I just am not sure I'm even interested in reading more on the stories of Buddhism. I'm not up for another savior figure. Did that. Don't think it's worth trying again even if I love Zen parables.
It's hard to lose that faith. But almost 2 decades after I left the church I've found peace in a much different belief system. You'll find something that will work for you eventually.The very best faiths keep evolving as you experience life and there are a lot of places that encourage that. *hugs* Hang in there, no matter what there will be other people who will feel similarly.
I think the important thing is that you're comfortable with admitting you've lost your faith. Keep in mind, I've been a non-theist/agnostic/whatever since I was around 12 (the age when our mom thought me and my brother were old enough to decide for ourselves what our faiths were; my brother is Buddhist now, I believe, but my mom still goes to church every week [she's Presbyterian]), but I do think that being comfortable with yourself and hence, your beliefs, is an extremely important part of life.
It's a shame; I know a lot of good Catholics (including my father and that whole side of my family) and former Catholics, and even one of the preachers at Spot's church who we've been talking about marriage convalidation with seems like a really amazing guy and I love the story of how he found his faith and how he feels people should feel about their faith. But the religion itself doesn't present that way, and you have to dig much deeper to find the compassion and love that I would expect from the guy(s) the faith is built around
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Don't worry about the rambling. I agree with you that everyone should consider their beliefs (religious or otherwise). Blind obedience isn't true faith. I do rather like Terry Pratchett's views on the matter in Small Gods: how a religion can get lost in empty rituals. Rituals need to have meaning to the individual.
For me, faith and religion is intertwined. Consider it a matter of my preference for structure and clear ethics and practices.
I don't think you should blame yourself for Spot questioning himself. The American Church has had a sharp shift to the right since the ascension of the latest pope. The previous pope was conservative, but more easy going/loving toward his flock. And he, Pope John Paul II had been pope for the majority of Spotty's life, and certainly all of mine. The current pope is putting his priests and nuns in chains, restricting their behavior, and pushing specific political messages beyond what had been normal. Catholicism isn't the most welcoming faith at the moment.
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Have you ever read The Cat Who Went to Heaven?
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I just am not sure I'm even interested in reading more on the stories of Buddhism. I'm not up for another savior figure. Did that. Don't think it's worth trying again even if I love Zen parables.
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I just feel very alone now. One of my ways to connect with other people is severed, and that hurts.
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It's a shame; I know a lot of good Catholics (including my father and that whole side of my family) and former Catholics, and even one of the preachers at Spot's church who we've been talking about marriage convalidation with seems like a really amazing guy and I love the story of how he found his faith and how he feels people should feel about their faith. But the religion itself doesn't present that way, and you have to dig much deeper to find the compassion and love that I would expect from the guy(s) the faith is built around ( ... )
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For me, faith and religion is intertwined. Consider it a matter of my preference for structure and clear ethics and practices.
I don't think you should blame yourself for Spot questioning himself. The American Church has had a sharp shift to the right since the ascension of the latest pope. The previous pope was conservative, but more easy going/loving toward his flock. And he, Pope John Paul II had been pope for the majority of Spotty's life, and certainly all of mine. The current pope is putting his priests and nuns in chains, restricting their behavior, and pushing specific political messages beyond what had been normal. Catholicism isn't the most welcoming faith at the moment.
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