A rubbery solution [R; Luffy/Zoro]
Title: A rubbery solution
By: worblehat
Fandom: One Piece
Pairing: Luffy/Zoro
Rating: R
Summary: Zoro and Luffy go shopping for condoms.
Notes: I've only seen 30 episodes of OP and this is my first fic, so...er. I did my best.
Word Count: 3,706
Zoro still didn't know how he'd ended up walking alongside Luffy on the nearest mainland on a search for something that made him blush just to say out loud. He did his best to keep his mind on other things, never glancing directly at his oblivious companion, who was busy remarking on all the surrounding houses, animals and people - the latter of which had gotten three newspapers thrown at them so far from older women with lines they insisted were God's feather-light touches on their extremely young skin.
Luffy's laughter was still reverberating in his ears as they opened the door to the small shop, Zoro sinking his head down just enough to be able to answer the manager's welcome before ducking towards the back row.
Condoms were always towards the back. It was a chance for people to be discreet, though Zoro very much doubted that anyone - especially anyone male - was concerned with keeping the fact that they planned to have sex a secret. He, on the other hand, wasn't sure when he'd be having sex, or if. And having Luffy nearby was-
Confusing.
He looked around. Where was Luffy, anyway?
"Excuse me, do you have any cond-"
Zoro shot across the store in a flash of green and embarrassment. His hand clamped tightly over Luffy's mouth, the resulting smack! making several customers turn around. Zoro grunted semi-apologetically at them and dragged Luffy towards the back - or tried to. The future Pirate King was pointing enthusiastically towards the front of the store, at the rack just below the register. No matter how hard Zoro tugged, Luffy stretched to make up the difference, fingers tight on the edge of the counter. It wasn't until Zoro felt sharp canines digging into his arm that he let go, watching his friend's arms retract to their normal length.
Luffy bounded excitedly forward, his eyes scanning the shelves. "The condoms are in front," he said loudly, ignoring the snickers and glares from nearby. He picked up two different boxes, glancing at the back before holding them up in front of Zoro's steadily-reddening face. "What does 'ribbed for her pleasure' mean?"
"...I don't know," said Zoro, his voice barely audible. "Just put it back."
"What about this one?" asked Luffy, holding up a different box that said Magnum in red lettering. "It guarantees a safe and sensual night of-"
"It doesn't matter!" said Zoro, frustrated. "It's not like I had anything in mind! It's just a...precaution," he added, catching himself. The way Luffy was talking, he couldn't be sure that the other man knew what a condom was for; he'd be damned if he was the person to explain it to him.
He grabbed the boxes from him, glancing down and choosing the one with red lettering to plunk down in front of the cash register. He fumbled with his katanas as he reached for the cash in his pocket, silently waiting for the moment the transaction would be over and they could book it the hell out of here.
Luffy leaned in, reaching towards the box, eyes scanning the back. He poked Zoro as he was being handed his change.
"What," asked Zoro through gritted teeth.
"It says this is made out of rubber," said Luffy, straw hat covering his eyes.
"So?"
Before he could ask what was going on, Zoro had felt money being pressed back into the small pouch he was carrying, the condoms placed back on the shelf, and Luffy dragging him back outside. Once they'd gotten to the tree Zoro had marked as the halfway point, he wrenched his hand out of the other's grip, looking at him wildly.
After all that...all the embarrassment... They'd come back empty-handed?
"WHY DID YOU TAKE MY CONDOMS?!" he exploded. "NOW WE HAVE TO GO BACK! AND THEY'RE GOING TO LOOK AT M-" Zoro faltered. He sighed, bringing one hand to his face. "Go back to the ship," he said in a strained voice. "I'll meet you there."
"Zoro?" asked Luffy blankly.
Ignoring his friend, Zoro began to walk, teeth grating as he felt stretched limbs impeding his movements.
"Let go!" he shouted.
Luffy was shouting something, but Zoro couldn't hear. He was already thinking about having to walk back into that store; to go up to the counter - it would be at the very front, wouldn't it? - and pay for condoms in full view of everyone. And for what? Something that probably would never happen. Sanji would either end up using the things or Usopp would mistake them for water balloons, creating yet another embarrassing incident he would - unsuccessfully - attempt to block from his memory.
It was getting physically painful to keep resisting; Zoro relented, his body going slack, sighing as the extended limbs unwrapped from his body. He turned around to look at Luffy, who was grinning at him as if he'd just gotten a fantastic idea.
"I'll be your condom!" he said confidently.
Zoro blinked. ".........Huh?"
"I'll help you have sex!" said Luffy.
You idiot, thought the swordsman. Those are two different things.
He lowered his head. "I refuse."
"I won't look," promised Luffy. "And it'll save us a lot of money!"
Because of all the sex I'm not having?
"We could use the extra money to buy more meat!" said Luffy, speaking mostly to himself now; a thin line of drool at his chin.
Zoro leaned forward, wiping away at said drool. "Come on, let's go back to the ship."
---
He awoke to a black sky littered with stars...and an almost painfully hard erection. Thankfully, this time it didn't happen with anyone else around; he'd been sleeping on the deck lately, where it was cold. But that was preferable to Luffy's daily inquiries as to whether his additional services were needed or not.
Zoro really wish he would stop asking. Ever since their venture onto that store, his thoughts had taken a turn. While he could control them more during the day, at night they had free reign, and he ended up dreaming about all manner of things, most of which involved creativity on how Luffy's malleable limbs could be put to use. Some of the ideas he knew would probably appear comical, but his cock had him convinced it would be worth it for how good it would feel.
Standing with some difficulty, he walked towards the rail, looking out at at the ocean. He was still working on how to get his body to relax and his erection to die down or at least be less obvious when a clap on the back startled him.
"...Luffy," he said with a trace of terror. Shit. Maybe if I just turn a little to the side... he thought, panicking.
Dark eyes looked at him strangely. "Are you peeing into the ocean?"
"Uh..." Zoro's panic increased. "...Yeah. I am." He pretended to do up his pants and looked at Luffy. It was dark enough to keep his current "situation" relatively unnoticeable.
...At least, he hoped it was.
"Zoro?"
"What?"
"What does a condom do?"
A long, drawn-out silence followed. Had they not been in the middle of of the ocean, Zoro was pretty sure he would have heard cicadas in the background.
The silence was followed by the loud sound of flesh hitting flesh as Zoro brought his palm to his face. "You offered to be my condom without even knowing what it was?"
Luffy clapped him on the back. "You can show me!"
"No."
"Why not?" prodded Luffy.
"Because! I've chosen a life of celibacy!" said Zoro. It wasn't far from the truth, anyway; it wasn't as if he'd had sex yet in his life, and with the thoughts currently running through his head as he looked down at he future Pirate King, he wasn't likely to be having sex any time soon.
"Then why were you buying condoms?"
"Just in case!"
Luffy's brow furrowed. "In case of what?"
"Nevermind!" Zoro's cheeks darkened and he turned to leave before he could say embarrass himself any more.
Which would have worked perfectly, except Luffy followed.
"Does sex make you nervous?"
"...A little," conceded Zoro.
Luffy tilted his head to the side. "Why?"
"Why?" He looked at the shorter boy in disbelief. "Because it's... It's..." His shoulders hunched over. "I don't know."
"Are you bad at it?"
"No!"
"Have you done it?"
"...No..."
"How do you know you're not really bad at it if you haven't even done it before?"
"I just know, all right?!"
Luffy paused. "Is that why you need the condom?"
"...What?"
"Does it help you be good at it?"
"No, it-" Zoro sighed. "You can get diseases if you don't use a condom."
"Hmm." Luffy rubbed at his chin as he frowned: a sign that he was thinking hard about something. When he looked up at Zoro, he smiled. "So if you had sex with me, you wouldn't have to worry about that!"
"..."
Zoro barely felt the fingers poking at his face - barely heard the confused voice asking him if he was okay, if he had died, if he didn't mind Luffy taking his three katanas and selling them to buy meat.
His arm shot out, hand closing in tightly over Luffy's wrist. "Sell those and I'll-"
"You're awake! Good," said Luffy with a grin.
"Yes, I'm awake," grunted Zoro. Except...something was wrong. He was inside, not on the deck. And he was lying on something soft.
And something slightly less soft was lying on him.
"L-Luffy?" he asked.
"Zoro?"
"What are you doing?"
"Waiting for you to show me how to have sex," answered Luffy, scratching at his nose.
"..."
"If you don't know, I can ask Sanji how-"
"No."
Luffy stared blankly.
Zoro sighed. Taking his time, he ran his fingers along Luffy's arm, bringing them up to his head and pushing the straw hat off. He placed it carefully to the side before running his hands through the black hair. It was surprisingly soft, and - judging from the glazed look in Luffy's eyes - felt god to touch. Or I might just be putting him to sleep, thought Zoro with some concern.
Heart hammering in his chest below Luffy's palm, he slowly inclined his head upward, fingers fisting gently at the base of Luffy's neck, urging him closer. His eyes closed as Luffy's lips met his - opening when Luffy's mouth parted just a fraction, the wet slide of Luffy's tongue against his lips making him freeze.
"Sorry," said Luffy. "My lips were dry. I didn't mean to lick yours, too."
"..."
"Zoro?"
"Do...that again," he answered, his voice incredibly strained.
"Lick my lips?"
"No," said Zoro. "Mine."
He didn't know whether to laugh or groan when Luffy leaned down, licking a clear path down his lips and pulling back, asking, "Did we just have sex?"
"...No," sighed Zoro. "You just slobbered on me."
"Oh." Luffy laughed. "Then show me how to do it!"
"...Fine." Zoro wasted no time, crushing his mouth against Luffy's, silencing him before drawing back slightly, running the tip of his tongue along Luffy's lips; sliding it between, mouth opening a little wider.
Until he noticed that Luffy wasn't breathing.
He broke away, frowning. "Breathe through your nose," he said.
Luffy coughed, struggling to get air back into his lungs. "What?"
"You have to breathe when you do that," explained Zoro. Maybe this is a bad idea, he thought. He has no idea what he's doing. ...And neither do I.
"Maybe we shouldn't-" he began to say, words cut off as Luffy leaned down, mimicking Zoro's movements, tongue warm and wet as it sought entrance into his mouth. Zoro obliged, one hand traveling down Luffy's back, sneaking beneath his shirt and touching the tanned skin roughly, pressing it more firmly against him as he moaned.
Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge, he decided briefly before he realised something very suddenly.
Luffy's breathing had quickened, one hand fisted in the short green hair as he rubbed himself shallowly against Zoro. He'd done it without being prompted; more than that, he was quickly hardening against Zoro's thigh.
He pressed upwards, against the blunt length so close to his own, gripping Luffy more tightly. His body warmed and he forced himself to stop, knowing if he didn't, this would be over all too soon.
"Why did we stop?" asked Luffy, his voice sounding hazy. "I was breathing this time!"
"I know," said Zoro, a faint grin on his face. "But sex doesn't work as well with clothes on."
"...Oh." Without formally being prompted, Luffy kicked out of his shorts, dragging his red shirt over his head, sandals dropping to the floor.
Zoro gaped, hands fumbling to rush off his own clothing as Luffy watched, not saying anything for once. Just shy of a minute later, the swordsman lie back down on the bed, Luffy straddling him. The heat from the skin-to-skin contact almost made Zoro come. He'd never been this close to anyone before; he hardly even hugged.
"You're leaking," said Luffy.
"What?"
Fingers traced the head of his cock, swiping at the small mess of white. "Here," he said, raising his thumb so Zoro could see.
Zoro's cheeks darkened. "That...happens sometimes."
"I thought more was supposed to come out," said Luffy, turning the thumb towards him, inspecting it.
"Only at the end," explained Zoro, a dark shade of red now.
"Hmm." Luffy licked at the residue, a thoughtful look on his face.
Zoro stared.
"Yours tastes better than mine does," said Luffy evenly.
Zoro stared; harder this time. "You- You, uh... Tasted...?" he asked awkwardly, not wanting to actually say it.
"Yup!" said Luffy, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. "I wasn't sure what it was the first time. I thought it was food. At first, I blamed Sanji's cooking but it kept happening and I realised it was coming from me."
"O-Oh," stammered Zoro. So, Luffy did think about sex - at least when he was unconscious, if at no other time. It was a comforting thought in some aspects. "Were you dreaming?"
"I can't remember."
Son of a bitch.
"But it felt..." Luffy trailed off, deciding on the proper word. "Okay."
"Just okay?!" asked Zoro incredulously.
"Yeah, just okay," said Luffy, looking at him strangely.
Zoro chuckled, reaching up to trace the scar on Luffy's cheek. His laughter subsided when Luffy re-adjusted, moving forward on Zoro's torso just a little, his head lowering, their mouths meeting. He made a small noise of protest as Luffy raised his head, looking down at him.
"I remember one of the dreams now," he said, his words rushed and slightly breathless. He raised himself upward, stretching to read into one of the other rooms; retracting with a smaller bottle of scented lotion - no doubt Nami's.
Zoro hissed as cold liquid coated his cock, until a warm hand began to massage gently; hissing turning fast into moans. The next few seconds seemed to happen quickly: Luffy's hands stretching slightly, he held Zoro's cock beneath him, body sinking slowly on top of it until Zoro could feel tightness enveloping him, hot and firm. He struggled not to move, seeing Luffy's face.
"Should I take it out?" he asked, concern winning out over the selfish desire to start thrusting inside that tender heat until he came - which, judging by the tightening in his stomach, wouldn't be very long.
Luffy spoke, his words unintelligible.
"What?" asked Zoro, placing his hands at Luffy's thighs, telling himself he was doing it to be comforting and not because he was fast becoming addicted to how the tanned skin felt under his fingers.
"Zoro."
That was all Luffy said, but somehow, Zoro understood. He steadied Luffy on top of him, gripping the thighs tightly as he pulled out just past halfway before slowly sliding himself back in, Luffy's body fighting the intrusion. He repeated the action, body frustrated at how good it felt, his mind forcing himself to stay at the same pace, letting Luffy's body adjust to the thick length continually pushing inside.
His hands landed on Zoro's waist as he began to rock backward - slow at first, knees bending to meet Zoro's movements. The grip on his thighs tightened further as he began to set a faster pace, Zoro thrusting more intently. He felt one hand leave his stomach and watched as it encircled Luffy's cock, moving back and forth.
The sounds Luffy was making made it hard to focus; part of Zoro just wanted to watch while another, more insistent part was telling him to continue. His eyes moved back and forth, from Luffy's hand to his face, immensely enjoying both sights until-
"Luffy, I'm- Nnnngh," he moaned, burying himself inside Luffy, eyes closing involuntarily as he came.
Pushing himself downward, Luffy's back arched, hand moving as he got closer, moaning low as his release shot across Zoro's stomach, his own body slowly being filled by a similarly thick, wet sensation.
He fell on top of Zoro, snoring.
Which might have been a problem, had Zoro not fallen asleep just two seconds before.
---
Zoro was dreaming. He'd just landed a nearly-fatal blow on Mihawk's chest and he was grinning. He watched as Mihawk fell, stepping forward and placing a foot on top of his chest.
"That...isn't the way to stop bleeding," sputtered Mihawk, tongue red with blood.
"I wasn't trying to-"
"My first aid kid...where is it?" asked Mihawk, his voice rising. "Where is it?"
"Your what?" asked Zoro, confused.
"Where is it?" asked Mihawk, screaming now. "Where'd you put it? WHERE IS IT?"
"I don't-"
The door kicked open and Sanji strode inside. He looked at the sleepy-eyed Zoro, glaring menacingly. "Where is it?" he demanded.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" asked Zoro with a yawn.
"My lotion!" said Sanji. "I was going to give that to- There it is!" He lunged forward, grabbing the opened bottle from the floor, sending more glares Zoro's way before walking back out of the room.
Zoro yawned again.
The door opened, more slowly this time. "Hey...this isn't your room," said Sanji.
"Get your swirly-eyebrowed face out of here," said Zoro, reaching for one of his katanas, unsheathing it and throwing it at the door. It closed as half of the metal sliced through it.
Zoro yawned, tempted to go back to sleep. The smell of food wafted through the ship, urging him to put on his clothes and head towards it.
Making sure to remove and sheathe his katana before leaving, Zoro closed the door and walked out onto the deck first, breathing in the air.
"You're awake!" said Luffy, walking towards him.
"Yeah," said Zoro, smiling awkwardly. What am I supposed to say to him? Does he even remember what happened? What if- Oh fuck. What if he thinks it was just a dream? But no, I was naked, so he had to have figured it out... But this is Luffy, maybe he didn't even notice me there. Maybe I should shut up and let it work itself out. If I don't say anything, he might-
"Are you thinking about last night?" asked Luffy.
Shit. "Um...a little," he admitted.
"Which part was the condom?"
"Huh?" Zoro blanched. "We...didn't end up using one."
"Oh. Does that mean you have a disease?"
"I...don't think so," said Zoro. "You've never done that with anyone before, have you?"
"No," said Luffy. Zoro sighed with relief. "I don't think so, anyway."
"..."
"Do you want to have Nami check to see if you have an sex infection?" asked Luffy helpfully.
"No."
"Nami! Zoro wants-" His words were cut off as Zoro clamped his hand over the wide mouth.
"I'm fine," he growled.
Luffy removed the hand, turning just enough to look at Zoro. "You sound like an angry dog when you growl like that."
"So?"
Luffy laughed. Zoro let his hands drop, smiling.
"Hey, uh..." He struggled for the words. "Can you- I mean- Does every part of you stretch?"
"Hmm," said Luffy. "I think so. Why?"
"There's...something I want to try...next time," said Zoro, knowing his face was growing red but forcing himself not to turn away. The greatest swordsman couldn't afford to let embarrassment win out!
"Like what?"
"I thought we could simultaneously-" Zoro stopped when he saw the confused look on Luffy's face. "Nevermind. I'll just show you."
"Do I have to remember to breathe again?" asked Luffy.
"Are you going swimming?" asked Nami, joining them.
"No, we're going to have se-"
Zoro's arm all but suffocated Luffy's face as he shut him up.
"Have se?" asked Nami, one eyebrow arching upward. He can't possibly mean... This is Luffy. I must be dehydrated and imagining things.
"Luffy's dehydrated and imagining things," said Zoro, making Nami jump.
Is he a mind reader? Shit! I have to stop thinking... I can't do that! Zoro, stop reading my thoughts! Go get him some water already!
"I'm going to go get him some water," said Zoro, dragging him off.
Nami trembled. I'm in big trouble now if he can hear what I'm thinking...
"With that faraway look in your eyes, it's obvious you are pining for me~!" said Sanji, taking Nami's hand in his, attempting to draw her closer. "I'm here, my lo-ughhhh..." He doubled over, Nami's fist withdrawing from his stomach.
"Leave me alone!" said Nami, racing to her room and closing the door.
Usopp snickered from behind the cook, chewing on a spare roll he'd found. "Guess love really does hurt!"
Sanji glared. "Shut up."
"Okay."
By: worblehat
Fandom: One Piece
Pairing: Luffy/Zoro
Rating: R
Summary: Zoro and Luffy go shopping for condoms.
Notes: I've only seen 30 episodes of OP and this is my first fic, so...er. I did my best.
Word Count: 3,706
Zoro still didn't know how he'd ended up walking alongside Luffy on the nearest mainland on a search for something that made him blush just to say out loud. He did his best to keep his mind on other things, never glancing directly at his oblivious companion, who was busy remarking on all the surrounding houses, animals and people - the latter of which had gotten three newspapers thrown at them so far from older women with lines they insisted were God's feather-light touches on their extremely young skin.
Luffy's laughter was still reverberating in his ears as they opened the door to the small shop, Zoro sinking his head down just enough to be able to answer the manager's welcome before ducking towards the back row.
Condoms were always towards the back. It was a chance for people to be discreet, though Zoro very much doubted that anyone - especially anyone male - was concerned with keeping the fact that they planned to have sex a secret. He, on the other hand, wasn't sure when he'd be having sex, or if. And having Luffy nearby was-
Confusing.
He looked around. Where was Luffy, anyway?
"Excuse me, do you have any cond-"
Zoro shot across the store in a flash of green and embarrassment. His hand clamped tightly over Luffy's mouth, the resulting smack! making several customers turn around. Zoro grunted semi-apologetically at them and dragged Luffy towards the back - or tried to. The future Pirate King was pointing enthusiastically towards the front of the store, at the rack just below the register. No matter how hard Zoro tugged, Luffy stretched to make up the difference, fingers tight on the edge of the counter. It wasn't until Zoro felt sharp canines digging into his arm that he let go, watching his friend's arms retract to their normal length.
Luffy bounded excitedly forward, his eyes scanning the shelves. "The condoms are in front," he said loudly, ignoring the snickers and glares from nearby. He picked up two different boxes, glancing at the back before holding them up in front of Zoro's steadily-reddening face. "What does 'ribbed for her pleasure' mean?"
"...I don't know," said Zoro, his voice barely audible. "Just put it back."
"What about this one?" asked Luffy, holding up a different box that said Magnum in red lettering. "It guarantees a safe and sensual night of-"
"It doesn't matter!" said Zoro, frustrated. "It's not like I had anything in mind! It's just a...precaution," he added, catching himself. The way Luffy was talking, he couldn't be sure that the other man knew what a condom was for; he'd be damned if he was the person to explain it to him.
He grabbed the boxes from him, glancing down and choosing the one with red lettering to plunk down in front of the cash register. He fumbled with his katanas as he reached for the cash in his pocket, silently waiting for the moment the transaction would be over and they could book it the hell out of here.
Luffy leaned in, reaching towards the box, eyes scanning the back. He poked Zoro as he was being handed his change.
"What," asked Zoro through gritted teeth.
"It says this is made out of rubber," said Luffy, straw hat covering his eyes.
"So?"
Before he could ask what was going on, Zoro had felt money being pressed back into the small pouch he was carrying, the condoms placed back on the shelf, and Luffy dragging him back outside. Once they'd gotten to the tree Zoro had marked as the halfway point, he wrenched his hand out of the other's grip, looking at him wildly.
After all that...all the embarrassment... They'd come back empty-handed?
"WHY DID YOU TAKE MY CONDOMS?!" he exploded. "NOW WE HAVE TO GO BACK! AND THEY'RE GOING TO LOOK AT M-" Zoro faltered. He sighed, bringing one hand to his face. "Go back to the ship," he said in a strained voice. "I'll meet you there."
"Zoro?" asked Luffy blankly.
Ignoring his friend, Zoro began to walk, teeth grating as he felt stretched limbs impeding his movements.
"Let go!" he shouted.
Luffy was shouting something, but Zoro couldn't hear. He was already thinking about having to walk back into that store; to go up to the counter - it would be at the very front, wouldn't it? - and pay for condoms in full view of everyone. And for what? Something that probably would never happen. Sanji would either end up using the things or Usopp would mistake them for water balloons, creating yet another embarrassing incident he would - unsuccessfully - attempt to block from his memory.
It was getting physically painful to keep resisting; Zoro relented, his body going slack, sighing as the extended limbs unwrapped from his body. He turned around to look at Luffy, who was grinning at him as if he'd just gotten a fantastic idea.
"I'll be your condom!" he said confidently.
Zoro blinked. ".........Huh?"
"I'll help you have sex!" said Luffy.
You idiot, thought the swordsman. Those are two different things.
He lowered his head. "I refuse."
"I won't look," promised Luffy. "And it'll save us a lot of money!"
Because of all the sex I'm not having?
"We could use the extra money to buy more meat!" said Luffy, speaking mostly to himself now; a thin line of drool at his chin.
Zoro leaned forward, wiping away at said drool. "Come on, let's go back to the ship."
---
He awoke to a black sky littered with stars...and an almost painfully hard erection. Thankfully, this time it didn't happen with anyone else around; he'd been sleeping on the deck lately, where it was cold. But that was preferable to Luffy's daily inquiries as to whether his additional services were needed or not.
Zoro really wish he would stop asking. Ever since their venture onto that store, his thoughts had taken a turn. While he could control them more during the day, at night they had free reign, and he ended up dreaming about all manner of things, most of which involved creativity on how Luffy's malleable limbs could be put to use. Some of the ideas he knew would probably appear comical, but his cock had him convinced it would be worth it for how good it would feel.
Standing with some difficulty, he walked towards the rail, looking out at at the ocean. He was still working on how to get his body to relax and his erection to die down or at least be less obvious when a clap on the back startled him.
"...Luffy," he said with a trace of terror. Shit. Maybe if I just turn a little to the side... he thought, panicking.
Dark eyes looked at him strangely. "Are you peeing into the ocean?"
"Uh..." Zoro's panic increased. "...Yeah. I am." He pretended to do up his pants and looked at Luffy. It was dark enough to keep his current "situation" relatively unnoticeable.
...At least, he hoped it was.
"Zoro?"
"What?"
"What does a condom do?"
A long, drawn-out silence followed. Had they not been in the middle of of the ocean, Zoro was pretty sure he would have heard cicadas in the background.
The silence was followed by the loud sound of flesh hitting flesh as Zoro brought his palm to his face. "You offered to be my condom without even knowing what it was?"
Luffy clapped him on the back. "You can show me!"
"No."
"Why not?" prodded Luffy.
"Because! I've chosen a life of celibacy!" said Zoro. It wasn't far from the truth, anyway; it wasn't as if he'd had sex yet in his life, and with the thoughts currently running through his head as he looked down at he future Pirate King, he wasn't likely to be having sex any time soon.
"Then why were you buying condoms?"
"Just in case!"
Luffy's brow furrowed. "In case of what?"
"Nevermind!" Zoro's cheeks darkened and he turned to leave before he could say embarrass himself any more.
Which would have worked perfectly, except Luffy followed.
"Does sex make you nervous?"
"...A little," conceded Zoro.
Luffy tilted his head to the side. "Why?"
"Why?" He looked at the shorter boy in disbelief. "Because it's... It's..." His shoulders hunched over. "I don't know."
"Are you bad at it?"
"No!"
"Have you done it?"
"...No..."
"How do you know you're not really bad at it if you haven't even done it before?"
"I just know, all right?!"
Luffy paused. "Is that why you need the condom?"
"...What?"
"Does it help you be good at it?"
"No, it-" Zoro sighed. "You can get diseases if you don't use a condom."
"Hmm." Luffy rubbed at his chin as he frowned: a sign that he was thinking hard about something. When he looked up at Zoro, he smiled. "So if you had sex with me, you wouldn't have to worry about that!"
"..."
Zoro barely felt the fingers poking at his face - barely heard the confused voice asking him if he was okay, if he had died, if he didn't mind Luffy taking his three katanas and selling them to buy meat.
His arm shot out, hand closing in tightly over Luffy's wrist. "Sell those and I'll-"
"You're awake! Good," said Luffy with a grin.
"Yes, I'm awake," grunted Zoro. Except...something was wrong. He was inside, not on the deck. And he was lying on something soft.
And something slightly less soft was lying on him.
"L-Luffy?" he asked.
"Zoro?"
"What are you doing?"
"Waiting for you to show me how to have sex," answered Luffy, scratching at his nose.
"..."
"If you don't know, I can ask Sanji how-"
"No."
Luffy stared blankly.
Zoro sighed. Taking his time, he ran his fingers along Luffy's arm, bringing them up to his head and pushing the straw hat off. He placed it carefully to the side before running his hands through the black hair. It was surprisingly soft, and - judging from the glazed look in Luffy's eyes - felt god to touch. Or I might just be putting him to sleep, thought Zoro with some concern.
Heart hammering in his chest below Luffy's palm, he slowly inclined his head upward, fingers fisting gently at the base of Luffy's neck, urging him closer. His eyes closed as Luffy's lips met his - opening when Luffy's mouth parted just a fraction, the wet slide of Luffy's tongue against his lips making him freeze.
"Sorry," said Luffy. "My lips were dry. I didn't mean to lick yours, too."
"..."
"Zoro?"
"Do...that again," he answered, his voice incredibly strained.
"Lick my lips?"
"No," said Zoro. "Mine."
He didn't know whether to laugh or groan when Luffy leaned down, licking a clear path down his lips and pulling back, asking, "Did we just have sex?"
"...No," sighed Zoro. "You just slobbered on me."
"Oh." Luffy laughed. "Then show me how to do it!"
"...Fine." Zoro wasted no time, crushing his mouth against Luffy's, silencing him before drawing back slightly, running the tip of his tongue along Luffy's lips; sliding it between, mouth opening a little wider.
Until he noticed that Luffy wasn't breathing.
He broke away, frowning. "Breathe through your nose," he said.
Luffy coughed, struggling to get air back into his lungs. "What?"
"You have to breathe when you do that," explained Zoro. Maybe this is a bad idea, he thought. He has no idea what he's doing. ...And neither do I.
"Maybe we shouldn't-" he began to say, words cut off as Luffy leaned down, mimicking Zoro's movements, tongue warm and wet as it sought entrance into his mouth. Zoro obliged, one hand traveling down Luffy's back, sneaking beneath his shirt and touching the tanned skin roughly, pressing it more firmly against him as he moaned.
Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge, he decided briefly before he realised something very suddenly.
Luffy's breathing had quickened, one hand fisted in the short green hair as he rubbed himself shallowly against Zoro. He'd done it without being prompted; more than that, he was quickly hardening against Zoro's thigh.
He pressed upwards, against the blunt length so close to his own, gripping Luffy more tightly. His body warmed and he forced himself to stop, knowing if he didn't, this would be over all too soon.
"Why did we stop?" asked Luffy, his voice sounding hazy. "I was breathing this time!"
"I know," said Zoro, a faint grin on his face. "But sex doesn't work as well with clothes on."
"...Oh." Without formally being prompted, Luffy kicked out of his shorts, dragging his red shirt over his head, sandals dropping to the floor.
Zoro gaped, hands fumbling to rush off his own clothing as Luffy watched, not saying anything for once. Just shy of a minute later, the swordsman lie back down on the bed, Luffy straddling him. The heat from the skin-to-skin contact almost made Zoro come. He'd never been this close to anyone before; he hardly even hugged.
"You're leaking," said Luffy.
"What?"
Fingers traced the head of his cock, swiping at the small mess of white. "Here," he said, raising his thumb so Zoro could see.
Zoro's cheeks darkened. "That...happens sometimes."
"I thought more was supposed to come out," said Luffy, turning the thumb towards him, inspecting it.
"Only at the end," explained Zoro, a dark shade of red now.
"Hmm." Luffy licked at the residue, a thoughtful look on his face.
Zoro stared.
"Yours tastes better than mine does," said Luffy evenly.
Zoro stared; harder this time. "You- You, uh... Tasted...?" he asked awkwardly, not wanting to actually say it.
"Yup!" said Luffy, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. "I wasn't sure what it was the first time. I thought it was food. At first, I blamed Sanji's cooking but it kept happening and I realised it was coming from me."
"O-Oh," stammered Zoro. So, Luffy did think about sex - at least when he was unconscious, if at no other time. It was a comforting thought in some aspects. "Were you dreaming?"
"I can't remember."
Son of a bitch.
"But it felt..." Luffy trailed off, deciding on the proper word. "Okay."
"Just okay?!" asked Zoro incredulously.
"Yeah, just okay," said Luffy, looking at him strangely.
Zoro chuckled, reaching up to trace the scar on Luffy's cheek. His laughter subsided when Luffy re-adjusted, moving forward on Zoro's torso just a little, his head lowering, their mouths meeting. He made a small noise of protest as Luffy raised his head, looking down at him.
"I remember one of the dreams now," he said, his words rushed and slightly breathless. He raised himself upward, stretching to read into one of the other rooms; retracting with a smaller bottle of scented lotion - no doubt Nami's.
Zoro hissed as cold liquid coated his cock, until a warm hand began to massage gently; hissing turning fast into moans. The next few seconds seemed to happen quickly: Luffy's hands stretching slightly, he held Zoro's cock beneath him, body sinking slowly on top of it until Zoro could feel tightness enveloping him, hot and firm. He struggled not to move, seeing Luffy's face.
"Should I take it out?" he asked, concern winning out over the selfish desire to start thrusting inside that tender heat until he came - which, judging by the tightening in his stomach, wouldn't be very long.
Luffy spoke, his words unintelligible.
"What?" asked Zoro, placing his hands at Luffy's thighs, telling himself he was doing it to be comforting and not because he was fast becoming addicted to how the tanned skin felt under his fingers.
"Zoro."
That was all Luffy said, but somehow, Zoro understood. He steadied Luffy on top of him, gripping the thighs tightly as he pulled out just past halfway before slowly sliding himself back in, Luffy's body fighting the intrusion. He repeated the action, body frustrated at how good it felt, his mind forcing himself to stay at the same pace, letting Luffy's body adjust to the thick length continually pushing inside.
His hands landed on Zoro's waist as he began to rock backward - slow at first, knees bending to meet Zoro's movements. The grip on his thighs tightened further as he began to set a faster pace, Zoro thrusting more intently. He felt one hand leave his stomach and watched as it encircled Luffy's cock, moving back and forth.
The sounds Luffy was making made it hard to focus; part of Zoro just wanted to watch while another, more insistent part was telling him to continue. His eyes moved back and forth, from Luffy's hand to his face, immensely enjoying both sights until-
"Luffy, I'm- Nnnngh," he moaned, burying himself inside Luffy, eyes closing involuntarily as he came.
Pushing himself downward, Luffy's back arched, hand moving as he got closer, moaning low as his release shot across Zoro's stomach, his own body slowly being filled by a similarly thick, wet sensation.
He fell on top of Zoro, snoring.
Which might have been a problem, had Zoro not fallen asleep just two seconds before.
---
Zoro was dreaming. He'd just landed a nearly-fatal blow on Mihawk's chest and he was grinning. He watched as Mihawk fell, stepping forward and placing a foot on top of his chest.
"That...isn't the way to stop bleeding," sputtered Mihawk, tongue red with blood.
"I wasn't trying to-"
"My first aid kid...where is it?" asked Mihawk, his voice rising. "Where is it?"
"Your what?" asked Zoro, confused.
"Where is it?" asked Mihawk, screaming now. "Where'd you put it? WHERE IS IT?"
"I don't-"
The door kicked open and Sanji strode inside. He looked at the sleepy-eyed Zoro, glaring menacingly. "Where is it?" he demanded.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" asked Zoro with a yawn.
"My lotion!" said Sanji. "I was going to give that to- There it is!" He lunged forward, grabbing the opened bottle from the floor, sending more glares Zoro's way before walking back out of the room.
Zoro yawned again.
The door opened, more slowly this time. "Hey...this isn't your room," said Sanji.
"Get your swirly-eyebrowed face out of here," said Zoro, reaching for one of his katanas, unsheathing it and throwing it at the door. It closed as half of the metal sliced through it.
Zoro yawned, tempted to go back to sleep. The smell of food wafted through the ship, urging him to put on his clothes and head towards it.
Making sure to remove and sheathe his katana before leaving, Zoro closed the door and walked out onto the deck first, breathing in the air.
"You're awake!" said Luffy, walking towards him.
"Yeah," said Zoro, smiling awkwardly. What am I supposed to say to him? Does he even remember what happened? What if- Oh fuck. What if he thinks it was just a dream? But no, I was naked, so he had to have figured it out... But this is Luffy, maybe he didn't even notice me there. Maybe I should shut up and let it work itself out. If I don't say anything, he might-
"Are you thinking about last night?" asked Luffy.
Shit. "Um...a little," he admitted.
"Which part was the condom?"
"Huh?" Zoro blanched. "We...didn't end up using one."
"Oh. Does that mean you have a disease?"
"I...don't think so," said Zoro. "You've never done that with anyone before, have you?"
"No," said Luffy. Zoro sighed with relief. "I don't think so, anyway."
"..."
"Do you want to have Nami check to see if you have an sex infection?" asked Luffy helpfully.
"No."
"Nami! Zoro wants-" His words were cut off as Zoro clamped his hand over the wide mouth.
"I'm fine," he growled.
Luffy removed the hand, turning just enough to look at Zoro. "You sound like an angry dog when you growl like that."
"So?"
Luffy laughed. Zoro let his hands drop, smiling.
"Hey, uh..." He struggled for the words. "Can you- I mean- Does every part of you stretch?"
"Hmm," said Luffy. "I think so. Why?"
"There's...something I want to try...next time," said Zoro, knowing his face was growing red but forcing himself not to turn away. The greatest swordsman couldn't afford to let embarrassment win out!
"Like what?"
"I thought we could simultaneously-" Zoro stopped when he saw the confused look on Luffy's face. "Nevermind. I'll just show you."
"Do I have to remember to breathe again?" asked Luffy.
"Are you going swimming?" asked Nami, joining them.
"No, we're going to have se-"
Zoro's arm all but suffocated Luffy's face as he shut him up.
"Have se?" asked Nami, one eyebrow arching upward. He can't possibly mean... This is Luffy. I must be dehydrated and imagining things.
"Luffy's dehydrated and imagining things," said Zoro, making Nami jump.
Is he a mind reader? Shit! I have to stop thinking... I can't do that! Zoro, stop reading my thoughts! Go get him some water already!
"I'm going to go get him some water," said Zoro, dragging him off.
Nami trembled. I'm in big trouble now if he can hear what I'm thinking...
"With that faraway look in your eyes, it's obvious you are pining for me~!" said Sanji, taking Nami's hand in his, attempting to draw her closer. "I'm here, my lo-ughhhh..." He doubled over, Nami's fist withdrawing from his stomach.
"Leave me alone!" said Nami, racing to her room and closing the door.
Usopp snickered from behind the cook, chewing on a spare roll he'd found. "Guess love really does hurt!"
Sanji glared. "Shut up."
"Okay."