[Oneshot] Promise of Forever
Title: Promise of Forever
Pairing: SeHun/LuHan
Rating: PG13
Summary: "And I cry; not for him, nor for myself,
but for the insignificant moment that 'could have been'..."
(sidenote: it's unbeta-ed but i'll get to that later :S)
-----
It was like the horizon was set on fire. The streaks of orange and red inflamed the blue of the sky, as gray wisps caressed the outline. It was a natural wonder; beautiful, pure, and original.
SeHun doesn't remember how long he's been standing outside. Bare feet and thinly clothed for the chilly Autumn evening, he stands in absolute silence; merely counting down the moments as the sun slowly disappeared. Sighing, a cloud of white kisses his lips. That quiet breath, that slight movement of his shoulders, was all an unspoken cry of pain; a cry of distress and uncertainty to which he, nor anyone, had answers for. Yet, despite all the controversial and figurative thoughts that brewed in his mind, he continued to stand there; the stinging bite of the cold eating away at his skin.
He tried to remember, in that moment of staring into nothingness, why. Why things had taken a turn, a sharp detour, and not reached the destination he had once seen. He remembers what they once had, and what they could've had. He remembers the past, and imagines the future that could've been.
He figures everything was like this; easy to be, but hard to keep. Like the wind, it slips through his fingers, failing to be grasped and held.
The light in his eyes disappear, the sun far gone below the horizon's line. Fingers twitching, the cold freezing away the nerves, he blinks once before deciding to retire for the night. Slipping past the sliding doors that led back into his - their - room, he doesn't look back as the moon unclothes and shines. He simply lifts the covers and closes his eyes, thinking that ignorance was a beautiful bliss.
~`
"Are you still in love with him?" Chanyeol murmurs, staring in dull fascination at the can in his hand.
It was well past midnight, and two solemn males were alone in a single bedroom apartment, with nothing but liquor filled aluminum cans to be their moral support.
Chanyeol looks to the mute boy next to him, frowning in impatience. "SeeeeeHuuuuun," he singsong's the two-syllable name in a slurred out fashion, "answer me." Chanyeol drops the empty can and shifts closer to the silent male. Bottom lip pulled out in a pout and eyes glazed with a hazed fog; it didn't take one to be a genius to know that he was drunk.
"I think it's time for you to go to bed now," SeHun says, pushing the boy away from him. He flinches when Chanyeol shakes his head and digs his nails into his forearm; gripping SeHun with all his might while staring with widened, demanding eyes.
"Doesn't it hurt?" Chanyeol says, his brows furrowing in confusion. "Right here," he continues, pointing at his own chest, "hurts like hell. Like someone took a burning stake and jabbed it through." A tear silently slides down Chanyeol's rosy cheek, but it doesn't seem like he notices.
"I didn't know how much it actually hurt," Chanyeol murmurs, hiccupping, his grip on SeHun's arm loosening. "I thought if I kept quiet, if I kept being the good friend I was, these feelings would go away."
SeHun stays silent, taking a sip of his drink and letting his friend spill his feelings like a broken water tap. But he couldn't help to feel that Chanyeol was echoing the thoughts that SeHun had locked away deep within his heart; shoved away into a crevice where light did not shine.
"I remember a time in high school, during my senior year, I dated two girls at the same time. You know, I was curious, and wondered if it was possible to have two equally stable relationships." Chanyeol's lips twitch at the corners as he stares at his hands, lost in a sea of memories, "it didn't even last a week before they found out and dumped me. After giving me public humiliation of course."
Chanyeol's frown turns sad as he flops onto his back; bringing up an arm to cover his eyes. "Karma's a bitch," he whispers, chest rising with each heavy breath. "Guess it wasn't satisfied then, so it came back to bite me in the ass again."
Stupid Byun Baekhyun...
Turning his head, Chanyeol stares with a grim silence as SeHun stares at the floor with a distant focus in his eyes. They were two fully grown men, wallowing in self pity and heartache. One searched for comfort, as the other wanted understanding sympathy.
They both found it, however, in the form of a bittersweet fluid that left a sorrowful aftertaste.
"You still love him," Chanyeol mutters, answering his previous question by himself. Reading SeHun's hushed stillness as a yes, Chanyeol's eyes suddenly flood with tears. Rolling over to his side, he puts a hand on SeHun's knee and squeezes it as he hides his face in the crook of his own arm.
Chanyeol's tears roll past his eyes with comfort, condolence, and bitter resentment. It flowed in streams and soaked into the cotton, as if leaving evidence of the pain that has dug itself deep into their hearts.
But he wasn't just weeping over his own loss.
He shed tears for SeHun as well.
Because SeHun had lost his ability to cry.
~`
The echo of thunder was like an ominous warning. Shadowed by the oncoming storm, everything was painted in light shades of gray as that unknowingly familiar smell of rain gathered at his nose.
Drop by drop, it offered comfort to SeHun's dry feelings. Soon, it was pounding down at a furious tempo as he sat motionless on the park bench, the rain enveloping him in a welcomed embrace. And much like an arid desert, SeHun soaked in the cool contrast of water sliding down his skin. He felt like he had found a piece of his oasis; like he was finally back to the starting point. But he could only drown himself in the washed out relief for a moment; it wasn't a forever.
So when he hears feet lightly splashing the wet pavement, and meets a pair of anxious brown eyes, SeHun doesn't flinch nor turn away in surprise. Because his forever was already gone.
"You're going to get sick," a voice, quiet yet filled with an underlying trace of obstinacy, murmurs.
SeHun holds the restless gaze with tedious defiance. Waiting silently under the heavy rain, as the voice of the once broken promise echoes in his mind, he tries not to cave into his loneliness; to not hold hands with that hidden secret.
But slowly, and surely, the piece of his oasis was threatening to crumble.
"Please talk to me." Rose tinted lips move to shape the whisper. And SeHun watches with dull interest as two more steps are taken towards him.
If he spoke now, his carefully built wall, his fortress, his shield; it would collapse. He would lose his relief of finding his refuge. And he would be vulnerable. He would be thrown to wallow in his grief and loss; to lose everything he had carefully constructed to create his fake happiness.
Within one moment, he would lose the forever he had tried so hard to make by himself.
And he would suffer imagining the moments that could have been alone all over again.
No. He didn't want that. He didn't want anything that would disrupt the flow of his carefully built wall of patience, woe, and dishonesty. He didn't want to repeat going back to hell.
"SeHun."
But there it was. That one word; one call of his name by that sweet voice, and it swayed the beast and captive memories in him. The overly familiar tone, the hushed whisper that trailed after his name, ruptured and pierced through his walls.
SeHun felt that it was unfair. Unfair how, after all these months, that one affectionate sound of his name could still influence him to this degree.
"We have nothing to talk about." The words came out like a broken record; hoarse and rough. It betrayed the vehemence and malice that bubbled in SeHun's chest.
The look of distress and alarm, as well as a hint of acceptance, flowed from the glazed eyes that stared back at SeHun. Both of them were soaked to the bone, chilled and wet, as the rain continued to pour over them.
SeHun didn't move from his seat, but took in the present form of his past memory; that was all the man before him was, the past.
From the slightly auburn colour of his hair to the pale complexion of his skin, the depth that his eyes held and the way he would quirk his lips when he was lost in thought; it was all the same. The small but sturdy shoulders to the curve of the waist, the slim legs and arms that moved with a hunched grace... it bothered SeHun how nothing seemed different. It fueled his inner self-esteem to look at himself; at how skinny he had got, how lifeless his movements were, how his eyes had lost its lustre to a dull black... He was barely hanging on; to survive, to live. And yet LuHan, his once-upon-a-time fairytale, looked completely whole; a perfect happily ever after.
Acid burned SeHun's throat as he rubbed away the water from his eyes; the taste of salt lingering on his lips.
"SeHu--"
"Stop." He says, a firm resolution suddenly bursting open. "We are strangers now, aren't we? We have nothing to talk about."
Just as he gets to his feet, SeHun bites the inside corner of his lips, spilling a metallic taste onto his tongue. He watches with weary eyes as LuHan takes one big stride to stand a hands-width apart from him. Glassy eyes stare up into glassy eyes; both reflecting the same emotion: longing.
"Can you walk away that easily?" LuHan's voice cracks and dies away, his sniffles and soft breath raising the hairs on the back of SeHun's neck. "Why do you pretend to not care?"
Even with the cover of the rain, SeHun could see that LuHan was openly crying. And he could see that LuHan was actually in the same state as he; hollowed cheeks from days gone without eating, dark shadows outlining his eyes, cracked lips that he had continuously bit, and a shine of tired grief flashing in those brown eyes.
Memories crashed into SeHun in waves; each recollection knocking into him with such a force he actually staggered on his feet. Images of smiling faces, thoughtful touches, and promising whispers that led to blindingly hot moments of wanton desires; SeHun was swimming in deep waters that were ready to swallow him up.
"I know you're mad. I know you hate me." LuHan says, bottom lip trembling with fear. He feared losing this last moment with SeHun, enough to have shaken him to the core with lasting panic. "You probably don't want to see me anymore, but I don't want us to break like this."
SeHun watches as LuHan's eyes trace his half-parted lips and up to meet his eyes, which were filled with conflicting thoughts. They stare at each other, neither of them breaking away.
"Not like this," LuHan whispers, a tentative hand loosely pinching the hem of SeHun's drenched shirt.
Subconsciously, SeHun brings up his own hand to gently caress the soft skin of LuHan's cheek. He watches as the older male tenses at first, then gradually relaxes, fighting to lean into SeHun's touch.
A shaky smile slips onto SeHun's grim lips, curving the corners into a bashful grin; something that LuHan missed greatly.
But.
Past the happy, fond memories, ones of sadness were also there. Arguments that lasted for weeks, the sleepless nights where the empty void between them grew as their silence prolonged, the hurtful words that led to the endless tears... Where there was light, there were also the shadows that followed.
"We're like glass, LuHan-ge," SeHun murmurs, the name rolling off his tongue effortlessly. But he couldn't say that it didn't pain him. Saying LuHan's name after days of sitting in his room purposely trying to forget it, stabbed at his heart. "When it shatters, sometimes it's better to leave them broken than to hurt ourselves trying to pick them back up," a choked sob ends his words, and SeHun brings up both his hands to cover his eyes. His hunched shoulders were shaking from the effort of just standing in front of LuHan, and he felt like his delicately built world was crumbling before his eyes.
This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. SeHun kept repeating those words to himself like an spell. He was even forcing himself to believe it.
Seeing SeHun so torn and broken, and not wanting to retrace their steps together to fix everything, a flare of hot determination warmed LuHan's body. No, this is not right. SeHun, we need to be together. For the sake of our sanity. Taking SeHun's hands, which were pushed against the younger boys face, LuHan blinks away the raindrops that mixed in with his tears and carefully took the large hands in his. He stares firmly into SeHun's lost eyes, his look of sorrow and hurt outlined with apology and assurance.
"There's always that one person, that no matter what they do to you, you just can't let them go," LuHan whispers, his calm voice stilling the shivers that ran through SeHun's body. "You would rather kill them, and then kill yourself, if they can't be yours anymore," LuHan continues, squeezing SeHun's hand in his. He brings the younger boys palm to his face, lightly placing a kiss on the hand as raindrops slide past the smooth skin.
"Holding your hand like this, it reminds me why I can never let you go," LuHan whispers, his throat closing up as he becomes overwhelmed. The yearning and angst clawed at him, demanding him to take SeHun and keep him under lock and key; to make sure they'll never part ways again.
LuHan needed SeHun, as SeHun in turn, couldn't survive without LuHan. They were each other's sun and fresh breath of air.
It was as if they're souls deteriorated the longer they stayed away from each other.
And neither wanted to admit how desperate and pathetic they were without their promise of forever.
SeHun stared at LuHan with a far-distance daze, as if he wasn't quite believing what was in front of him; that the heat he felt on his hand wasn't real. That this was all a dream; the rain that slid down his skin, the warmth that radiated in front of him. And the words of that sweet longing echoing in his mind.
If this was a dream, I never want to wake up.
With a shout that was a cross between a sob and laughter, SeHun wraps his arms around LuHan. Fingers entwine through wet hair, as the feel of hot skin left a trail of blazing want through his body. It was as if he was coming back to life; the faded colours of gray finally replaced with brightness.
"LuHan," SeHun breathes, his arms tightening around the smaller body in his arms. Nuzzling the crook of the slim neck, SeHun couldn't find it in himself to stop his tears from overflowing. Not that it mattered, as the rain covered all salty traces, and LuHan-ge was in his embrace.
Without a thought, SeHun tilts the elder male's face away from placing light kiss on his nape, to which he sighed at the loss, and roughly moulded their lips together. Bruising aside, SeHun knew that this was what they needed the most.
A feverish dance, one that contrasted the cool blanket of raindrops that wrapped around them. A dance of dominance and fire that melted away their doubts and worries, replacing everything with restless passion. It was a burning desire that ran through their veins, engulfing them to the state of tears.
Breaking away for a breath of air, LuHan clings desperately to the body in front of him. His arms wrap around the torso as his nose digs into the crook of the neck where he found that familiar sense of protection and security. Shuddering as warm hands travel up his back to caress his own neck, LuHan looks up again; only to meet teary, glazed eyes that stared back him with indescribable yearning.
Tears. Glistening crystals of forgotten sorrow were overflowing at the rims of the affectionate orbs. And all LuHan could do was stand there, in the warmth of his beloved, watching as each salty drop mixes with the rain that streamed down the handsome face.
With steady hands, LuHan gently touches SeHun's cheek; holding back his own tears as the arms around him tighten, not a breath of air between their bodies.
"I love you," LuHan hears next to his ear. It was that throaty voice clogged with emotion that carved into LuHan's mind.
Losing themselves to their lust and ache, they clung onto the heat in their arms; not wanting to ever let go again, not wanting to repeat the same mistake.
Only wanting to reiterate those words of I love you until their forever came.
A/N: bad ending is bad.
i don't know where this came out of. i just really felt like writing a SeHun/LuHan.
.....but i feel like it has no plot.
/sleeeeeep.
and yes, i am thinking of writing a side chanyeol/baekhyun later on :Db
Pairing: SeHun/LuHan
Rating: PG13
Summary: "And I cry; not for him, nor for myself,
but for the insignificant moment that 'could have been'..."
(sidenote: it's unbeta-ed but i'll get to that later :S)
-----
It was like the horizon was set on fire. The streaks of orange and red inflamed the blue of the sky, as gray wisps caressed the outline. It was a natural wonder; beautiful, pure, and original.
SeHun doesn't remember how long he's been standing outside. Bare feet and thinly clothed for the chilly Autumn evening, he stands in absolute silence; merely counting down the moments as the sun slowly disappeared. Sighing, a cloud of white kisses his lips. That quiet breath, that slight movement of his shoulders, was all an unspoken cry of pain; a cry of distress and uncertainty to which he, nor anyone, had answers for. Yet, despite all the controversial and figurative thoughts that brewed in his mind, he continued to stand there; the stinging bite of the cold eating away at his skin.
He tried to remember, in that moment of staring into nothingness, why. Why things had taken a turn, a sharp detour, and not reached the destination he had once seen. He remembers what they once had, and what they could've had. He remembers the past, and imagines the future that could've been.
He figures everything was like this; easy to be, but hard to keep. Like the wind, it slips through his fingers, failing to be grasped and held.
The light in his eyes disappear, the sun far gone below the horizon's line. Fingers twitching, the cold freezing away the nerves, he blinks once before deciding to retire for the night. Slipping past the sliding doors that led back into his - their - room, he doesn't look back as the moon unclothes and shines. He simply lifts the covers and closes his eyes, thinking that ignorance was a beautiful bliss.
~`
"Are you still in love with him?" Chanyeol murmurs, staring in dull fascination at the can in his hand.
It was well past midnight, and two solemn males were alone in a single bedroom apartment, with nothing but liquor filled aluminum cans to be their moral support.
Chanyeol looks to the mute boy next to him, frowning in impatience. "SeeeeeHuuuuun," he singsong's the two-syllable name in a slurred out fashion, "answer me." Chanyeol drops the empty can and shifts closer to the silent male. Bottom lip pulled out in a pout and eyes glazed with a hazed fog; it didn't take one to be a genius to know that he was drunk.
"I think it's time for you to go to bed now," SeHun says, pushing the boy away from him. He flinches when Chanyeol shakes his head and digs his nails into his forearm; gripping SeHun with all his might while staring with widened, demanding eyes.
"Doesn't it hurt?" Chanyeol says, his brows furrowing in confusion. "Right here," he continues, pointing at his own chest, "hurts like hell. Like someone took a burning stake and jabbed it through." A tear silently slides down Chanyeol's rosy cheek, but it doesn't seem like he notices.
"I didn't know how much it actually hurt," Chanyeol murmurs, hiccupping, his grip on SeHun's arm loosening. "I thought if I kept quiet, if I kept being the good friend I was, these feelings would go away."
SeHun stays silent, taking a sip of his drink and letting his friend spill his feelings like a broken water tap. But he couldn't help to feel that Chanyeol was echoing the thoughts that SeHun had locked away deep within his heart; shoved away into a crevice where light did not shine.
"I remember a time in high school, during my senior year, I dated two girls at the same time. You know, I was curious, and wondered if it was possible to have two equally stable relationships." Chanyeol's lips twitch at the corners as he stares at his hands, lost in a sea of memories, "it didn't even last a week before they found out and dumped me. After giving me public humiliation of course."
Chanyeol's frown turns sad as he flops onto his back; bringing up an arm to cover his eyes. "Karma's a bitch," he whispers, chest rising with each heavy breath. "Guess it wasn't satisfied then, so it came back to bite me in the ass again."
Stupid Byun Baekhyun...
Turning his head, Chanyeol stares with a grim silence as SeHun stares at the floor with a distant focus in his eyes. They were two fully grown men, wallowing in self pity and heartache. One searched for comfort, as the other wanted understanding sympathy.
They both found it, however, in the form of a bittersweet fluid that left a sorrowful aftertaste.
"You still love him," Chanyeol mutters, answering his previous question by himself. Reading SeHun's hushed stillness as a yes, Chanyeol's eyes suddenly flood with tears. Rolling over to his side, he puts a hand on SeHun's knee and squeezes it as he hides his face in the crook of his own arm.
Chanyeol's tears roll past his eyes with comfort, condolence, and bitter resentment. It flowed in streams and soaked into the cotton, as if leaving evidence of the pain that has dug itself deep into their hearts.
But he wasn't just weeping over his own loss.
He shed tears for SeHun as well.
Because SeHun had lost his ability to cry.
~`
The echo of thunder was like an ominous warning. Shadowed by the oncoming storm, everything was painted in light shades of gray as that unknowingly familiar smell of rain gathered at his nose.
Drop by drop, it offered comfort to SeHun's dry feelings. Soon, it was pounding down at a furious tempo as he sat motionless on the park bench, the rain enveloping him in a welcomed embrace. And much like an arid desert, SeHun soaked in the cool contrast of water sliding down his skin. He felt like he had found a piece of his oasis; like he was finally back to the starting point. But he could only drown himself in the washed out relief for a moment; it wasn't a forever.
So when he hears feet lightly splashing the wet pavement, and meets a pair of anxious brown eyes, SeHun doesn't flinch nor turn away in surprise. Because his forever was already gone.
"You're going to get sick," a voice, quiet yet filled with an underlying trace of obstinacy, murmurs.
SeHun holds the restless gaze with tedious defiance. Waiting silently under the heavy rain, as the voice of the once broken promise echoes in his mind, he tries not to cave into his loneliness; to not hold hands with that hidden secret.
But slowly, and surely, the piece of his oasis was threatening to crumble.
"Please talk to me." Rose tinted lips move to shape the whisper. And SeHun watches with dull interest as two more steps are taken towards him.
If he spoke now, his carefully built wall, his fortress, his shield; it would collapse. He would lose his relief of finding his refuge. And he would be vulnerable. He would be thrown to wallow in his grief and loss; to lose everything he had carefully constructed to create his fake happiness.
Within one moment, he would lose the forever he had tried so hard to make by himself.
And he would suffer imagining the moments that could have been alone all over again.
No. He didn't want that. He didn't want anything that would disrupt the flow of his carefully built wall of patience, woe, and dishonesty. He didn't want to repeat going back to hell.
"SeHun."
But there it was. That one word; one call of his name by that sweet voice, and it swayed the beast and captive memories in him. The overly familiar tone, the hushed whisper that trailed after his name, ruptured and pierced through his walls.
SeHun felt that it was unfair. Unfair how, after all these months, that one affectionate sound of his name could still influence him to this degree.
"We have nothing to talk about." The words came out like a broken record; hoarse and rough. It betrayed the vehemence and malice that bubbled in SeHun's chest.
The look of distress and alarm, as well as a hint of acceptance, flowed from the glazed eyes that stared back at SeHun. Both of them were soaked to the bone, chilled and wet, as the rain continued to pour over them.
SeHun didn't move from his seat, but took in the present form of his past memory; that was all the man before him was, the past.
From the slightly auburn colour of his hair to the pale complexion of his skin, the depth that his eyes held and the way he would quirk his lips when he was lost in thought; it was all the same. The small but sturdy shoulders to the curve of the waist, the slim legs and arms that moved with a hunched grace... it bothered SeHun how nothing seemed different. It fueled his inner self-esteem to look at himself; at how skinny he had got, how lifeless his movements were, how his eyes had lost its lustre to a dull black... He was barely hanging on; to survive, to live. And yet LuHan, his once-upon-a-time fairytale, looked completely whole; a perfect happily ever after.
Acid burned SeHun's throat as he rubbed away the water from his eyes; the taste of salt lingering on his lips.
"SeHu--"
"Stop." He says, a firm resolution suddenly bursting open. "We are strangers now, aren't we? We have nothing to talk about."
Just as he gets to his feet, SeHun bites the inside corner of his lips, spilling a metallic taste onto his tongue. He watches with weary eyes as LuHan takes one big stride to stand a hands-width apart from him. Glassy eyes stare up into glassy eyes; both reflecting the same emotion: longing.
"Can you walk away that easily?" LuHan's voice cracks and dies away, his sniffles and soft breath raising the hairs on the back of SeHun's neck. "Why do you pretend to not care?"
Even with the cover of the rain, SeHun could see that LuHan was openly crying. And he could see that LuHan was actually in the same state as he; hollowed cheeks from days gone without eating, dark shadows outlining his eyes, cracked lips that he had continuously bit, and a shine of tired grief flashing in those brown eyes.
Memories crashed into SeHun in waves; each recollection knocking into him with such a force he actually staggered on his feet. Images of smiling faces, thoughtful touches, and promising whispers that led to blindingly hot moments of wanton desires; SeHun was swimming in deep waters that were ready to swallow him up.
"I know you're mad. I know you hate me." LuHan says, bottom lip trembling with fear. He feared losing this last moment with SeHun, enough to have shaken him to the core with lasting panic. "You probably don't want to see me anymore, but I don't want us to break like this."
SeHun watches as LuHan's eyes trace his half-parted lips and up to meet his eyes, which were filled with conflicting thoughts. They stare at each other, neither of them breaking away.
"Not like this," LuHan whispers, a tentative hand loosely pinching the hem of SeHun's drenched shirt.
Subconsciously, SeHun brings up his own hand to gently caress the soft skin of LuHan's cheek. He watches as the older male tenses at first, then gradually relaxes, fighting to lean into SeHun's touch.
A shaky smile slips onto SeHun's grim lips, curving the corners into a bashful grin; something that LuHan missed greatly.
But.
Past the happy, fond memories, ones of sadness were also there. Arguments that lasted for weeks, the sleepless nights where the empty void between them grew as their silence prolonged, the hurtful words that led to the endless tears... Where there was light, there were also the shadows that followed.
"We're like glass, LuHan-ge," SeHun murmurs, the name rolling off his tongue effortlessly. But he couldn't say that it didn't pain him. Saying LuHan's name after days of sitting in his room purposely trying to forget it, stabbed at his heart. "When it shatters, sometimes it's better to leave them broken than to hurt ourselves trying to pick them back up," a choked sob ends his words, and SeHun brings up both his hands to cover his eyes. His hunched shoulders were shaking from the effort of just standing in front of LuHan, and he felt like his delicately built world was crumbling before his eyes.
This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. SeHun kept repeating those words to himself like an spell. He was even forcing himself to believe it.
Seeing SeHun so torn and broken, and not wanting to retrace their steps together to fix everything, a flare of hot determination warmed LuHan's body. No, this is not right. SeHun, we need to be together. For the sake of our sanity. Taking SeHun's hands, which were pushed against the younger boys face, LuHan blinks away the raindrops that mixed in with his tears and carefully took the large hands in his. He stares firmly into SeHun's lost eyes, his look of sorrow and hurt outlined with apology and assurance.
"There's always that one person, that no matter what they do to you, you just can't let them go," LuHan whispers, his calm voice stilling the shivers that ran through SeHun's body. "You would rather kill them, and then kill yourself, if they can't be yours anymore," LuHan continues, squeezing SeHun's hand in his. He brings the younger boys palm to his face, lightly placing a kiss on the hand as raindrops slide past the smooth skin.
"Holding your hand like this, it reminds me why I can never let you go," LuHan whispers, his throat closing up as he becomes overwhelmed. The yearning and angst clawed at him, demanding him to take SeHun and keep him under lock and key; to make sure they'll never part ways again.
LuHan needed SeHun, as SeHun in turn, couldn't survive without LuHan. They were each other's sun and fresh breath of air.
It was as if they're souls deteriorated the longer they stayed away from each other.
And neither wanted to admit how desperate and pathetic they were without their promise of forever.
SeHun stared at LuHan with a far-distance daze, as if he wasn't quite believing what was in front of him; that the heat he felt on his hand wasn't real. That this was all a dream; the rain that slid down his skin, the warmth that radiated in front of him. And the words of that sweet longing echoing in his mind.
If this was a dream, I never want to wake up.
With a shout that was a cross between a sob and laughter, SeHun wraps his arms around LuHan. Fingers entwine through wet hair, as the feel of hot skin left a trail of blazing want through his body. It was as if he was coming back to life; the faded colours of gray finally replaced with brightness.
"LuHan," SeHun breathes, his arms tightening around the smaller body in his arms. Nuzzling the crook of the slim neck, SeHun couldn't find it in himself to stop his tears from overflowing. Not that it mattered, as the rain covered all salty traces, and LuHan-ge was in his embrace.
Without a thought, SeHun tilts the elder male's face away from placing light kiss on his nape, to which he sighed at the loss, and roughly moulded their lips together. Bruising aside, SeHun knew that this was what they needed the most.
A feverish dance, one that contrasted the cool blanket of raindrops that wrapped around them. A dance of dominance and fire that melted away their doubts and worries, replacing everything with restless passion. It was a burning desire that ran through their veins, engulfing them to the state of tears.
Breaking away for a breath of air, LuHan clings desperately to the body in front of him. His arms wrap around the torso as his nose digs into the crook of the neck where he found that familiar sense of protection and security. Shuddering as warm hands travel up his back to caress his own neck, LuHan looks up again; only to meet teary, glazed eyes that stared back him with indescribable yearning.
Tears. Glistening crystals of forgotten sorrow were overflowing at the rims of the affectionate orbs. And all LuHan could do was stand there, in the warmth of his beloved, watching as each salty drop mixes with the rain that streamed down the handsome face.
With steady hands, LuHan gently touches SeHun's cheek; holding back his own tears as the arms around him tighten, not a breath of air between their bodies.
"I love you," LuHan hears next to his ear. It was that throaty voice clogged with emotion that carved into LuHan's mind.
Losing themselves to their lust and ache, they clung onto the heat in their arms; not wanting to ever let go again, not wanting to repeat the same mistake.
Only wanting to reiterate those words of I love you until their forever came.
A/N: bad ending is bad.
i don't know where this came out of. i just really felt like writing a SeHun/LuHan.
.....but i feel like it has no plot.
/sleeeeeep.
and yes, i am thinking of writing a side chanyeol/baekhyun later on :Db