I can't help but to wonder why I'm still here. why I really bother anymore. I feel so alone in the world. I don't know why I feel this way. I'm tired of people laughing at me. I'm tired of having nobody to talk to. I tried, I really did, i tried to put myself out there, but all I got was laughed and ignored. I just wanna have friends who really ( Read more... )

Your still gone.
I'm not giving up yet...
not yet.

... why does it keep happening like this? why do my "friends" always do this. I mean nothing to them... Nothing to anybody...

You were the last one. The last person to care. You were everything I love and everything I hated about my life. You were the last person who mattered to me, and the last person who i mattered too, without you, I'm empty.

So I've been getting by with what I can. Taking any job I can find at any cost of time. I don't have any free time. I work from 2:30-8 mon-friday, and I don't know my schedual for Saturday yet. I got another position at Metlife financial as a graphic/web designer. I don't know if it pays good yet, me and the manager are going to sit down and ( Read more... )

Things are getting better with me and Charles.. hopefully. but I still can't seem to find a reason to smile. what are friends anyway? and if I had them, than why am I still sititing here alone? I guess this is what life is made of. Tear and regret. I listen everyday to all the drama in peoples lives. Who's fucking who, and who fucked who over. I ( Read more... )

this is my life in pieces. Piece by piece, I can't seem to find myself anymore. I can't seem to find a care left. I have nothing left to loose. Everything I thought made me happy, everything that I thought would be a constant in my life, seems to be crashing. I don't know what to do ( Read more... )

Another lonely new years. happy new years boys and girls. I dont wanna be here for the next year. This has made me realize it's just going to be the same. The same as every other year. The only thing different...

is that nobody will listen.
happy new year.

I think back to last years Christmas, and last years New Years. How much fun I had with the people i was with. I think about the past Christmas, and it makes me wanna forget it. New years is coming up. No plans. It's just not fun anymore. Trying this hard... just isn't fun anymore.

I'm so sick. I feel like I've been drinking for the past 48hrs. I haven't drank for a while. I'm so dizzy and my head hurts and it hurts to swallow. I've been drinking milk and sleeping all morning. Hopefully I'll feel better before I have to go to work. I'm working from 1:30 to 8 today and the rest of the week. Hopefully I won't have to call in.

All she does is take and take and take. She takes everything from me and leaves me with nothing. Sometimes she doesn't even know whats happening. She took away my christmas party... she doesn't understand what that party means to me. It's only a work party but the people there are my only friends now. The only people I have. Nobody treats me like i ( Read more... )