The world we wanted 25/?
Khrushchev and his guys have to look at a map to figure out what the hell Cuba is too but the enthusiasm is still great.
“Do you speak Cuban?” one of the generals wonders.
“Spanish,” Russia says. “They speak Spanish in Cuba. And both Prussia and I speak that.”
Prussia can't help wonder how this is going to end. And if they have any Spanish interpreters. Russia has a tendency to be a bit liberal with his translations and if he had to Prussia would admit he had done similar creative translations in his life. There is a reason bosses don't want their nations to translate for them...
***
Russia decides that a diplomatic mission to Cuba is practically a vacation. Belarus calmly tells her brother that she wants to come along and no one has the guts to disagree with her. Russia asks Czech too, who has been grumbling a bit lately.
“Now we're going to be diplomatic,” Russia says and looks directly at Belarus. “We are going to visit Cuba to show him our support and get to know him, nothing else.”
“I want friends too,” Belarus says and crosses her arms in annoyance. “What makes you think I don't?”
“Nothing,” Russia replies in a small voice. “I was reminding... Prussia. Because Prussia isn't always that diplomatic and gets jealous and threaten people with knives and guns for no reason at all. It would be bad if that happened.”
Prussia and Czech try very hard to not look at each other.
“If East doesn't behave I'll stab him,” Belarus promises.
***
Cuba's nation has incredibly nice weather. Russia almost sings to himself in happiness as they arrive.
“It's so warm here,” he says in awe. Prussia remembers how Russia always wants to take over some warmer lands. Yugoslavia got pretty lucky, didn't they? Especially Croatia...
Cuba himself greets them without any large ceremonies, they don't want to announce loudly to America that Russia personally is here. But what they lack in ceremonies Cuba makes up for in cheerfulness. He looks like he has been sleeping in his clothes for days and doesn't give a damn.
“Welcome!” Cuba calls and throws himself around Russia's neck, almost burning him with the cigar he didn't bother to put out first. “We're so happy to finally have you here!"
Belarus hisses as the two of them embrace like long lost brothers. She is stunned into silence when Cuba draws her too into the hug.
“I'm Czech of Czechoslovakia,” Czech introduces himself.
“The German Democratic Republic,” Prussia says but gets no hugs.
"They're our satellites," Belarus says. Prussia isn't sure if she has a reason to point that out or if she just wants to be a bitch.
***
“It was amazing!” Cuba says. Prussia can practically hear the exclamation points in his voice. “The revolution is succeeding, I kicked America's ass so hard he had to run back home and sulk!”
Cuba tells that story again later in greater detail. Russia loves every moment of how America's secretive invasion ended in a humiliating defeat. Sure, Cuba had this revolution going on for a while but it didn't get fun until now.
“That's awesome,” Prussia agrees, because it is. But Cuba should be more worried about America coming back better prepared instead of sending some Cuban exiles. America is very, very powerful despite being a moron.
“Capitalist bastards,” Czech agrees, getting back into a happier communist mood. They all feel better because of Cuba's enthusiasm. Perhaps if other parts of the world want to follow they are on the right track after all. “I can barley believe you kicked America's ass like that.”
“But America will be back,” Russia says, thinking the same as Prussia. “He says he won't but we all know America is a liar.”
“But you want to be my friend, right?” Cuba says. “I feel a lot better knowing I'm going to get a lot of new friends from all over the world.”
Later on Prussia plans to tell him about all the new enemies he is going to get too. There might just be a matter of time until someone decides that castroism or whatever is a threat to their own position.
“My boss and I love you,” Russia says to Cuba's delight. “If you need help, tell us, we help you. We can put some troops here to support you. More things too perhaps. I'll talk to my boss.”
“I have to talk more to my boss too,” Cuba says. “He's a bit worried. But I like you guys. It feels good to have you around now. I would feel good about having your weapons and soldiers around too.”
“Yeah, you might need them,” Prussia says because he can't stop thinking about how America isn't going to accept this ever. If he was in America's situation he would be pretty displeased over having Russia planning to practically move in on his lawn. And Prussia defines 'displeased' as 'mobilizing your army'.
“My boss thinks America is a moron who gets manipulated into doing absolutely anything when his bosses tells him it's a matter of national security. I don't feel that generous right now,” Cuba says. “America is a bastard. A bastard who doesn't even dare to stand for his attacks.”
“Heroically invading his neighbors in the name of justice."
“I love you guys,” Cuba says. “Have some more drinks.”
The rum is a nice change from the vodka. It feels more festive.
***
Russia and Belarus speak to Castro and his guys while Cuba discreetly tries to ask Czech and Prussia about what they actually think of Soviet Russia as an ally.
“Don't get me started on Russia's bosses,” Czech says with utter drunk honesty. If he was more used to vodka instead of the beer he favors things like this wouldn't happen. He has that in common with West. “And don't get me started on weird communist speak where you say one thing and mean something else I never completely managed to figure out what it actually was. But Russia, Russia is a good ally. He's willing to fight for us if he has to.”
“You are so drunk Czech,” Prussia tries to point out. “You can't swoop down rum like it was beer.”
“I'm not! But that's not the point. The point I tried to make, before you rudely interrupted me, is this. Beware of Russia's bosses. They're all of Stalin's old crew and he was one asshole of a guy. But Russia is great. He's a bit scary but it's good to have scary allies instead of allies who look in the other direction when you get invaded.”
“You're a little bit rude to Russia,” Cuba thinks and pushes the bottle away from Czech's side of the table. “But even if that's true the Soviet Union is far away and America very close. I'm not that worried about Russia's bosses. They have been perfectly nice this far.”
In the end Prussia and Cuba have to pretty much drag Czech to a bed. The nation falls asleep imminently and Prussia feels grateful they will be spared more careless drunken rants. Some day soon he needs to ask what Czech's problem is.
Cuba and Prussia talk a bit more about how awesome they are and how they are not going to let America anywhere close their vital regions. But no matter how tough he talks Prussia can see that Cuba actually is worried about his future. Not that he can be blamed for that.
“At least Mexico and Canada are alright with my new boss and thinks it's no reason we can't remain friends,” Cuba says. “Nice to know not all capitalists are complete bastards to us but I don't think they are about to offer me any help. And I almost shot Canada on sight. How do people manage to not mix up him and his asshole brother?”
“I think they do all the time. The secret is to look at their expression," Prussia says. "If it's overly enthusiastic or smug, or if Russia is close, pissed off, then it's America. If he looks nervous and vaguely uncomfortable it's Canada.”
“Heh. Good advice.”
“My bosses want to be your friends too,” Prussia says, because Ulbricht specifically told him that. And because Cuba seems like a guy it could be fun to be allied with. “So do I. I'm saying this because my brother is going to refuse to have anything to do with you if you think that's a good idea too.”
“Your brother sounds like an ass,” Cuba says and Prussia likes him more. “I don't want anything to do with American allies like West Germany.”
“You're going to have your hands full with the communist dance anyway. Russia and China will drag you into their arguments, probably sooner than later... And Yugoslavia like to play all sides, not sure how you are going to feel about that.”
“I feel pretty uncomfortable about that to be honest.”
“It's not really as bad as it sounds,” Prussia says because he does consider them a part of his side despite everything.
"I'll guess I wait and see how it will turn out."
Eventually Russia and Belarus join them again. Cuba smiles brightly at Belarus and keeps offering her very girly looking drinks. She doesn't smile but she doesn't look like she wants to kill him either. When he finally manages to engage her in a discussion Russia takes a firm grip on Prussia and they leave very quietly.
"I like it when Belarus finds other friends," Russia explains. "And I confiscated her weapons."
***
In the end, it was fun and over way too soon. They attempt to gather in the morning but only Prussia shows up in time. Really, there is never an excuse to not be on time.
“How did things turn out last night?” Prussia wonders when Belarus finally appears.
“None of your business,” Belarus coldly replies.
Oh, she looks so guilty. He had planned to tease her about Cuba's obvious attraction but realizing it wasn't one-sided is so much better.
“Don't be ashamed,” Prussia happily says. Belarus isn't as much of an ice queen as she pretends. That's nice to know. “It's a perfectly normal way to celebrate a new alliance.”
“It's not something I would know about,” Belarus says, even colder. In this pressing warmth it's not as scary as in Soviet.
“You learn eventually,” Prussia says only to annoy her more. It works.
Before she can try to rip his head off Russia joins them, dragging an ill looking Czech behind him. Time to leave.
***
“I like Cuba a lot,” Russia says on the plane. “His boss too and Che who has been really enthusiastic about getting me here in the first place. I like feeling welcome.”
“Don't talk so loud,” Czech groans. “And the light... It burns.”
Russia pats Czech on the head and gets another pained grunt in response.
“Have some vodka. It helps.”
Czech looks very skeptical over this piece of advice but is in enough pain to try.
“I think it's cute with a communist nation who can't handle hard liquor,” Prussia says and receives a half-hearted kick from Czech. Belarus snickers and reminds him how she is able to drink them both under the table.
“I usually do better,” Czech mutters. “Must be the dehydration. Stupid tropical countries...”
“I think we had a good time and I think we should give Cuba all the help he needs to defend himself against America,” Russia says, returning to the main subject.
It sounds both frightening and promising. Because it's practically an invitation to open conflict.
I heard that the Soviets had little idea of what the hell Cuba was at first but still thought it was awesome. Not so sure of the source or reliability on that but I still can't help use that idea. I did see a bit of an interview with Castro when he said they had serious problems with translators though. I find the timeline over Soviet help to Cuba a little confusing, perhaps I have to revise something later. But I definitely go with that Russia didn't really care about Cuba until the Bay of Pigs invasion.
Croatia has such nice beaches. Russia would probably want them. And while they seem to get along in real life it must make Croatia very nervous here since Serbia likes to hang out with Russia and complain about Croatia...