bar for someone to fuck. He watches the crowd and spots a few likely candidates. There's Uhura but considering he's struck out the last forty-eight times he's tried, it's a long shot. There's her roommate and she's a likely one with the way that she tosses her dark hair and winks at him. There's a guy from his Astronavigation class that's likely, as well, with the way that he's watching Jim play with his drink.
"Not tonight, Jim," Bones mutters as he stares into the alcohol like it's got every answer in the known universe. It's probably a letter from his ex-wife, rubbing it in that Bones is missing another milestone in Joanna's life or something. Who knows with Bones, though. It could be anything from getting less than a hundred percent on an exam or having to deal with an idiot patient. Jim knows the last one all too intimately, unfortunately.
"Anyone you got your eyes on tonight?" he asks as he scans the crowd once more. Uhura's roommate is looking better and better. The added likelihood of Uhura walking in while they're fucking tips the scales away from his classmate and to the girl.
"No, Jim, I don't. I don't need to fuck everything that moves," he says and Jim hears the unspoken 'unlike you' that's at the end. He ignores the brief flash of hurt and concentrates on figuring out the best way to get invited back to that girl's room.
"Well, Bones, she isn't moving right now but I'll try my best. Don't wait up for me," Jim says and then slaps Bones on the shoulder.
Casually making his way past the girl's table, he stumbles into Uhura's chair. After he apologizes, offers a few drinks and smiles at them both, he finds himself invited to sit with Uhura and Roxann. He's leaning over her, clearly looking down into the vee of her shirt when he feels eyes on him. He looks up and he catches Bones staring at him. The look goes straight to his cock and he tries to slip a hand into his lap to press against it so that it isn't obvious to Roxann.
Bones isn't supposed to turn him on with just a heated glance, especially one that looks more pissed off than turned on. When he's fucking Roxann (no Uhura that he can see), he can't help but wonder what it would be like to sink deep into Bones, just like this. The image sends him sliding in climax faster than he's come since he was fifteen. It's almost embarrassingly fast. Thankfully, he makes up for the speed of his orgasm by sucking on Roxann's clit until she comes, too.
~*~
Bones can't take fucking Jim face to face right now so he grabs Jim and flips him over, rough hands acting even rougher than normal as he ignores the way that he wants to berate Jim for fucking someone else. The possessiveness annoys him (definitely annoys, doesn't intrigue, inflame, or scare him, dammit) so he slaps Jim's bare ass and then slides in with little forethought and preparation. Jim's too tight for this and he wonders how much damage he'll have to repair.
"God, just like that, Bones, fuck, that's just how I want it," Jim pants out and Bones still doesn't want to hear him speak. If he remembers that this is Jim, he might say something other than 'fucking whore, going to fuck you 'til you bleed' and that would be disasterous. Anything else out of his mouth would sound like 'God, Jim, need you so fucking much' and then where would he be?
If he's thinking like this, he obviously needs more to drink. He'll have to rectify that as soon as possible so he can pretend that this sort of friends and benefits thing is normal and then, in the morning, he can pretend that he doesn't remember fucking Jim.
Instead of responding to Jim's words, he grabs Jim's neck and twists so that Jim's face first into the pillow and he holds him there with one hand while his other hand grabs Jim's hip and pulls him back into his thrusts before pushing him away only to repeat the tug closer. It's rough and fast and dirty. Just like this has to be by unspoken agreement.
When they've both come, Bones pulls out, turns on the light and looks at Jim's ass for damage. It's not as bad as he'd thought it would be. He keeps his hands as clinical as they can be. Once his examination is over, he cleans himself off, dresses and then leaves without looking back or saying a word. He might like fucking Jim but he doesn't want a relationship with him and staying after sex for cuddling or talk is definitely relationship material.
He's never claimed to be anything other than a bitter, old divorced man who can't risk falling further in love with his best friend.
~*~
Bones is patching him up after a sparring match. He'd started helping the instructor out back at the beginning of their second year and this isn't the first time he's been injured since. It's almost normal that Jim pops over to Bones's room afterwards. Today had been a particularly rough session with the first year student clumsily swinging his fists and failing miserably to connect to anything other than Jim's face.
"He got you pretty good," Bones says as he tends Jim. "Get the shirt off, let me check your ribs."
Jim smirks and then slowly strips out of his shirt. He watches Bones watching him and he's so fucking turned on right now that it's taking everything he's got not to touch Bones and see if what they've been doing in the dark and drunk for the past year would be even better in the daylight and sober. Jim thinks it would be but there's this rule between them, unspoken and all the more rigid because of that silence, that they don't talk about what happens between them. They act like it never happened and Jim isn't going to break the rule and keep them from doing it again.
Bones's hands on his body are gentle, far more gentle than they ever are when they fuck and Jim bites back the moan that's threatening to shatter the weird dichotomy they have. His willpower only goes so far, though, as he arches into the touch. Bones barely hesitates before continuing.
"Want some salve?" Bones asks and Jim hears the way that his voice trembles just a little bit. So Jim isn't the only one that remembers when they're sober, he's not the only one that wants while they're sober. Bones might be capable of words but Jim isn't so he just nods. He's turned into even more of a masochist, obviously, because he lets Bones rub each inch of his chest and shoulders and arms, down to his fingers. He lets Bones massage into his muscles and touch him all over.
This is what he wants, every once in a while, this gentleness. The only one way that this moment could get better is if Bones were to kiss him. The thought stills him as he realizes that Bones has never kissed him, not even when they're fucking.
~*~
Jim brushes up against him as they're studying, a quick brush of leg to leg. When Bones looks up, Jim winks at him. It's the patented "you're coming home with me" look and Bones doesn't know if he wants to do this or not. This whatever (not a relationship, dammit) seems self-destructive and doomed to failure.
"Want to go for a drink?" Jim asks as he brushes his leg against Bones's again.
"Yeah, ok," Bones agrees.
Hours later, Bones is painfully sober and wondering if he can go through with this without the liquid courage. They keep getting separated so it's easy to fake being drunk because Jim's not there to see how much alcohol he's had. When he gets back to the table, it's covered by glasses and Jim has a full one in his hands.
"Bonesy!" Jim calls out and gestures towards the empty seat on his right before gesturing towards the girl at his left. "You know Althea?"
"Can't say that I do."
"We've got Astronavigation together. She's really smart," Jim says as Bones sits down. Bones resists flinching as Jim flings an arm over his shoulders. "And not just cause she chose to study with me."
"I'm sure you're studying," he mutters.
Jim stares at him and then grips his shoulder and shakes him. "Gotta pass it. Going to be a captain someday. Althea, you're looking at my future CMO."
"Nice to meet you," she says and then looks over their shoulders. "I'll leave you two to your date."
"Date?" Jim looks at Bones and Bones looks at Jim. "That what this is?"
"Don't think so," Bones says.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Let's get out of here," Jim says and then stands, stumbling into the table lightly. Yeah, Jim's drunk enough for them to fuck. Is he really going to do this?
He gets the answer a few minutes later as Jim climbs all over him as they enter Bones's dorm room. Bones arches into Jim's touch and lets him bear him down to the bed. His mouth is wet and hot against Bones's chest as he opens up his shirt and sucks a nipple into his mouth. His hands thrust into Jim's hair and hold on as he keeps kissing his way down. Finally, after what seems like far too long, his mouth is on Bones's cock.
"Yeah, like that, fuck yeah," Bones says as he keeps his hands on Jim's hair and starts to fuck Jim's mouth. Jim hums around his cock and Bones takes it as encouragement to keep talking and so he does, "God, your mouth, Jim, your fucking mouth and the things it does. Just like that, fucking yeah, just keep sucking, oh god, please keep sucking. Your mouth was made for sucking my dick, wasn't it?"
Jim keeps sucking and Bones keeps talking. "Been wanting to fuck your mouth for days. Every time you shove food in your mouth, I remember the way that you take my cock into it and I get hard. Fucking yeah, just like that, just like that, oh god, yes, just like that."
Bones arches as Jim's hand traces between his legs and presses into him dry. He's coming, Jim's name on his lips, as he gets trapped between Jim and Jim. Jim mouths his way back up Bones's body but Bones avoids his lips, leaning over to the bedside table and pulling lube out of the drawer. "Fuck me," he demands.
"Those are some magical words but I think you're missing the most important one," Jim says as he grabs the lube and coats his fingers.
"Now," Bones says and then starts to turn over. Jim's hand stops him.
"I want to do this face to face."
"Yeah, ok." Bones is definitely not drunk enough for that. He doesn't want to know what Jim looks like when he comes almost as much as he wants to know what Jim looks like when he comes.
"Don't sound so excited about it, Bones, you might make me come right here and now."
"You going to fuck me or talk me to death?"
Jim's fingers press into him, far too gentle for their normal drunken fumblings. Bones's legs fall open further as he pulls his knees to his chest and holds on. Bones watches Jim as Jim watches his fingers. It's enough to have his cock twitching. Jim has to notice because he looks up and smirks at Bones.
"I think talking you to death is working just fine."
"I think it's the fact that your fingers are in my ass when it should be your cock, already."
"Want to do this up right," Jim says as he adds a third finger. "You should see yourself. The way that you're all bent up and gagging for it. It's fucking hot, Bones."
"Then fuck me already," Bones demands. He can't take slow and steady and gentle. Their fucks are supposed to be hard and fast and rushed.
"All in good time, Bones," Jim says as he slowly withdraws his fingers and then slides his cock in. When he's fully seated, he leans in and mouths his way across Bones's neck, starting at one ear, ending at the other. He pulls back, thrusts again and then leans in, lips dangerously close to Bones's mouth. "You like that?"
His breath doesn't smell like alcohol. It barely registers before Jim pulls back and starts thrusting in earnest. They're both doing this sober. The realization that Jim wants to fuck him while he's sober sends Bones over the edge faster than the hand on his dick.
~*~
It's tempting to take the Deltan up on her offer but one look at Bones as he crosses the dining hall towards Jim has him turning her down. He'd rather have Bones.
The thought makes him pause. He'd put money down on the fact that Bones had been sober the last time they'd fucked. And Jim, himself, had definitely been sober.
"You not going for the Deltan? You feeling all right? Maybe we should take you over to the medlab and get you checked out," Bones says as he sits down.
"I'm not in the mood."
"Not in the mood? For a Deltan? Who are you and what have you done with Jim?" Bones starts poking and prodding him, attempting to get a laugh but Jim just finds himself getting turned on.
"I've got my eye on a bigger prize."
~*~
Bones isn't at all certain why Jim's comment in the dining hall had made him nervous but he finds himself watching every word and every gesture around Jim. He can't bring himself to drink in excess and then fuck Jim, any longer. The last time, when they'd both been sober, had been better than all the previous times.
He just draws the line at kissing.
~*~
They've been fucking around for well over a year now. Jim can't remember the last time he'd fucked someone other than Bones and that fact, alone, is enough to shock him. Surely it's been within the past month. Maybe a month and a half? Hell if he knows. All he knows is that they're faking being drunk at least twice a week.
He wants to stop faking and move right into some sort of relationship. He wants Bones's lips on his, he wants to kiss Bones until they both come just from the feel of lips against lips and tongue against tongue.
~*~
Bones doesn't know what he's doing with Jim any longer. He's confused and nervous all the time. It doesn't stop him from sinking into Jim or giving up his own body so that Jim can sink into him.
~*~
All Jim wants to do is toss his padd at the nearest wall. This xenophysiology class was complete crap as far as he's concerned. Why does he really need to know whether or not the Bzzit Khaht have double-jointed fingers or whether or not Aaamazzarites have three chambers to their heart or four? None of this makes any sort of difference to his life at this point in time. All he really needs to know is whether they're friend or foe and how he can take them down if they're a foe.
When he says as much to Bones, though, he gets a snort of derision. "Because, Jim, if they have double-jointed extremities, you'll need to change the sort of pressure you exert on the joint…"
Bones continues to ramble on but Jim stops listening as he watches Bones's lips move and form words. They're fascinatingly sexy and Jim can't help remembering the way that they'd felt wrapped around his cock the other night as they'd sucked one another off. He's getting hard just from remembering that and the way that Bones had held his hip the last time he'd fucked Jim or the way that Bones's lips feel against his skin, the way his teeth bite down so hard that Jim has bruises in the morning.
Those bruises are the only parts that remind him that the night before had actually happened cause it's not like he wakes up to Bones lying beside him in the morning (or afternoon, as is far too often the case) anyway. He's used to one of them sneaking out after the sex.
"Are you listening to me?" Bones asks, snapping his fingers in Jim's face. He reaches out and grabs those fingers.
"Course I am. It's important to know the physiology of all the various members of the galaxy so that we can use their weaknesses against them."
"You can let go of my hand," Bones orders quietly, tugging his hand but Jim only holds it tighter.
"I don't think so," Jim says as he tightens his grip further, reaching up another hand to hold on to Bones's wrist. Grinning, he decides that the next, most appropriate step, would be to kiss Bones's wrist just above where he's holding on and so he does. He doesn't expect the way that Bones punches him.
Holding his jaw, he stares at Bones. "What the hell you do that for?"
"Don't, Jim, just don't," Bones orders.
"So you can put your dick in my ass and I can put my dick in yours but I can't hold your hand?" And just like that, Jim's broken one of the few rules in his life that he's ever abided by: you don't talk about the fucking.
"Out," Bones says coldly as he points at the door.
"No. We're going to talk about this and why you're so freaked out when I touch you when it isn't dark and we're not drunk."
"Let me explain something. To have a conversation that involves a 'we', there has to be a 'we' to begin with. There isn't a 'we' in this conversation. There is only you forcing an issue that you should just leave the hell alone." Bones drops his hand and then grabs Jim's padd and pushes it at him.
"Dammit, Bones," he says as he grabs his padd before it falls to the ground. "So I can hold your dick but not your hand?"
"Fine, you want to push it? Fine!" Bones yells and then stands up and shoves at Jim's shoulders. "I'm not interested in holding your hand and playing at being your cuckolded boyfriend."
"Cuckolded? That's a bit old-fashioned even for you." Jim tries to make it into a joke.
"You can't even be serious about the conversation you started. You're an infant, Jim, a little baby wanting everyone's attention as you flit from person to person, sucking on whatever floats your boat. Well, I'm not interested."
"You're interested enough when you're drunk."
"Of course I am. Hell, Admiral Archer could offer to suck my dick when I'm drunk and I'd probably take him up on it. You're there and you're easy so why wouldn't I take you up on it when you're bending over and begging me to fuck you?"
The last, as far as Jim is concerned, is far too over the line, even for such a bitter man like Bones. Jim's never felt dirty and used before this moment. It's such a disgusting feeling, especially with the way that he'd started thinking about being more with Bones, with wanting to actually slide into that next part. Hell, he's been contemplating monogamy, for fuck's sake. He's imagined them on the same ship and sharing quarters. Christ, he's an idiot.
"Right," he says and tries to cover it with a smile. "I'd forgotten that. I'll have to send a message to him to let him know, should he ever get lonely."
"Jim," Bones says and Jim shakes his head.
"Look, I'll just head out and study in the library for a bit, gotta look up the physiology of Saurians anyway, and I don't have my notes on my padd."
He looks around for his padd and notices it lying on the ground. When had he dropped it? He can't remember but it doesn't matter, he just bends over, scoops it up and then heads out the door, ignoring the way that Bones calls out, "Jim, wait."
~*~
It's been three months since Bones had gone too far. He'd been ready to apologize but, in the morning, Jim had acted normal and Bones hadn't known what to say. He'd stepped over the line, no matter that he'd meant most of it in the moment. Jim's smile had been as bright as ever as he'd invited Bones out to breakfast and then asked him about the sleep cycle of Grazerites.
The friendship might feel normal but they haven't fucked in three months and Bones finds himself missing the way that Jim knows his body better than Bones himself. He misses the way that Jim would, whether they were fucking or not, touch his elbow or swing an arm over his shoulders. He misses the casual intimacies that have completely disappeared.
They still go out and Jim still flirts but Bones hasn't seen him go home with anyone since the argument. Once he starts thinking about it, he can't remember the last time he saw Jim go home with someone else. He doesn't know if that's because Jim's doing it when Bones can't see him or if there's something else going on.
"Want a drink?" Jim asks as they stand at the crowded bar.
Bones shifts closer and leans in to yell into Jim's ear but Jim shies away. Instead, Bones shakes his head and waits while Jim orders some sort of beer. While they wait, Bones scans the crowd and picks out a few people that are Jim's type. When Jim turns with his beer, Bones points to one of them. "You going for that one, tonight?"
"Too much work."
"What about that one?"
"Bones, I'll find my own, thanks. Come on, table's opening up. Let's grab it." Jim doesn't look back as he heads deeper into the bar to snag the table. Bones stares after him, watching the way that he grins and winks his way through the crowd, hips twisting as he avoids this person and then turning the other way for the next. Bones is sober but that doesn't stop him wanting Jim's body up against his. He wants the taste of Jim on his tongue, the tongue he hadn't been able to control as the insults flew. He'd meant the bit about monogamy but he shouldn’t' have said that he'd fuck Archer if he'd had enough to drink because it's not true. Jim's the only one he fucks, the only one he touches and lets touch him.
He wants to fix this but he doesn't, either. Jim needs others like most people need air. Besides, Bones is too needy, himself. He needs Jim's attention on him and only him.
Bones finally makes his way across the bar and sits down next to Jim. Under the guise of sprawling out, he presses his knee against Jim's and isn't at all surprised when Jim shifts away from him, quick and not at all subtle.
"You ready for summer session?" Bones asks as the silence spreads. It's something that he hates, the way that silence no longer seems comfortable between them.
"Just about. Pike's got a few leadership sessions he wants me to attend. There's one off-planet that looks interesting," Jim says and then turns his attention towards Bones, rambling on about how he's going to be the only cadet at this session and everyone else are lieutenant or higher ranked. Bones blocks the words and watches Jim, relieved to see the energy and exuberance that he'd gotten used to all come back. Before he realizes what he's doing, his hand is on Jim's arm and Jim's lips stop moving as he stares at Bones.
"I'm sorry," Bones says, hand clenching at Jim's arm.
"Yeah, me too, I can't believe it falls when we were supposed to go to that thing together," Jim says, looking over Bones's shoulder.
Bones reaches up, gripping Jim's chin lightly, trying to force him to make eye contact. "You know what I'm talking about."
"Leave it." Jim's eyes still stare over his shoulder.
"Dammit, Jim, I'm saying I'm sorry. I was over the line."
"What? You want to get a fuck? All you had to do was ask. We can go back to your place now unless you need a few drinks first. I'll go get 'em," Jim says, starting to stand up except for the grip on his face.
"Dammit, Jim! It's not about that." Bones is loud enough that a few of the people at tables near them stare. He lowers his voice and says again, "Dammit, Jim."
"It's fine. You're right. Who the hell would want to fall into any sort of relationship with me? You don't have to worry about it, I'm not looking for a boyfriend. You want a fuck, I'll give it to you."
"I don't want just a fuck."
"Then what do you want?"
"I don't know," Bones says.
Jim reaches up, grabs his hand and pushes it away. "I'll get us a drink. Be right back."
~*~
Jim can't help it, he still needs this. He replays the video of his second attempt at the Kobayashi Maru and the way that Bones had turned to him and stared as they lost. Again. He freezes the frame, keeps that intent gaze on his face as his hands open his trousers and he pulls at his cock.
He needs Bones's intense gaze on him, it's almost the same as when Bones fucks him up against a wall, that serious contemplation as if Jim has all the answers in the world. As if Jim is the world. Bones stares out at him from the screen and Jim leans in so all he can see is Bones. When he comes, he presses his forehead to Bones's on the screen and barely keeps himself from mouthing against it.
This monogamy thing sucks. Obviously Bones really doesn't want something with him and he's a fool for trying. It's just that he can't help it. He doesn't know what else to do to get Bones to realize, though. He should just give up because Bones isn't ever going to see that Jim's serious about him.
~*~
Seven months since the argument, two days since they'd escaped the Narada and the gravitational irregularity and Bones has finally had it. He waits until Jim walks past, on his way to engineering to check on something or other because, of course, Jim is the only one that can possibly check on whatever the issue is. Once Jim is slightly past him, he swipes at Jim's neck with the hypospray and grins when it sinks in.
"What the he-" Jim tries to speak but the sedative takes effect quickly and Bones grabs him as he slumps towards the ground.
"It's for your own good," Bones says and then carries him towards Bones's quarters. The argument will go over easier if Jim wakes up in private quarters rather than the medbay.
While Jim is out, Bones finally treats the strangulation bruising, the broken ribs, and the torn skin over his knuckles. He leaves Jim in his underwear and tucks him in while Bones calls the medbay and lets Chapel know that he's taking a few hours for some sleep. They've all been up for days, catnapping in stretches and Chapel doesn't begrudge him the time, only asking that she gets first dibs on the next sleep. Bones agrees and then falls into bed next to Jim, crawling under the covers and resting his hand on Jim's chest.
~*~
It takes him a few minutes to realize that his pillow is moving. It's another few moments until he realizes that the pillow is warm flesh. Another moment followed by a blurry-eyed look around and Jim realizes that he's got no clue where he's at except on top of Bones.
They've fucked in almost every position imaginable but he's never seen Bones sleeping. Bones looks younger in sleep though he's still got stress lines and worry written all over his face. Unsure of how lightly Bones sleeps, Jim shifts slowly so that he's resting on one arm and staring up at Bones. His other arm shifts so that he can touch Bones's face, smoothing out the worry lines.
"Nanow," Bones murmurs as he swats at Jim's hand. Jim stops brushing across his skin and, instead, holds the side of Bones's face and then lays back down. "Is better, Jim."
The alarm goes off a few minutes later. Bones mutters to himself before turning off the alarm and shifting so that he's holding Jim closer. Jim doesn't say a word, just absorbs the touch.
"Stop thinking, I'm trying to catch a couple more minutes of sleep," Bones mutters as his hand brushes down Jim's back.
"You sedated me," Jim whispers back.
"Course I did, you were running yourself into the ground." Bones's hand doesn't stop drifting up to Jim's hair and then back down across Jim's ass and up again, from right to left and back again. It's firm and comforting, lulling Jim towards just a bit more sleep even if he has a ship to run.
"Why aren't I in medbay, then?"
"Because if you're going to yell at me, I'd prefer you do it here where I don't have a crew to hear you berate me."
"But why am I here?" Jim asks and then waits while Bones's hand stills.
"Dammit, Jim," Bones sighs. "Because I…"
Jim just waits.
"Because you're my best friend," Bones finally says.
Right. That's that. Jim nods and then pushes up and away from Bones, looking for his clothes as he slips out of bed. He freezes at Bones's hand on his shoulder.
"Because you're more than that. I'm not good at this, you know that."
"I've been trying, Bones."
"I know, kid."
"Gave up a few days ago."
"I know, kid."
Jim just waits again, stays still as Bones wraps himself around him, hands on his stomach and across his chest. He can feel the heat radiating off of Bones's chest as it bores into his back. It's tempting to lean back against it.
"If you're willing to try again…"
"I can do monogamy, you know."
"I know, kid."
"You sure you haven't gotten a better offer from Archer or someone?"
Bones bites at his neck. "Didn't mean it."
"I know, old man."
"I'm not good at this but I care," Bones says and Jim finally leans back into the embrace.
"Good enough for me," he says and then grabs Bones's hand and mouths the palm, sucking what he can into his mouth and then nibbling.
"Jim," Bones breathes against his neck as he turns Jim around and then kisses him. Jim's been waiting two years for this, two far-too-long years for Bones's mouth on his. He'd imagined it thousands of times but his imagination isn't nearly clever enough to have imagined the way that Bones's tongue actually presses up against his, sweeping into his mouth and tracing his teeth. His imagination had failed at figuring out the taste of Bones (days-old stress, coffee, stimulants and Bones).
His imagination had failed at figuring out how Bones's hands grip into his hair as he controls the kiss. Jim doesn't let him have control for too long, though, as he pulls away and shoves Bones back towards the bed and then lands on him, kissing him this time, as he pins Bones's hands to the bed above their heads. Thrusting his hips, he tries to find a rhythm so that the brush of Bones's cock against his can get him to come though Jim thinks that Bones's mouth on his might be enough if it goes on forever.
His lungs are burning but he doesn't care because Bones is still kissing him, thrusting up as he pushes down and their cocks rub against one another. He refuses to let go of Bones's hands or his mouth as Bones lifts his knee between Jim's legs and increases the pressure further. Jim rides his leg, the friction burning and chafing.
When he finally has to get some air, he shifts so that he can pant into Bones's ear and neck, mouthing along the skin in time to his thrusts.
"Jim," Bones says, arching against him and struggling against the hold Jim has on his hands. "Jim, got to touch you."
"Please." Jim lets go of Bones's hands and lets himself be swept under as Bones takes control, flipping them over before touching him everywhere and then sucking his dick into that wet, amazing mouth.
It doesn't take much, just a couple of sucks and that wriggle of his tongue that Bones does so well, before Jim comes on a broken-off cry. Bones climbs back up his body and kisses him again. As good as the kiss had been before, kissing Bones with the taste of Jim in his mouth is even better.
After forcing his hand between them, he grips Bones's cock and then pulls up slowly before sliding back down, thumb pausing to brush the tip. Jim captures Bones's moan in his mouth as they continue to kiss, the thrust of their tongues matching the thrust of Bones's hips. Bones barely lasts longer than Jim had once Bones had really started paying attention to his cock. With a grin, Jim gathers what he can from their stomachs and then licks his fingers clean. The grin stays on his face as he slides down Bones's body and then licks at his stomach and then his cock.
When he slides back up Bones's body, he's met with more lips and tongue and teeth.
"Christ, kid," Bones mutters when they finally break apart.
"That good?"
"Yeah."
Jim sees Bones's brain churning with thoughts and he cups that unshaven cheek. "It's going to be brilliant."
"You're going to wear me out."
"Well, duh."
"Dammit, Jim," Bones says but there's no heat in the words. "You better mean this or I'll…"
"I mean it."
"So do I," he finally says.
As always, I'd love to hear what you thought.
Author: wook77
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Pairing: Jim/Bones
Rating: NC-17
Warnings:
Wordcount: ~6000
Summary: From fuck buddies to friends to lovers.
A/N: Written for the Kirk/McCoy challenge, prompt 14: prompt: after the mess of his divorce, mccoy is not in a rush to get involved with anyone, especially someone like jim kirk who doesn't even know what monogamy is. jim has to convince him to take a chance on him. Dunno if this fulfills the prompt entirely. Unbeta'd.
Jim bites at his neck, mouthing against his skin so that it's bathed in his spit. Instead of arguing it, Bones arches his neck and gives Jim more access. It makes sense in his drunken head that they're doing this, that he's got his cock balls deep inside of Jim as he pins him to the door and slides out before slamming back in.
"Come on, Bones, fuck me harder. I'm not a girl, fuck me," Jim demands and Bones complies. Not because Jim's got some power trip going but because if he fucks Jim hard enough, he'll shut the fuck up and then Bones won't have to think about the fact that it's Jim that he's sliding inside, that it's Jim that gives him the best orgasms of his life, that it's Jim that he can't wait to fuck. He'd rather imagine that it's some random pick-up that just so happens to know exactly how to touch him to get him to come and come hard.
His legs are shaking as he supports both their weights but he wouldn't trade the way that Jim's wrapped around him - legs tight around his waist while one arm clings to his neck and the other grips his ass tightly - for the world. When he's drunk like he is, he doesn't care that, maybe in the morning after, Jim will bring up the drunken fumbles and fucks and press the issue.
When he's drunk, he can pretend that this means nothing.
~*~
"Want a drink?" Jim asks as he cruises the bar for someone to fuck. He watches the crowd and spots a few likely candidates. There's Uhura but considering he's struck out the last forty-eight times he's tried, it's a long shot. There's her roommate and she's a likely one with the way that she tosses her dark hair and winks at him. There's a guy from his Astronavigation class that's likely, as well, with the way that he's watching Jim play with his drink.
"Not tonight, Jim," Bones mutters as he stares into the alcohol like it's got every answer in the known universe. It's probably a letter from his ex-wife, rubbing it in that Bones is missing another milestone in Joanna's life or something. Who knows with Bones, though. It could be anything from getting less than a hundred percent on an exam or having to deal with an idiot patient. Jim knows the last one all too intimately, unfortunately.
"Anyone you got your eyes on tonight?" he asks as he scans the crowd once more. Uhura's roommate is looking better and better. The added likelihood of Uhura walking in while they're fucking tips the scales away from his classmate and to the girl.
"No, Jim, I don't. I don't need to fuck everything that moves," he says and Jim hears the unspoken 'unlike you' that's at the end. He ignores the brief flash of hurt and concentrates on figuring out the best way to get invited back to that girl's room.
"Well, Bones, she isn't moving right now but I'll try my best. Don't wait up for me," Jim says and then slaps Bones on the shoulder.
Casually making his way past the girl's table, he stumbles into Uhura's chair. After he apologizes, offers a few drinks and smiles at them both, he finds himself invited to sit with Uhura and Roxann. He's leaning over her, clearly looking down into the vee of her shirt when he feels eyes on him. He looks up and he catches Bones staring at him. The look goes straight to his cock and he tries to slip a hand into his lap to press against it so that it isn't obvious to Roxann.
Bones isn't supposed to turn him on with just a heated glance, especially one that looks more pissed off than turned on. When he's fucking Roxann (no Uhura that he can see), he can't help but wonder what it would be like to sink deep into Bones, just like this. The image sends him sliding in climax faster than he's come since he was fifteen. It's almost embarrassingly fast. Thankfully, he makes up for the speed of his orgasm by sucking on Roxann's clit until she comes, too.
~*~
Bones can't take fucking Jim face to face right now so he grabs Jim and flips him over, rough hands acting even rougher than normal as he ignores the way that he wants to berate Jim for fucking someone else. The possessiveness annoys him (definitely annoys, doesn't intrigue, inflame, or scare him, dammit) so he slaps Jim's bare ass and then slides in with little forethought and preparation. Jim's too tight for this and he wonders how much damage he'll have to repair.
"God, just like that, Bones, fuck, that's just how I want it," Jim pants out and Bones still doesn't want to hear him speak. If he remembers that this is Jim, he might say something other than 'fucking whore, going to fuck you 'til you bleed' and that would be disasterous. Anything else out of his mouth would sound like 'God, Jim, need you so fucking much' and then where would he be?
If he's thinking like this, he obviously needs more to drink. He'll have to rectify that as soon as possible so he can pretend that this sort of friends and benefits thing is normal and then, in the morning, he can pretend that he doesn't remember fucking Jim.
Instead of responding to Jim's words, he grabs Jim's neck and twists so that Jim's face first into the pillow and he holds him there with one hand while his other hand grabs Jim's hip and pulls him back into his thrusts before pushing him away only to repeat the tug closer. It's rough and fast and dirty. Just like this has to be by unspoken agreement.
When they've both come, Bones pulls out, turns on the light and looks at Jim's ass for damage. It's not as bad as he'd thought it would be. He keeps his hands as clinical as they can be. Once his examination is over, he cleans himself off, dresses and then leaves without looking back or saying a word. He might like fucking Jim but he doesn't want a relationship with him and staying after sex for cuddling or talk is definitely relationship material.
He's never claimed to be anything other than a bitter, old divorced man who can't risk falling further in love with his best friend.
~*~
Bones is patching him up after a sparring match. He'd started helping the instructor out back at the beginning of their second year and this isn't the first time he's been injured since. It's almost normal that Jim pops over to Bones's room afterwards. Today had been a particularly rough session with the first year student clumsily swinging his fists and failing miserably to connect to anything other than Jim's face.
"He got you pretty good," Bones says as he tends Jim. "Get the shirt off, let me check your ribs."
Jim smirks and then slowly strips out of his shirt. He watches Bones watching him and he's so fucking turned on right now that it's taking everything he's got not to touch Bones and see if what they've been doing in the dark and drunk for the past year would be even better in the daylight and sober. Jim thinks it would be but there's this rule between them, unspoken and all the more rigid because of that silence, that they don't talk about what happens between them. They act like it never happened and Jim isn't going to break the rule and keep them from doing it again.
Bones's hands on his body are gentle, far more gentle than they ever are when they fuck and Jim bites back the moan that's threatening to shatter the weird dichotomy they have. His willpower only goes so far, though, as he arches into the touch. Bones barely hesitates before continuing.
"Want some salve?" Bones asks and Jim hears the way that his voice trembles just a little bit. So Jim isn't the only one that remembers when they're sober, he's not the only one that wants while they're sober. Bones might be capable of words but Jim isn't so he just nods. He's turned into even more of a masochist, obviously, because he lets Bones rub each inch of his chest and shoulders and arms, down to his fingers. He lets Bones massage into his muscles and touch him all over.
This is what he wants, every once in a while, this gentleness. The only one way that this moment could get better is if Bones were to kiss him. The thought stills him as he realizes that Bones has never kissed him, not even when they're fucking.
~*~
Jim brushes up against him as they're studying, a quick brush of leg to leg. When Bones looks up, Jim winks at him. It's the patented "you're coming home with me" look and Bones doesn't know if he wants to do this or not. This whatever (not a relationship, dammit) seems self-destructive and doomed to failure.
"Want to go for a drink?" Jim asks as he brushes his leg against Bones's again.
"Yeah, ok," Bones agrees.
Hours later, Bones is painfully sober and wondering if he can go through with this without the liquid courage. They keep getting separated so it's easy to fake being drunk because Jim's not there to see how much alcohol he's had. When he gets back to the table, it's covered by glasses and Jim has a full one in his hands.
"Bonesy!" Jim calls out and gestures towards the empty seat on his right before gesturing towards the girl at his left. "You know Althea?"
"Can't say that I do."
"We've got Astronavigation together. She's really smart," Jim says as Bones sits down. Bones resists flinching as Jim flings an arm over his shoulders. "And not just cause she chose to study with me."
"I'm sure you're studying," he mutters.
Jim stares at him and then grips his shoulder and shakes him. "Gotta pass it. Going to be a captain someday. Althea, you're looking at my future CMO."
"Nice to meet you," she says and then looks over their shoulders. "I'll leave you two to your date."
"Date?" Jim looks at Bones and Bones looks at Jim. "That what this is?"
"Don't think so," Bones says.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Let's get out of here," Jim says and then stands, stumbling into the table lightly. Yeah, Jim's drunk enough for them to fuck. Is he really going to do this?
He gets the answer a few minutes later as Jim climbs all over him as they enter Bones's dorm room. Bones arches into Jim's touch and lets him bear him down to the bed. His mouth is wet and hot against Bones's chest as he opens up his shirt and sucks a nipple into his mouth. His hands thrust into Jim's hair and hold on as he keeps kissing his way down. Finally, after what seems like far too long, his mouth is on Bones's cock.
"Yeah, like that, fuck yeah," Bones says as he keeps his hands on Jim's hair and starts to fuck Jim's mouth. Jim hums around his cock and Bones takes it as encouragement to keep talking and so he does, "God, your mouth, Jim, your fucking mouth and the things it does. Just like that, fucking yeah, just keep sucking, oh god, please keep sucking. Your mouth was made for sucking my dick, wasn't it?"
Jim keeps sucking and Bones keeps talking. "Been wanting to fuck your mouth for days. Every time you shove food in your mouth, I remember the way that you take my cock into it and I get hard. Fucking yeah, just like that, just like that, oh god, yes, just like that."
Bones arches as Jim's hand traces between his legs and presses into him dry. He's coming, Jim's name on his lips, as he gets trapped between Jim and Jim. Jim mouths his way back up Bones's body but Bones avoids his lips, leaning over to the bedside table and pulling lube out of the drawer. "Fuck me," he demands.
"Those are some magical words but I think you're missing the most important one," Jim says as he grabs the lube and coats his fingers.
"Now," Bones says and then starts to turn over. Jim's hand stops him.
"I want to do this face to face."
"Yeah, ok." Bones is definitely not drunk enough for that. He doesn't want to know what Jim looks like when he comes almost as much as he wants to know what Jim looks like when he comes.
"Don't sound so excited about it, Bones, you might make me come right here and now."
"You going to fuck me or talk me to death?"
Jim's fingers press into him, far too gentle for their normal drunken fumblings. Bones's legs fall open further as he pulls his knees to his chest and holds on. Bones watches Jim as Jim watches his fingers. It's enough to have his cock twitching. Jim has to notice because he looks up and smirks at Bones.
"I think talking you to death is working just fine."
"I think it's the fact that your fingers are in my ass when it should be your cock, already."
"Want to do this up right," Jim says as he adds a third finger. "You should see yourself. The way that you're all bent up and gagging for it. It's fucking hot, Bones."
"Then fuck me already," Bones demands. He can't take slow and steady and gentle. Their fucks are supposed to be hard and fast and rushed.
"All in good time, Bones," Jim says as he slowly withdraws his fingers and then slides his cock in. When he's fully seated, he leans in and mouths his way across Bones's neck, starting at one ear, ending at the other. He pulls back, thrusts again and then leans in, lips dangerously close to Bones's mouth. "You like that?"
His breath doesn't smell like alcohol. It barely registers before Jim pulls back and starts thrusting in earnest. They're both doing this sober. The realization that Jim wants to fuck him while he's sober sends Bones over the edge faster than the hand on his dick.
~*~
It's tempting to take the Deltan up on her offer but one look at Bones as he crosses the dining hall towards Jim has him turning her down. He'd rather have Bones.
The thought makes him pause. He'd put money down on the fact that Bones had been sober the last time they'd fucked. And Jim, himself, had definitely been sober.
"You not going for the Deltan? You feeling all right? Maybe we should take you over to the medlab and get you checked out," Bones says as he sits down.
"I'm not in the mood."
"Not in the mood? For a Deltan? Who are you and what have you done with Jim?" Bones starts poking and prodding him, attempting to get a laugh but Jim just finds himself getting turned on.
"I've got my eye on a bigger prize."
~*~
Bones isn't at all certain why Jim's comment in the dining hall had made him nervous but he finds himself watching every word and every gesture around Jim. He can't bring himself to drink in excess and then fuck Jim, any longer. The last time, when they'd both been sober, had been better than all the previous times.
He just draws the line at kissing.
~*~
They've been fucking around for well over a year now. Jim can't remember the last time he'd fucked someone other than Bones and that fact, alone, is enough to shock him. Surely it's been within the past month. Maybe a month and a half? Hell if he knows. All he knows is that they're faking being drunk at least twice a week.
He wants to stop faking and move right into some sort of relationship. He wants Bones's lips on his, he wants to kiss Bones until they both come just from the feel of lips against lips and tongue against tongue.
~*~
Bones doesn't know what he's doing with Jim any longer. He's confused and nervous all the time. It doesn't stop him from sinking into Jim or giving up his own body so that Jim can sink into him.
~*~
All Jim wants to do is toss his padd at the nearest wall. This xenophysiology class was complete crap as far as he's concerned. Why does he really need to know whether or not the Bzzit Khaht have double-jointed fingers or whether or not Aaamazzarites have three chambers to their heart or four? None of this makes any sort of difference to his life at this point in time. All he really needs to know is whether they're friend or foe and how he can take them down if they're a foe.
When he says as much to Bones, though, he gets a snort of derision. "Because, Jim, if they have double-jointed extremities, you'll need to change the sort of pressure you exert on the joint…"
Bones continues to ramble on but Jim stops listening as he watches Bones's lips move and form words. They're fascinatingly sexy and Jim can't help remembering the way that they'd felt wrapped around his cock the other night as they'd sucked one another off. He's getting hard just from remembering that and the way that Bones had held his hip the last time he'd fucked Jim or the way that Bones's lips feel against his skin, the way his teeth bite down so hard that Jim has bruises in the morning.
Those bruises are the only parts that remind him that the night before had actually happened cause it's not like he wakes up to Bones lying beside him in the morning (or afternoon, as is far too often the case) anyway. He's used to one of them sneaking out after the sex.
"Are you listening to me?" Bones asks, snapping his fingers in Jim's face. He reaches out and grabs those fingers.
"Course I am. It's important to know the physiology of all the various members of the galaxy so that we can use their weaknesses against them."
"You can let go of my hand," Bones orders quietly, tugging his hand but Jim only holds it tighter.
"I don't think so," Jim says as he tightens his grip further, reaching up another hand to hold on to Bones's wrist. Grinning, he decides that the next, most appropriate step, would be to kiss Bones's wrist just above where he's holding on and so he does. He doesn't expect the way that Bones punches him.
Holding his jaw, he stares at Bones. "What the hell you do that for?"
"Don't, Jim, just don't," Bones orders.
"So you can put your dick in my ass and I can put my dick in yours but I can't hold your hand?" And just like that, Jim's broken one of the few rules in his life that he's ever abided by: you don't talk about the fucking.
"Out," Bones says coldly as he points at the door.
"No. We're going to talk about this and why you're so freaked out when I touch you when it isn't dark and we're not drunk."
"Let me explain something. To have a conversation that involves a 'we', there has to be a 'we' to begin with. There isn't a 'we' in this conversation. There is only you forcing an issue that you should just leave the hell alone." Bones drops his hand and then grabs Jim's padd and pushes it at him.
"Dammit, Bones," he says as he grabs his padd before it falls to the ground. "So I can hold your dick but not your hand?"
"Fine, you want to push it? Fine!" Bones yells and then stands up and shoves at Jim's shoulders. "I'm not interested in holding your hand and playing at being your cuckolded boyfriend."
"Cuckolded? That's a bit old-fashioned even for you." Jim tries to make it into a joke.
"You can't even be serious about the conversation you started. You're an infant, Jim, a little baby wanting everyone's attention as you flit from person to person, sucking on whatever floats your boat. Well, I'm not interested."
"You're interested enough when you're drunk."
"Of course I am. Hell, Admiral Archer could offer to suck my dick when I'm drunk and I'd probably take him up on it. You're there and you're easy so why wouldn't I take you up on it when you're bending over and begging me to fuck you?"
The last, as far as Jim is concerned, is far too over the line, even for such a bitter man like Bones. Jim's never felt dirty and used before this moment. It's such a disgusting feeling, especially with the way that he'd started thinking about being more with Bones, with wanting to actually slide into that next part. Hell, he's been contemplating monogamy, for fuck's sake. He's imagined them on the same ship and sharing quarters. Christ, he's an idiot.
"Right," he says and tries to cover it with a smile. "I'd forgotten that. I'll have to send a message to him to let him know, should he ever get lonely."
"Jim," Bones says and Jim shakes his head.
"Look, I'll just head out and study in the library for a bit, gotta look up the physiology of Saurians anyway, and I don't have my notes on my padd."
He looks around for his padd and notices it lying on the ground. When had he dropped it? He can't remember but it doesn't matter, he just bends over, scoops it up and then heads out the door, ignoring the way that Bones calls out, "Jim, wait."
~*~
It's been three months since Bones had gone too far. He'd been ready to apologize but, in the morning, Jim had acted normal and Bones hadn't known what to say. He'd stepped over the line, no matter that he'd meant most of it in the moment. Jim's smile had been as bright as ever as he'd invited Bones out to breakfast and then asked him about the sleep cycle of Grazerites.
The friendship might feel normal but they haven't fucked in three months and Bones finds himself missing the way that Jim knows his body better than Bones himself. He misses the way that Jim would, whether they were fucking or not, touch his elbow or swing an arm over his shoulders. He misses the casual intimacies that have completely disappeared.
They still go out and Jim still flirts but Bones hasn't seen him go home with anyone since the argument. Once he starts thinking about it, he can't remember the last time he saw Jim go home with someone else. He doesn't know if that's because Jim's doing it when Bones can't see him or if there's something else going on.
"Want a drink?" Jim asks as they stand at the crowded bar.
Bones shifts closer and leans in to yell into Jim's ear but Jim shies away. Instead, Bones shakes his head and waits while Jim orders some sort of beer. While they wait, Bones scans the crowd and picks out a few people that are Jim's type. When Jim turns with his beer, Bones points to one of them. "You going for that one, tonight?"
"Too much work."
"What about that one?"
"Bones, I'll find my own, thanks. Come on, table's opening up. Let's grab it." Jim doesn't look back as he heads deeper into the bar to snag the table. Bones stares after him, watching the way that he grins and winks his way through the crowd, hips twisting as he avoids this person and then turning the other way for the next. Bones is sober but that doesn't stop him wanting Jim's body up against his. He wants the taste of Jim on his tongue, the tongue he hadn't been able to control as the insults flew. He'd meant the bit about monogamy but he shouldn’t' have said that he'd fuck Archer if he'd had enough to drink because it's not true. Jim's the only one he fucks, the only one he touches and lets touch him.
He wants to fix this but he doesn't, either. Jim needs others like most people need air. Besides, Bones is too needy, himself. He needs Jim's attention on him and only him.
Bones finally makes his way across the bar and sits down next to Jim. Under the guise of sprawling out, he presses his knee against Jim's and isn't at all surprised when Jim shifts away from him, quick and not at all subtle.
"You ready for summer session?" Bones asks as the silence spreads. It's something that he hates, the way that silence no longer seems comfortable between them.
"Just about. Pike's got a few leadership sessions he wants me to attend. There's one off-planet that looks interesting," Jim says and then turns his attention towards Bones, rambling on about how he's going to be the only cadet at this session and everyone else are lieutenant or higher ranked. Bones blocks the words and watches Jim, relieved to see the energy and exuberance that he'd gotten used to all come back. Before he realizes what he's doing, his hand is on Jim's arm and Jim's lips stop moving as he stares at Bones.
"I'm sorry," Bones says, hand clenching at Jim's arm.
"Yeah, me too, I can't believe it falls when we were supposed to go to that thing together," Jim says, looking over Bones's shoulder.
Bones reaches up, gripping Jim's chin lightly, trying to force him to make eye contact. "You know what I'm talking about."
"Leave it." Jim's eyes still stare over his shoulder.
"Dammit, Jim, I'm saying I'm sorry. I was over the line."
"What? You want to get a fuck? All you had to do was ask. We can go back to your place now unless you need a few drinks first. I'll go get 'em," Jim says, starting to stand up except for the grip on his face.
"Dammit, Jim! It's not about that." Bones is loud enough that a few of the people at tables near them stare. He lowers his voice and says again, "Dammit, Jim."
"It's fine. You're right. Who the hell would want to fall into any sort of relationship with me? You don't have to worry about it, I'm not looking for a boyfriend. You want a fuck, I'll give it to you."
"I don't want just a fuck."
"Then what do you want?"
"I don't know," Bones says.
Jim reaches up, grabs his hand and pushes it away. "I'll get us a drink. Be right back."
~*~
Jim can't help it, he still needs this. He replays the video of his second attempt at the Kobayashi Maru and the way that Bones had turned to him and stared as they lost. Again. He freezes the frame, keeps that intent gaze on his face as his hands open his trousers and he pulls at his cock.
He needs Bones's intense gaze on him, it's almost the same as when Bones fucks him up against a wall, that serious contemplation as if Jim has all the answers in the world. As if Jim is the world. Bones stares out at him from the screen and Jim leans in so all he can see is Bones. When he comes, he presses his forehead to Bones's on the screen and barely keeps himself from mouthing against it.
This monogamy thing sucks. Obviously Bones really doesn't want something with him and he's a fool for trying. It's just that he can't help it. He doesn't know what else to do to get Bones to realize, though. He should just give up because Bones isn't ever going to see that Jim's serious about him.
~*~
Seven months since the argument, two days since they'd escaped the Narada and the gravitational irregularity and Bones has finally had it. He waits until Jim walks past, on his way to engineering to check on something or other because, of course, Jim is the only one that can possibly check on whatever the issue is. Once Jim is slightly past him, he swipes at Jim's neck with the hypospray and grins when it sinks in.
"What the he-" Jim tries to speak but the sedative takes effect quickly and Bones grabs him as he slumps towards the ground.
"It's for your own good," Bones says and then carries him towards Bones's quarters. The argument will go over easier if Jim wakes up in private quarters rather than the medbay.
While Jim is out, Bones finally treats the strangulation bruising, the broken ribs, and the torn skin over his knuckles. He leaves Jim in his underwear and tucks him in while Bones calls the medbay and lets Chapel know that he's taking a few hours for some sleep. They've all been up for days, catnapping in stretches and Chapel doesn't begrudge him the time, only asking that she gets first dibs on the next sleep. Bones agrees and then falls into bed next to Jim, crawling under the covers and resting his hand on Jim's chest.
~*~
It takes him a few minutes to realize that his pillow is moving. It's another few moments until he realizes that the pillow is warm flesh. Another moment followed by a blurry-eyed look around and Jim realizes that he's got no clue where he's at except on top of Bones.
They've fucked in almost every position imaginable but he's never seen Bones sleeping. Bones looks younger in sleep though he's still got stress lines and worry written all over his face. Unsure of how lightly Bones sleeps, Jim shifts slowly so that he's resting on one arm and staring up at Bones. His other arm shifts so that he can touch Bones's face, smoothing out the worry lines.
"Nanow," Bones murmurs as he swats at Jim's hand. Jim stops brushing across his skin and, instead, holds the side of Bones's face and then lays back down. "Is better, Jim."
The alarm goes off a few minutes later. Bones mutters to himself before turning off the alarm and shifting so that he's holding Jim closer. Jim doesn't say a word, just absorbs the touch.
"Stop thinking, I'm trying to catch a couple more minutes of sleep," Bones mutters as his hand brushes down Jim's back.
"You sedated me," Jim whispers back.
"Course I did, you were running yourself into the ground." Bones's hand doesn't stop drifting up to Jim's hair and then back down across Jim's ass and up again, from right to left and back again. It's firm and comforting, lulling Jim towards just a bit more sleep even if he has a ship to run.
"Why aren't I in medbay, then?"
"Because if you're going to yell at me, I'd prefer you do it here where I don't have a crew to hear you berate me."
"But why am I here?" Jim asks and then waits while Bones's hand stills.
"Dammit, Jim," Bones sighs. "Because I…"
Jim just waits.
"Because you're my best friend," Bones finally says.
Right. That's that. Jim nods and then pushes up and away from Bones, looking for his clothes as he slips out of bed. He freezes at Bones's hand on his shoulder.
"Because you're more than that. I'm not good at this, you know that."
"I've been trying, Bones."
"I know, kid."
"Gave up a few days ago."
"I know, kid."
Jim just waits again, stays still as Bones wraps himself around him, hands on his stomach and across his chest. He can feel the heat radiating off of Bones's chest as it bores into his back. It's tempting to lean back against it.
"If you're willing to try again…"
"I can do monogamy, you know."
"I know, kid."
"You sure you haven't gotten a better offer from Archer or someone?"
Bones bites at his neck. "Didn't mean it."
"I know, old man."
"I'm not good at this but I care," Bones says and Jim finally leans back into the embrace.
"Good enough for me," he says and then grabs Bones's hand and mouths the palm, sucking what he can into his mouth and then nibbling.
"Jim," Bones breathes against his neck as he turns Jim around and then kisses him. Jim's been waiting two years for this, two far-too-long years for Bones's mouth on his. He'd imagined it thousands of times but his imagination isn't nearly clever enough to have imagined the way that Bones's tongue actually presses up against his, sweeping into his mouth and tracing his teeth. His imagination had failed at figuring out the taste of Bones (days-old stress, coffee, stimulants and Bones).
His imagination had failed at figuring out how Bones's hands grip into his hair as he controls the kiss. Jim doesn't let him have control for too long, though, as he pulls away and shoves Bones back towards the bed and then lands on him, kissing him this time, as he pins Bones's hands to the bed above their heads. Thrusting his hips, he tries to find a rhythm so that the brush of Bones's cock against his can get him to come though Jim thinks that Bones's mouth on his might be enough if it goes on forever.
His lungs are burning but he doesn't care because Bones is still kissing him, thrusting up as he pushes down and their cocks rub against one another. He refuses to let go of Bones's hands or his mouth as Bones lifts his knee between Jim's legs and increases the pressure further. Jim rides his leg, the friction burning and chafing.
When he finally has to get some air, he shifts so that he can pant into Bones's ear and neck, mouthing along the skin in time to his thrusts.
"Jim," Bones says, arching against him and struggling against the hold Jim has on his hands. "Jim, got to touch you."
"Please." Jim lets go of Bones's hands and lets himself be swept under as Bones takes control, flipping them over before touching him everywhere and then sucking his dick into that wet, amazing mouth.
It doesn't take much, just a couple of sucks and that wriggle of his tongue that Bones does so well, before Jim comes on a broken-off cry. Bones climbs back up his body and kisses him again. As good as the kiss had been before, kissing Bones with the taste of Jim in his mouth is even better.
After forcing his hand between them, he grips Bones's cock and then pulls up slowly before sliding back down, thumb pausing to brush the tip. Jim captures Bones's moan in his mouth as they continue to kiss, the thrust of their tongues matching the thrust of Bones's hips. Bones barely lasts longer than Jim had once Bones had really started paying attention to his cock. With a grin, Jim gathers what he can from their stomachs and then licks his fingers clean. The grin stays on his face as he slides down Bones's body and then licks at his stomach and then his cock.
When he slides back up Bones's body, he's met with more lips and tongue and teeth.
"Christ, kid," Bones mutters when they finally break apart.
"That good?"
"Yeah."
Jim sees Bones's brain churning with thoughts and he cups that unshaven cheek. "It's going to be brilliant."
"You're going to wear me out."
"Well, duh."
"Dammit, Jim," Bones says but there's no heat in the words. "You better mean this or I'll…"
"I mean it."
"So do I," he finally says.
As always, I'd love to hear what you thought.